Y/n's P.O.V
I drag my feet through the piles of snow that cluttered on the sidewalks. Normally I'd swear and mutter under my breath but today it was somewhat relieving. The snow slowly fell with silence and the crunching effect that my shoes created whenever I took a step; it settled in my heart with peace. I felt like just stopping and falling onto the white sheet of blanket, sleeping like there's no care in the world. But there was no time for that, besides my clothes would get wet and I'd freeze. Last thing I wanted to add on my list of problems was hypothermia and finger, toe removal surgery.
The bus stop finally came into view and strangely enough only one person was there. Maybe everyone is driving to school? Or calling in? I shrugged my shoulders. When I came closer to the curb I noticed the lone stander was actually Kyle. He looked down at his phone checking something. "Hey Kyle" I said in a monotone. Kyle looked over in my direction and smiled when he noticed it was me. "Oh hey dude" Kyle shuts off his phone returning it to his pocket after he wiped the snowflakes off his screen. I ceased to stand beside him and stared off into the street. "Is everything okay?" I looked over at him "ya, I'm good. Why?" I questioned flinching slightly every time a slowflake landed near my eyes. "Well you and Kenny haven't been around each other lately. You and him both seem to look like hell. So, I just was wondering if you?... well you know.." he mumbled the last part, I could tell he regret bringing it up.
"Kyle, don't worry about it. Even I don't know what's going on.... we are still together but Kenny just hasn't spoken to me since Karen's pass. He seems exhausted and weighed down" I explained tucking my hands into my pockets of my jacket. "I see... then what about you?" I take a moment to think clearly about what I was going to say. "I guess the same is for me. I'm slightly shook with what happened, but not as much as Kenny. But really, I've just been getting some bad nightmares so I'm very tired." "Oh, what about?" I look away with a frown "I rather not talk about it" "okay..." Kyle frowned, but left the conversation at that. "Where are the boys?" "Kenny I don't know. Stan is driving Cartman to school because he lost out on a bet" "when did you guys establish a bet?" I questioned "awhile back. You where there remember? Cartman was never gonna get a date?" "Right" I mouthed. Soon the bus slowly pulled up to the curb "that's why I don't make bets with fatass he always cheats at them. He probably paid the chick" Kyle hissed under his breath I laughed as we took our seats beside each other. "There, there. No need to be insecure you'll find the perfect girl one day" I patted his arm and Kyle snapped his head towards me "hey! Who's side are you on?!" He shouted with stress in his expression I only laughed more.
Time Skip~
Kyle and I got off the bus and headed straight to our lockers. I waved him goodbye as I stopped in front of my locker. Once I got it open I proceeded to take off my jacket and put away my belongs only taking out what I need. Suddenly as I shut the door to my locker I notice Kenny right beside me I jump. "Oh my gosh" I place my hand on my chest "sorry, didn't mean to scare you" he smiled, but there was something off about it. This is the first time he's talked to me in awhile. Maybe he's starting to feel better? "So, what's up?" I ask now locking up my locker "uh, nothing really. Hey Y/n?" I turn to Kenny with a questioning look "yes?" "Is it okay if we talk about something?" He puts his hand in his pockets fidgeting with something. "Ya of course" "in private?" Suddenly I felt my heart sink in my chest "oh um sure" I found myself stumbling over my words thinking about what was about to happen.
Anyone who was in a relationship and heard the work 'can we talk in private? Or we need to talk' knew there wasn't going to be a good outcome afterwards. We walked down the end of the hallway and stepped outside. The area we were now in reeked of cigarette smoke and I found myself breathing through my sleeve. Trying to block out most of the smell best as possible. "So..." Kenny tilted his head away glancing towards the ground "I- I'm breaking up with you...." I took a deep breath then exhaled "I knew you'd say that" Kenny looks at me with surprise but I've already turned away from him. "You did?" "Well it's obvious or maybe that's just me? We haven't been talking for a week" I hold my hands together squeezing them tightly.
Kenny reaches out then drops his hand and looks away "Y/n it's not you it's just-" "Kenny you don't have to explain. Everyone's preference changes all the time." I'm just glad you didn't blow me off like the other girls... we stood in silence for a moment neither of us knowing what to say. "We're still going to be friends right?" I questioned "only if you want to" I nodded my head. "Okay... I'm going to go" I stated walking away "Y/n" I stop in my tracks but stay facing away from Kenny. "I'm sorry" "there's nothing to be sorry for" I left it as that and headed straight for class.
Surprisingly no one was there when I arrived except for the teacher. I sat down at my desk and looked out the window and let out a quiet sigh. Even though Kenny just broke up with me I found myself feeling at peace. If that's what he wants. Was what I kept telling myself but I couldn't stay contempt. I lay my arms on the desk and place my head in it the fabric becoming wet with tears. My heart was aching and I wasn't sure how to make it stop but just let myself cry silently.
After School~
Surprisingly I made it through the school day pretty well. Though I haven't seen Kenny at all and was slightly worried that he skipped out. Then again I probably shouldn't care right now. I pull my backpack from my locker after zipping up my coat. Stan then walks up to me "hey
Y/n" "hey dude. What's up?" "Nothing really just wanted to know if you want to come with us? We're going to see the 'Raisin Girls'" "thanks for asking but I promised myself I'd finish all my homework tonight so I don't have to do anything tomorrow." "Well you do have the whole weekend to do it..." Stan frowned, I shrugged in response "ya but it's better to get it over with. I'll come next time" Stan smiled "sure, well if you change your mind or if you finish early just text us" I give Stan a thumbs up with a smile "sounds good" "alright see ya" Stan nodded walking away.
The hallways were empty by the time I finished putting all my stuff together. Not that I was too bothered by it I wasn't in a rush to get home. I push open the school doors and step outside the cold air and snow slapping at my face. I groan as I step into the white sheet, it's coldness melting its way into my shoe "fucking piece of white shit" I hissed pulling my foot away now shaking it. "It's going to be a long afternoon" I mutter suddenly agitative, picking snow out from my shoe. Once I pull all the show out from shoe I continue to walk along the snowy paths. I took deep breaths and watched the cloud of mist when I exhaled. My younger self would've thought I was some freight train right about now. "Funny how our childishness fades away" I frown to myself stuffing my hands deeper into my pockets.
"Only if it could all end somehow."
I stop at the edge of the sidewalk watching cars pass by; waiting for the light to turn red so I can take my lead across the road. I felt somewhat depressed as I waited replaying everything that had happened today. I wanted to beat myself up out of anger for ever like Kenny. Now it will always be awkward when we hang around each other. What if this ruins my relationship with the others too? "Fuck, why didn't I think this through?" I muttered pressing my finger tips in between my eyebrows in frustration. "Fucking kill me" I hissed now smacking my head. Suddenly the light changed to red and I stepped out on to road looking both ways before I crossed. But as I came to the middle of walking through I heard a blare of honking. As I turned my head a car was sliding straight towards me. Instinctively I try to run out of harms way. But it was to late. The car hit me at full fledge speed and I was catapulted forwards into the stopped vehicle. I was still alive and in chronic pain. Though I thought I was just going to bleed out and die the car didn't stop and smashed right into me.
I died instantly. Crushed in between the two cars.
Oh well.
What could I have done? Sometimes it's better to accept things as they come.
~
Suddenly my eyes snap open. I was standing in a room of all white "where am I?" I muttered to myself. While looking around in confusion a door opens
"Y/n L/n." I turn myself in response and I was astonished to see a man dressed in a white robe, a golden halo floating above his head, white wings tucked behind him. "Who are you?" "Well, I'm an angel of course" he smiled opening and closing his wings slowly. The wind it created blew through his golden blonde hair I stared at him for a moment. "So, I'm dead huh? You know... when I said I wanted to die. I didn't mean it" the angel stood silently and shrugged. "Is this heaven?" I question relaxing my shoulders, the angel sighs. "It's best not to ask questions. I want you to remember as little as possible of this place" "what?"
Suddenly the angel holds out his hand towards me like some cliche movie where the boy asks the girl to go with them and they end up falling in love. "Y/n L/n the heavens need your help in this trying time. Will you take my hand?" I shrug back with disgust "you're not proposing to me are you?" "Of course not you idiot" I gasp clasping my hands over my mouth. "I thought angels weren't allowed to swear" "we aren't, most of us do anyways. Now let's go." Suddenly the angel takes his hand and grips it to my shoulder. The world flashes quickly and the scenery around me changes. We appear to be standing at a broken grate.
The bars were bent and pull apart I look over at the angel for an explanation. "He broke into the 'Gate of Peace'" "who did?" I asked, fear settling in my chest. Suddenly we stop in our tracks and the angel taps my cheek in the direction where I should look. I was shocked to see 'him' here. I stepped forward from the angel taking my hands and pressing them to the left side of my chest to feel heart beat quicken. My mouth dropped and the words begin to fall off my tongue.
"...Kenny?"