| March 29 | Thursday Afternoon |
~ Sam's POV ~
The Florida sun scorched my shoulders as I helped Tony and Shawn unload the car. The smell of sunscreen and salt water soothed my senses, but surely didn't cool me down. How did people in the south manage?
We had decided on our last day we would drive out to this little secluded beach Shawn's boss had told him about, and so far, there were only a handful of people in sight. I was excited to spend the day with everyone considering Shawn had worked most of the week. Plus, I wanted to pick his brain.
Shawn started pushing an umbrella into the sand as I laid out towels, glancing over my shoulder to see Megan and Blair at the edge of the water.
"Can I ask you something?" I said aloud, grabbing my brother's attention.
"Sure."
I stood straight. "Marrying Casey doesn't scare you at all?"
He secured the umbrella and looked at me. "No. Why?"
"Just wondering," I lied.
"Sam."
He knew there was more to my question, but if my brother wasn't scared of commitment, then why was I?
"I want to marry Megan," I admitted.
For some reason, Shawn didn't seem surprised.
"Okay?" he replied. "And does that bother you?"
"Not really?" I answered.
"So, what's the deal?" He fished for a beer in the cooler. "Are you afraid she'll come to her senses at the altar?"
I rolled my eyes at his joke, laughing along as I accepted a beer from him. This past week Megan and I had done a lot of reflecting on our lives, and I had slowly begun to picture my life with her, long-term.
"I think the reason I could never picture forever with someone before is because I never thought I would make it past twenty-one," I admitted. "Marriage and kids were never a thought because I figured I'd never get there."
Shawn's expression softened.
"And now, here I am, twenty-one and in love with someone who makes me want to live as long as possible," I finished. "It's never made sense to me up until now."
Shawn leaned back on one arm and studied me. There was something he wanted to say, and I hoped he said it, but it looked intense.
"I never got to tell you this before I moved, but I think I need to now," Shawn said. "Sam, you deserve a long and happy life, and I can promise Megan will give that to you."
I just looked at him.
"You've been through a lot. With mom and dad, with your depression, and just... you've come a long way, and most of it is because you fell in love." He sat up. "She makes you want to be a better person, and I've never seen either of you as happy as you two are together."
There was a lull in his monologue, but I waited for him to find his hook.
"Bottom line is: there's nothing to be afraid of," he continued. "A lot of things in life are gray, and a lot of things are complicated..." He sipped his beer. "But you and Megan... the love you two have for each other... it's for real. Marrying her is only gonna make it better."
Hearing my brother say that allowed the heaviness in my chest subside. Shawn wasn't a bullshitter, and if he knew something wasn't right, he would tell you. Hell, he's warned me before all my previous bad decisions because he knew I was full of it.
But he was dead serious right now, and I would trust my brother with my life.
"Thanks," I finished.
"Sure," he answered. "Sometimes you need to hear it from other people."
"I think so."
He looked forward and watched our friends in the water. "You need to call more often."
"I know."
We locked gazes and I felt a pull in my heart. I missed my brother a lot. It sucked not having him around. Shawn no longer being a phone call away had put a small hole in my heart, as if something was missing.
"Are you happy here?" I asked.
"I am. I really am..." He sighed. "But it does suck, being away from family."
"Think you'll ever come back?" I wondered.
He shrugged. "Anything's possible. Right now, no. I can't picture moving back anytime soon because my career is taking off. Things are coming together, and I still have a lot to do here..."
I felt my heart ache.
"But, nothing's permanent," he finished. "And I do miss giving you a hard time."
"So, that's a maybe?"
"A hard maybe."
"What are you two talking about?" Megan interrupted, taking a seat next to me.
I looked at Shawn. "Nothing. Just life."
My brother grinned. "Sam just needed some brotherly advice."
I laid my head in Megan's lap and enjoyed the feeling of her warmth. Shawn was right. All I needed was his advice and to hear him say things were going to be alright. If my brother believed this was right, then there was no more to overthink.
Megan and I belonged together.
* * *
"Are you sure you have everything?" Shawn wondered.
"Yes!" I answered in annoyance. "If not, just ship it to me."
I hauled the last of our suitcases out of the car, looking at my brother with a sad expression. This vacation had passed quickly, and I was upset it was already time to go.
"Text me when you land." He hugged Blair and gave Tony a quick handshake. "Tell mom and dad I'll visit as soon as possible."
I watched Megan and Shawn embrace in a hug, leaving me for last. When they parted, he looked at me.
"Thanks for inviting us." I embraced my brother and tried my best not to cry. "It was much needed."
"Anytime." He hugged me tighter. "Stop overthinking and just trust your gut."
I knew what he was referring to, and I nodded when he pulled back.
"If only you would've overthought half of your life decisions as much as you're overthinking this one," he joked.
I rolled my eyes. "Goodbye."
He laughed as he waved us off, allowing us to walk towards the terminal. I had learned a lot about myself on this trip, more than I had bargained for, but at least I understood why I thought the way I did. It all finally made sense, and now, I could use that knowledge to my advantage.
Megan grabbed my hand as we walked through the automatic doors of the airport, and I smiled to myself.
I wanted this forever, and I no longer felt scared or insecure about making these decisions.
And I was ready to make the jump, preferably sooner than later.
* * *
Being back at Jinx felt weird after the whole incident with Mariah, and working with her was even worse. I still felt the tension, as if she had something against me ever since I sent her home that day, but I decided not to address it.
The night was going slow, and for a Thursday it was off. Sara and Mariah seemed to be doing fine on their own, so I tried my best to stay out of the way.
It wasn't until I was helping the girls close that I was pacing towards the back entrance to take the trash out. Sara was sweeping in the front while Mariah was currently MIA. I figured she was trying to avoid me as well.
I walked out the back and rounded the corner, only to run into Mariah and some guy making an exchange.
"What the hell are you two doing?" I asked.
That's when I spotted the pill bottle, and I no longer needed an explanation.
"You can't sell my employees drugs on this property," I stated. "Next time I see this I'm calling the cops."
"Sam, chill! What the hell?" Mariah defended.
"Jeez, you didn't tell me how uptight your boss was," the guy said.
"She's not my boss," Mariah hissed.
"No worries." The guy held his hands up. "It won't happen again."
I already knew this would make things between Mariah and I worse, but they could do their exchange elsewhere.
"Mariah, you know better-"
"Yeah?" she interrupted. "And I'm sure Danna would expect you to know better than to get high on the clock."
Suddenly, this felt like a threat. Why was she bringing up the night Nikki had gotten to me? That had happened weeks ago. But I couldn't argue because she was right. I should've known better.
"Go finish closing up," I ordered.
She shoved the pill bottle into her pocket and stormed back inside the bar, leaving me to wonder what the hell I was going to do. If Mariah was threatening me, then we would have a bigger problem.
I went to go back inside, but a car pulled up in the parking lot. I realized it was Jas.
She exited. "Sam."
"Hey," I greeted. "Long time no see."
"Yeah," she said unsurely.
I frowned. "Why are you here?"
She rubbed the back of her neck, looking caught off guard.
"I uh, I'm picking up Mariah."
At this, the confusion on my face made her continue.
"We need to talk," she stated.
Why had this night grown so serious all of a sudden?
"Okay?"
She ran her hand through her hair. "So, Mariah got kicked out of the place she was staying at, right..."
Well shit. That was probably my fault.
"And so, she's been sleeping on my couch, except we kind of... uh..."
I already knew what she was trying to say, and I was severely disappointed.
"We slept together."
"Jas..." I shook my head. "That's bad."
"I know, but that's not the bad news..."
I felt my heart shake in anticipation. What the hell was she getting at?
"I may or may not have gotten really drunk and told her about you and Megan."
The bombshell. I should've known something like this was bound to happen, but you could never prepare yourself for the storm.
"What exactly did you tell her?" I asked.
"I don't know... I don't remember everything, but she knows Megan was your teacher."
I felt helpless. Mariah hated me. I could see it in her eyes. And knowing that she had gotten kicked out of her last place only put the pieces together. That's why she was still upset with me. Then the whole incident tonight had just fueled her fire.
"Fuck," was all I said.
"I'm really sorry..."
"It's fine," I lied. "Thanks for telling me."
I turned back towards the bar and went inside, knowing that Mariah knew something about me and Megan that I didn't need her to know.
And if she told the wrong person, everything could come crashing down.
***A/N***
Hey again! Another day another update. Sorry, again, for always coming and going sporadically. I'm trying.
Things are starting to heat up now that Sam and Megan are back in town. If you're eager to see how Segan does under pressure, hit that little star and comment what you think will happen!
Much love,
Lauryn