Sixteen
“Gemma, time for dinner!”
I flop onto my stomach on my bed. Basically for the last few days, all I did was hang out in my room by myself. My dad was either in his office, getting a head start on work or out somewhere, not asking if I wanted to come. Calling me for dinner is the first thing he’s said since out fallout in the living room.
“Please?”
Groaning, I pull my face out of my pillow and drag myself through the house. As soon as I’m on the ground, warm smells hit me in waves. My stomach growls as I practically float towards out large, granite kitchen.
“Surprise,” my dad smiles, gesturing to the large dining table covered in a feast that’s much too big for only us.
“What’s the occasion?” I ask cautiously as he pulls mu usual chair out for me at the long end of the wooden table. For all I know, this can be a peace offering because Kirsten is coming back.
“Well, I was talking to Michelle,” he starts, sitting at the head of the table. He leans forward and clasps his hands together. “And she said that I should do something we’ve stopped doing. So I decided to make the big weekend dinner that we used to do before…” He trails off.
“You got married to Kirsten,” I finish. He nods and starts cutting the large piece of steak.
As I reach for the big bowl of salad, I check the clock. It’s only four-thirty, which is much too early for dinner. He has something planned for after and I’m pretty sure I know what it is.
“Eat up, Gem,” my father smiles, calling me by my long-lost nickname. For a little while, I forget about out fight. In fact, I forget about every fight. Things seem normal, like they used to before Kirsten.
For the first time in a while, I eat.
~~~
“Way to pick the rainiest day,” I mutter, hugging my navy raincoat tight against me. My dad pulls my hood up before ushering me out the front door and into his Beamer.
“I didn’t count on the weather being like this,” he says lightly, starting the car. He doesn’t pull out of the driveway right away. First, he drops his hands in his lap and looks deflated. “Look, Gemma, about what happened-“
“It’s fine,” I tell him, cutting him off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“No, it’s not,” he sighs, meeting my gaze through his foggy glasses. “I’m supposed to help you get better and here I am making things worse. I guess I’m just stressed out and I’m taking it out on you.”
For a few moments we’re silent before I speak up. “My homecoming is stressing you out?” I whisper, feeling hurt.
“No,” he says, giving me a sad smile. “It’s not that. It’s Kirsten.”
Even though it’s wrong, I feel a small part of me grow happy. “What’s going on with you and Kirsten?”
“Things between us have been…” he pauses, looking for the right word. “Strained.”
“Is it my fault?”
He avoids my gaze and pulls out of the driveway. “Partially. But it’s more of Kirsten’s approach to your recovery. She doesn’t think it’s best for you to be here.”
“In other words,” I reply, “she wants me gone.”
My father shrugs as I stare at the rain hitting my window. “Trust me when I tell you, Gemma, that I don’t want you gone. I think it’s best for you to be with me. Kirsten doesn’t understand that.”
The rest of the drive goes by in silence. I think my dad is finally starting to see my side of things and even though I should be happy about that, my mind wanders elsewhere. I don’t want to go back to the place I haven’t been since the accident. I don’t want my dreams to become a reality.
“It will be okay, Gem,” my dad whispers, grabbing my hand. He gives it a squeeze before pulling over on the side of a deserted road.
As much as I want his support, I give him a small smile and let go of his hand.
“I know. I just think this is something I have to face by myself.” He nods as I open the car door and step out into the rain. “Maybe you can go grab us some Starbucks?”
He nods and I shut the door, leaving myself in the pouring rain. He drives away and thunder sounds in the distance. For whatever reason, he parked about a three minute walk away from the spot, but regardless I’m grateful.
Shoving my hands in my jacket pockets, I make my way down the deserted, foggy street, desperately trying to clear my mind. When I near the place, I can see a figure through the fog, a dark jacket covering their shape. I can tell it’s a a man. Slowly, I come to a stop, wondering what they’re doing.
I don’t know how long I stand on the side of the road, getting pelted by rain before I realize that they’re here for the same reason I am. Slowly I approach them, walking through puddles that soak through my shoes.
The man doesn’t look up as I reach him. Standing beside him, I recognize who he is. For a while, we stand there, staring down at the ground before either of us decides to speak. It’s him first.
“I don’t blame you, Gemma.” The familiarity of his voice shocks me. He pulls his hood back slightly so I can see him better and I can tell that he’s been crying. “It wasn’t your fault. You were hurt too.”
I shake my head, the tears already threatening my eyes. Avoiding his gaze, I stare at the pavement instead.
“You should.”
“Do you really believe that this was your fault?” He asks, grabbing my shoulder. Gently, he turns me to face him. “Because it’s not. You couldn’t have changed the outcome. You weren’t the one driving, the one who killed her.” The tears begin to flow and I can’t tear my eyes away from Mellissa’s father. “You shouldn’t fill guilty for living when Mellissa didn’t, Gemma. You should be thankful that at least you survived. She would want that.”
He doesn’t let go of my shoulder but instead gives it a reassuring squeeze. He had always been like a second dad to me, but after the accident, I just couldn’t face him. I was at the funeral, but ever since I just couldn’t see him or his wife after that.
“I know you’re dealing with a lot right now. With the loss, and other issues, but just know that Mellissa’s mother and I want you to get over this. We don’t blame you, in fact, we’re thankful that if we couldn’t be the ones who were with her in her last moments, that it was you.”
He wraps me in a tight hug but I still don’t respond, or even bother to hug him back. There’s something scratching the surface, a memory that I can’t place exactly, but I know that it makes me nervous to be around him.
Mellissa’s father leaves without another word and I’m finally alone on the deserted street. If I thought that facing him was what I came here to do, I was wrong. Now is when the real hell begins; where I start to relive the nightmare.
Sucking in a deep breath, I make my way to the middle of the street, checking for cars. I close my eyes as I step into the exact spot that I was when the accident happened. When I open my eyes, I see Mellissa standing beside me, laughing. The scene quickly turns back to the empty pavement but I replay the memory in front of me like I’m watching a movie.
She steps out as we walk across the street and then I hear the screeching. Even though it isn’t real, it’s so loud in my mind that I want to cover my ears. I reach for Mellissa’s hand, wanting to pull her towards me but it’s too late. She screams as the car comes towards us. Now, I want to jump out of the way, but my feet refuse to budge. Maybe it’s because I know I won’t be facing it if I change the memory, or maybe it’s because I really am frozen in place.
I watch in horror as Mellissa gets hit first and before I can scream, I brace myself for impact, expecting the car to hit me. But just as real as it feels, the car goes through me and then it’s over. I don’t go flying, there’s no pain throughout my body. I’m not even on the ground.
I brush the scar on my hand as I take a few steps toward my next place. Blinking away fresh tears, I lower myself onto the pavement and lie down, staring up at the rain clouds. The drops pelt my face but I ignore them. They feel too distant for me to care about getting wet as I turn onto my side.
A faint, almost see-through memory of Mellissa lies on the ground, unmoving. In my head I scream for her as I drag myself towards her. When I’m beside her, I reach out for her but she disappears and my hand grasps nothing.
“Dead,” I whisper to myself, my voice hoarse from crying. “She’s really dead.”
~~~
“Are you okay?” My father asks softly, gently touching my shoulder. I nod and look away, trying to get rid of the tears that refuse to stop falling. “I have to go into work quick. Something went wrong and I have to fix it. Will you be okay on your own for a little while?”
I nod again as we pull into the driveway. Grabbing my coffee, I lean over and he gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“See you soon, Gems. I’m proud of you.”
I can’t help but smile to myself as I step out into the rain again. Thunder booms overhead as I rush up the steps, waving to my dad as he drives away. Happy to be out of the rain, I step into the house and shut the door behind me. With downcast eyes, I take off my raincoat and head up the spiral staircase, wanting to change out of my soaking clothes.
I’ve just stepped into my room when I notice that someone is there waiting for me. My mouth falls open as they stand up off my bed and take a few steps towards me.
“Hello, Gemma,” Kirsten smirks, stopping a few feet away. “Long time no see.”
A/N: I've entered this in the Watty Awards under Teen Fiction so PLEASE vomment! It would mean a lot! :) I hope you like it so far!