Author's Note: I have a few videos throughout this chapter. Please watch/listen to them for the full effect!
"Sign of the Times" - Harry Styles
Harry's POV
I was supposed to be running on the treadmill like I do almost everyday first thing in the morning, but I've been on 'cool down' mode for the past 20 minutes. Nikki was parading around the gym in a sports bra and these damn hot pink yoga pants that show every curve of her ass. She was focused on her workout with the occasional hum and sing-a-long with the song playing through through her earbuds. I had to record a video of her lifting weights. No one ever believes me when I say that she's stronger than most guys I know.
I'm hot for it.
Please do squats next.
She does squats while lifting and I almost fly off the treadmill, grabbing the railing. I laugh then end the recording. Nikki puts down the weights and looks over her shoulder.
"We wake up early to workout and all you've done is stare at my ass!" She huffs.
"Oops...was it that obvious?" I smirk while posting the video to Instagram with the caption: My girlfriend could probably lift me over her head if she wanted to. No big deal.
"What are you doing? You look like you're up to something." She walks over, glistening in sweat, all woman and pheromones.
"I'm just showin' ya off, baby." I smile innocently.
Her phone buzzes on the band wrapped around her arm. I look around at everything but her when she checks her Instagram notification.
"Harry!" Nikki whines. "Seriously?"
"What? You don't see how sexy you are right now...all muscly and stuff." I turn the treadmill off.
"You like what you see, princess?" She holds up her arms, flexes her muscles and jokingly kisses her bicep.
"Well...yeah." I laugh, jump off the treadmill, and smack her on the ass with my red bandana.
Nikki clears her throat. I've already gotten down to do push ups, so I'd feel
somewhat productive this morning.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep us on the down low again, you know, with everything going on right now." She bows her head.
"Baby girl...c'mere and plank on top of me." I might've been gawking at her like some girl all morning, but I needed to her remind her that I was still all man. In fact, I think embracing my feminine side makes me more of man. I used to be ashamed, but not anymore.
I'm riding in on a unicorn while waving my freak flag. People can suck my dick if they don't like it.
"I'm heavy, man..." She lays across me and places a kiss behind my neck. Her legs and arms are crossed.
"Nikki, shut up. You're tiny!" I do push ups at a steady pace without any difficulty. My injured wrist wasn't bothering me at all this week, but I knew I still needed to get it looked at.
"Sooo you didn't say anything before. Do you want us to be open about our relationship? I mean, I'm sure people will know, but I don't know how guarded you want us to be..." Her voice vibrated down my back. I rather liked feeling her on top of me like this. I switch to using only one arm. Her sweet giggles and mutters of 'bloody show off' make grin from ear-to-ear.
"I'll share you with the world, not only because I inevitably have to, but because I'm also proud to call you mine. Obviously we won't share every aspect of our life. I plan on keeping you forever and a day."
"Only a day past forever? I think I wanna end this now before the doomed end!" She rolls off my back when I go down and pretends to faint on the padded floor. I crawl over and kiss her pouty lips until she's laughing for me to stop. I stare into her eyes, all laughter trailing off into silence. She tugs on my cross necklace, our lips meeting in a soft kiss that quickly gets heated.
They do say that working out together is quite the aphrodisiac.
I'm going to marry this woman.
I fucked this up before, but never again.
Our family and friends had left the day before. I made sure to spend a couple of days alone with my mum, Robin, and Gemma. Nikki didn't mind since she had some work to do. Her first single was dropping in two weeks, which was also a reminder of what little time we had left here in our sanctuary.
"We have work to do, Mrs. Co-Songwriter. If we shower together it'll be faster." I smile down at her flushed face. She pulled me down for more kisses, her tight grip on my ass causing me to grunt.
"Mrs.?" She pulls away breathlessly and raises an eyebrow.
"I'm writing the words. You're writing the music. Sounds like a marriage to me." I stand up and pick her up bridal-style, carrying her from the in-home gym to our bedroom.
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Seeing Nikki in her element was absolutely mesmerizing. Everything comes to her so naturally and I'm not even sure how she takes the vague ideas I think of and knows exactly what I mean and what to do with them. I'm terrible at putting what I see or hear in my head into words. I can visualize an idea, but communicating it and executing it isn't my strong suit.
"How on earth do you do that?" I gape at her while listening to the guitar sections her and Mitch wrote along with the percussion piece for Sarah. We both had the piano part written for days as a skeleton along with words.
"What?" She swiveled around in her chair to look at me. She had on her eyeglasses that she rarely wore. I was being filmed throughout the day, so I had my contacts in. My eyes dried out too fast with the sea breeze in Jamaica. but my glasses made me look, for lack of a better word—dorky.
"In all the time that we've known each other, I finally see for myself what all the fuss is about. People always rave about working with you. I knew you were a brilliant performer, but you really are a true musician." I laugh at my fangirling reaction. I've been in awe of her all day. "You're incredible, darling."
"Styles, you have me. You don't have to try this hard to get into my pants." Nikki jokes, never being able to take a compliment. She rubs her rosy cheeks. The look on her face is adorably bashful. "Thank you, Harry. That means a lot coming from you."
I kiss her to calm her sudden discomfort of me showering her with compliments. When I pretend to munch on her cheeks she playfully smacks me away with a giggle.
"Go get some lunch. I'll work with Adam on recording the bass. Think about the different intros. Alex and Jeff also had some ideas." Nikki was flipping different switches on board then clicking around on the computer. Don't ask me what all of it means. I used to be stuck recording in hotels rooms while on tour. I feel like a newbie with all of this equipment surrounding me.
"Yes, ma'am." I respond after a long moment of watching her. She takes her glasses off swivels around again.
"I'm being bossy aren't I? I know I'm such a control freak! This is your album. You're the boss." Her hands fly up, flipping her hair out. "Tell me to take it down a few notches when I'm getting bitchy." She points at me and moves her hand down in order to make her point.
"You're fine, silly woman. You know how to keep things flowing. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two." I wink. "Want me to bring you something to eat?"
"Oo! Those beef patties from that one place in that one area, ya know the one?"
She's lucky I'm observant.
"I know the one." I kiss her cheek. "Don't work too hard."
Nikki waves her hand for me to go as she's already in a conversation with my producers. I think they were just as excited as me to get to work with her.
I came back after 45 minutes, ecstatic to get back to work. I decided on the intro and ultimately the outro, as well. It was the extended intro to Only Angel; the songs would blend right into each other. It was my way of tying her into it. "Sign of the Times" may have been inspired by a nightmare, but she's my anchor back to reality. Life is fragile. Life is fleeting. Life is—
The shredding of a guitar interrupted my deep and poetic thoughts when I walked into the studio. I smiled at Mitch and Nikki playing "Highway Star" together. He was enamored with her skills and I didn't blame her. He had to stop and watch the speed of her little fingers moving up and down the guitar. (The video isn't important, just listen to the guitar solo lol)
I glanced at my documentary camera crew filming it. Everything would be edited later, but the world had to see this. I'll beg her for us to keep the footage later.
I make my presence known when she's done. Her eyes light up at the sight of the bag of food I had for her. You would have never guessed that she had just given an iconic performance that would rival many seasoned musicians.
"Thanks, monkey!"
I roll my eyes at the snickers going around the studio at the sound of the nickname.
"Fuck you guys! I like bananas and climbing things!"
More snickers.
I flick everyone off.
"Everyone wishes they were a cute, lanky monkey like you." Nikki says with her mouthful.
"Bruh, did you have a banana with lunch?" Mitch asks.
"Well, yeah...I did."
"Ha, sweet. You like straight up Diddy Kong." He lights up his pipe, takes a puff, then passes it to me.
I take the pipe and puff on it from the corner of my mouth. My face is scrunched up in thought while I look over the notes I made on my phone during lunch.
A flash goes off.
Sarah is laugh-crying on Mitch's lap, flipping a polaroid picture back and forth in her hands.
"What?" I say, taking a deep hit before holding the pipe in my hand.
"Bruh! You went from Diddy Kong to Kranky Kong in like 2 seconds! Fucking hilarious!" He snatches his pipe back. "I love you, man."
"Rowland! Kranky Kong had a cane, glasses, and a rocking chair. No pipe!" Nikki defended.
"It's still hilarious!" Sarah snorts.
"Back to work people." I snap. "I'll give you all Kranky Kong."
Everyone pretends to practice. Nikki shakes her head.
"See, it's cute when you're bossy."
"I'm always cute, baby." I sit down next to her to talk to Alex about my intro and outro idea. Nikki wasn't paying attention, completely engrossed in her lunch and phone. I wanted to surprise her.
I laid down some vocals, doing several different takes. Every time I opened my eyes she made a funny face to make me laugh. This song felt like a big deal and my voice gave away my nerves. I walk out of the booth for break.
"Hey, I was meaning to ask, did you want a parental advisory label on your record? We might have to change the 'Why are we always fuckin' running from the bullets' because you know..." I grin at her singing part of the song. I love hearing her voice. It was the first thing about her I fell in love with.
"Hmm good point." I tap on my lip in thought. "Do you have a parental advisory on yours?"
"Yes, but I don't give a fuck. I curse way too much, whoops." She holds her palms up and shrugs. "Having a song literally called 'Kill, Fuck, Marry' doesn't really help either. I wanted the songs recorded as written. I ask because you do have a lot of young fans. It's up to you."
"Wait, 'Kill, Fuck, Marry?' Who is that about?!" I give her a weird look.
I hope I'm marry. Bloody hell.
"Hmm..." She smiles my smile. "Enough small talk. You have some vocals to record!"
We were able to figure out an alternative and replaced the lyrics with 'stuck and running.' I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel intimidated with Nikki watching me lay down the vocal track. She only gave me advice when I asked for it.
"You sound great. You know what your voice can do. Feel the tempo as the song builds and builds, your voice should too. The instruments are back up, baby. Your voice is front and center." Nikki's voice sounded over the intercom in the recording booth.
"A.K.A. You're doing great sweetie!" Mitch piped in after her. I blew him a kiss and he caught it.
I open the door and stick my head out.
"Angel, I need a real kiss before I go again." I pout.
She jumps up and kisses me more passionately than I was expecting, causing the producers and band to whistle and holler at us.
"You keep giving me goosies, you sound so damn good." She plants one more kiss on my lips. "But give me more." She pushes me back into the room with a smirk on her face.
Sooo...I gave her more.
The sexy inspiration of her lips worked. I lets the words and emotions flow through me and let it all go at the precise moment I needed to. The silence of the studio made me feel vulnerable. I thought it sounded good.
"Uhh, well?" I asked, unsure of myself more than ever.
Maybe I suck.
I'm good looking, but I'm no Whitney Houston when it comes to singing.
"Perfect. It's fucking perfect." Nikki cried into the mic. "I think I believe in God now." She jokes.
"Ok, it wasn't THAT good!" I laughed and walked out to hug her. She really did have goosies, reassuring my ego.
"It was THAT good, Harry. Listen." My producer, Alex, played the track back and I had to take a step back.
I've never been more proud of myself. I really hit those notes. Me. I did that.
For the next few hours we were able to get the final cut of the track down. It turned into a listening party of sorts. I kept trying to hit the note over and over again. Mitch was emotional and cuddled up to me while I sang.
"Angel!" I pulled her onto my lap.
"Hey, don't hog Lil Q, man." Mitch pulled her off me so that she was in the middle. Both of us lean our head on her; we were high as a kite. Sarah sat on Mitch's lap, Clare sat on my
other side, and Adam laid across all of us on the sofa.
"Group cuddle photo op! Everybody smile!" Clare held out her phone on a selfie stick.
"Angel, listen to this. HEY ALEX! PLAY IT FOR HER!"
"IT?!" Alex yelled back.
"YOU KNOW!" I say giddily.
"What is happening?!" Nikki looks around confused but had the biggest smile on her face.
The entire band awes and squeezes her in the middle. She's trying not to cry, but it's no use. I think it hit her exactly how much of my album was about her and how much she inspires me.
"I love you." She whispers, hiding her face in my neck.
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"I wanna pitch the song to the label for it to be the first single. I'm...I'm really proud of it." I say, still on a high from the progress in the studio today. It was around 9:00PM now and we were sitting in the living room eating take out while watching IT Crowd on Netflix. It was one of Nikki's favorite shows and part of me knew that she needed a laugh after the good cry she had earlier.
"You should be. It's incredibly moving and your live vocals will give everyone goosies." She bites into the egg roll I hold out to her. I pop the rest of it into my mouth. I've been watching her so closely today. I paid attention to every detail and even with her hungrily slurping up her beef lo mein, I'm absolutely in love with her.
"Thank you. Thank you for working on it with me and thank you for inspiring me everyday to be better...as an artist and a person." I rub her knee.
She finishes chewing and swallowing before putting her hand over mine.
"You're welcome, Mr. Wonderful. We work well together, yeah?"
"In more ways than one." I smirk. She tosses one of her crab rangoons at me and I catch it with my mouth.
"Nice one!" She high fives me.
We sit back and watch a few more episodes of IT Crowd until deciding to head to bed. Nikki brought some cookies with her. I hated getting crumbs on the bed, but she promised to he extra careful. I caved because I was happy that my angel had an appetite again. Her past struggles with food have broken my heart.
She enjoyed her cookies in bed while I caught up with Louis on the phone. Both of us have parents with cancer and it kills me. Our friendship feels a bit strained since the hiatus, but he's always going to be one of the most important people in my life. I really hope he knows that.
Nikki was texting and laughing to herself long after I had gotten off the phone. Her and Niall were sending each other One Direction memes that they had found in the dark places of the Internet.
"Baby! Look at this one! It's not a meme but it's a fucking hilarious post!"
"Where the fuck is that even from?!" I laugh. "I don't remember that at all!"
"I have no idea, but it's giving me life!" She giggles.
"Speaking of polyamorous..." I trailed off. "We never finished that conversation."
"About what?" Nikki looks up from her phone.
"Us having sex with other people...together." I emphasized the last part.
"That's not polyamorous, Harry. We're not getting into a relationship with someone else, together. I was only implying that it was sexy to fantasize or think about us having sex with someone else, together. A silly, innocent fantasy is all."
I lay my head on her tummy and look up at her in amusement.
"Silly and innocent, love?"
"Uh huh."
"Have you ever had a threesome?" I push my Kiss T-Shirt that she's wearing up pass her navel, leaving a trail of wet kisses. She was getting that tummy of hers toned up for her upcoming tour. It was incredibly sexy.
"Sort of. More like, I had sex with a girl and Ville watched. He wasn't keen on participating." She shivered when I traced her belly button with my tongue.
I blew a loud raspberry on her tummy at the mention of Ville.
"Heeey! You asked and I answered!"
"I know." I traced random patterns with the tips of my fingers. "I've never had a threesome. I don't think getting caught having sex counts as someone watching..." I let out a small laugh.
"Yeah, that doesn't count. Umm...would you ever want to have one?" Nikki gently ran her nails up and down my forearm.
I didn't have to think about an answer because I'd already spent over a week going back and forth with myself about it the moment it was brought up. Nikki made me feel okay about trying new things and being open with my sexuality. There is no judgement in her eyes when she hears about what I have done or haven't done. If I'm going to explore the realm of possibilities regarding sex, I would want nothing more than to do so with the person I love and trust more than anyone in the world.
"Yes. I'd like to. Honestly, it peaked my interest the moment you found out about Zayn and I. You were so turned on and I...I wasn't expecting that." I shyly lay my head face down against her warm skin.
She scratches at my head soothingly. See, this is what I mean. This woman is open minded and allows me to be myself. I had to suppress my sexuality amongst other shit for so long.
"I would never shame you, Harry. You and I are in an exclusive relationship, but sex can be as wild and as open as we want it to be. If we want to include someone then we discuss it. Sound good?"
We've only recently gotten back together and we're already communicating better. Talking wasn't our forte before. We use to communicate more with our bodies, but now I know—talk first then have the sex.
I nearly burst out laughing at my thoughts.
"Sounds good. I want you more than anyone, just so we're clear." I pull her T-shirt over her head, watching her pretty nipples harden. That's all she had changed into before bed—my shirt and no panties.
"Same, but..." She sits up to whisper in my ear. "I do get so wet thinking about you fucking me while I suck someone's cock or eat pussy." I'm suddenly pinned down onto the bed with her straddling me.
"Shit, that mouth of yours. I...I want to try something right now. I think I deserve it after how I well I did today. I delivered didn't I? I gave you more when you demanded it." I squeezed her hips. She grinds down on me in a circular motion, her hands splayed out across my bare chest.
"You delivered alright. What do you want?" Her tits were squeezed together at this angle and my mouth went dry at the sight.
"Please...p-please fuck me." I choke out.
"Already on it..." She slides my boxer briefs down then lines my cock up to her slick pussy.
"No, no. I...uh..." I laugh sheepishly and cover my face with a pillow in embarrassment.
"Harry, your entire body is blushing. What's happening? Talk to me." She laughs, pulling the pillow away. "I've never seen you get so bashful...it's adorable."
Without a word I open the bedside table. I side glance at the open drawer. There are only two objects in that drawer, so I know she'll take the hint.
"Oh...OOOOH!" She grabs her dildo and the bottle of lube. "Are you sure?" She asks softly.
I nod.
"Let me hear you say it."
"Fuck me." I moan and reach down to stroke my dick, showing her how turned on I am just thinking about it.
"Shit, Harry...be right back." Nikki hops off the bed and goes into the bathroom with the dildo. She comes back after a few minutes with a towel.
"What'd you do?" I ask, still idly stroking myself.
"I wanted to make sure it was properly cleaned and the towel is because who wants lube all over the bed? Not me!" She giggles. I was feeling more comfortable and excited about trying this. There was nothing to be embarrassed about; she was completely on board with this, no questions asked.
That's love.
"Lift up." I do as she says. She scoots the towel underneath me and taps my thigh to lay back down. "You remember the safe word?" She kisses from my laurels, up my torso, to my jaw. I tug on her hair, pulling her lips to mine. Even with the dirty act we're about to commit, I pour love into that kiss to show my appreciation of her open acceptance in my request.
"Kiwi." I pant against her lips when we part.
"Spread and hold back your legs for me." Nikki scoots down. I hear the lid pop open on the lube bottle. I'm tingling in anticipation. "How about you suck on this for me while I get you ready." She holds the dildo up to my mouth. I smirk before wrapping my lips around it and bobbing my head as I suck it deeper and deeper into my mouth.
"Holy fuck..." She blinks at me in shock. I pull back and spit on it, giving her a show. I start sucking on it more fervently feeling her lick up and down my length while rimming my asshole with her lubed up fingers. Her gentleness relaxes me and her fingers easily make their way in. I shutter, my head falling back at her soft tongue lapping on the underside of the tip of my dick.
She sticks a third finger in, pushing in knuckles deep. I suck on the dildo, moaning around it, even whimpering when I feel her bite and suck on my inner thighs.
"Baby, this dildo is almost as big as you are. Are you sure you can take it?" Her concerned tone makes me smirk.
"I can take it." I hand her the dildo. "Lube it up."
"Hey! I'm the boss right now!" She smacks my leg with the dildo. "Needy baby, greedy baby."
"Stop making me laugh...oooh yeah move your fingers like that...shit..." I look down at her watching me. Her eyes stay on mine as she noisily takes my cock into her mouth. She's salivating all over me; the wet throat fuck is nearly doing me in.
"Nikki, don't make me cum like this, please...I need..." I cry out almost shamefully at my vulnerable position.
"I got you, trust me."
She must've removed her fingers in the middle of sucking my cock to distract me. I hear slick stroking. I glance down and watch with bated breath as she lubes up the dildo.
"I'm gonna love on you, gonna go deep and slow. It makes me cum the hardest, so I want to see if it does the same for you...only I get to suck your pretty cock at the same time." Nikki nudges the head of the dildo against my asshole. I relax and allow myself to suck the thick head of it inside. My jaw drops, my legs involuntarily shaking in my hands.
"It's fuckin' huge! N-N-Nikki...I don't know if I can...kiw—"
"What's that? Did you say kiwi?" She stops inching it in, searching my face for an answer. "Breathe, Harry..."
I let out a rush of air that I didn't know I was holding in.
"No. I didn't say the safe word. Please...umm...suck me until it's in all the way?"
She nods, kissing up my shaft. She softly sucks on the head of my cock, her tongue flattening out swirling. Her eyes are soft as she gazes up at me, all the while gently pushing the dildo deeper. Her other hand runs up to my chest. Feeling her tug a my nipple serves as another sexy distraction of the fullest I've ever felt.
Fuck yesss, this is way better.
The moment it's all the way in, I see fucking stars.
Nikki simply keeps it mostly sheathed inside of me, only moving it in and out in small thrusts. Her entire body rocks against her hand that has a tight grip on it. The way she's using her body feels like she's fucking me deeply. I can't hold back my untamed sounds of absolute pleasure. I know they're sounds she has never heard come out of me, but I don't care. I'm lost and delirious at what she's doing to me.
"God, you're so beautiful like this...so soft and needy..." She kisses down my leg. "Love you so much..."
"Love you, too...mmm fuck...feels good..." I cry out when she snaps into me harder, but keeps her steady pace. My cock is back in her snug mouth; the combination is almost too much, my nerve endings are nearly overstimulated.
Oh, but it's so sinfully good.
She's my perfect devilish angel.
My moans are constant now. Her words of encouragement and praise have my toes curling. I knew this would be good, but I didn't know it could be this damn good.
"I'm cummin'...I'm...I'm—FUCK!" I cum harder than I ever have in my life down her throat. She pulls back. gagging a little, to stroke me while I continuously cum, her other hand continues to grind the dildo into my asshole. I'm shaking and tingling all over. I can barely feel my legs as I let them go and they flop onto the bed.
Nikki slowly removes the dildo. She leaves the bed for a moment. I hear the faucet run in the distance, but I'm floating somewhere over the rainbow.
The bed dips and I flinch slightly at the warm, damp towel on my fucked out hole.
"How are you doing, love?" She kisses on my thighs.
"That was mind blowing." I open my eyes, unable to focus on anything. "I can clean up...you don't have to."
"It's called aftercare. Let me love on you. You always take care of me."
She continues to kiss my thighs. Another warm towel is swiped across my belly and chest. I must've came all over the place.
I finally come to my normal senses again and observe her cleaning me up and taking the towels to the hamper in the bathroom. She throws on a robe, leaves, and comes back with a water and two aspirin.
"Just in case."
Her sweet disposition floors me in this moment. She appears almost innocent. The devil had her way with me and now the angel was out to judge the aftermath.
"Come to me." I pull her down and untie the wicked robe concealing her body from me.
I coerced the devil to
come back out, so that I could show her my appreciation over.