"I'm dead. Like soooo dead. Dead as a dead snake." She swerved into the other lane as the car in front of her slowed down.
"Can you umm maybe not drive like a maniac or else we might actually end up dead." Her amused friend muttered from the passenger seat.
"I'm so doomed." She slammed on the break as she almost missed the exit on the highway. She swerved yet again to take the exit. "I basically accused him of being a murderer."
This was the consequence of her always running her mouth at the wrong time in very much wrong places.
"I think I should just drop out. I'll just have a youtube channel. Get famous and rich so I can buy the Alex drawers from Ikea and other useless things from Amazon and make a video about it. I mean Hijab tutorials are very in right now."
"You can hardly tie your own hijab." She could bet her own life that her friend was rolling her eyes.
"Fake it till you make it, Bitch"
"Stop cussing like a sailor." The prim and proper Sanaz scolded her.
"I'm not." She completely denied. Her friend was tripping. When did I ever cuss like a sailor?
"Why do you think we have a swear jar?"
"Because you like to rob the money out of me and eat ice-cream with it." She threw her hand in the air. "Stop changing the topic. If I don't drop out, he is gonna expel me from college for slandering him."
"Rabail, take a deep breath." Her calm voice made her quiet and she took a long breath and sighed. "Let's go eat frozen yogurt."
Well, why not. Might as well just eat her humiliated in the form of yogurt.
~~~
The sun was peeking in through the blinds. Freaking Sanza. Her perfectionist of a friend was probably ready and conquer the world at 5 am. She snuggled more with Akira as the blinds got pulled up.
"I swear to God, I will murder you one day." She pulled the fleece over her head as the bright light struck her side. "WHo the hell wakes up at five am on Sunday."
"It's one pm." The perfectionist deadpanned. "The other girls are all moved in. You might wanna come out of the Royal throne and grace them with your mighty presence."
"Where is my Royal Crown?" She stretched out her arms and sat up in her bed. She sighed in content as she stretched her muscles. Across the room, her friend shook her head in amusement.
She looked down at the sleepy cat and scratched her head. The cat just rolled and went back to sleep.
"The cat is asleep more hours than the day itself has." She frowned and kept running her hand through Akira's fur.
"She is awake more than you are," Sanaz muttered over her shoulder as she sat there in her black pantsuit. She must be shadowing a case or doing a follow-up.
"Did you have too much lemon water? Why are you so sour on this beautiful lazy Sunday?" Rabail stood up and stretched her arms up. "It's time for the Queen to say hello to the world of peasants."
Sanaz chuckled lightly and Rabail's eyes lightened with happiness as she saw her friend finally smile.
/////
After having the therapy session with Sanaz, she changed out from her pajamas and decided to meet her housemates there were only two other girls. Weird. The apartment was for 6 peoples, 3 bedrooms with 2 people in each. It was weird that there were only 2 other girls out there as it was the last day to move in.
Both of them were on the couch busy in conversation. She walked to the kitchen counter and as they heard her, they turned around. She smiled and they returned the favor. Both of the girls got up and came to the kitchen counter as well. She waved at them in greetings.
"I'm Rabail. Sanaz and I are roommates."
"Falak." Her hair were colored dark red and she had a lip ring on the left side of her lower lip. She looked absolutely gorgeous yet rebellious. She shook her hand and smiled
"I'm Zarmina." This one was completely opposite. She was rather more put together. Her light brown hair were pin straight. Face completely bare of makeup yet she looked breathtakingly beautiful. She was the type of conventional beauty. The one that everyone wished they had.
"Nice to meet you both." Both of the girls nodded in reply.
She spent the day getting to know girls as she helped them settle in. Part of her was worried about Sanaz as she left with Evan. But the evening went on without much of a commotion. Her housemates were sweet. Zarmina seemed grounded while Falak was rather on wilder side and she could understand why. The girl came from a filthy rich family. She wondered why Falak ended up here instead of following the legacy of her parents and going to the Ivy League.
"I refuse to go." She pulled up the blanket on her face and curled up into a ball almost.
"Why are you acting like a baby?" Sanaz's frustrated voice. "You are twenty-three, not two."
"I'm not a Baby."
"You so are, especially with your useless tantrums."
"He is gonna kick me out anyway so Why do I have to take the damn shuttle with sweaty and stinky people within it and walk to the Baldwin Hall, go to the eighth floor and then get kicked out. I mean why."
"Shuttle ride is only five minute, not five hours. Come on get your lazy self up."
"Why can't you leave me alone?" She groaned under the blanket.
"Because friends don't give up on each other." She could hear a smile in Sanaz's voice. "Because you never gave up on me. This important for your career so there is no way I'm letting you screw this up.
"Stop emotionally blackmailing me." She flipped down the blanket from her face"
"Whatever works." Her best friend smirked.
She reluctantly got out of her bed and put her shoes on. She had Evidence and Interference class earlier so she was ready anyway. There were only fifteen minutes left in her appointment with Professor Khan aka Lucifer .
"It can't get worse than my class." Sanaz groaned as she dumped her overly priced books in her bag.
"Oh please. I'm about to go face the Lucifer himself. Pray for me so I can get back without being nominated for the first ride to hell."
"It's Federal Income Taxation lecture." Her friend raised her eyebrows in challenge.
"Never mind." She grimaced in disgust. "I'll take Lucifer any day."
"Why do you keep calling him Lucifer and Grim Reaper? He is quite attractive, to be honest."
"Have you seen him? He looked like he was gonna burn me down to ashes with his eyes only."
"You did call him a murderer."
"Whatever, Bye. If I'm not back by eleven pm call 911."
She bid goodbye to her friend as she got off the shuttle and started walking toward Baldwin Hall. She sighed gratefully as it was closest to the bus stop. She was in no mood of walking across campus and bringing the car meant going to war while trying to find a parking spot closer to main buildings. There were more chances of one's surviving The Hunger Games than finding the parking spot on campus.
Shrugging off her jacket, she entered the building. The evenings were still warm even with the frosty breeze from the ocean. The closer she got to the eighth floor the more her anxiety started spiraling in her stomach. The guilt of hurting another person was coming alive
She despised any free time she had. Her thoughts weren't a comfortable space for her to dwell in for a long time. Her conscience was reminding her over and over what she did. Hurting another person wasn't what she stood for. Hurting herself was another story. She was no saint, but her mean comments usually stayed between her roommate and herself.
She nervously stepped out of the elevator doors and the floor was filled with the students who needed the add codes from one professor or other.
She excused herself as she walked past the swarming students. She was going in her trance and searching for Room 20. Of course. She exasperated as she stared at the map of the floor that was on the wall. Of course, his room was going to the last one in the corner.
The incoming students swarmed around the hallway as she crossed the hallway halfway through. That's when she spotted the 6-feet tall Lucifer. She could recognize him anywhere and she barely met him once.
There was something about him that was grandeur than the surroundings he was in. The aura was different. The air felt stiff and filled with warning. Maybe it was the way his hair were always tied back or that there were tattoos peeking out of his suit on the back of his neck and even on his hands.
Her tiny body couldn't keep up with his strides he was already of ahead of him. She sprinted as he opened the door to his office. She dashed for the door. Bad move. The moment she reached the door it was slammed shut.
Her body slammed into the door. She flew back and landed on her behind. Damn this is going to hurt. Sitting in the chair will hurt. This was his revenge. She was a hundred and one percent sure that he was going torture her minute by minute.
"My apologies." The door opened and a low husky voice came through it. "I did not realize there was someone behind me-"
While dusting her hands, she looked up from her place and smiled awkwardly. The recognition fell on his face and he stared at her with disdain. She dusted herself and stood up.
"The uhm-uh- Assistant." She started to explain. Don't over talk. No nonsense. "I'm the journalism assistant." She was so expecting him to slam the door into her face. He looked at his watch and back to her.
"Come on in." He walked in holding the door open. She slowly walked in. Almost hundred percent sure that he was going slam it in her face. Maybe I can finally have a reason to get rhinoplasty. She never liked her tiny round nose.
She followed into his office and it seemed like she was rather transformed into another world. The curtains were drawn and there was light only from the lamps and ceiling lights. There were heaps of books and books. Everywhere. Added to them were manuscripts. It seemed rather like a part if library. A cave of books. One would think, it'd be a mess, but no it was an organized chaos. Everything perfect in its place.
The smell of old books and coffee mixed together was a soothing balm to her anxious soul. She inhaled it as she closed her eyes for a second. The darkness of the office suited him. She didn't know him but he seemed to fit right in. It felt like his home. Dark, alluring and mysterious, just like him.
As he passed by her, a very earthy fragrance wafted through. A mix of wood and ocean. Intrigued by the peeking tattoos at his neck, she stared at the back of his neck. In her mind, his physical persona and being professor just didn't go together. What were the circumstances that pushed him to be a professor?
He turned around and caught her staring. Fudge, oh well. She gave him a huge awkward smile. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She was supposed to apologize for the stunt she pulled on Saturday. However, with the way her meeting was going, she seemed to be digging a bigger hole for herself.
He took a seat in his chair on the other side of the desk and pulled a file from the heap of files that was on his desk. He didn't even have the courtesy to ask her to sit. Rude Lucifer.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she glanced at him and he was engrossed in the file he was reading. She pulled out her phone and it was a text from Sanaz.
You better say sorry or you are starving for the whole week. - Sanaz
This self-righteous witch. She sighed in exasperation. He looked up from the file and raised his perfectly arched eyebrows. Oh shit, that was loud. Again she gave him the huge creepy, cookie monster style smile.
"I uh," She sighed and reached for the rubber band on her wrist and started snapping it against. His eyes followed the movement. "Nervous habit." She bit her lip. From the way his eyes scanned the numerous bracelets on her hand and then stared right into her eyes, she knew he didn't believe her. For a second her body shivered fear that he could see the scars hidden under her bracelets. She needed an out so she got to the point she needed to say.
"I'm sorry for what happened on Saturday. I didn't mean. Sometimes I exaggerate and end up saying stuff that is not even related. I'm mean when I thought of literature professor I didn't think it was going to be someone like you." Stop talking, Rabail. But like always she ignored her inner voice. Across from her, he leaned back in his big office chair and listened to her intently "I believe it was going to be Shakespeare looking old guy with glasses hanging around his neck. I didn't think it was going to be someone with mafia looking tattoos, hair tied in a small bun, and with an angry face. It seemed like the person in the photo belonged to an outlaw motorcycle-" she then realized what she rambled on. I'm so fucking dead. "-club." She sighed and finished off her death wish.
Maybe it'll hurt less and be less humiliating if I jump out the window. If not before, now for sure he was going to mutilate her and feed her to his wolves. Because he didn't seem like he'd have pets like normal human race. He seemed more like he owned lions, tigers and for sure wolves.
"What I meant to say was I'm sorry." She squeaked as he watched at her with those coal black eyes. Without the natural light in the room, they looked like a bottomless abyss or like the moonless winter sky. Cold and Dark. Again like last time, his eyes seemed like they carried some kind of torture, but she couldn't be sure whether that was an illusion or truth.
"Miss Noor-"
"Wait... wait... wait... I never introduced myself. Why do you know my name?" She squinted her eyes suspiciously. He picked up the file he was reading and turned it towards her. It was her portfolio that was probably sent by the administration. "Oh." She just bit her lip to stop herself from rambling on.
"Miss Noor," his voice was low and guarded just like his face. Nothing in his demeanor could tell her what was going on in his mind. "Are you apparently apologizing because you are actually sorry or because you got caught?"
His words threw her off her balance. She never thought about it. She said sorry and moved on without thinking twice about. She could clearly lie and she was excellent at lying. But what was the point when he knew that her apology wasn't sincere. If she truly felt sorry she wouldn't have sputtered the stuff she did a few minutes ago.
Her silence was his answer and finally, an expression took place on his face. The one she was intimately familiar with. The one that she could never handle. Disappointment. That's was he felt about her. The snapping of the rubber band on her hand got faster and more painful. It felt good because it diverted her from other injurious thoughts.
It wasn't because he was of any importance to her. No, she wasn't just good anything that resembled failure in any sense. At the moment, it seemed like she failed him.