-2:57am-
No matter how hard you tried,
sleep was impossible.
Trying so hard to sleep made it even harder to sleep, so desperate for something you couldn't have..
but why?
Life had been good recently. An amazing day spent with family and loved ones, great food and overall amazing company. Everything was so good, life was so good right now. No school meant no academical stress, your family even seemed to start to accept Seungchol! Heck, a battle for 17 years was seeming to end, so why did you lay awake crying? You lay awake staring at nothing but darkness, feeling an overwhelming wave of sadness. You didn't understand which depend your sorrow, running over and over again in your mind the same question;
W h y a m i s a d ?
You shook your head and hit it, physically trying to knock sense into it. You felt so sad and lost despite being in a 'stable' place? It took you what felt like hours to figure it out and when no answer appeared you turned to your last resort.
You got up, opening a drawer and pulling out a little box. The box gifted to you by Seungchol. You gently unwrapped the fragile paper and caressed the wood slowly, You opened it up, gazing in as the metal casing glowed dimly in your dark room. You hadn't seen it yet, so once you took it out, it unravelled magically before your eyes.
A pocket watch?
Eloped in intricate pattern of clockwork artistry in a golden frame. Cogs and machinery symbolising not only how complicated clocks are, but also your love. You inspected it closely, reading every cursive sentence and staring intently at all the numbers and lines. You twirled the purposely rusted chain and tried opening it, yet it would budge. You didn't want to break it, so left it, unaware of the treasures inside..
You smiled and wrapped it back up, carefully placing it on your dresser, on show to the world. Showcasing your love, why should you be ashamed of it?
It's not like he's ashamed or anything.
Right?
— — —
"Come to think of it, he's never shown me off"
You lay on the sofa, looking up at the warm ceiling whilst on the phone to Wendy. At first you discussed Christmas, then one thing led to another and you ended up speaking about boys.
"Aw c'mon, he loves showing you off"
"Oh really? When?"
She paused. Obviously not knowing a time. You both knew it was true.
"Alright maybe not, but that doesn't mean he's ashamed!"
"I don't know what it means, but i don't want even want to think, i have a speech tonight" you groaned and she responded accordingly.
"Oh i would HATE to be you right now"
"Thanks for that"
"Oh this is the one with Seungchol's family"
"Yeah, i think it'll be good though"
"Well good luck, i gotta go. Text me your outfit and don't mess it up idiot"
"Oh thanks for that" you sarcastically shouted into the line and she hung up laughing.
You looked up lazily at the time and realised, you had only three hours and you hadn't showered in 5 days. WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN? You ran up to your room and started to get ready, showering, shaving, dressing; you name it, you did it. It took you ages to get presentable again, too focused on getting ready to notice or even anticipate how bad tonight would be...