Chapter 12: Sickness can be Death
I thought I was nervous before when we had lunch with Birdie, but I was wrong. Just sitting in Jack's car while Riku drove us to visit my dad I was shaking and trying to look in my purse to find my anxiety pills. "Are you really this nervous about this wall?" Jack ask as he takes my purse. "You know... It's not okay to look through a girl's purse." I say trying to keep calm so I don't get an attack. I hear Jack laugh as he pulls out my pill bottle and gives me a pill. "I think we're past that." He says also handing me water I gladly take it. "Where are we going anyways?" He ask, I didn't tell him what today was, it's to hard to explain.
"You'll see." I say as I finish the water and look out the window still shaking. No one has meet my father, no one knows what happened to him or how I blame myself on what happened to him. "Do I get a hint at all about this wall?" He ask but I just shake my head, "No you don't because it's something I have to show you, and explain about it later." I say still not looking at him, I was starting to get emotional about this. Maybe this wasn't a good idea... I feel a hand touch mine making me get out of my head as I look over at Jack to see a look of worry on his face.
"You're in your head again, you need to get out of it. Whatever this wall is... It's going to be okay." Jack says making me give him a small smile, it's weird that a year ago, I hated this man and I wanted nothing to do with him. But this past week... It's been different, it's like his changing in front of me, or I'm changing. "Jack... this wall is the highest wall I have build around me. Not a lot of people know about this. And I need you to keep it to yourself, please." I bag not even knowing if he'll agree with me.
But there it was... That smile. "You really think I would tell people about this? I don't even know what it is but I can tell in your face and how you squeezing the hell out of my hand that it's important to you. That you're scared." He says as I look down at his hand to see that I am squeezing it I didn't even realize it. I let go of his hand, "Sorry... I didn't." "I know you didn't." He said taking my hand again, "Squeeze it as hard as you want, I don't mind." He says making me smile a little as I feel the car come to a stop. I take a deep breath as I see Riku open the car door for us. Jack steps out first as I follow. I look at his face to see a little shocked face when he sees where we were. "Umm... call me when you want me to pick you up Sir." Riku says as he bows and goes back into the car.
Jack looks at me as I start to walk in, "We need to stop at the gift shop first." I say as I hear Jack follow behind me. Jack stayed close to me as we go into the gift shop to see the normal girl Molly Sin working. Molly is always working at the gift shop whenever I go in there. She was maybe in her mid 30's with short brown hair and deep brown eyes. We never talked much about anything but she knows I get flowers every time I visit my father. "Oh Moon-Chan, it's good to see you. Who's your guest?" She ask as I go to the flowers. "Frost-Chan, this is Sin Molly." I say as Jack bows to Molly, "It's.. Nice to meet you." Jack said confused as I pick up my favorite flowers and hand them to Molly. "Irises today huh?" She ask as she rings me up. I nod as I start to dig around my purse for my wallet as I see a card slide by my head.
"Please allow me." Jack says as Molly looks at me before she takes the card. "Arigato Jack." I say as I grab flowers and bow at Molly. "See you soon." I say as we start to walk out. "It was umm... Nice meeting you." Jack says again bowing as Molly follows as he follows me out. "Elsa..." He says but I shook my head, "No questions, we're almost there." I say as we reach the elevator and I push the level four button. I grab onto Jack's hand as I feel the elevator starts to move. "Is... The hospital your mother works at?" He ask as I nod, "She's working the night shift tonight so we won't run into her." I say as the elevator stops.
I squeezes Jack's hand as we step off and start to walk past the nurse station. "Oh Moon-Chan and... Guest?" One of my mom's nursing friend's says confused on seeing Jack. Fun Lee was my mother's only friend working here, someone he took under his wing. He was older maybe mid 50's with salt and pepper hair that was slowly going bald in the back. "Hello Nurse Lee, this is my boyfriend Frost Jack." I say as Jack bows. "Right your mother told me you were seeing someone. Are we making a visit today?" He ask making nod, "It's been awhile. How is he today?" I ask as we follow Nurse Lee to my father's room. "Same as always, no new improvements I'm sorry to say." Nurse Lee said making my heart hurt a little. It always felt like this walk always took so long, like it would never end when really it's only a minute walk away from the Nursing Station.
We stopped in front of my father's room and I could feel my heart skip a beat. "I'm at the station if you need anything." Lee says as he walks away leaving Jack and I alone. I turn to Jack, "You ready to meet my wall?" I ask. He didn't hesitate to even answer as he opens the door for me letting me step in first. In the bed was a man with shaggy blonde hair and if his eyes were open you'd see the deep blue eyes that matched mine. He had an IV in his right arm and a machine showing his heart rate. I walked in and go to the vast by his table with the old flowers in them from my last visit. I take the flowers out and changed the water before I return them to his nightstand and kiss him on the forehead, "Hey dad." I say.
"I have someone I'd like you to meet." I continue trying not to show weakness as I turn to Jack who looked shocked. "Dad this is Shimo-Fujitsu Jack, and his my boyfriend." I say making him smile a little, "Jack this is my father, Moon Victor." I say waiting to see what Jack was going to do. Seeing my father like this won't make him leave but when I tell him what happened, that might. Jack starts to walk over to us and bows to my father, "It's a pleasure to meet you sir." He says as he looks at me. "Your wall?" He ask as I nod, "Take a sit, I'll tell you everything."
***
I didn't think it would be hard to tell my story of what happened but it was. I was holding on to my dad's hand like I always do when I visit. Sometimes I'll read him a book or just hold his hand and sit in silents. "Elsa... You don't have to tell me." Jack said remind me he was there. I shook my head, "No, I need to. We told each other we'll be honest with each other so I need to tell you." I take a deep breath, "You know we moved here about a two years ago. My father got a really good job at the oil fields and with my mom's job it's easy for her to transfer. I was... So excited to move here. I always wanted to see Japan and learn more about the culture." I started to look through my phone until I found the picture we took the moment we got to our house, our old house. I show the picture to Jack, "This is the house we originally moved in too." I say as Jack looks at the picture.
"You look so happy." He says handing me back my phone. "I was... Everything was going great. Even meeting you couldn't hurt my spirit, even though you're a pain in the ass." I say making him laugh, "Okay I get it, you hated me." He says but I shook my head, "No, I didn't." I say making him raise his eyebrow but I shook that away, "No we'll talk about that another time." I say as I look back at my father seeing his chest move up and down. "About six months after we moved here, my dad had an accident." I could feel the tears start to come into my eyes. "I was at school helping out with the school festival and I stayed late. I told my father I would take the bus home but he didn't like that idea and said he'd come pick me up."
I took a deep breath I could already feel my voice start to shake. "I got a call from my mother saying my dad had a heart attack and crashed his car." My voice shook as I move my fingers through my hair putting my hand on my forehead looking at the ground, "I thought he died, I thought his heart had stopped and I was right and wrong at the same time. He hit a pole when the attacked happened and his airbag went off hitting him unconscious." My whole body started to shake, "Lucky for him, the man that found him was an EMT and kept him alive until he reached the hospital.
"He survived the heart attack but... His brain got swollen from the airbag and his been in a coma ever since. It's been almost a year and his brain has healed but, he won't wake up." I say feeling tears go down my face. "Elsa..." I hear Jack says as I felt my breath caught in my throat, "It's all my fault... I should of pushed him to not pick me up, I shouldn't of told him I needed a ride at all. If I did, he would of never hit that pole... he wouldn't be here. And we... We...." I couldn't hold it anymore as the tears took over my body and I started to cry.
I hear the chair next to me slide as I feel two arms go around me making me turn and hold Jack as I cried. "It's not your fault, you didn't do this. This was an act of God, you didn't do this Elsa." Jack said over and over again but it still made me feel like I did. "We lost the house, my mom started to work double shifts just to pay the bills and the rent in our house now." I cried still holding on to Jack. "That's why you worked at the Cafe... I knew you had bills but I didn't..." He whisper making me nod as I finally start to calm down a little.
I pull back and wipe my eye hoping my make up isn't everywhere. "I work so hard so I can help out my mom, I work so my sister can be a teenager and enjoy life. I work so then I can get the hell out of here once my father wakes up. Because he will wake up, he loves us to much to leave us. And he's to stubborn to leave us." I say making Jack laugh at the last part, "Well I see where you get that from." He says making me glare at him but he was right, I was a lot like my father. "I also see where you get your looks from, you look a lot like your dad." Jack says making me smile, "We are a lot alike. His really hard working too."
Jack looks back at my father like he was taking it all in, "is this why you have anxiety attacks?"Jack ask making me nod, "Yeah... I try to keep it all in, to be strong but Jack..." I say and look at him, "I'm not strong... I'm so weak, and sometimes, sometimes I think it would be better if I wasn't around anymore." I say making Jack grab my hand. "Elsa, don't you dare say that. You are not weak, you are the strongest person I've ever meet. And I..." He starts but stops looking at the ground. I raise an eyebrow, "You?" I ask making him look at me, "I can't think of a life without you in it. I can't think of a life where I don't have you glaring at me, or putting me in my place.
"And I sure as hell can't think of a life without you wearing that dress at my sister's party or even in your maid outfit." He says making me laugh a little making me feel a little better. "And if there's a world out there that doesn't have the sassy Elsa Moon, then it's a world I don't want to live in." He says with a smile making me smile as I place my forehead on his. "You're very good at making someone feel better Jack." I say. "It's the truth Elsa. I love having you in my life." He says making me open my eyes to see his eyes looking at me, "I can't think of my life without you either Jack." I said surprised at myself, I actually meant that, I didn't want a world without Jack. His been a thorn in my side since I meet him but I can't deny that since I meet him, I've had feelings for him.
And this week of us being together... Those feelings are coming through. I was falling in love with Jack Frost.
I clear my throat and pull back, I had to get away from him to make myself cool down. "Thank you Jack." I say as he pats my leg, "should we get going? It's getting late." Jack said making me nod, he was right, it was and I had to help Jack before I went home tonight. I stand and kiss my father on the cheek, "Bye dad, I'll come back next week and read to you, okay?" I say as I start to walk off.
I turn back to see Jack standing in front of my father with his hands together like he was praying. He lets go and walks over to me, "Are you ready?" He ask taking my hand. "yeah.. I am." I say as I turn to my dad again, "Love you." I say to him as we walk out the door.
***
The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing not my alarm. I look at my phone with sleepy eyes to see Jack calling me, making me growl a little as I answer. "I need beauty sleep Frost." I hiss until I hear a groan. "Elsa." Jack whimpered. "Jack, what's wrong?" I ask sitting up feeling fully away now. "I... I won't be coming to school today. Please take today off and see me tomorrow." Jack says his voice sound weak. "Jack..." I said but I hear phone go quite meaning he hanged up on me. I look at my phone, what the hell is happening.
I quickly got out of bed and started to change into anything I could find fast which was some skinny jeans and loose t-shirt. "Elsa, are you ready for scho..." I hear behind me as I turn to see Anna looking at me in her school uniform ready to go. "Anna I am so sorry but I'm not going to school." I say as I pick up my phone and called for my ride. "Hey Riku, I need a ride can you come get me? Thank you." I say as I hang up and walk past Anna. "What do you mean you're not going to school?" She ask following me to the kitchen as I make my special tea.
My special tea is gray tea with honey, blackberry and raspberry mixed in. "You're making your special tea... Are you sick?" She ask feeling my forehead but I pushed her away, "I'm not sick, it's for someone else." I say as I put the tea in a to-go cup and went to get my jacket. "Elsa... You're not talking to me which is freaking me out. What is going on?" She ask grabbing my hand making me stop. "Jack is sick. I'm going to go take care of him." I say pulling my arm back, "Can Kristoff give you a ride today?" I ask as I look at her to see her shocked.
"You made your special tea to take to your sick boyfriend? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" She ask making me roll my eyes, "Hush now, I care for him, I do the same thing when you're sick." I say making me stop, did I say I care for him and mean it? What was happening to me? I shook the thought away as I hand Anna her jacket and bag for school. "Now can Kristoff take you to school?" I ask again trying to forget what I said. Before she could answer, I hear a car horn, "Umm yeah that's him now." She says right as I got a text form Riku, "Great, my ride is here too." I say and walk to the door with her, before she goes to Kristoff's truck, I gave her a hug, "I'm most likely staying at Jack's tonight so please tell mom and take care of yourself." I say making her nod, "You take care of yourself too." She says before she goes into Kristoff's truck and mine to Riku.
"Where to Elsa?" He ask as I buckle in, "to Jack's please."
***
"Jack?" I yell as I walk into Jack's studio using his spare key he gave me. I hear a groan coming from his room as I put my bag down and go into Jack's room to see him in bed, shaking. "Jack." I say as I go on the floor and hold his hand making him open his eyes. He looks so weak as sweat started to go down his forehead. "Elsa... I told you..." "I know what you told me. But did you really think I would listen?" I say as I put my hand on his forehand, "You're burning up. I'm going to get you a towel to try and cool you off." I say as I stand "Drink some tea." I say as go into the kitchen to get him a towel.
I was scared this was going to happen, his been working none stop for almost two weeks even though I told him time and time again to take it easy. He hired me to watch over him and make sure he didn't get killed, I might of just signed his death certificate. I go into the kitchen and grab two towels. After I wet both towels I went back into his room to see him laying on his back still shaking. I place the one cool towel on his head and sat on the side of the bed. I grab the tea and handed it to him, "Drink this, it'll help." I say. "Stop bossing me around, I'm the boss around here." Jack tried to joke as he gave a weak smile. "Shut up and drink it jerk." I say as he takes the tea and drinks a little. I wait as he laid back down before I before I grabbed the other towel. "Stupid boy... I told you to stop working so hard." I say as I used the other towel to cool off his face and neck.
"Are... You really lecturing me right now?" He whispers making me smile, "Maybe in this state you'll listen." I say as I pat his neck and move the blanket to see his not wearing a shirt, it wasn't the first time seeing him shirtless but it still catches me by surprise every time I see him. His just so perfectly muscular it's hard not to stare. "It's not so bad this time... Last time I couldn't get out of bed." Jack said with a laugh before he let out a cough.
"Stop talking, you need rest." I say as I put the towel down and stand before he grabs my hand. "Please... Stay with me." He whisper making me look at him, his eyes were closed, his breathing was heavy and hallow. I sigh as I see him move over so I can join him in bed and he wraps his arms around me. "Don't fall asleep." He whisper making me smile, "It's going to be hard not too." I say as I feel my eyes getting heavy. Not long, I hear Jack's breathing start to slow down meaning his was a sleep. I closed my eyes, it won't hurt to just close them a little right?
***
I woke up not feeling Jack's arms around me anymore. I turn over to see he wasn't laying next to me anymore. "Shit." I say as I sit up and get out of bed. "Jack?" I say as I get out of his room to see him in the living room sitting on the couch looking at his computer with his glasses on. But that's not what made me stop quickly, it was the fact that he wasn't wearing anything but boxer shorts. I step quietly but he heard me and looked over at me, he wasn't looking any better and I could still see his hands shaking.
"Hey..." He cleared his throat trying to hide the fact that he was still weak, "Did I wake you? I'm sorry you just looked...." "What are you doing Frost? Why are you out of bed and working?" I ask crossing my arms trying to forget the fact that he was half naked in front of me. "I.. I had emails to answer and this..." He started as I started to walk to him and close the laptop. "Elsa this is important." Jack sighed as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose annoyed by me. "I don't care, your health is more important now get back to bed." I say and point to his bedroom.
He looks up at me before he stands so he's taller then me trying to intimidate me a little but I was trying to hold my own. "Do you remember who you are talking to Moon-Chan? I'm your boss!" He yells. "And I don't want you to die! I care about you!" I yell back before I could stop myself. But what I said pushed Jack back a little, "You care about me?" He ask making me laugh as I sat down in the chair behind me. "You really think I would do all of this? Skip school to take care of you? And did you forget this?" I ask as I take my necklace out still wearing the ring. "I'm your fake girlfriend and fiancée. Would I go through this if I didn't care for you a little?" I ask.
"I still don't even know why this ring is so important." I say as Jack lowers himself down back into the couch next to me. "It's my mother's." He say making me look at him before I look back at the ring, "It's Amy's?" I ask making him nod, "It's her first ring my dad gave her when they meet. She told me to give it to someone..." He stopped. "Someone?" I ask but he just turned away form me and stood back up. "I'm getting lightheaded again, I think I'll go lay down and drink some more of your tea." He says as he starts to walk back to his room. I could feel my hand start to go into a fist, he was breaking a rule.
"By the way what is in that tea? It's really good." He said as I stand and look at him, "You are breaking a rule." I say not looking at him. "Elsa please..." "Why won't you tell me about this ring? What did you mom say!?" I ask my anger taking over. "I can't tell you." He says so calmly. "Why? What is it that's so scary to say?" I yell making him walk over to me. "If I say what my mother's says then this whole thing will change and I can't have that happen!" Jack answer his voice raising.
We were so close again, neither one of us moving. "You said you cared about me, do you understand how that makes me feel?" He ask making me confused, what dose this have to do with anything? "Well I would hope you'd be happy that I consider you as a friend. You told me when we started this that you will never love me." I say making the words hurt, "You should be damn happy I said I care for you and that I have you as a friend. What more do you want me to say? That I like you? Why? Why would me liking you change anything huh?" I ask feeling tears go into my eyes.
Jack can't know that I like him, because that's not even true. I had a crush on him when I first meet him, I started to like him when we got into our fights but I never admit it to anyone or even to myself. Now I was in love with him and I knew he didn't love me back and he wouldn't love me back because of Birdie and there was nothing I could do about it but hide my feelings from him and live with being his friend and his worker.
I did the stupid thing and blink making a tear go down my cheek, I wasn't fast enough to wipe it away before Jack saw it. "Elsa..." Jack said looking at me as I turn my head away from him, I can't look at him anymore. I hear him sigh, "I'm sorry..." I hear him say before I hear footsteps and his door closing as I fall to the ground and start to cry. Why was I getting so worked up over this? Maybe it's because I didn't think I'd fall this fast, and falling without someone catching you is the worse feeling in the world.
Hey guys! I finally got another update up! It's been a crazy week with car shopping but we finally found a car good for our family and I love it! Her name is Scarlett yes I am that person who names their car! I got some great ideas for this story coming up and I'm getting so excited to write them! Also since Halloween (Which is by far my favorite holiday) is coming up, I want to know. What is your favorite Halloween/horror movie? And what are your guys plans?
Since my son is only 18 months old we most likely won't take him Trick or Treating yet but next year for sure! So i think we're just going walk around the block with some friend and their kids and just enjoy family time.
I do hope you guys enjoy this update and this chapter hopefully the next update will be soon. As always guys, sorry for my grammar and spelling, leave me a comment letting me what you think and I'll see you guys soon!
~KittyKat