Seventeen
“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. The last thing, the very last thing I want, is to see Kirsten.
“I thought we could catch up.” She grins, but there’s no joy in it. Instead it’s full of threats. “But first I have to ask you something.”
I set my coffee on a nearby dresser and take a few wary steps away from her. Kirsten is like a ticking time bomb; you never know when she’s going to go off or what she’s going to do.
“Ask me what?” I pray that my father will be home soon. Surely he didn’t know she would be coming home. He wouldn’t; he couldn’t put me through this after what I just faced.
Kirsten takes a step towards me, looking down as she meets my gaze. “Who are you right now, Gemma?” She asks, a smirk on her lips. “Are you the part that lets everything out? Or the part that doesn’t remember?”
I give her a confused expression. “What are you talking about?”
“Ah,” she replies, nodding her head as she studies me. “I know which one you are right now. Poor, poor little Gemma.”
“Get the fuck out of my room,” I scream, not wanting to be around her anymore. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I do know you’re not supposed to be here! If you don’t leave right now, I’ll call my dad, and then the cops!”
Kirsten starts laughing before brushing past me and out of my room. She makes a big scene, bumping my cast and I’m thankful that it’s not painful. I spin as she leaves, but when she’s out, she turns around to face me.
“Maybe you should look under your bed, Gemma. Then maybe you’ll remember.”
When I hear the front door click shut as Kirsten leaves, I finally move and let out a loud sigh. I have no idea what she’s talking about, but knowing her, she’s just trying to play mind games with me. She’s always done that. I remember right after the accident happened she tried to even make me take my own life by telling me that it’s not going to get better.
Obviously I didn’t. But what kind of step-mom does that? The bitch kind.
Knowing she’s trying to play mind games, I refuse to do as she says and look under my bed. Whatever is there, she’s put just to make me angry and upset. For a while I try to distract myself with TV, drawing, and anything else I can think of. But eventually, I make my way back to my bedroom. This is exactly what Kirsten planned. She knows I won’t be able to resist what’s waiting for me.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I climb down to my knees and bend over. Looking under, at first I don’t see anything. But after a few moments, I spot it in the far corner. It takes crawling all the way under my bed for me to reach it, and when I do, I realize that it’s a paper-sized brown envelope.
Confused, I plop down on my bed and open the unsealed paper. I feel almost the same way as I did when my mother wrote me, but I push the thought to the back of my mind. The last thing I want to think of is being reunited with her.
Pulling it open with my fingers, I look inside the envelope to find a bunch papers. At first I’m confused when I take them out, but when I see them, my mouth falls open and they fall onto my lap.
Sitting on me, are a bunch of printed out photographs. However, as tears stream down my face for the hundredth time today, I can’t believe what they are of. Mellissa lies dead on the pavement, her body exactly the way it looked when I saw her. Most of them are of her head, where the major wound is that reveals the inside of her skull and brain.
I feel my stomach lurch as I drop them onto the floor. On every spare inch of the white paper, is the same word that was written across my cabin walls.
DEAD.
I run to the bathroom and throw up into the toilet, the images forever burned in my mind. It takes me a while of lying on the cool tile to come to the realization that Kirsten had to be the one to leave the notes and write everything on the walls. But how? How can she be at the camp without me knowing?
I try to figure it out during the three hours I wait for my dad. Even after all this time, I can’t put the pieces together. It just doesn’t add up. When I hear him come in, I rush to stack the papers together, not allowing myself to look at them.
“Dad!” I cry, rushing down the spiral staircase. “Dad, oh my god, Dad!”
He looks completely stunned as I rush to him, not even giving him a chance to take off his shoes. When he sees the papers in my hands, his eyes grow wide.
“Gemma, what is going on? What are you holding?”
I hand it to him and cover my mouth with my palm. He looks at the first few, his face growing pale before placing them face down on a nearby table. Before he can speak again, I tell him that Kirsten showed up and what she told me. When I’m finished, he pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head in disbelief.
“Kirsten didn’t do this,” he sighs, avoiding my gaze. “She wouldn’t do something like this.”
My mouth falls open and I start to sob. “What are you talking about? The evidence is clear. Look!” I pull the two notes I received at camp out of my back pocket and tell him what happened with Scarlett’s blood. “How would she have known about the pictures anyways?”
“I can’t deal with this right now, Gemma,” he says angrily. “You’re going back to Haven tomorrow and you should go to bed. We’re leaving early tomorrow, and you can talk about what happened with Michelle. She will explain what’s going on.”
I throw my hands in the air angrily. “Why can’t you explain since you obviously know? This is serious!”
“Go to bed, Gemma!” He yells. His voice booms through the house and I know I’m defeated. I head up to my room to attempt sleep, my head filled with more questions than answers.
~~~
“We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of Mellissa Gathers, and lay her soul to rest.”
I don’t bother to wipe the tears from my cheeks as I sit in the front row, beside Mellissa’s parents. They refuse to look at me and I don’t blame them. Most of the service goes by in a numb haze, and I barely hear anyone speak. When I’m called up to say my piece, I still feel completely out of it.
At the altar in the graveyard, I avoid making eye contact with anybody. “Mellissa was- and always will be, my best friend. We did everything together. I was there with her when she…” I trail off, hearing her mother start to sob. “One of the things she always told me, was that one day we were going to laugh together as old ladies about the silly things that happened to us. But I guess that’s never going to happen…” With downcast eyes, I rub my finger over the scab on my thumb, remembering the night as if it’s happening right now.
After her father makes a speech, unable to finish it due to his crying, we all stand to watch the casket be lowered into the earth. It’s closed, as Mellissa’s body was beyond repair. And I can’t help but wonder if she looks exactly as I saw her that night on the pavement as she did in the casket.
Even after the service is finished, I stay seated in my chair, staring down at the fresh dirt. I wonder if she blames me; it was my idea to go out that night. I wonder if she’s watching me right now, angry for the fact that I got to live when she didn’t. She was always the good girl, and I the bad. She deserves to live when I don’t.
“Oh my,” I hear someone whisper.
I turn around to find a woman dressed in black, a few yards away. She crosses her heart with her fingers in prayer before briefly meeting my eyes. At first, I thought she was just a random woman. But as I meet her gaze, I recognize her.
“Mom?” I ask, reaching for her. She looks alarmed before quickly hurrying away, leaving me to myself…
~~~
“Gemma, we’re here.”
Someone shakes my shoulder, stirring me from my sleep. I open my eyes, happy to be out of my dream, which in fact, is more of a memory. My head’s leaning against the window of my father’s Beamer, and outside, I can see Safe Haven, looking exactly how I left it.
“See you soon.”
My father doesn’t bother to get out of the car or even hug me goodbye. Feeling angry and upset, I throw open the car door and grab my back. Slamming it, I don’t bother to look back as my dad drives away, leaving me.
“Hey!”
I look to see Rhyson walking quickly towards me, a smile on his face. He opens his arms as he reaches me and I’m wrapped in his warm hug. I feel safer within his arms than I did at home, and regardless of the circumstances, I’m glad to be back here.
“I missed you,” I whisper as he kisses my forehead. “Walk me to my cabin?”
“Sure,” he smiles, sliding an arm around my waist. In his free hand he grabs my bag as we slowly walk down the trail. “How was your trip back home?”
“Eventful,” I nod, giving him a knowing smile. “But some good things came from it.”
“Same.” He kisses my cheek and his lips linger there when he speaks. “It was good for us to face the things we couldn’t before. Good things will come from it.”
“I think so too,” I smile as my cabin comes into view. My expression instantly changes and I wonder what it is going to look like on the inside.
“They cleaned it up,” Rhyson tells me quietly. “If that’s what you’re worried about.”
I nod and take his hand, letting him lead me into my temporary home. Inside, everything looks exactly as it did before what happened to Scar.
“Have you heard anything?”
Rhyson shakes his head. “I’d wait to ask Melody or Ember when they get back. They were pretty close to her, so I assume they visited her in the hospital.”
I nod again, before plopping onto my bed. Something quickly comes into realization that wasn’t there before. If the same person who hurt Scarlett is the person leaving me the notes, she would have to know. If it is Kirsten, she’ll say so.
My eyes grow wide as Rhyson watches me curiously.
“I need to go visit Scarlett.”