Kim Taehyung knocked his shoes as he stood up in the queue line to enter Seoul Station. He sighed, couldn't appreciate this unfriendly weather. His shirt even started to get sticky but he loved his blazer too much to take it off.
A man who currently got the chance to tap his entrance card seemed to be too rush, gaining Taehyung's attention. From behind, Taehyung could see how broad his shoulders. His blond hair was shining and soft, reminding Taehyung of silk. When that man took his card back, Taehyung could see his side profile. And his heart completely stopped beating.
His gaze followed the blond without blinking. That man, once again, was too rushed when he put his card back to his wallet and put the wallet inside his backpack. He didn't realise it fell. The blond walked fast, didn't even look back again.
A woman behind the blond took the wallet, buf before she could do something, Taehyung shouted in urgent tone,"Excuse me. Can I have that? I know the owner."
As Taehyung saw the hesitant on her eyes, he added,"Kim Seokjin, yes. His name is Kim Seokjin." His heart beat faster. He could even hear how his voice cracked. Was that right? Was that indeed Kim Seokjin? His Seokjin?
That woman opened the ocean blue wallet she was holding then stared Taehyung. She smiled and proceed to hand him the wallet. "You're right. Don't forget to give it to him."
Taehyung gaped. He opened his hand, received the wallet with trembling hands and tears threaten to fall.
"Thank you," whispered Taehyung. The woman didn't realise there's something more than just about the wallet.
Taehyung put Seokjin's wallet into his backpack cautiously then made his way into restroom. His tears started to prick his eyes. His vission got blurry. His lips trembling. Just right before he sobbed, he flied away into restroom. He took a deep breath, filling his lung as much as possible.
"I found him." Taehyung whispered to himself. His tears had no sign to stop pouring, but his lips curved a smile that reached his eyes. "I found him."
He ruffled his brown hair then splashed water to his face, making sure there will be no tears trace all over his face. He reached paper towel, drying his face then proceeded to walk out the restroom.
When he combed out the station to look for Seokjin, the brown suddenly started thinking what if Seokjin forgot him? Their last meeting was ... 16 years ago?
And by that he stopped walking. Taehyung gulped, feeling completely not ready of that possibility. However, he never forgot about Seokjin, not even a second. He didn't ever pass his day without thinking how Seokjin had grown and lived.
The brown bit his lip, deciding to walk again. Over every seats available, Taehyung made sure to find someone who has broad shoulders with marvelous blond hair.
In the middle of this busy station and blazing wheather, Taehyung narrowed his eyes, watching someone profoundly, someone who's looked like Seokjin, sitting alone at the end of the station. Taehyung tiptoed foward to get clearer sight. His heart started to beat so fast when he realised it's indeed Seokjin.
Taehyung took a deep breath and paced closer.
"Kim Seokjin-ssi?" Taehyung succeed in calling that name again after what it felt like forever. He blinked in disbelief. His lips curved a smile nonchalantly.
Seokjin turned, tilting his head to see Taehyung, and the brown gasped. His features were beyond perfect. His eyes were still the same, full of probity and dont-want-to-be-noticable feelings. His nose was pointed thoroughly. And Taehyung won't miss his beautiful lips which still look pinkish and plumpy, occasionally agape without him realising. Seokjin brushed his bangs lightly, looked like annoyed by his soaking wet hair, but in Taehyung's eyes, he's still perfect.
Taehyung almost cracked a smile realising what Seokjin wore. A t-shirt in baby blue with huge Super Mario printed right in the center and Taehyung could guess Seokjin's shirt was at least two above his actual shirt number. As usual, Taehyung thought, he didn't wanna be noticable. And wow, the brown should held himself not to stare at Seokjin's exposed legs too much since Seokjin wore a casual short pants.
"Do I know you?" Seokjin's reply got Taehyung's attention.
Seokjin seemed unamused, but Taehyung knew Seokjin was never good dealing with bad wheather, that's why, he smiled. Whilst Seokjin's mouth agaped right after he smiled, Taehyung couldn't stop wondering did Seokjin still adore his smile? Did Seokjin recognize his face?
The blond won't realise it, but Taehyung smiled in understanding. If Seokjin didn't remember him, Taehyung would try to accept that. But he would do everything to make him remember. There was nothing close like giving up now. Not after years Taehyung spent to find Seokjin.
Taehyung eyes Seokjin's hair. It's a astonishing match for his angelic face. In short, Seokjin's appearance made him could barely breath. Even if Seokjin replied him,"No, I'm not Seokjin, I'm an angel sent from heaven," he would truly believe that.
"I think you look for this?" Cautiously, Taehyung took Seokjin's wallet from his backpack.
Taehyung swore he was never this happy to see how someone's expression changed. Seokjin's eyes went wide, his lips curved the most beautiful smile he had ever witnessed, and his eyes creased.
"Whoa, my wallet!" Seokjin howled in realief. Taehyung almost flinched when Seokjin pressed his palm onto his shoulder and saying,"Thank you so much!"
Taehyung smiled slyly. This is that time. He cleared his throat, ruffling his hair lightly. He then extended his hand, feeling nervous and excited. "Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."
The brown waited for a change in Seokjin's face. But Seokjin smiled politely instead, reaching Taehyung's hand and uttered,"Kim Seokjin. But call me Jin, please."
Taehyung held his breath and he could hear his heart cracked. This was not something he had imagined. Seokjin wasn't only forgot about his name, but also himself. Seokjin would never ask him to call him 'Jin', not unless he completely forgot Taehyung.
"You okay?" Seokjin sounded genuinely concerned. Taehyung stared at his cold hand, pulling it back with heavy heart.
"I got nervous easily." Technically, Taehyung wasn't lying. He was indeed nervous since he tought how he could approach Seokjin. But obviously his nervousness wasn't something triggered coldness in his hand. That's why, Taehyung added vigorously,"have a trip by train is one of them," with a trembling lips.
The brown looked down, something wasn't right here but Taehyung couldn't pinpoint what. He then proceed to watch Seokjin's face. The blond seemed like wondering something, and Taehyung couldn't help to want to know what's on his mind right now. Even after years ─more than 10 years!─ Taehyung could easily recognise him. So what was it? Why Seokjin's eyes flashed in unawareness, lost and innocent? Suddenly the brown hoped that this was another Seokjin, that this man was indeed a stranger, or─
"You didn't answer my question."
Taehyung let out a forced snicker that sounded so unsincere even for his ears. "I am good. I mean, I should adjust myself."
Seokjin nodded in understanding and went quite. Couldn't help to be dissapointed, Taehyung reminded himself that perhaps, perhaps he would've gone more dissapointed if Seokjin asked him more, entirely treating him like a stranger.
Taehyung set his eyes across the station. Tears started to lump up inside his throat, hurting him more than necessary. He should built a plan. He couldn't go without Seokjin. He almost killed himself for waiting for Seokjin to come back home. He truly almost did.
That's all right. Taehyung choked back all the bitterness. He was convinced to do everything to make Seokjin remember him. He took a glance over his watch and gasped. He would go in less than 20 minutes.
The brown stared Seokjin with longing and agony and he couldn't help to wonder how to get into Seokjin's embrace. But the brown decided to play it safe by saying,"Woah, you're really handsome and beautiful."
Seokjin rolled his eyes but Taehyung could see his blush creeped onto his cheeks. Taehyung gazed the blond in awe when he started to laugh dryly, clearly in attempt to hide his shyness. Ah, the brown thought, he's still the same Seokjin.
Taehyung adored how Seokjin blushed but he couldn't believe Seokjin still underestimated himself. He wanted to tell the older how perfect he was no matter what. He wanted to shower him with compliments and love he deserved, but again, who exactly he was in Seokjin's memory?
"With these sweaty hair and body, and dull face?" asked Seokjin, pointing out his own face.
Taehyung shrugged, fully aware but didn't care at all. "I think they are not enough to make me think otherwise."
The brown paid attention on how Seokjin squeezed his hands. Seokjin blinked slowly, and Taehyung felt pang inside his chest when he realised Seokjin was showing discomfort. He had known Seokjin was never good receiving compliments, but it still hurt despite of how gorgeous the older was.
"Well, tell me, how could you have my wallet?"
It was a crystal clear that Seokjin wanted to drop the topic, and Taehyung sighed. He fanned himself, frowning when a bead of sweat rolled down over his temple. He replied without looking at Seokjin,"It fell at the entrance and apparently you were in hurry so I couldn't call you."
Taehyung wasn't ready when he turned and found Seokjin was handing him a mini fan. He frowned, couldn't see where was this affection coming from. But he decided to smile and took it. At least, Seokjin was still as warm as he remembered.
"You didn't give it to the security? You looked for me instead." The younger could hear curiousity in Seokjin's voice. He held his breath, nervous. Then he closed his eyes, pretended to relish the wind.
"I love meeting new people." Taehyung opened his eyes and mentally rolled his eyes. He's never good at lying.
There's a glint of dissaproval as Seokjin frowned. The older murmured with pouty lips, "But there were thousand possibilities that you couldn't─"
The younger thought it will be fun to play around with his Seokjin. He couldn't hide his amusement as he cut Seokjin's sentences. The blond showed exaggerated reaction, and Taehyung felt an odd protectiveness over this moment.
Inside his deepest memories, Seokjin was so shy to meet new people. The older needed time to accept Taehyung back then but later they were inseparable, and Taehyung convinced Seokjin was the brightest person he ever met.
"Where do you go?" Taehyung asked, held his laugh as Seokjin started to show annoyance.
The blond catched that sign of attempt to change the topic. He rolled his eyes as he turned away from Taehyung, but the younger didn't miss it. He flashed a grin.
Seokjin cleared his throat and answered,"Daejeon. And yours is?"
"Busan." Taehyung felt his stomach twitched. He eyed schedule board and he swore he could feel his blood depleted from his face. He added dryly,"So, you are going to depart at 9.15?"
The brown clenched his fist. His tears started to form at the corner of his eyes. He was looking down, breathing heavily as Seokjin replied in dreamy tone,"Right. And you'll go at 8.45? Fifteen minutes from now."
The younger gulped. He fidgetted his fingers unconsiously. He couldn't waste fifteen minutes he had without doing anything. He wanted Seokjin remember him so bad he wanted to die. He wanted Seokjin called him 'Tae', he wanted him to hug him and saying sorry to leave him. He wanted Seokjin to go to Busan with him. God, even he wanted to kiss Seokjin and told him he ever thought he better die after losing him.
But the brown choked back all his thought and said,"I don't like going to Busan." Taehyung bit his lip and added silently,"I don't like going to Busan without you."
The younger didn't realise Seokjin took his phone until watching how Seokjin smiled so wide as he read something over his phone. And once again, Taehyung felt his heart cracked. He had to add this to his wish-list; being the reason to make Seokjin smile so wide.
"So you are from Seoul?" Seokjin questioned with his eyes fixed at his phone.
"No, actually. It's otherwise. I'm from Busan." Taehyung couldn't hold himself to turn but regret it immediately as Seokjin was still smiling sweetly.
"I couldn't hear Busan accent at all," the older mumbled. He tilted his head, looking at Taehyung right in the eyes.
The younger felt his cheeks heating, but he managed to answer with soft smile plastered on his lips,"I moved to Seoul since high school." Taehyung looked up, wishing there's a hint of epiphany in Seokjin's eyes. But those doe eyes were still innocent, blinked and waited for the brown to continue his story. Taehyung brushed his bangs, trying his best to hide his dissapointment and added,"to find someone."
Taehyung took a deep breath. He didn't want to have breakdown here. He could do better. But the feeling of being this close to Seokjin yet so far to reach him was slowly killing him.
"You can tell me if you want."
The younger could hear sympathy in Seokjin's voice and it calmed him in the best way possible. Taehyung shifted, got himself ready to tell Seokjin and again, hoping there would be prodigy.
"He was my first love." The brown stared Seokjin. Panic attack stormed in Taehyung's mind as Seokjin frowned and he wished he could slap himself. What if the older positively forgot him and judged him for liking a man? Taehyung's voice rose an octave as he corrected it in terror,"Well, it's not exactly love since I was so young but you know what I mean."
The older's mouth agaped, he brushed his nose and Taehyung could see he was a bit shocked but it faded gradually. Taehyung breathed.
"I can't really remember our memories, but, he's the love of my life, until now. Nothing changed. Not even when he dissapeared for years." Seokjin seemed puzzle, he then tilted his head, watching Taehyung in silence. "My parents told me he moved to another city with his family, but they didn't know the details either. It hurted me so much since he didn't tell me anything. I couldn't remember what exactly he was saying, of course, but I was convinced it was not farewell. I was wrong. He left me."
Taehyung suddenly went mad. He wanted to show it, screaming at Seokjin for forgetting him and let him wait. He wanted to call himself idiot and pathetic, hoping Seokjin would remember him, even dare to wish Seokjin would've loved him as much as he did. He wanted to blame fate, if it's real, which have made him live without Seokjin, the only one he could love. No one else ever again. He tried. He did. But it only took 5 seconds for Taehyung to fall in love over again with Seokjin, meanwhile the love of his life was still staring at him the way stranger would do. And that fact hit him like a truck.
The brown bit his lip, shallowed back his anger and agony. "He was my neighbor since I was born. Could you imagine? I─" Taehyung choked his tears. He took a deep breath and then felt someone moved closer. Taehyung froze as he felt the urge to hug Seokjin. But he succeed ignoring that and continued his story, couldn't lie to himself that he desperately wanted the older to remember him. "When it was my time to enroll to high school, I decided Seoul was the best place. I mean, Seoul indeed the best place to move, right?"
"You move here to find him?"
That's sceptical tone, not the judmental one, and Taehyung wondered how can he proceed to chuckle.
"Yeah, I was too naive."
Seokjin nodded in understanding. "And then?"
"I never find him." Even it sounded bitter for his own ears. As he turned his head, he felt an arm embraced his shoulder. Taehyung froze. Never in his life he wanted to turn his head so badly. But he's too afraid Seokjin would stop.
So Taehyung waited. But Seokjin's arm was still there as if it was supposed to be. The brown wanted more. He wouldn't get enough, but he thought he should stopped. He should think something more.
The younger turned, looking directly to Seokjin's soft hair and,"your hair color is amazing." He ran his fingers through that soft, gleaming hair, and regretted it almost immediately since it made him want to hug Seokjin even more.
But even when Taehyung was that close to lose his sanity, he still found Seokjin's opened-wide eyes amusing. Seokjin took his arm back and moved as far as he could. Taehyung giggled, feeling better as Seokjin treated him a little more than just stranger.
The younger wanted to tease Seokjin more, but he gasped in silence, realising his train would come in less than 5 minutes. He couldn't leave without Seokjin. He couldn't even imagine himself leaving the older behind. It's too unrealistic. He would never.
So he planned something.
"I think I need to go to restroom."
Seokjin looked up in a flash, mouth opened and frowned. "I am 100% convinced you would be missing your train."
Taehyung jumped up and held his smile. Seokjin didn't know that's exactly what he wanted. He shrugged and tried his best to say in the most normal tone, "I'd rather take another train than having pee stone."
"But─"
The brown left no space for Seokjin to protest. "Please take care of my backpack."
"─I mean"
Taehyung wasted no time to walk fast to the hallway, not a restroom, which was actually not his destination. Grinning, he imagined how upset Seokjin was.
He looked for something both of them could drink. He watched coffee & tea shop and smiled to himself. That would be perfect. But for now, he rushed to ticket counter which thankfully had no queue.
Panting, Taehyung said,"I want one ticket to Busan, please?"
"Which time do you want?" A middle-aged man asked Taehyung from behind a thin glass.
Taehyung smiled, showing his perfect boxy smile thinking it would be so nice to be in the same train as Seokjin. Daejeon and Busan are in the same line, it should be possible. Taehyung could make it. They could be together in the train. He could make up an excuse later, he didn't really care.
"For 9.15, please?"
That man nudged his glasses atop his nose. "Uhm, I'm sorry, Sir. It's all sold out."
Taehyung's smile faded into a thin line. The man behind the counter catched that and couldn't help to feel bad.
"How about 9.35 AM, sir? It's the closest KTX ticket available."
Taehyung stared his wallet with zero interest then nodded,"One, please. Thank you so much."
The brown left the counter with a heavy heart. But when he just wondered when will his train arrived, he heard a long-horn coming from the railway and it made him smile. He spent time more than necessary in coffee shop, waiting for his train to leave, and he thought about Seokjin as the bartender made his orders. No, he definitely couldn't stand losing Seokjin again. He could kidnap Seokjin, maybe begged him to come with him. Or, Taehyung could offer himself to go to Daejeon instead, he would make an excuse no matter what. But then the bartender snapped his thought, smiling as he handed his orders.
Taehyung thanked the bartender and proceeded to get back to Seokjin. He brought the two cups all along, didn't pay attention of how they actually pretty cold, leaving a numb sensation over his palms.
Seokji was on his call. Taehyung couldn't see it clearly, but Seokjin obviously furrowed his brows and pouted. The brown would never imagining something more adorable than this.
Seokjin sighed out of frustation as he snapped,"I am not gay, Yoongi."
Taehyung smiled bitterly, not because the fact that Seokjin just said he wasn't gay, but how close Seokjin was with whoever it was, close enough to tell them his sexuality.
The younger brushed off his thought, sit next to Seokjin quitely and muttered jokingly,"Oh, so you deny yourself."
Seokjin jolted in shock, glaring at Taehyung as dramatic as he could. The younger smiled at himself, ignoring Seokjin for nth times. He then busied himself to take the straw from paper bag, put it onto the paper cup for Seokjin.
"I... will talk to you again later, Yoongi. See you later."
The brown sipped his tea while watching railway halfheartedly. His mind was full of random plans to hold Seokjin longer here. There's must be a way, right? He couldn't and he didn't want to let Seokjin go. God, he spent more than half of his life to find Seokjin, how could he let him go this way? Seokjin was his life part and still is, even when he's nothing for Seokjin.
The younger decided he would dig all about Seokjin till the bone. "Tell me something about you."
"You just missed your train, Kim Taehyung-ssi and you want my story?"
Taehyung furrowed his brows as he took note how Seokjin used his complete name. The older of course still consider himself as stranger.
He shook his head, trying to focus on his mission. "That's exactly why. I just missed my train and nothing I can do." Taehyung turned and winked, and Seokjin grimaced.
"Well, what do you wanna know?"
Taehyung observed how Seokjin gulped his coffee ice lightly and looking nothing but satisfied, and he couldn't help to crack a smile. Seokjin's lips now turned even more dusty pink as the cold brushed its surface, and Taehyung swore the older couldn't be more adorable and sexy at the same time.
Taehyung held his breath right before raining Seokjin with questions,"Who's called you before? Where do you live? Where is your hometown? Do you have brother, sister? Do you─"
"Stop." The brown realised he had given so much headache for Seokjin, fully and awarely, and now Seokjin even showed slightly an irritated look. But the latter thought he was definitely the one who should be irritated, hurt, and mad, ain't he?
The blond inhaled deeply, Have you bought your new ticket?"
"I did." Taehyung answered, then handed the older the mini fan, hoping that way he could touch Seokjin. A second later, he felt so pathetic and helpless. "My train will come at 9.35." Taehyung eyed Seokjin, smiling excitedly, ignoring the urge to hug the older that starting to edge him. "Come on, answer my questions."
"Well, his name is Yoongi. He is my friend since college. My hometown is Daejeon, that's why I take my time to go home and celebrate his birthday along with my other best friends." Taehyung bit his lips, wondering why Seokjin told that so carefully, and more than anything, why did Seokjin mention Daejeon as his hometown?
"I'm the only child in my family, so yeah, my life is so-so." The blond smiled, a little longer than usual, and Taehyung could feel butterflies inside his tummy.
"So you spent your childhood until college in Daejeon, then moved to Seoul to work?" Taehyung made sure to emphasize 'childhood' so that Seokjin would answer him as complete as possible.
"Actually, I dont remember my childhood, but, you're right. I was in Daejeon until college. Now I work in Seoul."
The brown almost choked on his own saliva, but then he gained his sanity back, feeling his blood gone from his face. He forced a mocking tone as he said,"How can it be possible? Are you, perhaps, 50 years old?"
Seokjin snorted but he managed to say,"I don't know. I just... don't remember. And I never try to remember. I have amazing parents and friends, that's enough." Not, that's not fucking enough. The hell no. Taehyung wanted to scream and threw up.
"I think," Seokjin added,"I am just too forgetful."
The brown didn't do anything but nod. He fidgeted his fingers nervously, how long it was? He was so scared to see his watch.
"Where do you work?"
Taehyung got that epiphany, Seokjin would not telling him anyting else. And for some obvious reasons, he refused to give up, he would try harder. He couldn't imagine letting him go. Not twice.
"You don't wanna tell me. Allright. That's okay." Taehyung squeezed his pants fabric, choked his bitterness down the throat.
Seokjin ruffled his hair, looking guilty and vulnerable. He then eyed his watch, and suddenly Taehyung almost convinced Seokjin was sad. So he found himself asking with an octave raising,"How about your phone number? I think, I think.. I'd like to talk to you again?"
The older bit his lips, and Taehyung took that cue. His hope crashed. His heart sank deeper. He knew it. He knew Seokjin would refuse that idea. He had been careful since forever. But he couldn't stand to be left behind again. He couldn't bare it. He knew, he fucking knew Seokjin didn't know him, moreover love him. He was aware of it, but he refused to believe it. The only thing that keep his sanity was Seokjin. He couldn't lose his only reason to live. Not in millions damn way.
"I'm sorry, Taehyung-ssi. I don't think I can."
Taehyung could hear it: the agony and sorry which came along Seokjin's apology, but he was sad and mad. He didn't understand it, why should he lost Seokjin again? He didn't understand Seokjin either, why couldn't he trust him and gave him his goddamn phone number? And he was mad at himself, why didn't he check Seokjin's ID card first back then? How could he so dumb?
The brown gasped for air. Tears threatening to fall. He still didn't want to let go, but now he was at his breaking point. He hated his whole life. He hated how high his hope for Seokjin to remember him. He hated how Seokjin's face now filled with worry and concerned but Taehyung wanted more than that. He wanted love. He wanted Seokjin to show him that at least he remembered him. He wanted Seokjin to kiss his temple good bye as he used to, he wanted Seokjin to hold his hand and saying,"We can do it together, Taetae!". God, he was indeed greedy but were they too much to ask?
Taehyung gritted his teeth. He hated his life. But he hate that stupid sound coming from train even more.
"Tae."
Taehyung jolted airily, eyes plastered on Seokjin's face as the older called his name and touched his shoulder. Maybe ... maybe, Seokjin remembered him? Seokjin had always been calling him Tae. Taetae.
"Tae?" Taehyung looked up, staring at Seokjin with hope in the middle of tears gathered around his corner of eyes.
Seokjin shrugged. "I like that name more."
His left chest hurt, Taehyung convinced he felt like a sharp knifed was happened stab him there. The same reason. A ten year old Seokjin called him 'Tae' because the same reason. But now it hurted him more than anything else.
The train stopped. And Taehyung's mind starting to go wild. He thought some of extreme ways to make Seokjin stay. Or, he could follow Seokjin, technically, illegally. No, he didn't really think breaking law was that bad. He could even kill for Seokjin.
Taehyung didn't realise he was in Seokjin's warmth embrace now. Automatically, he put his arms around Seokjin, inhaling his homy scent, took the warmth radiated from Seokjin's toned chest, and he swore he would never letting go this moment.
"You'll be okay, Taehyung."
The fuck not. Of course not.
"Maybe. And you clearly will be okay," he huffed.
He knew Seokjin somehow decided to ignore it. "I gotta go, Tae."
The younger tighten his embrace as he felt tears was flooding his cheeks. He choked back sob and buried his face onto Seokjin's wide shoulders that he used to adore. He couldn't face this. He didn't want. He had sworn he wouldn't let go Seokjin if he found him, how could he broke it now?
Taehyung looked up and uttered with shattered heart,"Am I just a stranger to you?"
He scanned Seokjin's close-up features in his memory. His sweaty hair, his calming yet determine eyes, his firm nose, his puffy cheeks, his plumpy lips, he made sure to treasure them all. His body trembled, eyes blurry whilst he realized how close yet so far he was with Seokjin. He could feel he's on the edge, he could break down anytime.
"Hey." Seokjin wiped the brown's tears with his thumb. Taehyung gulped when he saw Seokjin's eyes went glassy. "I believe in fate. We will meet again."
The younger wanted to laugh it out. If there's one to blame, it was their fate. How could he believe in fate after all that happened to them? To Taehyung, who was so fucking in love he couldn't forget Seokjin. And to Seokjin, who didn't see him more than just a stranger who nice to talk to in public.
Taehyung wanted to hate Seokjin for this. For how painful it felt on his chest. For making his hope raised. For making his heart skipped a beat over nothing. That's why he shook his head and detached himself from Seokjin. The older watched him warily but he kept his mouth shut.
"Go."
Seokjin didn't move an inch, and a pang of guilt climbing up into Taehyung's heart. He souldn't have told him so. Instead, he should've said everything to make him remember. To at least made him know Taehyung was not stranger at all. He shouldn't have been mad to Seokjin for something he didn't even remember, wasn't he?
"Take care of yourself." Seokjin stepped backward hesitantly. He was about to turn around but he stood still as he bit his lower lip.
Taehyung reminded himself he had given up, but however, he still wanted to hug Seokjin for the last time. Seokjin let out a surprised yelp as Taehyung's body collided with his in a blink of eye. The younger embraced him in such loving way and Seokjin found himself hard to breath when he felt a quick peck on his cheek.
Taehyung was bewildered as he whispered,"Good bye, Seokjin hyung. But I have given up in fate."
The brown forced himself to detach from Seokjin's warm embrace. He took a step back and sit onto his previous seat, crying without caring about what might people think of him. He remained silent, he didn't look up, and he held himself not to search particular figure. But he knew Seokjin was gone; from the his sight and from his life, once more.
His body went numb. He let it out all; his rage, his agony, his disappointment into sob as he was trembling. He got pitiful gaze from people around him, but he paid no mind. He didn't care. He had nothing to lose. Losing Seokjin had taken all of him. He didn't even scared of anything now. Now that the train brought his Seokjin go, he chose to not care eventhough his heart ached.
Taehyung didn't know how long he had been crying, but when he looked up, he felt the sunlight pricked his swollen eyes.
"You okay?"
Taehyung turned to his side and he found a raven-haired guy that almost seemed as bright as the sun. He narrowed his eyes then offered a forced smile. Better than nothing. The guy smiled brightly.
"No."
"Uh, okay. Can I sit here?"
The brown eyed the seat with the corner of his eye. His heart got a dull pain, remembered how Seokjin sat next to him was the most right thing.
He nodded vaguely. "Sure."
In a normal time, Taehyung must have liked this guy. But now he barely could breathing evenly. His chance to talk casually with the raven was zero.
But Taehyung found it kind of shocking, in a good way, as the raven didn't try to ask him anything at all. He clearly knew Taehyung had been crying. And the brown took a quick glance over the guy who was currenly humming a song he didn't recognize. The silence filled up the air, but Taehyung knew it was comforting which was strange but pleasant. They stayed at that state for some minutes. Taehyung didn't mind. He honestly kind of grateful. The raven guy was perfect. Taehyung needed company so that he wouldn't remember Seokjin all the time, but he didn't want to talk that much. So the raven was perfect. He couldn't find any better option than this.
"I'm sorry, but do you mind if I make a call?" The raven stared him hesitantly. His expression full of anticipation.
Taehyung didn't know why should he asked for his permission, but he nodded anyway.
The guy looked genuinely relieved. "Thank you."
Taehyung closed his eyes. He wished time could pass a little bit more faster so he could run away from life and buried his face deep on his pillow, crying all night long.
The raven really made a call, sounded a bit too enthusiast but tried so hard to keep his voice human approved. "Hyung? No, no. I'm in Seoul actually. I forgot to inform you." He laughed. "I forgot to tell him either! Yesterday was so rush, hyung. My trainer asked me to come here at 9 pm. I will be there soon, I promise." Then silence. Taehyung opened his eyes then inhaled as deep as he could.
"What? He called you crying? Have you tried to call him again? Oh my God. How can I help, hyung?"
Taehyung turned to see the raven seemed like he was about to cry. But the train came into the frame, distracted him. He gazed over the schedule display, then he sighed. It's indeed his train.
The brown readied himself to go. He proceeded to take the used cups into the trash bin. He walked abruptly towards the train, didn't even think to say good bye to the raven.
But when he stood in the entryway, he could still hear the raven said in reassuring tone,"I promise Jin-hyung is okay, hyung. Please calm down. We all will try to contact him no matter how, okay? You could go to the train station too."
Taehyung felt the sudden urge to come back and asked the raven which Jin hyung he had as a friend, but station's officer already glared at him as he stopped walking.
"Sir, you block the way, could you please take your seat? We will depart soon."
Taehyung wanted to cry.
He watched the raven still talking on the phone, his eyes full of worry. He swept a bead of sweat over his forehead and walked towards his seat.
Taehyung found his seat. He nudged his backpack to the cabin over his head then he slumped his body onto the seat. He shut his eyes off and he let his tears pouring down. He planned to sleep forever and he felt grateful as his seat next to him was empty. It would be so much easier.
*
The brown jolted lightly when he heard announcement that the train soon would arrived in Daejeon. His mind automatically thought of Seokjin. He couldn't stop wondering what if Seokjin was out there, waiting for him?
He then unconsciously looked around when the train was finally stopped. He managed to, still have tiniest part of him hoping that Seokjin would remember and waiting for him outside, smiling and ready to hug him.
People started to come and go, and it was blurry for Taehyung as he kept his eyes out, searching for someone particular. But when the hallway started to be quite again, Taehyung couldn't help to feel his heart broke even more. Right, who was he to even think Seokjin would come back?
He smiled bitterly. He positioned himself to sleep again. Sleep was the best to forget. But his phone inside his pants pocket made a sound. Taehyung could ignore it, but he took it out from his pocket, expecting his mom who texted.
But his hands was shaking so hard that his phone loosed from his grip, making a low thud sound as it fell down onto the train floor. Taehyung struggled to get it back. But the message from his facebook was still clear inside his head.
Tae, which wagon were you in?? Tae, reply real quick please, please!
Kim Seokjin. The one who messaged him was Kim Seokjin. He couldn't be wrong. It was Kim Seokjin.
Taehyung was ready to risk it all and crawled onto the goddamn floor when he heard someone running in the hallway, practically everyone could hear that he was panting. Taehyung turned so fast he could break his neck. He felt a thousand feelings now, but he only managed to gape and eyes went glassy as Seokjin stood weakly in the middle of hallway, eyes darting in no particular direction. But then his eyes met Taehyung and his shoulders shaking violently as he rushed to reach Taehyung.
Taehyung looked away, so afraid to believe it. He pulled his legs over his knees. He buried his face in the middle of his thighs, sobbing in silent. He didn't look up whilst he could feel Seokjin sat next to him. He didn't even flinch when he felt a pair arms wrapped his shoulders. Seokjin's warmth spreaded all over his body as the older rested his head onto Taehyung's shoulder.
Seokjin whispered in the middle his cry,"Tae, my parents passed away. I'm sorry. I couldn't remember anything. I'm sorry ̶ "
The younger looked up, causing their faces inch apart. He met Seokjin's eyes that screamed familiar, loving and longing. He didn't reply nor ask. He brought Seokjin into his embrace.
Seokjin melt into their hug.
"I miss you─ so much─ I love you─ God I love you so much─" Seokjin stuttered, still sobbing.
"Hey, that's okay, Hyung. We have forever. I could wait little longer." Taehyung assured him. Seokjin breathed.
The older then pulled away, staring Taehyung's face for so long that Taehyung started to feel hot. "I'm here, Tae," Seokjin said in calming tone. His eyes was sparkling and Taehyung couldn't imagine something prettier.
Seokjin pulled Taehyung's chin closer to kiss him without a glint of hesitancy. Taehyung froze as he felt Seokjin's lips met his, soft and delicate. But before he could return the kiss, Seokjin broke it with reassuring smile. Right. They now had forever.
The older curled himself into Taehyung's arm, sighing contently and the younger could hear his even breathing. Taehyung felt his tears pricked the corner of the eyes, but now he didn't mind it. It was for pure happiness. His cheeks heated up, his smile went so wide.
"What if someone had this seat? My seat was over there, so far away." Seokjin asked in sleepy voice.
"I would throw them out of the window, Hyung. That seat was taken by you only."
Seokjin giggled. God, Taehyung missed that giggle so much that it hurted. The younger intertwined their fingers that miraculously perfect fit.
Silence. Taehyung repositioned himself so Seokjin could put lean his body onto Taehyung's. He didn't care that his body would be sore later.
He could smell how salty Seokjin's face for sweating a lot, reminded him how hard Seokjin's struggle to find him. He could feel the love that was long gone for more than half of his life. He could heard his name called without being hurt and left out. And now he could understand Seokjin and show him love he deserved.
Taehyung cried, remembered how he kept all his social media opened, just in case Seokjin would look for him. He made sure he used the most clear profile picture, wrote his complete name in both English and hangul, left his phone number even when it was a bit risky. He knew Seokjin would never into social media, but he found himself still crying over the fact that Kim Seokjin was nothing to be found literally on every social media. He searched and searched, but nothing. He couldn't find Seokjin's account. He realized Seokjin made his facebook account just minutes ago to find him, and something inside his chest tighten.
Taehyung looked down to his abandoned phone. But he could care less. He wouldn't wake Seokjin up just to take his stupid phone.
"I love you so much." The brown didn't get respond, but he smiled then combed the wet bangs that sticked into the blond forehead. "Thank you for coming back."
Taehyung couldn't wait for Seokjin woke up and told him the complete story. Now, he would just spend his time smiling and watching the blond asleep on his arm. He then gazed outside, hand still intertwined with Seokjin's. He felt grateful for staying alive and never gave up for Seokjin who slept peacefully next to him: safe and sound.
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Hi, thank you for being patient. I finally finished this and gave Taejin happy ending! And also, you can find me in AO3 with username: howtospellpizza. Twitter @ howtospellpizza and youtube: Seokjin's Potato.
Cheers!