It's December and I get back home just in time for Christmas. Keith and I have been running around all month, trying to cram in as much interviews as we could before Holiday time.
My family is very happy to see me. I know everyone misses me.
I haven't actually been that present lately. And even when I do get home, I sleep for a good eighteen hours.
I try to catch up with everyone. Dad gave a few seminars this past month and Mom's been crazy busy with her charity projects, as always. Eloise is doing well at work, but apparently it's taking all of her self control not to jump her partner. Apparently he's smoooooking hot. We all gladly remind her not to shit where she eats.
"How's Holt doing?" Eloise asks me on Christmas day, when all the presents have been opened and we're just sitting around in our pyjamas while doing puzzles.
I keep my eyes fixed on the jigsaw pieces. "Jeez, I have no idea you probably know better than me, I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving." I barely had time to come back home for Thanksgiving, but last year's invitation to Holt had been extended again this year. He'd been less awkward this time around, since he already knew my family. But even then, I had been mostly sleeping and eating and not catching up with him that much.
"But you live together," my sister reminds me.
"I've been away Lo, and he's been busy with college," I try to give as an excuse.
She makes a face. "You mean you've been running away from him?"
I pout. "Shut up."
"It might be a good idea for you to get your own place," she says.
The thought is like a punch in the heart. No way. Even if I'm barely home lately, the thought that soon enough, this whole documentary thing will be over and I'll have a Holt still waiting for me at home is probably one of the best motivators. If one of us moves away, I'd be too scared we'd lose touch. I know he'll never be mine, I'm wrapping my head around this reality, but I can't bear not having him in my life. He is my best friend. "Having my own place would be expensive for nothing," I give her as an answer.
"Yeah, but it would hurt a lot less."
"I'm fine," I automatically reply.
My sister snorts. "Suuuuuure."
I sigh. "Eloise, just drop it please. Okay?"
"Fine," she answers with a shrug and drops the matter.
I'm thankful. I know I'm not going to live with Holt forever. One day one of us will start building our actual adult life and we'll move in with a spouse, Holt will probably do that first, going to live with one of his clueless bimbos, and then we won't be together anymore and it'll be the end of an era. I'm not about to rush into this future.