Title: Do You Trust Me?
Pairing: SparkAnt
Suggested By: MistWrites on fanfiction
Original Prompt:
"I HAVE A PROMPT!
Sparkant
Kids
Ant is being bullied for being gay and at first Jordan is the on bullying him until he sees a single word as a scar on Ants wrist
Ends with one dying... (I'm evil :p)"
I didn't do exactly what you suggested, 'cuz I was kind of leaning away from the whole cliché 'I'm in love with my bully' thing. So, I made this. :3
Warnings: They both try to kill themselves. Oops?
Apologies: Because I spent so much time making this huge one-shot, I may or may not update Remind Me and Double This, Double That.
Genre: I don't honestly know. I suck at these, I need google's help. I guess it'd be angst, though... And humor, just a tad...
Song: "Get Home" by Bastille, and "Laura Palmer" by Bastille. But you can listen to whatever you want, these are just some of the songs I was listening to while I wrote this.
Word Count: 5,652 (WHAT THE FLIP. SO LONG. 14 PAGES ON OPEN OFFICE. WHAT.)
☼☼☼
Ant's POV
I watch as Jordan, the new kid, instantly clicks with the popular kids. He's got blue eyes that are usually covered by bright red glasses. He also has short black hair, plus some facial hair that I, admittedly, find really cute. He wears a suit that looks like it's been purposely torn; or, I don't know, maybe he accidentally fell on a patch of extremely sharp rocks and they just happened to tear up his suit so much that he really needed a new one, but he couldn't go back home and change for lack of time. Whatever. Either way, from what I've heard, he's really into video games and PVP. He competes in the Hunger Games a lot. I've seen him before, I've just never talked to him.
I watch one of the popular kids whisper something in Jordan's ear before pointing towards me. Oh, great, they're talking about me. Jordan's gonna end up hating me just like everyone else, isn't he? I quickly look down and continue walking down the path home so they don't realize I was watching them. Or, more specifically, watching Jordan.
The popular kids all giggle loudly, and I glance up at them again to see Jordan scoffing and rolling his eyes at them. He says something that sounds like "Pfft, watch me" (I don't know, I'm too far away to hear properly) and then strides over to me with a confident expression. I freeze, then recover and walk faster in the direction of home. He's going to try to beat me up, isn't he?
I don't want to hurt him.
I guess that's one of the ups of being the PVP king. No one can harm me, because I'm better than everyone else at fighting. Anyone who tries to hurt me gets beaten to a pulp. But I'm not the type of person who would beat up some random kid for no reason. I usually try to avoid violence. Maybe that's why everyone hates me, 'cause I'm the PVP champ, I could be the king of the school, and yet I'm too nice to start any fights for popularity (just shut up and pretend Ant is like this). Or maybe they're just jealous.
I don't know. What I do know is that Jordan is right behind me. I can hear his footsteps growing louder as he gets closer. Finally, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I immediately spin around. "What do you want?" I growl. I don't want to hurt him, not at all, but if I have to defend myself, I will.
"They told me I wouldn't be able to hurt you," he says, seemingly unfazed by my cold tone and threatening glare.
I can see the popular group watching us out of the corner of my eye. They're "hiding" behind a thin tree and laughing as they shove each other out of the way for a better view. I'm willing to bet they're waiting for me to wreck Jordan. Selfish, inconsiderate idiots. I sigh. "Well, they're right. I'm the PVP master."
He ignores what I said, saying, "I think they're wrong." One of the popular kids who was listening in on our conversation collapses in laughter. Jordan pays him no attention.
"They're not," I huff, getting slightly irritated. I turn around to continue to my house, but he steps around and in front of me, blocking my way. I roll my eyes and try to move around him, but he moves with me, preventing me from going in the right direction.
"They even bet me I couldn't hurt you," he says, stepping to the right to block my path again.
"That's cause you can't." I try to move past him on the left.
"Physically. I can't hurt you physically." He edges over to block me again.
"Uh, yeah..." I stop trying to get past him. What is he getting at?
"But what about emotionally?"
"W-What do you mean?" I ask, cursing myself for stuttering. This doesn't sound good.
"I'll get close to you, get you to trust me, and then I'll stab you in the back. That'd hurt you, right?" he asks as if it's not a big deal, as if he isn't telling me of his plans to break me down.
"I- what? Why would you straight-up tell me that you want to gain my trust and then betray me?"
"Just a warning, you know?" Wow, how polite. He's warning me that he's going to betray me. "So. That said, wanna come over to my house?"
I'm still not sure why I said "Yes."
☼☼☼
I walk home with a smile on my face. That was actually fun. Honestly, Jordan doesn't seem like the type to back stab someone. I mean, the entire time I was with him I was reminding myself that he's trying to hurt me. The entire time. But, even with that thought and his earlier words in mind, I couldn't help but notice how loyal he seemed. For example: He showed me a large tree house that he called "Jerry's Tree." It's named after his late pet slime, Jerry. Everything reminded Jordan of Jerry, literally everything. He would glance at something and go "Oh, look! … Jerry would have liked that." ALL THE TIME. Jerry's been dead for a while now, apparently, but Jordan never forgot him. He got new pets, but he never forgot or dissed Jerry. If he's like that over a pet, he'd be even more loyal to a good friend, right?
So it would make sense that, after we actually get close, he's not going to want to betray me anymore. Maybe we can still be friends.
Maybe.
I bound between two birch trees and into the clearing where I built my house. It's not much, just a small brick house with a flat roof made of birch wood planks. The roof has a railing outlining it, so one could go up onto the roof and enjoy the view without worrying about falling off and going splat.
I'm never this happy when I come home. On a good day, I'll be frowning as I enter my house. On a bad day, I'll be bawling. Today, I'm smiling.
SMILING.
THERE IS A SMILE, A FRICKIN' SMILE, ON MY FACE.
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
No, seriously, what do I do? Jordan told me himself that he's going to hurt me emotionally, that he's going to turn on me as soon as I start trusting him. But he made me smile. Smile. I want to smile every day. I don't want to go back to getting laughed at and insulted and verbally bullied and not having someone to cheer me up afterward. I want to be friends with Jordan. Permanent friends, not temporary friends.
But I guess that's not going to happen. It sure seems like he cares about me (which is something no one has done in at least three years), but he himself told me beforehand that he doesn't. He's just trying to hurt me, to break me down.
Ugh, why can't I get that into my head!?
Why can't I get him out of my head?
☼☼☼
My shoes squelch every time I lift them out of the mud. It rained last night – loudly, might I add – and now there is mud everywhere. The soles of my shoes are covered in thick brown mud with blades of grass stuck in it. The janitor's gonna love cleaning up the school this afternoon.
"Hey, Ant!" someone calls. I look up (I was staring at my feet as I walked), fully expecting to see some kid sticking his tongue out at me (so mature) or throwing insults my way. Instead, I see Jordan. He's waving his hands in the air wildly and running towards me. I laugh quietly (I tried to write 'breathily,' but spell check told me to either change it to "Breathalyzer" or deal with the annoying red squiggly line beneath it) and wave back.
"Hi, Jordan," I greet him quietly as he runs to my side and then turns around and walks back in the direction I was walking, matching my pace. "How are you?"
"Great. You?"
"Better than before."
"What was before?"
"Not good."
"Hmph. Anyways, wanna sit with me at lunch?" he asks, bringing out a pair of adorable puppy dog eyes.*
I laugh again. "Well, I can't say 'no' to that face. Honestly, your you-should-feel-guilty-now face must be horrifying."
"Oh, it is," he says, nodding and pressing his lips together seriously. "What class do you have first hour?"
"Uh, math. What's your first hour class?"
"I don't know."
"How can you not know? It's, like, the fifth day of school! Don't you have your schedule with you?"
"Nah. I just sort of wander the halls until a teacher sees me and directs me to a class."
"Wow."
"Yup." Awkward silence ensues as we walk the last few steps to the front doors of the school. That's when Jordan speaks up again. "Um... Do you.. trust me yet?"
I raise an eyebrow as I try to scrape as much mud as possible off my shoes and onto the doormat. "Not really. I mean, I like you. You're really cool, and it'd be neat to have you as a friend. But how could I possibly trust you?"
He shrugs. "I trust you."
I scrunch my eyebrows together. "Why?"
"Because we're friends."
"Are we? Are we really? Because not eighteen hours ago, you told me you were going to get close to me and then betray my trust," I say, walking down the hallway towards my math class.
He doesn't answer, and I walk to math alone.
Jordan's POV
Well, snap. I messed up. I actually like Ant, a lot, but I just had to take those idiots' bet yesterday. I wouldn't have even taken the bet in the first place, because Ant had done nothing to me, and I'm not going to try to break down this random person. But the people I made the bet with had told me Ant was practically evil, beating up people all the time, having no respect for anyone. I had no trouble breaking down someone like that.
But... Ant is not like that. Not at all.
Honestly, it wouldn't be that hard to just forget the bet and be Ant's legitimate friend. It looks like he could use a friend, anyway. We didn't even bet that much, it was just something stupid, like a dollar or something. I could just hand those "popular" imbeciles one dollar and be done with it.
One problem, though. I absolutely hate disappointing people, almost as much as I hate going back on my word. And while I didn't promise these people that I'd hurt Ant, I told them I'd try, and they're going to be super disappointed if I just give up. Of course, I'm sure Ant will be extremely disappointed if and when I betray him...
WHY IS LIFE SO HARD!? Seriously, someone tell me.
I watch as Ant walks away to his first class, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway. I don't know how long I just stood there, staring in the direction he went, but it must have been at least ten minutes. So it makes sense that when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I thought it was some teacher wondering why I wasn't in class. I turn around and put on an innocent smile, but then I see who it is.
"Oh, hi," I mumble.
"Hey! Whatcha doin' in the middle of the hall, Jordan?" Ryan** asks.
"Nothing."
"Right. So, how's the thing with Ant going? Do you agree that we were right when we said you wouldn't be able to hurt him?"
"No." Darn it, Jordan, you should have just said 'yes' and acted like you actually couldn't do it.
"Oh," Ryan says, sounding disappointed. What? I thought he wanted me to hurt Ant! I'm so confused... "I saw you hanging out with him. Are you just going to randomly throw a punch at him some time when he's not expecting it?" He pauses. "You are gonna try to hurt him, right?"
"Yeah. I promise." Darn it, Jordan, just shut up before you say some other stupid thing that you'll regret.
"How are you gonna do it?"
"I'm gonna be his friend."
"...What?"
"And then I'm gonna not be his friend."
"...What?"
"I'm gonna make a fool of him in front of the entire school as soon as I know he trusts me."
"Ooh. That's harsh."
I sigh. "Yeah. Yeah it is."
"Well, have fun with that, buddy," Ryan says, patting my back and turning to walk away. "I'ma go hang out with some of the guys. You wanna come?"
I shake my head, even though he's no longer facing me and can't see it. "Uh, no. I'll stay here."
"Trying to make a good impression on the teachers during your first days?" he asks, spinning to face me again. "'Cause standing in the hall during class won't do that."
"Oh, uh, y-yeah. I guess I'll be going then," I say quickly. He nods and walks off. Now, come on, Brain, please help me remember my first hour class...
☼☼☼
Ant's POV
"I'm not eating that."
"Well, you have to eat something-"
"No. No, I don't."
"Jordan-"
"NO. If you think I'm going to eat that slop, you're past wrong. That doesn't even look edible, Ant!"
"I don't know, it's slightly edible-"
"Slightly!?" Jordan screeches, looking terrified.
"What did you eat on the first few days of school?" I ask as he glares at his lunch tray. He sniffs it, scrunches up his nose, and then pushes it across the lunch table.
"I just walked home during lunch and got something from there," he replies, still sending angry glances at the cafeteria food.
"Why didn't you do that today?"
"I wanted to stay with you."
I can feel my lips trying to twitch up into a smile, but I force them to stay straight. I can't let him know that this is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me in three years. I can't let him know that I do trust him, as much as I hate to admit it. I can't let him know that he's my best friend. "That's stupid," I say, as much as it pains me. "You should just go home and eat. It's better than sitting here and starving."
"I'm not starving. I'm just hungry."
I huff. "Whatever. You should really try the cafeteria food, though, isn't as bad as it looks."
"So you admit that it looks nauseating?"
"Hey, I never said it didn't."
"Well. I guess I could try it..." He makes a disgusted face as he pulls his tray closer to him and hesitantly picks up the tiniest bite possible with his fork.
"Oh, come on, more than that! You have to be able to taste it, silly," I say.
"Fine, Mom," he jokes, shoving his fork into the mashed potatoes and pulling it out with a big glob of food stuck to it. "Here 'goes." Jordan winces as he sets the utensil on his tongue, closes his mouth, and then slides the fork out. He looks up at the ceiling as he chews, as if judging every bit of the food's quality. Then his eyes widen and he falls off the bench, yelling "AFTERTASTE! IT HAS AN AFTERTASTE!" Then he opens his mouth, sticks his tongue out, and rubs his hands against his tongue in an attempt to wash out the taste, all while making annoying "bleh, blech" noises.
"Uh, are you okay?" I ask, amused by his overreaction.
"NO!" he simply screams. By now everyone in the lunch room is watching us, and they all get a good laugh out of watching Jordan sprint out of the cafeteria, screeching about water fountains and aftertastes.
Everyone's eyes turn to me, the only other person who was sitting at our table. "I'll, uh, take care of him," I chuckle nervously. I never liked being the center of attention. Sending apologetic looks to the lunch ladies, one of whom is crying in the corner of the kitchen, I dash out of the room.
"Jordan? Jordan!?" I shout, running through the hallways. He's only been at this school for a few days, does he even know where the fountains are? "Jordan! Where the heck are you!?"
He walks out of a classroom, saying a quiet sorry to whoever is in there. "Oh, hi, Ant!"
"Hi? Dude. You just ran out of the lunch room like a complete lunatic. Are you alright now?" I ask, genuinely concerned for his well-being. Mental well-being, that is. Not physical.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Who was in that classroom?"
"A teacher and his class. And guess what? Not one of those kids had any idea where the fountain was."
I glance at the room number and then facepalm dramatically. "Jordan," I moan, dragging out the 'o.'
"What? What'd I do?"
"That's the room where the deaf and mute are taught. It's like a special learning program. Geez, you idiot..."
His ears turn bright red. "I-I... Uh... Mmm... Whoops..."
I snort at his ridiculousness. "Let's go back to the cafeteria. And, uh, no more school lunches for you."
"Got it."
"Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot."
"What does 'CS' stand for?"
"Captain Sparklez. It's my nickname. Where'd you see that?"
"On some of your school supplies. I was just wondering."
☼☼☼
"JORDAN!"
"WHAT?"
"HELP!"
"WHY?"
"I ANGERED YOUR DRAGON!"
"YOU MEAN CHERRY?"
"I THINK SO!"
"I'LL SAVE YOU, ANT!"
"PLEASE DO, HER TEETH LOOK SHARP!" I run around the small room in circles, flailing my arms and glancing over my shoulder at the baby dragon following me. "JOOOOORDAAAAN!"
"I'M COMING, GEEZ! CALM DOWN!" he tromps up the stairs from the storage room and into the main room, where his fake girlfriend has gotten involved in the Ant vs. Baby Dragon fight. "What. Did. You. Do."
"Heh," I laugh nervously, avoiding a shoe thrown from Sherry's seemingly endless supply. "I, uh, oops?"
"'Oops' is right!" he says, running up to Sherry and pushing her back. "Geez, calm down, Sherry! He's my friend, OK? Gosh."
"THERE'S STILL A DRAGON CHASING ME, JORDAN!"
"Oh, right." He makes some weird whistley sound that makes the dragon calm down and rest on the floor. It still glares at me when Jordan isn't looking though. Jordan suddenly laughs. "I just watched the great PVP king get chased around my living room by a baby dragon," he giggles. Oh. My. Notch. That is a beautiful sound, that giggle. Now if only he wasn't planning to betray me, I could fall in love with this dude. Oh, who am I kidding. I fell in love with this dude and all his little quirks quite a while ago, despite knowing he's going to hurt me in the near future.
"Pfft, well, I... I didn't want to hurt your dragon! I mean, she means a lot to you, so..," I reply, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Man, I rock at coming up at excuses for failures. (Note the sarcasm.)
"But you mean a lot to me, too, Ant, and it would seriously suck if my dragon killed you," Jordan says seriously. Oh. Wasn't expecting that.
"Heh..."
"Uhm..."
"Awkward..."
"Yeah, sorry..."
"It's... It's no problem, Jordan. I... You mean a lot to me, too," I confess nervously.
"H-How much?" he asks.
"What?"
"I mean, how much do I mean to you?"
"...A lot more than a friend should."
"I think I feel the same way."
"Then it's okay to say that I think I love you?"
"Definitely, because I think I love you back." I smile and speed-walk across the room, wrapping my arms tightly around Jordan as he does the same to me, and I'm so happy, so so happy, because this is perfect, this is all I've ever wanted, this is too good to be true... And when Jordan asks quietly, "Do you trust me?"
I reply with, "Yes. I think I do."
Jordan's POV
I love him.
But I promised.
☼☼☼
Ant's POV
I'm laughing happily as I walk to school the next day. This is definitely a first for me, seeing as school is where everyone teams up on me and insults me every chance they get.
But Jordan changed that. No longer is everyone trying to ruin my mood or make me feel like crap.
Now I have one person trying to make me feel wanted.
And it feels great.
I practically skip up to the school's front doors, smiling so much my face hurts. It literally feels like I'm walking on air. Screw the floor, I'm flying today. I smile even wider, because this is a very nice replacement for my usual gloomy mood. Then I hear the words, "Hey, Ant! How you doin', gay boy?"
What.
"Ant! Leave Jordan alone, kay? He deserves a lot better than trash like you!"
Ouch.
"Hey, Mr. King of PVP! Can we just acknowledge the fact that you completely suck and do not deserve Jordan at all? But hey, gotta give you props for even hoping someone like Jordan could love someone like you."
Embarrassing, yes. But mostly it just hurts. I swear, my heart stopped existing a few seconds ago.
"Sup, Ant? Any other straight students that you'd like to randomly declare your love for?"
Why would he tell them?... Wait, straight!?
"Hello, Ant! I think Jordan's in the cafeteria if you'd like to apologize for falling in love with someone so far out of your league."
Well, I'd definitely like to say something to Jordan. I am going to frickin' kill that man. I storm towards the cafeteria and find Jordan sitting on a table in the middle of the room, chatting with all the popular kids and swinging his legs like he doesn't have a care in the world. "Jordan!" I yell, getting his attention (along with everyone else's, which is not exactly what I intended).
"Ant! How ya doin'?"
Is he serious?
"Uh, pretty badly! What the flip is your problem?"
"I wanted to see you in pain. Remember how, a few days ago, I told you I wanted to hurt you emotionally? Well, ta-da! I'm pretty good at this, aren't I?" Oh my Notch, the fact that he's acting as if this.. situation... doesn't even bother him makes it even worse...
"Jordan! What- Why- I thought- What!?"
"Yeah, I sorta kinda mighta maybe lied when I said we were friends. And, I lied again when I said I loved you back. I just thought your reaction would be funnier if you thought I loved you, too." He giggles, that bitter-sweet giggle. "I think I was right."
I shake my head. "But... B-But... I..." I blink rapidly, but it doesn't stop the hot, salty tears from rolling down my cheeks. One of the popular kids bursts out laughing when he sees my tears, but you know what? I don't care. I thought this guy, this funny, sweet, caring, adorable guy loved me, but he doesn't. He doesn't. No one does. Not my parents, who left three years ago, most-likely because of something I did. Not anyone in this school, certainly not. No one. I have the right to cry. "I... Jordan..." I choke back a sob and look down at my feet, no longer able to meet Jordan's – almost bored – gaze. "I... Screw this, I'm... I'm done."
Jordan's POV
Well, I feel like crap.
I'd explain more, but I'm afraid if I mull over it too much in my head, I'll end up breaking down and crying in real life. That would suck.
But not as much as it would suck to have the whole school knowing that you are gay and that you tried to get a popular-ish new kid to love you.
Oh, what have I done!?
It isn't worth it, nothing is worth seeing Ant cry! Forget the whole keeping-promises thing, what I did was horrible, and I need to apologize to Ant immediately.
Wait. What did Ant mean when he said... when he said he was "done?"
Oh no.
"Oh my gosh, Jordan, I still can't believe that worthless idiot had the guts to tell you he loved you," one of the popular kids snorts.
"Don't call him something he's not," I hiss before darting out of the cafeteria. After finding that he is not in the hallway or any of the classrooms, I sprint all the way to Ant's house, getting lost a few times because I've never actually been to his house and all I have to go off of are the brief descriptions he's given me of his house and the surrounding area. "ANT!" I yell as I run through a birch forest, dodging leaves and ducking under branches. "ANT, IT'S ME, JORDAN! PLEASE TALK TO ME, I'M SO SO SORRY! I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE, PLEASE LET ME TALK TO YOU, ANT!"
He doesn't answer. Of course, I don't even know if he lives anywhere near this area. Oh, this is hopeless.
Never mind, I just found a clearing with a cute little brick house in it. There is a big chance that this house is Ant's.
"ANT!" I shout, pounding on the door. Oh, whoops, it's unlocked. I race inside, accidentally knocking over a small table but not caring enough to set it upright. "ANT, WHERE ARE YOU!?"
I hear a dull thud from somewhere in the back left corner of the house, and I run in that direction, peeking my head into every room and dodging furniture. I probably look really stupid, hopping around coffee tables and sofas, but right now all I care about is Ant.
"ANT!" I scream, banging on the only door in the house that I haven't opened – the only door in the house that's locked. "ANT, LET ME IN!"
"G-Go away!"
"ANT, LET ME IN, NOW!"
"No! I'm n-not letting you in, a-and I'm not coming o-out! Go away, Sparklez!" Oh my freaking goodness, he can't even say my name. Oh, what have I done, what have I done? I swear, if he hurts himself, I won't be able to live with myself...
"Ant, please!" I cry, sinking down and leaning my back against the door. "Please, I'm so sorry, Ant! I- I didn't mean, I mean, I really... Ant, I lied! I do love you, I do! I promise!"
"It's too l-late," he whispers, and I can barely hear it as I press my ear up against the door. "I don't trust you anymore."
I let out a sob and bang on the door again. "Ant, please! Please, please let me talk to you! Please open the door, I can't... I don't..."
"Bye, Sparklez..."
"NO!" I scramble out of my sitting position, shoving against the door with all my might and jiggling the knob several times. "NO, ANT, PLEASE NO! PLEASE, I CARE ABOUT YOU, I DO!" When nothing works, I start darting around the living room, looking for something thin and straight that I could use to pick the lock.
"No, you don't. You just wanted to h-hurt me," he says softly. "Well, you got what you wanted."
You know what? This is good. This is very, very good, because if he's talking to me, he's not killing himself. This is good. This is progress.
I finally find a small paperclip holding three papers together on the end table by the couch, and I yank it off the papers and bend it so it's straight. Then I rush back over to the bathroom door and start quietly and carefully trying to pick the lock. "No, n-no, Ant, this i-isn't what I wanted, not at a-all!" I say in a panicked tone. "Please come out, Ant! We can talk about this!"
"No."
"I.. I.." I can't pick the lock, darn it! Come on... My hand is shaking too much, I can't do it, I can't slide it into the right place, I keep shoving it off the left or right accidentally. "Okay. O-Okay, Ant, if you hurt yourself, I'm going to hurt myself, too."
"... What?"
"If you cut yourself, or anything similar to it, I'll do the same thing to myself."
"Y-You can't..."
"I totally can, Ant. And I will. I definitely will."
"No, you won't. You definitely won't."
"You underestimate my loyalty."
"Loyalty? You don't even know what it means, Sparklez." Ouch. Well, I deserved that.
"I know what it means. I just... I had to get my priorities in order. I love you, Ant. I just had to get past a stupid promise I made to act on it." I whisper, "Please let me in."
"No. I'm not dealing with any of this stuff anymore."
"Fine, I'm not dealing with it either."
"You don't even have a knife, Smart One," he says frustratedly.
"Gimme a minute, I'll get one from the kitchen."
"You don't even-" I can't hear the rest of what he says, because I'm already in the kitchen, rifling through drawers.
"Found one," I say, slipping back into the living room and standing in front of the bathroom door. I hold the knife carefully in my left hand as I try to pick the lock again with my right. Finally, I get it right, and the lock unlatches. I smile slightly and gently push open the door.
Ant stares at me with wide eyes and a shocked expression. He's leaning against side of the bathtub, hugging his knees. There's a bloody, discarded razor on the floor beside him and a sharp knife in his right hand. He holds it above his heart, but my eyes can't help but be drawn towards the letters carved into his wrist – or, rather, the initials. C. S.
Captain Sparklez.
Oh my freaking Notch.
Tears stream from my eyes as I copy his actions and hold my knife above my heart, not because I could die today, but because Ant could die today. "I'll do it, Ant," I warn him, my voice sounding broken as tears continue to wet my cheeks. "I will not hesitate to copy every move you make."
"I- No... Don't. J-Jordan, this is stupid." My heart leaps a little when he says my name, my actual name.
"You're right, it is," I agree. "But that's not gonna stop me from doing it."
"Please?"
"No. If you're going, I'm going with you, Ant."
"Well, I'm certainly not staying."
"Let's go, then."
"Let's." He makes a large slash across his chest, and more tears fill my eyes. I wasn't lying, though. I plan on copying his actions. So I walk over to the bathtub and sit down next to him before slicing my own chest, gasping at the pain.
"I love you," I whisper in his ear. "I promise I'm not lying."
"... I don't believe you... But I love you, too."
Third Person POV
"Hurry, those boys were dying!" the paramedic*** shouts at his team as they run into the small brick house. They split up and check every room in the house before coming across the two boys bleeding to death in the bathroom. Both are passed out. Both are in the same condition. Both are too close to death for comfort.
One of the paramedics tilts his head as he squints his eyes at the bathtub the two boys are leaning against. In the small space between the boys, there is a short message written in blood:
"Save him 1st."
And next to the smeared message, an arrow is drawn, pointing to the boy with the red sunglasses. The index finger on the other boy's right hand is covered in blood, while his left hand is behind his back, still holding the phone he used to call the police. He had whispered words into the phone's mic, telling the hospital their location and condition as the boy with the red sunglasses passed out on his shoulder. He had spent his last moments ensuring that the other boy's life would be saved.
The paramedic pointed out the message to the rest of his team, and they all nodded and loaded the boy with the red glasses onto a gurney, knowing they would only have time to save one.
And the boy with the red glasses, he lived.
But not really.
Because his other half was dead.
Because of him.
☼☼☼
Oh my freaking goodness, what have I done!?
*cries*
Isn't wasn't really that feelsy till the end, but... Oh, geez, MistWrites, I really hate you right now.. (jk I love you for suggesting this.)
Okay, so here are the asterisk thingies:
*Imagine if Jordan was bringing out literal puppy dog eyes. :3 OMIGOSH NO, DON'T IMAGINE THAT, IT'S VERY DISGUSTING, OH MY, NO, NO, NO.
**DUDES. I don't hate Ryan, I just. I don't know. It fit.
***I don't know doctor stuff. This is right, right?