I feel as though we do this repeatedly,
over and over, we push and pull
I look at you, contempt drowning my view of you
I look at you with blinding rage.
You smile and joke and I laugh
Me, the fool, falling for your boyish charms once again
we were a mistake and I hoped it hurt when I said that
I hurt more than you might ever know.
I can't explain it, shame, disgust, sadness but now I'm angry
angry at you
angry at me
angry at the stupid decisions we made that screwed us the way it did.
I said to wait, I said that I didn't want this but you,
you pushed it, I blame myself also
now what are we?
Screwed.
Can we stop ourselves from being pulled to each other like magnets to steel?
No, our bond, already overwhelming would never allow us that.
We should have never stayed friends after that mistake.
Our distance unsettling but our souls rest within each other's.