LIV RAN as if the entirety of the great hall didn't have their eyes on her while she did so, as if that group of fifth year Hufflepuff boys hadn't began to smirk and mutter between each other as she raced past, as if the Hogwarts Professors hadn't began to stare from their own table too. Liv didn't care, she never did, while everyone else watched her race between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, hair and robes fluttering behind her, she didn't take her eyes of the unaware boy just a few more strides ahead.
Dean turned just in time to catch her flying through the air and into his arms, wrapping her legs around the boy who seemed to have grown a whole foot over the summer.
"Jesus Christ, Liv!"
"I missed you! I missed you! I missed you!" she called out to her bestfriend, each time leaving a cherry-red kiss mark on his skin, first his forehead and then both cheeks.
The Hufflepuff boys began to whistle in uproar towards their direction, God, is this what happens the second you turn into a teenager? One of the boys shoved another, Cedric Diggory, he wasn't whistling- infact, he wasn't smiling at all. Instead he looked at Liv and shook his head apologetically. Everyone knew he was the best of a bad bunch, he always had been. Liv had seen it first hand In Quidditch. A particularly nasty Hufflepuff VS Slytherin match had got nasty, many played foully, many were knocked off their brooms. Cedric had stayed back, stuck to the rules, and ended up catching the snitch in the midst of it all.
"Oi!"
Fred Weasley had appeared, striding through the sea of black robes- hair even more flame-red then usual being lit up by the hundreds of candles floating freely above his head.
"I'll fucking have the lot of you!" he yelled to the Huffelpuffs, gripping his wand scarily hard, before turning to Liv with a smile, "Good to see you, kid,"
"Hello, Freddie!"
Liv took her seat opposite the trio, they'd all perked up after the dementor incident, Liv had practically forgotten about it by now. Hogwarts did that to you, it made you forget all the bad stuff because the overwhelming joy was just so strong. She'd forgotten about her father too, and how he hadn't returned to the carriage once he'd spoken to the driver. She looked up to the teachers table, Remus was deep in conversation with Professor McGongall, she was laughing – a rare sight. That made Liv smile even more.
Padma tutted the moment she saw the red marks on Dean's skin and immediately began rubbing a wet thumb all over his face to wipe them away, "Honestly Liv, keep your lips to yourself, yeah?"
She was interrupted as Harry and Liv's names were suddenly called, Harry and Hermione spun round, Liv could already see the smug face of Draco Malfoy as he leant across the Slytherin table. His friend leaned in too, firstly Crabbe and Goyle either side. Liv believed they thought they gave off a 'big and scary' look, but really they we're just overweight. Pansy was pawing at Draco's arm and Liv couldn't help but roll her eyes at her stupidness. Draco was too busy trying to get Potter's attention to notice that Pansy was obsessed him, weirdly obsessed with him, Liv couldn't help but feel pity for the girl.
"Is it true you fainted? Like, you actually fainted?"
Liv hadn't found what Draco said funny at all, she never did. None the less the Slytherins all snickered as Draco looked even more smug with pride, Harry on the other hand flushed with red, when would he learn to stand up for himself? Once again Liv had to take matters into her own hands.
"Is it true your dicks the size of my pinky?" she called back, holding up her smallest finger.
Liv was pleased to see this provoked her cousin, maybe more so then he hoped, for his eyes filled with anger like she had never seen and he stared at Liv as if he hoped his glare would kill her. The Slytherins began to snicker too, Draco began to stutter with rage, he suddenly spat:
"Is it true your father-"
Dumbledore cleared his throat and the hall fell silent, including Draco.
"Welcome back everyone!" he called cheerily, Liv didn't take her eyes of Draco, if he had said what she thought he was going to she's never forgive him – actually, she'd hex him so hard he's be hospitalised for a week, maybe even a month if she got lucky.
"I am delighted to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year – firstly, Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on the teaching of care of magical creatures as well as his gamekeeping duties,"
Draco and Liv joined in with the applause but did not stop glaring evilly at each other.
"And secondly," Dumbeldore continued, "Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,"
Liv watched, Draco lowered his glare to where Remus was stood. His mouth twisted into a wicked grin and he looked back to Liv. He hadn't brung his hands together like everyone else in the room did, like he had for Hagrid, he had stayed still, and did not finish smirking until the room had fell silent once more.
"Of course!" Liv heard Hermione call to Harry, "that's why he gave you the chocolate!"
Liv couldn't bare to look at Draco any longer, she wasn't going to let him ruin the moment. Besides, the tables had now filled with mountains of food as the feast began, and the hall burst out in conversation.
"So!" Liv beamed, turning to Dean, "apart from growing, what did you get up too this summer?"
"Not much, watched a lot of football with my Dad,"
"What's that?" She asked.
"You don't know what football is?" Dean gasped. "Oh my God, I'm gonna beat your ass at a game of footie the second we get to the common room,"
"I'm in!" someone called, and Liv found herself face to face with Seamus Finnigan, who she didn't particularly like. She gave him the faintest of smiles, to which he beamed back- because clearly he hadn't taken the hint that Liv was not interested in him. But, any friend of Dean's was someone Liv would at least try to be civil with.
"Me too," Padma chimed in.
"I'll have a game," Harry said too.
So Liv spent her first evening back at hogwarts sat on the common room floor tying her bedsheet to two chairs, because, apparently, that's what's needed for a game of football. Padma was doing the same the other end of the common room, and Fred was cursing out anyone in the common room up to their dorms.
"Right," Dean began, "we need two people with similar abilities to be in goal,"
"You don't get more similar than George and I," Fred called, clapping his twin on the back.
"Perfect, now we need two teams,"
"Panda and I will be on a team!" Liv replied, winking to Padma.
"Dean, mate, you go with the girls so it's fair?" Seamus suggested.
"Fair? It is fair! Unless you think we're not capable because we are girls?" Liv gestured grandly. Seamus' face fell.
"No, no that's not what I meant—"
"Infact, we'll do girls vs boys- except for goalies. Harry, go on Dean's team and, uh.... Lav? Wanna play with us?"
Lavender was busy on the couch with Andrew Ross, a lanky fourth-year, and was practically eating his face. Everyone groaned. "I'm busy!" She giggled, before quickly continuing where she began.
"Right, okay then. Hermione?"
"Actually," Hermione began, snatching up the book that lay beside her on the table. "I'm off to do some studying,"
Everyone groaned once more.
"It's the first day, there isn't possibly anything you could be studying yet," Liv called, but Hermione had already disappeared up the girls dormitory stairs.
Angelina Johnson suddenly jumped from the couch, tying her long braids together at the back of her head. "Go on then, I'll play,"
Fred whooped in joy, and then the game began. Dean had the two teams stand in formation on different sides of the common room- while everyone else sat sideline to watch, he rolled the ball between his feet to the middle of the 'pitch' and began to count.
"No foul play, alright? Ready? 3.... 2.... 1,"
"WAIT!"
Liv had yelled a little bit louder than she had expected, Ron dropped his chocolate frog in surprise while Scabbers began to nibble at it, before the chocolate leaped across the room and out the window.
"I don't even know how to play!"
Dean laughed lightly. "Just... just try and get the ball and kick it in goal. It's just quidditch with your feet, without a broom,"
"Right, okay, I'm ready now"
"3....2...1!"
The ball moved between Dean, Seamus and Harry so quickly Liv feared she would fall over in dizziness. And suddenly, Seamus was bolting towards her with the ball, and with a quick shove on the back from Padma, Liv was bolting at him too. She had it all planned out in her head, she'd stick one foot out as if she was going to kick the ball away, but really use the other foot and...
The ball practically rolled right into her feet.
"Seamus, for fucks sake! We're on separate teams!"
"What?" Seamus questioned. "You tackled me!"
"You literally passed me the ball, but, whatever," Liv said, rolling her eyes, and took the disruption to her advantage, quickly booting the ball towards the goals direction while George wasn't looking.
Liv, and everyone else by the looks of it, was surprised to see the ball shoot into the back of her bedsheet. Ron and Neville began to cheer from the side line, and Padma began jumping up and down in joy. "You fucking scored a goal!"
20 minutes later, Liv had surprised herself at how good good her aim was. She scored 7 more goals, Padma 3 and Alicia only one- but she'd managed to block the majority of Harry's attempts to score, compared to Dean who scored countless goals, leading to the boys celebrating their win by dapping up each other.
After retrieving their bed sheets, Liv and Padma made their way up to bed like everyone else. Hermione had her curtains drawn shut already, and Padma quickly gestured to her bed, where they both jumped on top of the duvet with a giggle.
Padma leant over the edge of the bed and reached into her open trunk abandoned on floor and pulled out a handful of sweet goods before pulling back the curtains around them too. So, now, the girls spoke in soft whispers. There was no way Liv was going to risk waking Hermione up on a school night, she would never be forgiven. Padma had her head resting on her shoulder as the pair shared a box of Bertie Botts Beans, something they'd been doing most nights for last two years. Padma was able to effortlessly throw a bean in the air and catch it her mouth, something Liv had never got the hang of.
"I've missed this," Padma suddenly said, grinning as she threw a bean up in the air, to which her face suddenly turned sour. "Ew, tastes like shit,"
Liv smirked. "You're familiar with that flavour then, are you?"
"You little prick," Padma frowned, Liv smiled back; she was so easy to annoy and Liv enjoyed their little games. Padma began pushing her back with her foot, Liv was glad not too far- for she was already close to falling out the small bed. "Anyway, Lavender and Andrew, huh? Interesting pair,"
"He looks a lot like James Marsden, don't you think?"
"I couldn't tell," Padma scoffed, "His face was practically smushed into Lav's, honestly, she's going to catch something if she keeps sharing that much saliva with boys,"
"Not everyone kisses like that," Liv giggled, remembering the time she'd first kissed a boy behind a movie theatre because he'd promised he'd get her and Padma tickets for The Crush if she did.
"Hmm," Padma said sourly, "I wouldn't know,"
"That's a good thing! I say you wait until you meet someone who you know is the one, I don't want to see some stupid boy break your heart. So when you're sure on someone, just go ahead and kiss them, yolo, or whatever those first years keep shouting..."
Padma didn't know what came over her in that moment when she placed a hand behind the back of the other girls head and pulled her forward until their lips met. It was terrifying – she could practically feel the silver of her cross necklace burning against her skin as if it were screaming at her to stop. But Liv had kissed back, and the feeling of her lips grinning against Padma's own overpowered the sting of burning metal on her chest.
That was until Padma quickly pulled away.
Padma exhaled deeply, feeling as though she could sink through the floor. She knew Liv would think she's completely mad, but Liv had kissed back. Suddenly the curtains hanging around the fourposter bed flung open, and Padma groaned at the sight. Hermione stood, looking rather defeated, with a book clenched in her hand.
"I've been doing some research," she said eagerly, and began crawling on top of the bed too.
She pushed Liv's legs aside (so hard Liv had to grab onto the bed frame to stop herself from toppling out the bed all together) and placed the book down where they had layed.
"No surprise there,"
"I just couldn't understand why your hair had changed colour," She continued, ignoring Liv's remark, "I went straight to the library after dinner and brought back 37 books, I've been flicking through them all night and not a single one had an explanation. It's certainly a strange reaction to the dementors, the only thing I could find was this,"
Hermione gestured to the book laying open infront of Liv, both her and Padma peered down at it.
Liv read through the page. "Oh my God, Hermione. I'm not a fucking metamorphmagus!"
"I'm sorry!" Hermione begin, "There's just no other explanation, and you're so.... you're so-"
"What?" Padma snapped, "She's so what?"
"You think she's too good looking to be real? Are you really that jealous? You think this entire time Liv's been lying to everyone, and she's secretly been a metamorphmagus just because her hair changed colour once? We're witches, stuff like this is not out of the ordinary. Leave her alone, Granger,"
"I'm sorry, I was just wondering,"
Liv looked at Hermione, "Look, I'm not a metamorphmagus, and it wasn't a reaction to the dementors. It just happens when I'm sad, I don't know why, and honestly, I don't care- so neither should you," Liv began, closing the book and shoving it back into Hermione's arms. "Go get some rest Hermione, I've seen how full your timetable is, you'll need it,"
Hermione rushed to close the curtains once more, and after the scurrying of footsteps as Hermione rushed to her own bed stopped, Liv finally turned to Padma and smiled as warmly as she could manage- unsure if that was the right thing to do after kissing your bestfriend. Padma didn't return the smile. Fuck.
Did she regret it? Why would she, a small kiss didn't need to mean anything. Unless, it did mean more than Liv could tell, unless the greatest friendship Liv ever had turned out to be more than a friendship after all this time? Or maybe the kiss was bad? They boy at the movies seemed satisfied, infact, for Liv it felt better with Padma, more normal - as if it was supposed to happen with no free movie tickets in return. Just the feeling of her lips was a perfectly good reward.
Liv, deep down, knew Padma's sudden lack of joy had nothing to do with the quality of the kiss. Her eyes were darting from Liv to the small crack in the curtains as if someone was going to jump through them with a knife. She knew it - just did not understand why.
"Panda? What's wrong?"
"Why'd you kiss me?" Padma asked, and Liv's mind flashed back to the moment they'd kissed. To the times Liv spent admirably staring at her bestfriend – the short moments together that Padma made feel like an eternity. The times she'd failed to realise that – 'oh my God – I'm in love with Padma!'
"Why did you kiss me?" Liv asked back. Padma fell back into the bed pillows with a huff, as if to protest the question. She stared at the ceiling and twiddled her thumbs, something Liv had noticed Padma did when she was nervous back in first year.
"My Dad says it's wrong," said Padma.
"What? Kissing?" Liv asked, because all this is confusing her and Padma can tell.
"Honestly, Liv, sometimes you're the smartest person in the room – sometimes I wonder if you live under a rock," she told Liv.
"I live under a rock because I don't understand what's 'wrong' with kissing?" said Liv, beginning to smile again. Padma caught her glance for a second and did the opposite as she began to frown even more.
"It's sick! I'm sick! It's – it's a sin. Everyday I sin, I've tried to stop it. Get myself better. I try to distract myself with boys but it's like... it's like I was born the wrong way. I fall for the wrong people. The people I should love, I have no desire for – but......"
Padma trailed off and begun grinding her teeth in a way that made her jaw look like it ached. Liv looked at her oddly, listening carefully – frowning. She didn't know what to do, or what to say. Remus would, though. He always knew perfectly what to do in times like this. Padma was waffling on and on, her voice was hurt, she seemed close to tears.
"Love is not a sin, Padma,"
Padma looked at her – a sign of disbelief on her face and her teeth began to grind together once more. "The type of love I want is,"
Liv raised an eyebrow at Padma. "You must want some really fucked up love for it to be a sin. God loves everyone, right? I'm sure he won't mind you doing the same," she said. Padma shook her head briskly, and gave Liv a look that was darker than intended. Her hands began to shake, Liv reached for them. "I'm your bestfriend, Padma. You can tell my anything,"
"If I tell you, you have to tell me a secret too, so we're equal," Padma said, looking straight at Liv who nodded, and Padmas thumbs began play with each other once more. "Okay. Fuck. Please, you can't tell anyone, okay? I like girls. I like girls, that's it. You can't change me, or.. or tell me it's a phase. It is what it is – "
Liv clasped a hand over Padma's mouth to stop her from talking. There's silence, and Padma's eye refuse to meet Liv's own. "Okay?" Liv said. Padma grimaced. "Is that not normal?"
"What? No?" Padma yelled in shock.
"Shhh! Shhh!" Liv hushed, indicating to behind the bed curtain where two other girls lay, "well, so do I!" She added, "But I didn't know you were supposed to make a big, dramatic announcement like this!"
"This is not a big announcement - you're the only one I've ever told! It's not normal, we're sick, Liv. Girls are supposed to like boys, and boys are supposed to like girls. Not the other way around,"
"But... but I like both? You're being ridiculous, my Dad said you're allowed to love whoever you want, and when is he ever wrong? Why would that be restricted by gender?" Liv asked.
This was all so strange for Liv, and she was disappointed when Padma began to explain that they were different – frowned upon, hated even by some people. And suddenly she's uncomfortable, and understands why Padma had kept such a thing a secret. Now she's sad, she supposed her friends wouldn't react badly, but Padma convinced her to keep it secret too, just incase.
"I like you, Liv." Padma suddenly said after giving Liv the time to think things over, "that's why I kissed you,"
Liv eyes widened, and she looked up at Padma, "Shit, for real?" She let out, "You mean, you like me the way I like Brad Pitt?"
"Yes. You're my Brad Pitt,"
Liv had a huge grin on her face. She wanted to hug Padma – or maybe jump up and down in joy, but they're still confined in the small space of a single bed. So, instead, she grabbed her bestfriends hands into her own again.
"I promised I'd tell you a secret," Liv said to Padma. She wasn't sure why she was about to tell Padma this, and definitely hadn't comprehended what the consequences would be, but Liv had a newfound trust in her, and was about to spill the biggest secret she'd ever had to conceal, "Sirius Black is my father,"
There was a slight pause where nothing happened except for Padma's mouth dropping wide open. Liv's heart was beating faster than it had when she'd been kissed, but in an awfully uncomfortable way.
"Oh wow," Padma said, "that's fucked,"
"Totally fucked," Liv agreed, pulling back the bed curtains and standing up on her feet, "I should go to bed – let's hope he doesn't kill me in my sleep,"
Padma giggled at that, and it's the sweetest sound Liv's ever heard and she giggles too. "This doesn't need to change anything, you know? What I told you, I'm just glad I finally got it out," Padma said quietly.
"Yeah, I understand," Liv replied. Honestly – what Padma had told her was the greatest compliment she'd ever got, but she frowned, and turned just in time to catch Padma before she pulled her curtains back and disappeared for the night, "Wait!"
"What if it did change things? In a good way, I wouldn't mind that,"
Padma closed her curtains with a smile, leaving Liv alone in the girls dormitory. Lavender was snoring softly to her right, so Liv grabbed the nearest abandoned shoe and chucked it towards her bed. Lavender yelped at the sound of the shoe colliding with her bed curtain – and suddenly the girls dormitory is full of life once more. Hermione and Padma pulled back their own curtains in unison, and Lavender began ranting about how her beauty sleep can't be interrupted. Liv slipped into her own bed during the sudden commotion ; she'd chosen that one back in first year because it was closest to the window, and the window had a clear view of the moon. Her sheets smelt like fresh cotton, and there wasn't a single crease in the material. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep at Hogwarts for the first time as a third year.
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