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Recap chap 10:
"Aria, I love you, more than Selene, more than I've loved anyone. I will have you, in all the ways I promised." I wanted to protest, but there was nothing I could have said. I knew I wanted him too, though it killed me to have admitted it. I had my truth, I just hadn't wanted to admit it.
He left me to my thoughts, left me the time I needed to come to terms with myself. The line between love and lust was very thin, and it was blurrier by the minute.
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Chapter 11: Self-Loathing
Arianna POV
I stood in front of the mirror and admired the sight before me. The dress was lovely, a deep teal to match my eyes. Soft satin hugged my shoulders, and gave way to a heart shaped neckline that melded into a tight bodice. Billowy layers covered my hips and fell loosely to my ankles. My hair was pinned gently atop my head with wisps of hair that framed my face. It was a beautiful sight, breathtaking.
But I hadn't felt beautiful, I felt monstrous, hideous. Shadows of guilt leaked from my soul. How could I have stood next to Selene? Faced her, faced Ronan, and faced Xavier, knowing what I'd done. I wanted to die. I wanted to fall into the black hole in my heart. I had to get it together. I couldn't have let this show on my face.
I wished the King hadn't ignored Xavier's request. He went to his father, begged to be removed from the wedding proceedings, but the King refused him. It would have shown weakness if the Prince hadn't stood beside his brother and celebrated his union. We couldn't have that. We wouldn't have wanted King Asteroth to look foolish before his subjects, both vampire and human. He decided no transgression had occurred since no 'rules' were broken. Neither Ronan, nor Xavier were happy with the decision. But they were left with no choice. The King's decisions were final.
I begrudgingly went to the sitting room to help Selene get ready. I never wanted to do it, knowing the way I felt about the man she was going to marry. Suck it up. Do your duty as future Princess and Queen. I paused a long moment, let out a deep breath and all the guilt inside along with it. I opened the door and my gaze fell upon Selene.
She stood before the window, looked rather beautiful. Her dress was similar to mine, but white, beaded and sluttier. How fitting. I couldn't let the venom in my thoughts show on my face.
"Selene, you look lovely." I announced pleasantly.
"Dear Arianna, how nice of you to join me. I wasn't sure you could... tear yourself away from Ronan." She commented, her voice steady and calm. I stood there, shocked, like I was punched in the chest.
"I do have one solace in all of this. He will have me before he has you. He'll feel what it's like to be inside me, and taste my essence, long before he has a chance to be with you. I'll have Xavier too. I'm not sure they'll want you when I'm through with them." Her words were sickly sweet but I knew she'd meant the opposite. The blood must have drained from my face and left behind a look of sheer panic, because she continued with a false attempt to console me.
"Don't worry sweetheart. He doesn't know about you and Ronan, and I don't plan to tell him." She announced while she made her exit.
"At least not yet."
I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, and couldn't move. I stood there. I just stood there. Panic threatened to overtake me. I needed to talk to Ronan, he could have kept her quiet. If this had gotten out... I couldn't hurt Xavier. I loved him. I couldn't have stood by and watched Ronan marry that evil bitch, but I couldn't have hurt him either. I loved him. I loved them both.
Selene POV
Arianna walked in the door, just as I expected. Great here comes the Whore. If I wanted my plan to work, I needed to plant the seed.
"Selene, you look lovely." I announced pleasantly.
"Dear Arianna, how nice of you to join me. I wasn't sure you could... tear yourself away from Ronan." I smirked.
"I do have one solace in all of this. He will have me before he has you. He'll feel what it's like to be inside me, and taste my essence, long before he has a chance to be with you. I'll have Xavier too. I'm not sure they'll want you when I'm through with them." My sickly sweet tone had her crawling in her skin. It looked like my plan had worked. Soon enough, she wouldn't have either one of them.
"Don't worry sweetheart. He doesn't know about you and Ronan, and I don't plan to tell him... at least not yet." If I couldn't have them both, she wouldn't have either one.
I left her broken and fearful. Revenge was sweet.
Arianna POV
I was ripped from my inner monologue by cool hands on my shoulders.
"What's wrong? Did she do something?" He was concerned. Get it together. Fucking get it together! I wanted to confess, right then and there. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted him to hate me. Despise me. But his look was compassionate, and I hadn't had the guts, so I shook my head in disagreement.
"Are you sure nothing happened?" He inquired skeptically.
"It's nothing, I just... I know how hard this is for you to be around him when he... hates you." I hadn't wanted to say the words. But I wanted to add, 'because he loves me'. Ronan had loved me, only Xavier hadn't been aware of it.
"It doesn't matter, I love you. That's all that matters to me." I longed to hear those words, but I wished he would have said the opposite. It would have made me feel better if he hated me. I hadn't wanted the first time he said he loved me to have been like this. I hadn't wanted to feel the pain, the turmoil they brought with them.
"And I love you." I was sure that I had, and I really couldn't have kept denying it. He passionately pressed his lips to mine. Our tongues danced a duet. He kissed me hard and fast. It was a kiss I'd never felt before. It wasn't a kiss of lust and desire; it was a kiss of passion and love. My skin was hot and tingled. I wanted desperately to be consumed by all that he was. His hands caressed my body in a way that should have been outlawed. I never wanted this feeling to end. He stopped before he got swept up in the moment. I was lost in his shimmering topaz eyes. He breathlessly whispered into my ear.
"I love you." He murmured. I knew it was true, and I hoped it would have been enough.
We strolled around the reception greeted guests and did our duty as expected.
"Aria, I want you meet my cousin. He's not the kindest guy, but he's great in a fight. He's vicious and cunning." He stated, in awe of his cousin's attributes. He sounded a little scary to me.
"Don't get to friendly with him." He added jokingly. Like I would have, I had enough problems. We approached a mysterious looking vampire.
"Gabriel, there you are. I want you to meet Arianna, my fiancée." He boasted, bright eyed. His eyes gleamed like a child with a new toy. It was endearing.
"Arianna, it's a pleasure." He gently gripped my hand and planted a faint kiss there. I blushed. How could I not have? He seemed like a gentleman to me. He was tall with shaggy black hair, a killer smile and amazing green eyes. Don't get too friendly, I reminded myself of Xavier's earlier sentiment.
"The pleasure is all mine Gabriel." I replied with an air of innocent flirtation.
"What a beauty you've found cousin. You're truly lucky." He flattered me. Not too friendly. Right.
"Enough Gabriel, go find your own girl." He ordered while Gabriel sauntered off toward Selene and Ronan.
"Don't mind him, he says that to all the girls."Xavier commented. That was comforting? Not so much.
"Thanks a lot." I responded. I was a little miffed.
"Anyway, rumor around the servants' quarters is that he has a soft spot for Selene. I'm glad I got out of that." He chuckled. I smacked his shoulder in response.
"Yeah, me too. I don't know what they see in her. She's a wretched whore."
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Finally Selene's POV... what does she have up her sleeve?
Comment & vote, the Shit is about to hit the fan... in the next few chapters...