Luke
I sat with Emily and tried to calm her down. It was definitely not working. All these thoughts that had bottled up for weeks were spilling out and it broke my heart.
She just wanted to be with her mum.
I took the bowl from her hand and put it down. Of course, she hadn't eaten it all which was concerning- I put less than I should've in there to begin with.
She never had a big appetite in the first place, so when it seemed to have shrunk I was worried. I didn't see her at hospital everyday, but the boys always told me how sick she looked.
I tightly held her hand, trying to get her to breathe slowly.
"Take your time,"
"Why does it even exist? Why could I fight it twice for ages but she couldn't even fight it once for a few months? What do I do without my mum in my life, it leaves no one," she cried, almost shouting. I turned her head to look at me and wiped her tears, hushing her.
"There's no chance she'll get better is there," she sighed. I wiped her tears again and rested my hand on her shoulder gently.
"You knew that hun though. I know your mum played a massive part in your life and I know your mum always seemed happy. She was broken too. You have us though. We want to help you figure out what you're feeling because having a few massive outbursts like this isn't good for you. Promise you'll talk to us more?" I asked.
She nodded and leant into me. Her breathing was shallow which made her whole body shudder with every breath.
"I don't know why you could fight it that well Emily,I know you're still trying to recover but- I don't know. None of us do. It's just a horrible thing and I know you don't deserve it. I'm so sorry... just, stay with me alright?"
She nodded and I took a deep breath, leaning back as she fiddled with the ring on my finger. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
Even through the silence, neither of us noticed the click of the front door, so when Ash came through we were snapped out of our daze.
"Hey you two, how are you?" he asked, smiling as he entered the house. He looked down at her bowl still full of soup then back up at me - I shook my head.
She avoided his eye contact and put her head against my arm while Calum and Michael came in. They walked past us and went upstairs, but Ashton sat next to me.
"Emily, can you look at me for a sec," he said quietly. I felt her move her head slightly, still holding my hand.
"I'm not mad at you. This is such a tough time for you and we can all see how anxious and upset you are. I'm concerned for you because you haven't eaten or slept... you've barely even been outside other than walking in the cold to the hospital," he explained. She groaned and looked away again.
Ashton looked defeated. I didn't blame him, she was being tough and stubborn.
But I didn't blame her either.
"What if, you go and have a nice warm shower, then wear one of my massive hoodies. One of us can dry your hair and then we will come downstairs to get you some food you want. You can go to sleep on the sofa or with one of us," Calum said. I wondered how long he'd been stood in the doorway.
She turned round and looked at him before nodding and letting go of my hand. He rested his hand on her back and led her upstairs.
"Did she say anything to you?" Ashton sighed, running his hand through his hair then clenching his fists slightly.
"She was just really angry and upset... we don't understand what she is going through though. Not fully," I explained.
Michael came in, quickly followed by Calum. They both sat down and everyone went to speak at once.
"I'm worried,"
"What do we do?"
"She needs a distraction,"
"This is dangerous,"
Everyone paused.
"Guys. It hasn't even been a year since she's been cancer free, this is not ideal to say the least," Michael spoke.
I nodded and lifted my leg up onto the sofa. What could we do to help? Clearly it was serious but even small things could impact her. Petunia was always the one who made me happy- maybe it could be the same.
"Is she allergic to dogs?" I asked.
Ashton looked at me like I'd come from another planet.
"Luke we don't need to think about dogs right now,"
"You always need to think about dogs Ash. Anyway, Luke that's a great idea. We were gonna pick them up tomorrow now that we've got no nightshifts," Calum agreed.
"Only for a day, at least for now," Ash grumbled.
"I hope she likes dogs... shall we ask?" Michael suggested.
"Nah, lets make it a surprise,"