Just then, Kara's phone rang, the current subject of conversation lighting up its display.
"It's Lena," Kara reported, slipping out from under Alex's hand as she picked up her phone and walked to the window. "Lena?"
There was quiet on the other line for a beat before the other woman finally spoke. "Kara."
"Where are you? Is everything ok?"
"I'm about an hour out of town. I followed your advice; I went to see Lex." Kara picked up the sound of gravel crunching under heavy boots, and Kara could just imagine Lena pacing back and forth by the side of the highway next to that damned motorcycle. The footsteps came to a stop. "I'll be honest with you, Kara: everything...everything is not ok."
Kara pressed her lips together, her stomach twisting as she performed some rough mental calculations. If she flew fast enough, she could be an hour out of National City within minutes as Supergirl. But that wasn't who was on the phone with Lena right now.
"Did you need me to contact Supergirl?" she asked.
"No," Lena said firmly. "I want to see you."
Kara's eyebrows peaked in surprise and she cleared her throat. "Me? Wh—why me? I mean, of course, I'm here for you, whatever you need but I thought you and Supergirl—"
"I can't talk to her about this," Lena's words cut Kara short. "The matter is more...human." There was a pause, and when Lena spoke again, her voice had softened. "You understand, right Kara?"
"Human," Kara repeated, as though saying it herself would make more sense. The way Lena said it was strange, weighed down with a hidden significance Kara couldn't quite understand. "Of course," she continued regardless.
Lena exhaled on the other end of the line, and the crunching footsteps resumed with purpose. "Great. Where can I meet you?"
"I'm at my apartment."
"Perfect. I'll see you in an hour."
Before Kara could say anything else, the call disconnected. Kara stared at her phone screen for a moment before looking up at Alex and Maggie, who were staring right back. "That was her," she said blankly.
"No kidding," Alex breathed a laugh.
"Alex, why are you talking to that beetroot?"
Kara's blush deepened, but she ignored Maggie's cheeky grin as Alex nudged her girlfriend reprimandingly. "She's coming over here. Something must have happened at the prison; she sounded...off," Kara said, her brow furrowing.
"How do you mean?" Alex asked.
"I can't put my finger on it," Kara shook her head, "she did just see her brother in prison for the first time in two years. That would shake anyone up," she said dismissively.
"You're not going to use that as an excuse not to tell her today, are you?" Alex asked, sceptical brow raised.
"What? Me? Put something off doing something that I know I need to do but I'm terrified of doing anyway?" Kara asked preposterously. "It's almost like you don't know me at all."
Alex's frown broke into an affectionate smile and she shook her head lightly. "Whatever you say."
"Just pull it off like a Band-Aid. Maybe blood will spurt horribly everywhere, maybe it won't. You won't know until you just rip that sucker off," Maggie said, clearly thinking she was being helpful, as the Danvers sisters gave her matching horrified looks.
"That's really bad advice," Kara whispered weakly.
"I think that's our cue to leave," Alex grimaced. She kissed Kara on the top of her head and made her promise to call afterwards, then gathered up her things and her girlfriend before Maggie decided to give any more 'helpful' advice.
Kara leaned her back against the door to her apartment as she pressed it shut once the two had left. She let out a long exhale, her eyes closing. "Ok, Kara Zor-El. You can do this," she murmured to herself.
Kara spent the next hour pacing back and forth all over her apartment, polishing off another three muffins as she frantically rehearsed what she was going to say to Lena—as if that would even help.
"I'm Supergirl. I am Supergirl. I am Supergirl," she said out loud to herself over and over again with different inflections and tones—but nothing ever felt right. "Hey Lena, did you know I can fly? Lena! How's it going? Funny story, as it turns out, I'm Supergirl. Lenaaa! So you know how you've been sharing sweet lady kisses with Supergirl lately? You're really good at that by the way. Also, I'm Supergirl. Um, Surprise?"
Kara grimaced and shook her head, taking a frustrated bite of the last muffin. Then it occurred to her: maybe she didn't even need to say anything; maybe she could just show Lena.
She stood in front of her mirror and practiced unbuttoning her shirt to reveal the conspicuous red 'S' emblazoned on its cobalt blue background. She tried it slowly, from bottom to top, and from top to bottom, redoing the buttons with increasing frustration every time. Eventually she just ripped her shirt open, only to have one of the buttons fly off, rebound against the mirror and hit her squarely on the crinkle that had taken up residency on her forehead.
Kara sighed and fetched another shirt from her bedroom, making sure to fasten the buttons very delicately. She looked at herself in the mirror once more, taking a deep breath as she stared herself in the face.
"Lena, there's something I have to tell you. There's no easy way to go about this, and I wish I could have told you sooner, but I had to protect myself. And you—I had to protect you too. People who know this about me have a way of ending up in the crosshairs...not that you need much help in that department. Anyway, Lena, what I'm trying to say is, I'm—"
Kara faltered mid-sentence as she was cut short by a firm knocking at the door. She didn't need x-ray vision to know who waited on the other side. Casting a final glance at her reflection, she fixed her hair and slipped her glasses on before heading to the door.
Sliding the door open revealed the Luthor heiress standing on her doorstep, clad in jet-black riding boots and form-fitting leather pants which matched her jacket. Her hair spilled over her shoulder in relative disarray, and she was also completely drenched.
"Lena. You're wet," was all Kara managed in a puzzled voice.
Lena quirked an eyebrow. "How very astute of you, Kara. I can see why you make such a fine reporter," she noted as she breezed past Kara into the apartment. Kara stood in a daze as Lena unzipped her jacket to reveal a grey t-shirt that clung to her damp skin and hung it on the back of one of her bar stools.
"A torrential downpour was exactly what I needed after today's clusterfuck," Lena grumbled, striding into Kara's bathroom where she helped herself to a towel. She popped her head out as she patted her hair dry to say, "sorry, I know you don't like cursing, but today was just...fucked." She disappeared once again in the bathroom as Kara slowly closed the door, scratching her head in bewilderment.
Whatever she'd been expecting from Lena, this certainly hadn't been it.
Now relatively dry, Lena exited the bathroom and sank into Kara's couch with a sigh, giving Kara a moment to take her in. This was a new look on the CEO: her cheeks flushed pink against ivory skin, raven hair unkempt and untamed, lashes still bearing the evidence of rain on long strands which framed ever-strikingly green eyes. It was wholly different from her usually immaculate presentation complete with tailored outfits and heels, yet still possessed the ability to render Kara completely speechless.
She quickly realised that she was just standing there, staring at Lena from the doorway, and forced herself to move. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you," Lena shook her head and chewed at the pad of her thumb, her eyes focused directly ahead as Kara slipped down onto the couch next to her.
"What happened?" Kara asked. "You sounded a little, ah, strained on the phone. What did Lex say?"
"Well...we certainly had an illuminating conversation," Lena answered cryptically.
Kara rubbed at the back of her neck and tried for a different approach. "How are you feeling? Seeing your brother couldn't have been easy, especially after all that's happened."
Lena turned her head, her eyes finally connecting with Kara's. "Seeing Lex is never going to be easy for me. He's so different to who I remember...but I'm glad I went. Things make sense now."
Kara raised an eyebrow. "You mean he's not a threat after all? You're not in danger?"
Lena laughed bitterly and ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't think I'll ever be able to say that for certain. But what I can say is that my brother doesn't pose a threat to me, at least not in the present moment. As it turns out, it's my mother who is after me." Kara's eyes went wide and Lena merely shrugged in response. "Some family, right?"
Kara frowned in reaction to how casual Lena was being about this. Where was the Lena Luthor who unleashed her fury on a heavy bag until her hands bled? Maybe she was just numb to her family drama after all these years.
"Do you know where she is?" Kara asked. "We should be going after her, we can finally—"
"Kara, Kara," Lena said sternly and reached out to clasp her hand which had balled itself into a fist, reeling Kara in from the springboard into action from which she was about to jump. "I can handle my mother. Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can take care of it. Knowledge is power, as they say," she said with a wry twitch of her brow.
For a moment, the only sound was that of the rain tapping steadily against the window. "Learning about my mother isn't all I took away from speaking with Lex," Lena's voice eventually broke through the silence. "He brought some things into focus for me. I see them clearly now."
Kara found herself unable to hold Lena's penetrating gaze for long, and dropped her eyes down to her lap. Still, she felt the Luthor's eyes on her, like she could see right through her. "What kinds of things?" she asked, not daring to speak much louder than a whisper.
Lena sighed. "Ever since your heroics at the CatCo party, things have been a little complicated for me. I felt like my heart was pulling me one way while my mind was telling me something else and my body...well it just had a mind of its own," she confessed with a dismissive shake of her head and a sharp exhale. "But things are finally starting to make sense."
Lena had shifted closer as she spoke. Kara could see individual drops of water on her neck as the hand which had been holding hers trailed lightly up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.
Lena continued, her voice low and lingering on every word. "Like how your smile has this extraordinary ability to brighten up my day. Like how your hand on mine makes me feel this sense of safety I've only ever felt with one other person. Like how something can be right under your nose, staring you in the face until you find the one missing piece that brings the full picture into clarity."
Lena's fingertips had forged a path up Kara's shoulder and traced along her jawline, coming to rest at the nape of her neck. Kara's head was spinning, intoxicated by the closeness of the dark haired woman, her thoughts blurring out of focus before she could get a handle on them. Her eyes were locked in with Lena's, and she could see an unmistakable woe within their depths.
"Lena, I..." she murmured. They were only a breath apart now. "I'm sorry."
The words had barely left Kara's lips when Lena's own were pressed up against them. Kara folded into Lena with a short sigh, the remaining shreds of her resolve crumbling under the sensation of Lena's lips and the woman's hands at her cheeks, fingers tangling themselves into her hair at the base of her skull. Her arm slipped around the CEO's waist, drawing on her inhuman strength to pull her impossibly close.
In all honesty, she believed that this would be the last time. There was something in Lena's voice and her eyes that conveyed that things were going to change, but as long as she was kissing her, maybe they could stay suspended in this limbo—somewhere between lies and truth where this could exist.
Kara was drowning in her, so much so she barely registered Lena's hands undoing the buttons of her shirt. The first two buttons came undone easily, with steady hands. Lena's hands picked up speed by the third, fumbled with the fourth, until finally the final buttons were hastily pulled apart.
"Take off your glasses, Kara." Lena's ragged voice cut through Kara's urgency, bringing everything to a shuddering halt.
Kara stuttered forward into the void between their lips, a gasping breath escaping her mouth at the sudden loss of contact. She kept her eyes shut tight, not daring to move a single muscle.
"Please," Lena whispered.
Kara tensed her jaw and reached up a trembling hand to slide her glasses off, finally opening her eyes as the final vestige of her disguise fell away, the truth laid bare for all to see. She drew in a breath and met Lena's eyes, not as Supergirl, not as Kara Danvers, but as something in between; her two identities colliding together in the most cataclysmic fashion.
Lena stared back at her and swallowed hard. Her eyes burned. When she couldn't look at her face any longer, Lena's gaze flicked down to her chest, to the unavoidable incriminating crimson 'S'.
Lena reached out a hand to trace the stitching, like she had done before in quiet moments on her balcony or in her living room, when she lived in this dream where a Super and a Luthor could be together in this world where everything was stacked against them.
"I hoped...I really hoped I would be wrong. But here you are. Supergirl."
Kara hated the way Lena was looking at her: like she was a complete stranger.
"Lena, please, let me explain—"
"Kara, don't," Lena cut her short, shaking her head. "I don't need you to explain. What's done is done...the thing is, I felt something so powerful for her...it even scared me a bit. But, still, deep down I knew I was never getting all of her. There was always something missing. Kara, you could have..." Lena trailed off and shook her head. "I'm not going to sit here and play the 'if only' game. It's counterproductive."
Kara swallowed and gripped Lena's hands in her own, like she could hold onto her even though she could feel her slipping away. "I never meant to hurt you, Lena. I need you to know that."
"But you did." Lena smiled sadly, tears held at bay behind her lash line. Her hand was at Kara's cheek again, thumb skating across cheekbones. "You don't get to decide who gets hurt when you wear a suit of thorns, I'm afraid. Guess I just got too close," she said softly, and Kara's heart splintered in her chest. "I can't be here right now." Lena stood abruptly.
Kara sat on the couch, mute and helpless as Lena made for the door. She had never felt so completely powerless.
Lena hesitated at the door, her hand frozen on the doorknob. "I mean, who were we kidding right? A Super and a Luthor? It's ludicrous, really. We're like...the Sun and the Moon." She looked at Kara over her shoulder, her eyes lingering on the blonde's for a moment before she left.
Kara didn't know how long she stared at the door, thinking of all the ways she could explain that it had all been just as real for her as it had for Lena, that she had to keep it a secret to protect herself, that she was sorry that she had lied to her and manipulated her, even if it was with the best intentions. But she knew it wouldn't matter. Lena was hurting, and she had done that.
Maybe they were like the sun and the moon: destined to chase each other's light across the celestial plane for all time, always just out of one another's reach.