It had been a few days since Chester and Ryan had met and Mike had noticed an improvement in the blonde's mood. Since then, he had been less jumpy and more trusting of Mike, which was a good sign and it gave the deliverer a chance to finally try and dig something out of Chester's past.
He was determined to at least press a little so he could understand a bit of why Chester was the way he was. Of course, he wouldn't insist too much, he didn't want the blonde to draw away from him and go back to square one.
With a deep breath, he gave his three usual knocks on Chester's door and waited only a few seconds until the blonde opened the door, wider than he ever had before, showing his entire body and not only his head like all the other times.
"Hey!" Chester's smile was bright as he greeted Mike, who smiled at the sight of him, his heart beating fast.
He thought about telling him that he should definitely be smiling more, but he was afraid that the blonde man would take it as an insult. Instead, he leaned the cup toward Chester gently.
"How are you today?"
"I'm great actually. I was able to finish translating a book that I've been working on for weeks."
"Wow, that's great."
The other man nodded before he swallowed his pill, opening his mouth so Mike could see that it wasn't still in his mouth.
"Have you... seen Ryan since we went to his place?"
Chester's eyes widened at the mention of Ryan's name and Mike froze for an instant. Shit, maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the other man at all... He was pretty curious, but if it meant that the blonde man would stop being so joyful, it wasn't worth it.
"No, I ... We talked on the phone once, b-but that's... about it."
"Oh, okay. You look like you'd want to see him again."
The blonde man lowered his head as a faint blush appeared on his cheeks and Mike felt his stomach twisted in knots, before he frowned. The half Asian had no reason to be reacting this way.
"You were pretty close to Ryan before, right?" He tried, hoping that Chester wouldn't be offended to talk back to when he was at the clinic.
"Y-yes... he..." he blushed even harder, his face completely red. "He was my only friend." He finished, gulping. Mike couldn't help but wonder why he had been so nervous to say the word 'friend'. Did they have an affair?, Mike thought, his stomach turning once again. It's not your damn business, Michael! Get your shit together.
"Oh, that's nice." The deliverer forced a smile, cursing himself mentally for being so affected by Ryan and Chester's relationship. He felt like an outsider. "When did you two meet?" he asked casually, trying not to seem nosy as he leaned against the doorway, Chester taking a step back and scratching his head.
"When I got into the clinic he was already there and we just... got along. He was the only one who tried to talk to me. We were pretty young, thirteen and sixteen." Chester crossed his arms over his chest as if he was hugging himself, a small smile in his lips as he let the memories fly through his mind.
"You were so young... what happened?" Mike said before he could contain himself and regretted the second the words left his mouth as the blonde's face fell. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be intrusive. You don't have to answer." The half Asian quickly added, waving his hands frantically around, making Chester chuckle lightly, the sound making his heart flutter.
"I... just hate talking about it. I'm sorry..." He said stepping back again. "I... think I better get to work... we'll talk more tomorrow, Mike. Thanks again for everything." He closed the door before Mike could react and soon the money was slipped under the door.
"Fuck." Mike mumbled under his breath, rubbing a hand over his face and tidying his cap before grabbing the money and walking away. His head was spinning as he thought he might have ruined his whole relationship with his costumer.
"Way to go, Mike, I really need to keep my mouth shut." He muttered to himself as he got on his bike.
Right now, he really wished that he could get out of work. He still had to do deliveries all day and then he had school... but his mind was buzzing with all the information he had learned the past few days, and he wanted to know more.
No. He needed to stop. It wasn't his right to nose in Chester's past.
When the young man would be ready, he'd surely tell him. As he started the engine, he thought back to how Chester had referred to Ryan. The half Asian was certain that they had been more than friends. After all, the blonde man seemed so affected by the fact that he could see the brunette once again...
He stopped his bike at the red light before he closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing thoughts while wind blew slowly on his face and in his hair. He had taken his blue snapback cap for the ride since he was too afraid that it would fall off, and for a while, he forgot everything, except the joy it brought him to see Chester everyday...
The honk of a car behind him got him out of his reveries as he realized the light had turned green, and he turn on the left street, toward his third delivery of the day.
He already knew the day would seem to never end.
*
Meanwhile, Chester was sitting in his bathtub, taking his time to relax and hopefully wash away all of the bad memories of his past. He let his thoughts travel to earlier that day, to his conversation with Mike. He blushed and covered his face with his hands, even though there was nobody there to see his crimson red cheeks.
He had no idea why he was blushing so much at the thought of the half Asian. Maybe it was the fact that he had talked about Ryan to someone else and that had been awfully embarrassing. He wasn't ashamed of his and Ryan's relationship, far from that, but it was all in the past.
After meeting with the brunette again, Chester had had his closure. He finally accepted that what they had was indeed special, but gone. They could definitely rebuild their friendship, but not a romantic relationship. With all those years apart, Chester didn't feel the same as before. Of course he still loved Ryan, he would never stop loving him, but their romantic feelings got lost in the past. They'd forever be marked in both of their histories, but only there.
The blonde wondered if Mike had thought he and Ryan were boyfriends or something. He could definitely tell that something was bothering the deliverer, it was obvious by the look in his face, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly.
It could be the fact that Chester hadn't told him a thing about his past, but he had to understand that the thing Chester hated the most was his past. Or it could be because of Ryan, but he was the one who had offered to arrange a meeting for them and had even taken Chester there himself.
His thoughts lingered toward the delivery man, as he wondered how someone so kind could actually exist. A part of him was still frightened that the half Asian would hurt him one day, and he found himself saddened by the fact that he still couldn't trust him. The young man knew that it would take him some time to be friends with someone else, but he wished he could go beyond all the hardship that was tormenting his head.
As he got out of the tub, he dried his hair and himself before he let out a sigh. He needed to distract himself. Thinking about Mike wouldn't get him anywhere today, and since he had spent the last couple of days being actually happy, he didn't want to throw it all away by overthinking again.
After he got dressed, he went to make more coffee before he sat down on the sofa, a cup of the steaming heavenly beverage between his hands. He closed his eyes as he sniffed the delicious aroma before he took a sip, almost moaning in delight.
Deposing the cup on his coffee table, he opened his TV and tried to find something to watch, when he stopped on the same TV show as before. Rich high school kids wandered on the screen, as a blonde girl laughed at something...
And the couple next to her kissed. Something deep inside Chester seemed to stir, as for a second, he thought back to Mike... and his soft-looking lips... How they would feel like pressed against his own. He felt like the half Asian would taste sweetly, as his thoughts began to mix what he was seeing on the screen and what he was imagining...
Mike holding him close, caressing his tongue on the blonde man's lips-
A gasp of surprise left Chester's throat as his cheeks reddened as he realized what he was doing.
He shook his head vehemently and inhaled a sharp breath. What the hell was he thinking? That was not a good sign. The last time he had seen that show he had remembered Ryan, but now he was thinking of Mike? Was he in love with the half Asian? No, it definitely couldn't be it. He was just confusing things because Mike had been nothing but an angel to him. He had been so kind and attentive. He had even arranged a meeting for him and Ryan.
Chester turned the TV off and got up, taking his coffee with him as he went to sit at his table. He opened his book and continued to read from the point he had stopped last night. Reading should distract his thoughts from Mike.
He started to flip page after page until he got to a part where the main character kissed his lover. It was a re-encounter kiss and so, so heated. Chester found himself gulping and licking his lips as he approximated his face from the book, reading word after word until Mike popped in his mind again.
His hot mouth pressed against the sensitive skin of his neck, sucking and nibbling on his collarbone, kissing his chest and then his mouth again, shoving his tongue into the blonde's mouth and holding his hips, pulling him closer and closer until he was groping him.
Chester moaned out as he turned back to reality. He hadn't even noticed that he had led his hand to his groin and was rubbing his now half hard member over his clothes. He blushed to himself, ashamed of his acts. How did this happen? Why did everything just seem to remind him of Mike today?
He groaned and got up, gripping his hair. He didn't want to feel like this. He didn't want to do those dirty things. Mike would just hurt him like everybody else did. Even Ryan did. He felt tears prickling his eyes and he hit the side of his head with his fist as he groaned through clenched teeth. He wanted to just stop his thoughts.
He looked back around his small apartment, trying to find a distraction, but for some stupid reason, everything was reminding him of the half Asian. The time he had come into the bathroom to give him his pills, the fact that there was still money out on his coffee table to give to the deliverer the next morning, his fucking plaid shirt that was hanging on one of his kitchen chair which reminded him so much of Mike because he was often wearing one.
This was too much. He needed to get out, to escape his thoughts-
The only solution his brain found was to grab his keys, put on his shoes, and quickly get out of his place. He almost ran out of the small corridor leading to the stairs, before he finally pushed the door opened and ran outside. The blonde man took a huge gulp of air, as he felt it fill his lung, and he felt like for the first time since forever, he could finally breathe. He closed his eyes as he breathed deeply, and suddenly, he felt okay.
The blonde man opened his eyes before he looked around, and to his surprise, the street before him looked quiet. The park on the other side of the road was filled with a few people playing with their kids or their dogs, some others were walking.... A girl on a bicycle crossed the street, and the sun was shining brightly in the blue sky. A swift breeze was making the branches of the trees sway slowly...
So this was what it was like to feel at peace?
His eyes widened as he took in his surrounding, and suddenly, a shift happened in his mind.
Outside. He was outside.
"No, no, no, no, no-" He whispered under his breath as panic started to course through his veins.
His breathing became once again erratic as he fumbled with his keys, trying to find the right one to open the front door of the building.
Shit, he couldn't remember which one it was, he never used it. His eyesight blurred as his breathing became short and jerky while his hands started to shake. He looked around him once more, trying to find help.
Chester needed to get inside. Now.
His brain was screaming at him that he was in danger. He felt nausea hit him as the pavement under his feet seemed to sway to the right.
Help. Help. Help. He needed help. He needed-
"Chester?"
The blonde man lifted his head as his eyes glanced upon Mike, who was looking at him strangely.
"M-mike, help-"
His voice was faint as he felt his feet give up under him, his eyes rolled in the back of his head while everything turned to black.
The last thing he was aware of was Mike screaming his name.