"Why did you ask me out?" I ask. wanting to know why me. why not any other girl?
"I don't know.," he says confused by my question. he smiles his shy smile and I can't resist and I return him a shy smile of my own. "I thought it will be nice to hang out with you," he says. I stare at him, a bit confused by his answer. and before I could say something he asked me a question.
"Why did you agree?" Agree to what? To go out with him? "I don't know.," I tell him honestly. I guess he just seemed really cute, he has a really great voice that throughout the show made me smile and relax a bit.. and I obviously can't ignore the fact that he is probably the most handsome person I have ever seen in my life. Ok and maybe a little bit because he was THE Shawn Mendes and I wanted to understand what all the fuss was about.
"You don't know?" He asks, surprised.
I stared at him, quickly swallowing the lump in my throat and he smirks at me as if he was expecting a different answer from me "I mean, you seemed nice, and on stage you were amazing, you completely blew my mind away, you are so talented it's crazy... I guess I just wanted to get to know you because I feel like my friends know you, and I don't, and when you asked me out, it felt right." I tell him with complete honesty
"Wow.." He says licking his lower lip making me stare at it. I'm still trying to figure out what 'wow' is supposed to mean when the waiter comes back to our table with 2 glasses of wine and 2 bottles of wine. my face falls. They look so expensive.
The waiter pours me some of the fancy expensive white wine first, and then to Shawn.
"Thank you" I smile kindly. The waiter smiles back puts the bottle of wine he just poured on the table and walks away.
"This place is really nice" I look around at the restaurant, I feel a little out of place. This place looks kind of expensive. A little out of my budget... I'm not sure I can afford any of the things on the menu. I really hope my card won't do me any tricks and won't work. he can't know I'm practically broke.
As my focus returns to Shawn, I see him staring at me, but he isn't saying a word.his lower lip between his teeth making me gulp, he is so handsome it makes me a little uncomfortable.
"Ok this feels a bit weird.." he finally says noticing I'm a little intimidated by him. "Just, try to relax... and tell me a little about yourself," he says trying to make the conversation flowing.
"Ok," I breathe out "So as you probably know my name is Lili " I smile at him and he smiles slightly laughing throwing his head back and moving his hair from his face when his gaze returns to me "you're so cute" he giggles. My cheeks redden at his compliment and I bite my lip as an attempt to stop me from smiling.
Shawn is looking at me with his beautiful hazel eyes.. who's now sparkling and shining with the dim lighting, I can just stare at his eyes for hours.
I shake my head and I snap out of it. I swallow the lump in my throat once again. "So ugh... I'm in college right now, and I have 2 roommates. Alex and Rachel. Who btw adore you. I mean they are obsessed.." iI stop talking. Am I making things weird now? I should just shut up.
"Wow really?" he smirks at me "did you go with your friends?"
"I did"
"So how come you didn't even recognize me at MY OWN concert?" He says all arrogant... I smile at him trying hard not to laugh feeling suddenly overwhelmed and shy. "I don't know.."
The food came, Shawn ordered us both the seafood risotto and as a side dish a zucchini salad, I continued telling him about myself as we devoured our meals, hoping I won't need to pay for our meals. We talked and laughed. we ate and we drank our wine, Shawn not so much, less than a cup; he was driving, but that didn't I hadn't enjoyed the wine.
We are now on the way back to my dorm. I feel sad this night is over. it started a bit weird and shy but it ended up really nice and now I understand what the fuss about him is, I can now, after dinner with him, tell you guys; Shawn Mendes is amazing. I had such a good time. We just talked and we had fun.
He told me about his family, about his sister, his parents, about his life in Canada, who knew he was Canadian? I had no idea. He told me stories about how he got famous, but until he mentioned that I completely forgot about it. I forgot about him being a superstar. He told me it all started on YouTube and Vine, I don't even know what Vine is. He said that the app is long gone so if I didn't know what it was, I probably wouldn't hear about it anymore. he told me about his life in L.A. and New York and how he travels so much and how he loves to perform...
I told him about my dad, my brother, my friends a little about college, I didn't much to tell him I hadn't many things in my life...
"Ok, you can stop right... here" I told him as we came close to the end of the parking lot. I inhaled, looking at him as the car comes to a stop.
"Ok.." he stares at me, and I know that if I won't get out of the car now, I probably never will...so I walk out. He walks out too. I stare at him walking up towards me, I feel my cheeks redden with embedment, Did he want to open the door for me again? That was sweet, but I could handle it myself. I smiled.
"What are you doing? I'm already out of the car" I stare at him as he stands oh-so-close to me making me walk back a bit until I can no longer and I bump into his car behind me and he's right in front of my face "someone might see you." I say pursing my lips as my gaze falls to his lips. realization hit me as I say the words aloud, He is famous, what if someone sees us talking? I exhale and my gaze falls to the floor.
we will probably never hang out again, hoe could I be so naive and forget he is famous. All night alone he told me about how much he travels and that his family is in Canada. even if he will stay here a couple more days, I'm just fooling myself. this will never happen.
He lifts my head with his hand until our gazes meet and he stares at me for a few moments just smirking, letting me stand there trying to find out his game, what if someone sees him? What will he do? everyone at school will talk about it. This will be all over the news and- "You really thought I'll let you go with a goodbye kiss?" He says interrupting my thoughts, Wait- did he just- I suddenly feel weak, did he just say what I think he just said? Or was it just me thinking that? I felt a whisper of happiness, Oh this is so cheesy.. but I love it. my cheeks redden once again and I turn my head the other way so he can't see how much effect he has on me.
With 2 fingers he pulls my head back to look at him and looking me in the eyes, letting us stay like that for a moment before his hand slowly, too slowly for my liking, strokes my cheek, I'm lost in his eyes, moving my face towards his palm as he leans in, slowly torturing me, I could feel the warmth of his body pressing against my own as finally, his lips hit mine, he kissed me like no boy ever kissed me before, soft and moist, hot and breathy, the heat rose in my cheeks as his tongue slid in my mouth, I gripped his head firmly with both hands, pulling his hair, holding him tight not wanting to let this moment ever go. I felt his smile against my face, as he continued to kiss me. He broke our kiss needing air, both of us are breathless, staring at each other. I stare at him, and my eyes slowly wander to his lips, slightly swollen from our kiss.
"You are so gorgeous.." he says biting his lip. My face falls down the floor and into his chest, as I pull him as close as I can, he hugs me back. I hold him tight. My emotions are overwhelming me, how can I feel this close to a guy that yesterday was a complete stranger? I move my head, looking up, so I could see his face, he looks down at me his eyes sparkling with desire, he can feel it too.
No. Maybe the attraction is there, but we clearly are done for the night, we will probably never see each other again. A pang of sadness swells in my chest and all I want to do is kiss him again. Be lost in him, nothing felt more right, than kissing him at this moment.
I can't help myself and I a step on my tippy toes, trying to reach him, he is so high... but I love that. And my lips are on his, I'm kissing him, I made the move, He leans in, kissing me back, but this time the kiss is much softer, our lips barely brushing, just teasing one another. I throw my hand around his head once again, deepening the kiss not able to resist him. He follows my lead, kissing me hungrily, he worked his mouth against mine, our tongues battling back and forth like wrestles, each trying to pin the other.
I surprise myself and I pull back. Searching for air, as I'm once again out of breath. I know that if I will kiss him any longer I wouldn't be able to resist myself, asking him to come over and I can't let that happen. I have roommates, and it just can't happen. I can't go to bed with him. I will end up hurt at the end, letting myself get vulnerable and intimate with him... no.
"Why did you stop?" He looks at me with worried eyes that scream desire, his hands on my waist pulling me a bit closer so my chest is smashed against his. "Did I do something?" He asks. I put my hands in front of my face, shaking it. I can't bear to watch him. "Oh god no. No-no-no. I just.." I take a deep breath. "Thank you for tonight." I move my hands and I make an effort and look him in the eyes. "I had such a good time. And I wish it could've been longer but I think I should get going" he is speechless I can tell by the way he is staring at me. "Ok," I bite my lip, not wanting to actually go but I know that's the only choice I have, I push him a bit aside from me and I start to walk towards my room, but before I can actually get going I notice he's holding my hand, and I can't hide my smile as he pushes my hand back to him and with a swirl, I fly right against his chest, back to where I was just seconds ago. He stares at me, smashing his lips onto mine, kisses me again.
Way too soon, he lets me go. "Goodnight," He says taking a few steps backward and walking back into his car.
I start walking, and I shake my head. "No," I say out loud. Fuck this. I turn around, walking into his car. This night isn't over yet.