Evan's POV
I still am on Connor's lap. His chin was resting on my shoulder.
We were only a couple rounds in truth or dare, and it was already getting.... As Jared would call it, "spicy".
"Connor, truth or dare?" Zoe smirked.
"Uh, ... I feel like both options would be bad," he laughs.
"Well, too bad," Zoe shrugs.
Connor groans. "Fine. Truth."
"How'd you find out you were bi?"
"Uh," Connor stammers, "I think...in third grade I liked this girl named Heather but then the next year I didn't like her anymore... and... yeah."
"Wait, then how'd you find out you like guys too?" Alana inquires.
Connor blushes. "Uhh.... stuff..."
Alana frowns. "That's not-"
"-that was another question," Connor interjects.
Alana sighs.
"My turn!" Jared announces. "Connor, truth or dare?"
"Why is everyone after me?!" Connor replies, exasperated.
I laugh.
"Dare."
Jared winks at me.
??? Why did he-???
"I dare you to tell us how you found out you liked boys too."
"But that's a truth!" Connor exclaims.
"No, I dared you to tell."
Connor glares at Jared. "That doesn't count!"
"It does," Zoe and Alana counter.
Connor scowls. "Sheesh, fine. Um... In 6th grade we watched Titanic and I thought Leonardo Di Caprio was hot," he mumbles.
Zoe gasps. "So that's why you had all those titanic posters in your room that time! And in 7th you got into High School Musical because you thought Zac Effro--"
"Shut uuup!" Connor groans hiding his face".
"Aww," I comment, smiling while petting his head.
"He has been demoted to a dog now," laughs Jared.
"What?!" I cry, "No!"
"I am not a dog!" Connor exclaims.
"My dudes, chill," Jared says, raising his hands in surrender.
"Alright, my turn!" Alana declares, "so, Zoe, truth or dare?"
"Um, truth."
"I dare you to ask your crush out within 5 minutes. Text them, whatever."
Zoe shifts. "Do I have to?"
"The Zoe Murphy isn't backing away from a dare, is she?" Alana teases.
Connor sends Zoe an smirk.
What's going on?
"Fine then," Zoe huffs.
A minute of awkward silence.
"4 minutes left," Alana informs.
"I know, I know!" Zoe sighs, "Just let me prepare myself, ok?"
Connor's POV
Evan was clearly comfortable in my lap. He was now lying on his back across my lap.
Me on the other hand, not so much. My feet feel like they're being crushed because I put them in an awkward position. I also don't want to move them because Evan would notice.
"3 minutes," Alana warns.
"Hey Ev, can you move a bit?" I ask softly.
He abruptly gets off my lap. "Sorry!"
"No no, you're fine," I correct. I adjust my sitting position and pat the floor to the left. "Sit."
Evan rushes over and sits next to me.
I hook an arm across his neck. Evan respond by holding my hand with his left one.
Silence.
"2 minutes."
"So, Zo, when are you going to ask them out?" I ask, giving a smirk.
She glares at me. "Can you stop?"
"Nope," I reply cheerfully.
She rolls her eyes. "Of course."
"Stalling isn't going to help, Zoe," Alana says. "You have one minute to ask your crush out..."
"I know, I know," Zoe says, exasperated.
Connor shifts. "You know that you have to do it sooner or later..."
"10 seconds left!"
Zoe gets up. She looks incredibly nervous. "Um... well...uh..."
Alana starts to count down. "10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3-"
"Alanawillyougooutwithme," Zoe blurts.
The whole room is stunned.
Alana seems like she's having trouble processing. She blinks a few times before gesturing to herself. "Um... me?"
Zoe nods, blushing.
"Wait, really?"
"Yes."
"Is this a dream?"
Zoe's face falls. "No... it isn't... sorry.."
"Are you kidding? Wait, this is actually real?!"
Connor nods, slowly.
"Oh my gosh, yES!!!" Alana squeals, hugging Zoe.
"What just happened?" Zoe asks.
"You just got a girlfriend!" Alana smiles.
Zoe breaks into a grin.
Connor, Jared, and I clap as they hold hands and bow.
Next, they take a seat, still holding hands.
"Aww, now I'm the only single person here," Jared jokes.
We all laugh.
Minutes fly by and we find that's it's already 9pm.
"Guys, we should go, " Alana suggests, "We have school tomorrow."
Everyone groans.
"But it's still so early," Connor whines.
Alana rolls her eyes. "Not everyone stays up to, like, 3am every night like you do."
"My feelings!" Connor gasps, clutching his chest.
Zoe snorts. "You have no soul, so what feelings are you talking about?"
Connor coughs. "Agg, I'm hurt!"
I smile and place my hand on his. "Umm, soulless or not, I... I still love you."
Connor blushes and hides his face.
I giggle as Zoe and Alana "aww". Of course, Jared says, "supreme gayness level has reached level 69!"
Within the next 10 minutes, everyone had left except me.
"Why did you stay, Ev?" Connor asks.
"Well, You... I um... I kinda wanted to spend more time with you." I feel the heat rise to my cheeks.
Connor smiles. "I'm glad you stayed."
I nod, returning a smile.
"Hey, wanna sneak out?"
I gape at him. "Connor, you can't-! It's-! It's the hospital! And it's, like, 20°F (about -5°C) outside!"
Connor shrugs. "We have jackets."
"That's-!" I sigh, "Connor, please be reasonable. "
"What's wrong with going outside? Doctors want us to do that, anyways."
"It's freezing outside!"
"So?"
"You'll catch... um... hypothermia!"
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WARNING: mention of suicide attempts
{Please skip until you see the safe sign!!! Stay safe!!! Even if you think it might trigger something, don't read it!!! I'd rather you guys be safe!!! I'll also post a small summary right after the safe sign.}
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Connor's POV
"Sounds fun! Maybe it can finish off the job!" I grin.
There was a heavy weight in the air.
"Connor, I-" Evan starts, but I cut him off.
"-Whoops, I killed the mood there. You shouldn't have to listen to my self- deprecating jokes about my life, sor-"
"I never told you how I broke my arm, did I?" He presses his lips.
What?
I frown. "You fell off of a tree, didn't you?"
He focuses his gaze on the floor.
"Evan, you fell off of a tree, right? The branch collapsed?"
He shakes his head and opens his mouth, which refusing to make a sound.
"Then how did you-" oh. Oh.
"Evan, look at me," I whisper.
He turns his head away.
I take a breath before asking the question he must have dreaded to hear. "Did you fall? Or did you let go?"
The dam wall breaks and tears start flooding out of Evan.
"Evan, did you really?" I ask.
He manages a nod.
I wrap my arms around him, so tightly, as if he could slip through my hands.
"I just, I felt so... alone, " He chokes.
"It's alright, " I soothe, still embracing him.
"I couldn't take it anymore."
"I understand."
"And then... I was just... there. On the branch. For the view. And then all these... these thoughts, they just came to me and... I wondered if I... if I ever made a difference."
I open my mouth to say something. "Ev-"
"- If anyone actually knows that I even exist. If anyone cared whether I just... disappeared today or not. If I would make a sound when I hit the ground. If anyone would notice me just...laying on the ground. And then I thought I probably would be there for a week or so, because no one would notice. Nobody would notice I disappeared. No one cared if I disappeared."
"I care, Evan." At some point, I started crying as well.
He pushes my away. "Well, you weren't there to help me when I was on the ground."
"I-"
"You weren't there when people constantly came up to me and call me... these... these awful things."
"I know, but I-"
"You weren't there."
"I'm sorry," I sob.
"You weren't there when I needed you the most."
"I'm going." Evan stands up and leaves me curled up on a hospital bed, soaked with tears.
As soon as he leaves, I slam my fist into the wall.
What have I done?
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WARNING OVER! SAFE NOW!!
summary:
Connor says that maybe hypothermia could kill him off, which prompts Evan to speak about the real reason why he fell off the tree.
The phrase, "Did you fall? Or did you let go?" was used by Connor.
Evan says at that moment when he read on the beach, he wondered if anyone cared about him.
Connor responds, saying "I care."
Evan then responds, saying Connor wasn't there when he dealt with bullies. And that Connor wasn't there when he needed him the most.
Evan leaves the hospital room right after.
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A/n: 1452 words. I added some angst in it again, I'm sorry.
Anyways, how was your week??
11-25