"What's up with you?" Mina asks while walking in the room you share, and finds you sitting on your bed with wide, sunken eyes. "You look like you just witnessed a murder."
Staying silent, you register her words in your overly-crowded mind.
Tell her. Tell her everything. Now's your chance.
"I-" What did you do? Tell her. "I was just having a staring contest with myself. See?"
Laughing nervously, you point at the mirror that sits across from you that you were sure enough looking into. Your mouth forms a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.
You lied.
"Okay..." Mina says skeptically while looking in the mirror. "Anyways, where were you? I heard when I got back that you didn't make it to the next shoot in the bedrooms."
Coming up with the first excuse you can think of in your head, you reply. "Oh, I had a stomachache, but I'm better now."
You fake another nervous smile before shifting your attention to the open windows that reveal the darkness of the night that slowly consumes and drains out all of the light.
"Funny..." She trails off while shaking her head. "Jungkook was late and said the same thing."
Taking a gulp, you wait for Mina to connect the dots.
But she doesn't.
"I guess something is going around then, huh?" She sighs. "I just hope I don't get it."
Releasing a breath of relief, you slide back on the bed and onto your side. "Yeah I think I caught something on the way over," you lie again.
You want to tell her the truth, you want to tell her everything.
But how could you?
-
"Just this once," he chants out again while kissing you lightly.
His hands fist and tug at the material of your shirt that hangs below your waist, as if he's scared to let go.
At this point, even your hands have made their way up to the firmness of his shoulders.
His soft, tender lips make work to your slightly chapped ones. You feel as he tastes tentatively with his tongue as he traces it across the bottom of your lip.
As he continuously shifts his head, his actions prove to counter your own, as you stay completely still; paralyzed under his touch and letting him take control.
Every sense seems to be heightened within you, and you the taste the smooth, vanilla gloss you applied to his lips earlier that's surprisingly still there.
By now all sense and logic is completely gone from your body. You're completely and utterly enraptured by this boy in front of you, and there's nothing in you that tells you to stop.
That is until you curl your toes and feel warmth that radiates off of the powdery sand below your feet.
Until you squint your eyes that are still being affected by the setting sun that's ever as bright.
Until you realize that you're still outside when the sounds of waves crashing up on the beach ring in your ears like a reminder.
Nothing tells you to stop until you realize that you, right in that moment are, in fact, kissing Jeon Jungkook.
Pulling away, your breath hitches while taking in everything.
Everything is just so messed up, so wrong. It's so clouded even though the sky above is so clear.
You can't think straight as you take a step back while quickly placing a hand on your forehead.
"Y-you can't just kiss me." You say weakly, your voice threatening to waver.
"Why?" He questions, brows knitting as he raises his hand as if trying to reach out for you, before quickly putting it back down. "You kissed me back."
Gritting your teeth out of confused anger and shaking your head, you clench your fist. "Stop it. You're making no sense."
"How?"
"STOP!" You finally burst. "God, Jungkook! What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say? Look at how you've been acting."
Furrowing his eyebrows even further as you point at him, he frowns.
"This needs to stop right now. I can't handle it." You shake your confused head. "You can't keep this up because I don't know what I'm going to do if you do."
"No," he says simply; quietly. "And I'm not sorry."
Scoffing with one quick, disappointed breath, you shake your head before turning around.
"I'm not sorry," he repeats softly while grabbing your hand from behind, "for wanting what I want."
Pulling you towards him so your back meets his chest, he whispers in your ear.
"I'm not sorry for wanting you."
You hear the shakiness in his voice, the way his hand is trembling above your own. You can feel how strong the fear of rejection he has while saying this.
Turning around, a tear threatens to fall from your almond eyes.
As you look forward at the boy that's the cause of all of these emotions to pour out of you, you shake your head.
"No... I can't..." Stumbling back, you pull your hand out of his hold, and you see the hurt in his eyes as he doesn't attempt to stop you.
Before you have any time for hesitation or second guesses, you turn around before running like it's the only thing you can do.
-
And so as Mina patiently asks where you were, you know as the memory floods your head once again.
You want to tell her so badly, but you just can't.
***
The next morning arrives as if night never came. Your mind, no matter how hard you tried, would not rest. And after many hours of thinking, it still refuses, leaving you a tired mess for the rest of the day to come.
Thankfully today would be spent filming the boys for another part of the summer package, which requires very little of the artists.
You knew breakfast with all the others would alone bring you bouts of unnecessary nervousness, so you stay behind and in the comfort of you and Mina's shared room.
Upon many other things that were on your mind last night, a constant question that rang in your head was if someone else knew what had happened. It wasn't like you and Jungkook were in some secluded space.
You were outside for anyone's viewing.
How could you face the others if they knew? What if Jungkook told them?
And above all else, how could you face Jungkook himself after what happened?
All of it just seemed too hard to handle, and just thinking of being here for another week seems incomprehensible at this point.
It didn't take much convincing to make Mina believe you had another stomachache, which is why you so easily got to stay back.
So, with a light knitted blanket and slippers on, your hair in a bun, you walk out onto the empty deck that you haven't been able to enjoy properly yet.
The morning air isn't as thick or humid as it is later in the day, and the sun doesn't beat down on you harshly.
Instead, the slight breeze allows enough for a light blanket to suffice.
The elevated platform has a clear view of the beach below, and of course the beautiful water that somehow clears your cluttered mind, even though it's only for a little bit.
And as if the sentence summoned the moment to be ruined, the screen door behind you opens, revealing another room separate from the one you came from.
Turning to see who it could be, you come face to face with Min Yoongi, his pale, unchanging face, looking you in the eyes.
Even though it was just yesterday when you were afraid of seeing him after the whole Asher ordeal, you're somehow relieved to see above many others who could've came out here.
"Oh, hi." You greet him casually, noticing his baggy apparel and tired eyes. He just woke up.
"Why didn't you go eat breakfast with the others?" You ask, turning back around and resting your arms on the rail of the deck.
Coming up beside you, he too rests his arms lazily on the railing. "Why didn't you?"
"I asked first."
"I asked second."
Releasing a sigh, you shrug your shoulders. "I don't feel the best. What about you?"
"I was asleep," he says with a yawn, his bangs covering his dark eyes. "I need my sleep and breakfast I can go without."
Nodding your head in understanding, you both take in the scenery of the island. As peaceful as it was when he wasn't out here with you, the sudden presence of someone beside you makes a feeling of calmness surround you.
It's as if having someone there will help save you from your own thoughts that take over when it's just you and yourself.
"Were you feeling ill yesterday as well?" He asks, yawning once again and resorting to laying his chin on his folded arms.
Even the thought of yesterday sends you into another frenzy in itself. "No, why?"
"Just wondering. You weren't at the shoot in the afternoon." Taking a gulp, the memories find their way back once again from the previous night. "Kookie was late."
Is he testing me? You think nervously. Does he know?
"I guess it doesn't really affect me," he finally says upon your silence. "Asher was still there, after all. Speaking of which, weren't you and Mina saying something about him the other day?"
Is he joking with you? Or is this his was of telling you that he heard what you said about Asher liking him?
"That's really not any of your business," you quickly fire back. "Isn't Haneul your artist anyways?"
Smirking in amusement, he shifts his head. "Well, he's my friend, so I was just looking out for him. I wouldn't want any rumors going around about him."
Yoongi and Asher? Friends?
A scoff threatens to escape your lips, but you suppress it.
"It's none of your business what me and Mina talk about, and it would never be our intention to hurt Asher." Turning around, you clutch onto the fabric of your blanket. "Goodbye, Yoongi."
"I know what you did."
Those five, short words that exit him mouth are the cause of your abrupt stop, as well as the sudden dryness of your mouth.
Because in that moment, you know the answer to all those questions from earlier.
Yoongi knows.
[A/N]
Unedited.
Hello my amazing Ramies, how have y'all been? I hope you enjoyed this chapter today!
I don't have anything else to report other than that I'll hopefully be updating more frequently now that my scheduling is clearing up a bit more!
Please make sure to leave your thoughts and vote! And as always, have a nice day!
Please be sure to rest well!!
- Ichiranramen <3