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"Hey, are you alright?" I just didn't know
what to say.
He seemed confused, deceived and lost. I felt the same but just a little more broken than usual.These days our conversations seemed dead. We never laughed or joked like usual.
______________
That same dream woke me up every single day afraid and kept me thinking he was still around , but he wasn't.
To be honest, I've never seen any of that before it's just bugging me in my dreams.
My eyes flicked open and I gazed at the window.
Today the sky looked dull. It felt like the sky was sad. There was not even a sign of birds or butterflies that would usually hang around in our backyard.
As the morning mist faded, I watched the neighbours cats running across the yard, they looked so enthusiastic. I really wish I was that enthusiastic, to even put a smile on my face would take a lot.
It's fall now, the leaves are slowly turning brown and the weather is becoming colder. The strong breeze blew the blue curtains that hung upon my window and the seashell chimes that I made last year. As I listened to the beautiful sound of the chimes when I felt a light tap on my back.
There stood Alice, she looked at me and gave me a hug.
"Em, what are you doing to yourself? Forget about that bastard, you have a life babe. Everything will get better I promise."
As she said that tears started to flow from Emma's eyes. Her heartbeat was slow, it almost felt so slow it could stop anytime soon. She then wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Amen."
Alice smiled.
God maybe took away many things from me but to this day I'm still grateful that he didn't take away Alice.
"Let's have breakfast, you must be hungry." Said Alice as she stood up. Emma said nothing and followed her to the kitchen.
When she walked into the kitchen I heard the same song that Will and I danced to during prom.
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"Emma, this song always hits hard and as I look in your eyes I feel so mesmerised. Please don't look away." He said that to me as we slowly danced that night.
Everything clashed in my head.
She stared at his eyes and let me warn you, you'll never be able to look away.
She remembered everything, his grip, hands and his fingertips that stroke the side of her waist as we danced.
It's crazy how it all ended in a blink of an eye.
________________
Alice quickly turned off the radio. She knew that this song would bring back those unnecessary memories, at least for her.
"Sit down you rascal." She told me as she served breakfast and smiled afterwards.
I smiled and said "Okay mom."
The mouthwatering smell of caramel pancakes filled the kitchen and the smell of coffee made me crave.
/..
After the amazing breakfast she decided to take a bath. Once the tub was filled, she sat in it. The warmth of the water made her feel so relieved, it felt like all the pain, stress and thoughts could run down her blood and out of her veins.
She whole body felt numb but it was the best feeling in the world. She changed after being in the tub for half an hour.
As she wiped the thin layer of condensation on the mirror she stared at that image she saw in the mirror.
She looked sad, she looked helpless, she felt half dead but most of all she looked lost. She looked away immediately, and walked out of the bathroom.
/..
"On your way home could you get me some kimchi ramen?" Asked Alice as she walked me out.
"Yes Mom." Emma agreed as she stepped in her car.
"What the hell, do I even look that old?" Alice asked as Emma drove away.
/..
On my her to the hospital, she came across an old man whom was struggling to cross the road.
Emma decided to stop her car and help him.
As she did so there was an elderly woman approaching him. She watched them cross the road together while laughing and smiling. When she saw this Emma immediately thought of her parents.
She was sent to a boarding school when she was 15. There she was thought to survive in this world alone. Emma felt horrible there, lonely and sad.
It was an old convent and she was raised by sisters. Her parents told her that she had no self control, no manners, no respect and many other things, so she was sent there.
Emma never truly felt love or appreciation from her parents or relatives. When Emma was in the convent she was bullied by many other girls, from that, Emma always thought that hope was lost and that she was alone.
That's when she met Sister Veronica . Sister Veronica was her inspiration. She was there for Emma when she was lost and she was also there for her when she faced problems in her life during that point of time. God then decided to take her away when Emma turned 17 and two years later Emma's parents in a car crash.
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It was rainy night that evening just one week before our summer school holiday. I remember walking down the stairs with my books in my hand heading towards the vending machine.
"Where do you think you're going?" Asked one of my seniors.
"To the vending machine, I haven't eaten..."
"Who cares, you can't go there!" Said another one of those girls as she grabbed me by my hair and tossed me to ground.
My knees hit the hard concrete floor and my palms following.
"Ow!"
"Exactly, know your place." Said the first girl as she took her chocolate milk and poured it on me.
Tears started rushing down from my face. I didn't understand why they did that, I'm not as pretty, famous or anything like they think, so I didn't know why they did this to me.
I laid on the ground with messy hair and wet clothes for almost and hour now, week and sore until I heard a familiar voice.
"My God, Emma!" Exclaimed Sister Veronica as she walked towards me then helped me up.
I smiled.
Finally.
"Thank you."
/..
After helping me up and handing me her cardigan, she walked me up to my dorm.
"Don't let these people get to you. You know your worth so let them be." She said as she tapped my shoulder.
I nodded as I smiled.
/..
*2 YEARS LATER *
"Emma, I think we need to go now... You can't be waiting here forever." Alice said as she tapped on Emma's shoulder that looked down to Sister Veronica's grave.
Emma said nothing.
"You go ahead first." Emma said as she stared at her feet.
Alice nodded and left.
That day was the day Emma started giving up on life. Why she didn't know, but Sister Veronica was a big milestone in her life.
_________________
"Dr. Emma, Mr. Park would like to see you in his office." Said the clerk that worked on the first floor as she walked in.
Emma felt a little light headed. The fact that the Ceo of this hospital wants to see some medical officer alone in his office makes me feel sceptical.
/..
"Good morning sir, I heard you were looking for me?" Emma said as she walked in.
"Dr. Lyle have a seat."
"You've been working so hard so I decided to give you a break." He said while flipping through his paperwork.
"A break?" She asked suspiciously.
"Yes, it's more of a business trip but for doctors. You and your fellow coworkers would be going to France on the 23th for a gala." He said while handing her a flight ticket and a form. "You can ask Peter, for more details." He continued.
"Alright you can leave."
"Thank you." She said while she walked out.
He didn't even give her a chance to even think about it. But anyways, she needed a break so she decided to just going to go.
/..
Emma took a stroll after work around the neighborhood. The she continued to walk towards the park that was located in her neighborhood. She sat on a bench and looked around. And it all came in her head again.
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"Emma, stop that it tickles." William said.
"Hey, I'm not going to. You promised to get me ice cream on your way back and you didn't so take this!" I said as I continued to tickle him.
"I'm going to get you back." William said as he started to chase me.
"Will, don't you dare!" I said as i ran.
"Baby, I DARE!" He said as he chased me.
Eventually he caught me and we fell onto the soft green grass.
"Look at the stars, they remind me of you." He said as he held me.
"Yeah, beautiful right." I said while I giggled.
"Nah, my girlfriend is prettier." He as he smiled at me.
That feeling is impossible to relieve.
I wish I could turn back the time just to feel it again. I want appreciation and love from the person I love the most.
We walked home after a few minutes.
"Babe, I love you." Will said as he hugged me.
"I love you too." I said as I walked into my house.
That day, stayed with me.
______________
Take me back.
I left after a while because siting here could make me go mad.