"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" we scream while Rachel turns on the lights as soon as the door opens.
Michel throws the confetti and I turn on the music.
"Uh... What?" A familiar voice says I look up from my phone to see Darren is standing at the doorway.
"Darren?!" Rachel sounds shocked to see him and so am I.
"Hey... what's with the confetti and... all that?" He looks around the room staring at the decorations we put up. I stare at him, his face, his body, his clothes, everything has changed. He looks so alien to me.
"It's Alex's birthday, we thought you were her. can you please go she should be here any second." I tell him.
"Are you guys ok?" Michel asks looking at me. What is he talking about? Darren and I?
"Michel, What are you talking about? We broke up. About 6 months ago." Closer to seven but who counts?
"Oh.." he looks guilty. "Sorry" he apologizes.
"Michel it's ok. you don't need to apologize. You had nothing to do this. I just want him to leave." I say now looking at Darren.
"Lili, come on." He says exhausted "Please let's just talk. Ok? Just talk to me." I stare at him thinking about a reply but before I can even think about it the words just slip out of my mouth.
"I have a boyfriend" I snap. My face turns red, and I look at the floor, ashamed. knowing damn well it was a mistake to say that aloud." Just please let it go. I do not want to talk to you. Alex needs to show up here any second now. Can you please leave?" I say finally lifting my face to his.
"What?" Everyone looks at me "who?" Darren's face turns white and he just stands at the doorway with his face frozen, looking like he is about to break into tears.
I look at Rachel, then at Maya and Ben. Maya is watching me with her eyes wide. Jeremy is just standing next to Michel watching me. What am I going to do?
My eyes wander around the room again and I know I'm about to cry. My head hurts as well as my nose. I know I'm about to burst into tears. I can feel it. Everyone looking at me, everything that happened with Shawn. Darren standing here. It's just too much. I can't take it.
Before the tears stream down, Michel's and I's eyes meet and an idea pops into my mind. Oh, I hope this will work. "Trust me" I whisper.
I walk over to him, looking into his eyes taking a deep breath before leaning in kissing Michel. Michel seems surprised at first but then he kisses me back.
I take a step back and Michel and I are just looking at each other. I wanted to kiss Michel for a really long time, never in my life, I imagined this will be the circumstance. I thought about it a lot. About how a kiss with Michel will feel like. I imagined sparks and fireworks, like I have whenever I kiss Shawn. But that's the point, It happens when I kiss Shawn. And with Michel, it felt like... nothing. And I don't know if I'm happy or disappointed.
"What the—" I jump at the sounds of the familiar voice and turn around looking at the door.. behind Darren I see an unhappy-looking Alex.
"Fuck" I take a deep breath walking closer to the door. "Alex. This is not what it looks like." Oh my god. How did everything get out of control so fast? We were supposed to have a nice afternoon, partying with music and drinks, until Darren came and ruined everything. She stares at me holding her tears in. oh fuck.
I feel like such a shitty friend. I just wanted to make her happy on her birthday after everything that happened we could all use a really chill night. Fuck this. she walks past me straight to the table with all the drinks taking a beer.
Alex hugs Rachel, Rachel doesn't look at me. Their whispering and before I even notice what's happening she runs to the bathroom. Rachel is fast after her. Could this night get any worse?
I turn over to look at Michel. Oh fuck. His face. Alex is mad. And not just at me. How could I be so stupid. "oh shit Michel... I'm so sorry" I really don't know what possessed me.
Michel is shocked. Confused. He also looks a bit anxious. Oh, what have I done? He says nothing. Without looking at me, he goes to the bathroom to check in on Alex.
I'm standing in the middle of the room filled with confetti on the floor and decorations all over and I feel so bad for all of this. Her birthday is ruined because of me.
"Are you really dating him?" Darren asks. I stare at him. I shake my head not knowing what to think anymore. I just want to... fuck I don't even know what I want.
"No," I say turning over to look at him. I can't believe I kissed Michel, and for what? Oh shit, does that mean I cheated on Shawn? Are we even dating? I should talk to him about this. about what we are. I need to know. This... thing between us... I just can't take it. I need to know what are we. If we aren't dating, then what is even the point?
"Why can't you just, give me another chance?" He asks desperately. Before I know it tears are streaming down my face.
"Darren. We dated. It didn't end well. And I have a boyfriend now. You have to let go" I tell him. I'm mentally tired and I really don't know what am I supposed to do now. Everything is falling apart.
For the first time since he came here a few minutes ago, Darren walks inside and walks closer to me. "Do you really want me to move on?" Darren asks.
"Yes, I do" I half-whisper as he gets even closer. My tears have stopped and my eyes are now only slightly watery. I move I take a step backward and I see from the corner of my eye Michel just looking at us.
My blood pumping and heartbeat rising. Fear and anger rising through me. "Can you please just go?" I say slowly and with a soft voice.
"I love you, Lili." He says. My heart aches. I can't take. My heart just can't take it. I start to heave and to breathe weightily.
"And I don't you," I say. He moves even closer and yet again I move backward...
I glance over to look at Michel, who is just watching us. Why isn't he saying something? Telling him to leave.
I suddenly slip on the confetti that is spilled all over the floor but before I hit the floor Darren catches me. I push him away standing up again.
"Look," Darren says leaning in. Is he trying to kiss me?!
"Darren stop," I shout.
He isn't listening to me. He takes my hands and holds them behind my back pressuring his face onto mine.
He isn't letting me go, I shut my eyes and my mouth wishing he would let me go. my hands hurt from his grip and tears are starting to well up in my eyes. I try to push him or move but his grips only tighten making me yelp.
After what feels forever I hear Michel's voice. "Get the fuck off her" I open my eyes seeing him running over and finally pushing Darren away from me freeing my hands.
"Are you ok?" He asks looking at me directly but I can't speak. I feel so humiliated.
"Let's go," he says taking my hand making me jump by his unexpected touch. He takes my hand pulling me out of the dorm.
After a few minutes we sit down on the grass next to a big tree and I just keep crying like a little baby.
"I'm really sorry," I say when the tears all dry up, finding the ability to speak again. "I do have a boyfriend. Sort of. look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you" I say. I try to hold my tears from coming again.
"It's fine." He says "I just don't get why you did that.." I exhale.
"Darren wanted proof that I'm seeing someone. And I couldn't tell him about my current... boyfriend. It's sort of a secret. I can't really tell anyone yet." I confess.
"You can't tell anyone what?" He asks confused
"Who I'm dating. He is also currently in a different country. So that's not going be a problem..." I hope.
"So you basically cheated on your boyfriend." He says. "twice" he adds. excuse me?
"Twice? Are you fucking kidding me?" I snap. "why didn't you do anything? I saw you watching us. Why didn't you stop him?" I ask. "you just stood there, watching him forcing himself at me. How could you just let him? and now blame me for cheating on Shaw.." I shake my head. "never mind. Thank you for saving me or whatever." I say getting up and walking back to the dorms.