LET'S FORGET EVERYTHING
"Zayn!" Louis whined into the phone whilst trying to slip on his more dressy, fitted top. Tonight, he was going to go out and drink away his feelings. He hasn't gone out to party since the first encounter with Harry in the cafe and it was long overdue. Louis knew only one way of forgetting his problems: to drink it up, smoke it and get high and for some little time, everything disappeared. It made everything much better. Sure, it was an unhealthy way to deal with his problems and he was just feeding to his addiction but it was the only way Louis knew and he wasn't going to change it for the world.
"What?" Zayn practically snapped from the other line. "What do you want?" He really didn't seem like in the mood to deal with another one of Louis's trantrum, but this was the exact opposite of that. He had no idea what was in store for him.
"I want to go to the club tonight."
"Then go."
"With you!"
There was a pause from the other line because Zayn wasn't used to be asked to come out with Louis for clubbing. Louis had always tried his hardest to protect Zayn from any of that, any sort of negative media attention because he was fearful of how Zayn would handle it. It hasn't been the best in the past. "Are you... sure?"
Louis sighed. "I need you today." It was four simple words but there was so much more meaning to it. Louis never usually went around, announcing he needed someone's help because he had a big ego and hated to admit it. Instead, he just tried to cover it up but today - he needed Zayn and a good comforting drink. So, he could only imagine what was running through Zayn's mind as he openly demanded for his attention.
"Louis, I don't know. You know how mad the media goes when they see you like this," Zayn scoffed.
Louis snorted. "Do you really think I care? I just want to forget everything and have fun!"
"Louis... I don't know, since you got talking to Harry again you've been in a bad mood. I don't think it's.. healthy for you."
"It's not healthy either way," Louis admitted, shrugging even though Zayn couldn't see it. It's true. He couldn't live without him, he had no idea how he coped for the last three years but it was so different all them years back. Back then, Harry was a different person who was fun to be around and full of live, energy, willing to make others happy than himself. He was the perfect human being, with such a huge heart, willing to hand out love to everyone around him and people truly adored and admired Harry. Now, Harry was a different person and he only gave his heart, time to Dalton and as much as annoying it was - Louis understood. Once you fall, you fall hard.
Zayn sighed. "I wish things were different, I really do Lou."
"Alright, tonight isn't the night for deep talk. We are going to get drunk! I'm coming to pick you up in a few." He informed Zayn, hanging up and grabbing his wallet. He was just wishing there wouldn't be many people around today so he wouldn't get noticed as he slipped out of his house and locked it behind him. Louis got into his range rover with his security guard: Alberto, who didn't seem too pleased with his plans and went off, driving towards Zayn.
Zayn was waiting outside. He was wearing a grey floral shirt with black jeans and grey trainers, his hair quiffed up and his stubble ever so growing. As always, Zayn looked amazingly striking and handsome and there was never any flaws you could pick out. Louis raised an eyebrow at him, beckoning him to get in the car.
"You, mister, got ready a little too quickly," Louis wriggled his eyebrows as he started up the car and started driving off. He never went to a nightclub near by the city, it was just too close to home and he didn't like having any midnight memories like such nearby his tometown just so it could come back and haunt him. If anything bad was to go down, it would be faraway and he wouldn't be able to revisit it.
Zayn laughed. "I just had to slip my clothes on!"
"Sure, sure, you were just dying to come out with me, weren't you?"
"Well, you don't take me out too often."
Louis gasped, swatting Zayn's arm. "Yes I do! We go football, we go restaurants and I always come around for your delicious pakistani spicy food that ends up killing me in the end!"
Zayn snickered, grinning. "Yeah, that's all true but at night you never dare bring me out. To be honest, I never wanted to looking at the state of you!"
Louis rolled his eyes. "Niall's the only reliable one when it comes to me getting drunk."
"Mate, have you seen Niall get drunk? He's worst than you. He mistakes his shoe as his phone, please. No one can get worst than that."
Louis chuckled in the memory of the first time he took the boys out for a drink, which escalated to a lot of drinks and ended up with Niall having to stagger out of the building. He was so completely gone that he wanted to call his roommate and ended up taking his shoes off, trying to communicate through it. The others just stood there, cracking up and recording him and still tease Niall with it till this day. Niall, however, learnt to laugh off the sensitive things about his life and make it into a joke too which Louis adored.
"That was one of the best nights," Louis sighed, leaning back in his car as he picked up the speed. If he was to choose one boy to trust to party with, it would be Zayn - they were partners in crime and Louis could trust him blindly. If he had any bad ideas, Liam would be the one to lecture but Zayn would be the one to jump in and just go with it because life is short, life is supposed to be full of happiness and reckless behaviour.
It didn't mean that Liam wasn't a good lad to go to a party or club with because Liam really was a heavy drinker himself. He could get drunk and not even give a single fuck but he was more cautious with his actions, scared of getting Louis any bad publicity and Louis didn't want that. He didn't want the constant checking up on, making sure he's okay tonight. He just wanted a good escape from reality.
"So are you going to tell me what happened yesterday with Harry?" Zayn brought up the topic he had been trying to ignore, the whole reason he was driving out of town, searching for a good nightclub.
"Not a big deal."
"It clearly is if you want to get drunk the day after."
"He's just a prick." Louis spat, his blood boiling slightly at the thought of Harry wrapped in Dalton's arms. They were so good for each other it hurt. He didn't belong in the equation, Harry didn't love him like he loved Dalton and that was the end of that.
Zayn sighed. "Did he say something or were you just jealous?"
"Hey! I wouldn't be this angry if I was just jealous. Plus, jealously is a strong feeling, what are you talking about?" Louis rolled his eyes, hated being underestimated. His jealously was strong and he hated how little control he had over it.
They had finally arrived at one of the clubs which was prepared to let Louis through by separating one of the doors, just for him. He could never get tired of the VIP service he got wherever he went just because he was able to sing a few songs, perform and earn money. He cut the engine off, grinning up to Zayn because the fun was only starting from now. There were quite a few girls gawking and staring at Louis from the side but not saying anything, which he was overly grateful for.
Alberto lead them out of the car, ordering them to keep their heads down as they entered the club and the scene hit Louis straight away. The darkness, the music that vibrated in Louis's chest as he felt partially blinded - he could hardly see anything. He could make out the drunken bodies dancing in sync to the beat of the music, without a care and all the alcohol being passed around and this was definitely where Louis needed to be tonight. It was too loud to even think and that's exactly what he needed.
"We should get drinks first." Zayn suggested, moving towards the bar and getting shots for themselves.
They drowned a few shots and Louis could feel himself loosening up straight away, his head just a little fuzzy and he was already tipsy but the feeling was the best. It was indescribable and despite the burn in his throat with each drink he managed to get down, he was still smiling widely. Zayn was taking it much slowly since he wasn't used to this much drinking but he was also enjoying himself. A lot of people approached Louis, asking for pictures, and as much as he wanted to say no because these pictures would surface the internet - the drunken Louis, he couldn't do that to the fans.
So, he ordered all the people to line up and he got through each person. He offered a picture to each one, signing whatever they asked and even drank a shot with a few. They were all older, more mature fans so it was easier to deal with than screaming teenage girls. Louis was indebted for all the people but just wanted to have some quality time.
"C'mon, let's get to the dance floor!" Zayn chuckled, grabbing Louis's wrist and pulling him to the main dance floor where it was shady and pitch black. You could hardly see anyone, make out anything and the music was loud, vibrating off the floor and Louis could feel it.
He loved these clubs, he loved being able to momentarily forget everything because it made everything feel better even if it was just for a moment. Before he used to come here to forget Harry, forget the kissed and the memories shared and now he came here to forget seeing Harry again. A part of him knew this wasn't the last time he was going to meet Harry but a part of him was hoping it was because he didn't need this. He didn't need a physical reminder that he couldn't have Harry, no matter how well he has and could treat him. Louis was just a mess and he couldn't explain it, he couldn't bring his feelings out.
Zayn and Louis started dancing straight away. Zayn was grinding on one of the prettiest brunettes that Louis has seen and they were dancing to the beat of the music. He wouldn't be surprised if he was going home with her tonight. Louis glanced around the room uneasy. He hadn't usually tried to pick anyone up here or meet someone because he's always been fixed on one person but now, he didn't really care anymore.
"Hey! Isn't that the faggot Louis Tomlinson?" He heard someone shout over the music and his head snapped in that direction, squinting his eyes and trying to figure out where the sound had come from. He wasn't here for a fight but if someone tempted him, he wasn't afraid to let go of all the rage growing up inside. Plus, who did these people think they were using words like faggot? There was so much inner rage within Louis from all the shit he's had to deal with, and keep within himself regarding management, media, the hate, the fame and Harry and he wasn't afraid to let it show.
Zayn hadn't heard anything because he was still busy, dancing with the brunette and shooting her the most creepiest stares. Louis groaned, bringing his hand up to his head - wanting everything to stop for just a minute so he could figure out what was going on. His head was pounding already from the excessive drinking and the music that was too loud for him to even think.
"Oh my, he's such a fag, what is he doing here? Can't even handle the fucking club!" The same voice chuckled out loudly, tormenting Louis's thoughts further and making him enraged as he fisted his hands and tred to control his heavy breathing.
This time, Zayn had definitely heard because he dropped his hands from the girls hips he had been holding and immediately went over to Louis. "Who is that?" He whispered close up to his eyes so he could be heard over the music.
Louis shrugged. "I don't know!" He tugged at his hair. "Why the fuck are they calling me a fag? I've never done anything remotely homosexual in the medias eye!" He was confused. Sure, he knew his sexuality himself but he had never brought it to light to anyone except the lads because a part of him was afraid what the management was going to say.
"They're just hormonal teenagers, I bet. They have no idea what they're talking about and I bet they are just jealous if your fame and money." Zayn said, running a hand through his own hair and messing it up a little bit. He was just trying to reassure Louis but Louis wasn't having it.
"Oi! You little fag! Is that your boyfriend?" The same voice called out directly to Louis now and Louis caught eye of who it was. It was just another ugly looking chav, dressed in the most disgusting clothes with a smug smile on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing. And Louis could feel anger coursing through his veins just staring at this guy because who did he think he was?
He knew there was cameras on him, Louis knew people were recording him because all these people were nosy and just wanted to post it online and say 'they met Louis Tomlinson' and he knew better than let some measly idiot affect his feelings but he was annoyed already and he was trying to feed off it. He wouldn't mind getting his hands dirty, punching a few on this guy.
"Louis, forget it, let's leave before it goes wrong!" Zayn demanded, his voice starting to panic now as he tried to drag Louis's arm to drag him away but Louis refused, shaking his head.
Instead, he tried to ignore it and shrugged. "Am I offended by a little boy calling me a fag? They have no idea!" He laughed, his voice loud enough to be heard to the guy who was just smirking now. "You go back to your pretty lady, I'm going to try and have a few more drinks and meet some fans!"
Zayn seemed a little unsure whether to leave Louis here, he obviously didn't want them getting into any trouble. But, Louis was insistent and encouraged him to go and have fun - pushing him in the direction of the lady before he clapped his own hands and made his way over to the bar again. He was away from all the music, just a little bit and focused on getting some more drinks down him so he could forget everything for the rest of the night. He wasn't offended by the fag comments, he didn't really care as long as he knew who he was. He just didn't want it to become a huge rumour, having his management on his back wasn't what he wanted.
"Hey! You're Louis, right?" The bartender asked, a twinkle in his eyes as he dazed at Louis like it wasn't even real.
Louis smirked because he loved this reaction, he couldn't even lie. "Yeah, I am."
"My girlfriend loves you! Can I get a picture with you to show her?"
Louis shrugged. "Of course." He posed for the picture, pulling a few faces before the bartender nodded, grinning and moved away. He sat alone for a while, searching for Alberto but he was nowhere to be found. Alberto should be around him at all times just in case something went wrong.
"Oi you fag!" Louis heard someone call him, again and it was the same piercing yell he had heard before which got on his nerves. He squeezed his eyes shut, careful not to even flinch at the word and wanting to ignore it as much as he could. He tried to call up Alberto, to come and escort this guy out of the club but the phone kept going to voicemail.
"Are you too much of a pussy to even look at me? Ey?"
Why was this guy trying to challenge Louis for? Didn't he have any idea how this ended? He had some nerves to show up at this club, and be able to make fun of someone who had enough power and money to get this guy kicked out of this club permanently. Louis rolled his eyes, still not turning around and getting back to his drink which was half way finished. All of a sudden, he wished he had never let Zayn out of his sights because he wasn't even sure if he could manage to control himself right now.
"Knew it, you're a coward and a fag, aren't you? Disgusting really."
Louis snapped, that was the final straw and he couldn't take it anymore. He had received many comments like this before but it had never been this repetitive, never begged for his attention this much so he swirled around on his stool and stood up. He faced the guy for the first time, just some blonde guy who was completely hammered. Plus, homophobes were the number one reason that Louis despised the world and the fact that he was having to be faced with one was just disgusting. It made him want to give up with humanity.
"What the fuck did you say?" Louis demanded, grabbing the guys collar and bringing him close to his face. He could hear the guys breathing increasing, his eyes full with fear and Louis just chuckled because now he was in charge.
"What are you doing, you psycho!" The guy screamed, trying to push Louis away.
Louis could feel the cameras on him, the flashes going off and he could practically predict the headlines for tomorrow. But right now, he didn't even care and he wasn't bothered. He forgot everything for a second and focused in what was infront of him.
"You little piece of shit, you know that?" Louis snarled. "Who do you think you are huh? Do you know who I am?"
"Sorry man sorry!" The guy let out quickly, words tumbling over each other. "I didn't know what I was saying!"
"You called me a fag, didn't you?" Louis demanded, his eyes squinting as he clenched his fists and held it up so it was infront of the guy. He was practically threatening him and he didn't even care. "Didn't you?" He raised his voice.
The guy cried, literally cried. "I'm so sorry, you're cool man! Please, let me down! I love your music!"
Out of nowhere, Louis felt Zayn by his side and Zayn was tugging at him to let go. He tried to resist for a moment, to forget Zayn was standing there and keep his attention on the scum that was thinking it was okay to talk to Louis like that.
"Lou, you fucker! Let him down!" Zayn yelled, pulling at Louis again.
"Shut up Zayn, just for a second! I'm doing something!" Louis yelled back, wanting to push Zayn away but keeping his fist clenched by the guys face. Zayn moved forward again, trying to pull him away before he could do anything but instead, Louis felt his anger boiling and ended up throwing a punch straight square of Zayn's nose. Zayn groaned loudly, falling back from the impact and hiting his head on the cool tile of the bar.
By now, the whole club had been crowding around the whole scene that was taking place right before their eyes and everyone was recording it, flashes going off everywhere. Louis knew these pictures were going to be surfacing the internet in just a matter of a few hours, if not less, and he couldn't deal with all the articles, all the hate that was going to follow alongside it.
Louis realised what he had just done and instantly dropped the guy he had been threatening, he didn't even care because he had just hurt Zayn and he didn't know what to do. Louis has never even come close to wanting to hit or hurt his friends let alone actually do it. For a few seconds, he just watches Zayn groaning on the floor and as he leaned down to pick him up, Zayn slapped the hand away and glared angrily which made Louis back away immediately.
"Zayn, I-" But before Zayn could say again, Alberto appeared out of the blue and his eyes widened at the scene. He helped up Zayn first, handing over a tissue to wipe away the blood that was gushing out of his nose before ordering both the boys to leave the club right away. They went into the black car that was waiting for them, Alberto slipping into the drivers seat as the two boys stumbled into the back as they drove off. The night where Louis wanted to let go, have some fun with Zayn ended up in a complete disaster and misery.
"What did you think you were doing?" Alberto exploded as he drove through the back roads to get avoided being seen. "Do you know how much this is going to blow up in the media? They practically die to feed off news like this!"
Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes. That should be the last of his worries. He faced Zayn instead. "Zayn, really... I'm so sorry." He reached over to the nose that was being held under the tissue, bloody and Zayn flinched away from the touch, shrugging him off and looking out of the window before replying.
"It's fine, it was all in the moment." Yet, you could hear the hostility in his voice.
"No, it isn't acceptable. I was angry and I took it on you. I'm sorry, really. Come over and I'll make you food or whatever you wanted." Louis paused. "Forget that, punch me. Hit me back. Please, I'll do anything."
"I'm fine Louis." Zayn spoke through his teeth, ignoring Louis and putting his headphones in so he could block out all the sounds and the small talk.
Louis felt awful and he had a banging headache just thinking about what had just happened. He wasn't thinking anything through and he didn't even realise how much trouble he was going to get into. Management didn't like Louis messing around as it was, it ruined his image and tainted his perfect bubblegum image to the younger fans but the fact that he had went and put his hands on another person. That was definitely going to blow up. Louis's head was pounding, the alcohol still coursing through his veins as he leaned back in his seat and sighed heavily.
"I'm sure you'll be having a meeting with management soon, if not tomorrow!" Alberto was still talking, he was obviously afraid because it was his duty to make sure Louis stayed out of trouble like this if he was on duty and Louis felt awful.
"Don't worry, it's not your fault," Louis mumbled, massaging his forehead to find relief.
Alberto sighed. "This isn't about my job or whose fault it is. I care about you Louis, I've watched you grow up and I just don't want any more bullshit down your throat. You don't need it."
Louis nodded. "I know, I just lost it because that guy kept calling me a faggot. Who does he think he is?"
"People are going to talk, you just need to be careful of how you react. I'm sorry I didn't come before, I see all the missed calls now." Alberto just threw his phone on the spare seat as he parked outside Zayn's house.
"Zayn, get an ice pack on that nose and if it's broken, make sure to give me a call to take you to the hospital!" Alberto informed Zayn. Zayn didn't even give Louis a second glance as he moved out of the car, out of their sights and into his apartment and Louis felt his heart sink at how his best friend was acting. He really didn't mean to hurt him.
"I don't know what to do about Zayn..." Louis groaned in a low voice.
"He'll come around," Alberto reassured him.
"I punched him!"
"Well, you should of thought of what you were doing," Alberto simply said, sounding disappointed as they drove up the hill towards Louis's house.
"I feel awful, this is so bad. This is such a mess!" Louis punched the seat, trying to get out all his anger but his knuckles were already swollen and red from the punch he had delivered to Zayn and just looking at it, made him feel even more bad. It was shame he still wasn't feeling relived from the adrenaline coursing through his veins.
"Tomorrow, go over to Zayn's and apologise. He's your best friend, he will understand."
Alberto parked outside Louis's house, sighing as Louis worked with the door and got out. He gave Alberto a brief hug as he slipped into his house. He went straight towards his bed, shrugging off all the clothes that suddenly felt suffocating and cuddled into his bed. He thought over all the actions that had happened today and how much of a mess everything was before leaving Zayn a quick text message.
'I'm sorry, forgive me, love you x'