perfect strangers- sam winchester x reader

an idea

life without sam is unbearable. life in general is unbearable. everything just seems so numb. so unfamiliar. so unnecessary. dean has been a help, with his comforting words, warm hugs, and constant fries. sam hasn't made an effort to talk to you, and you haven't to him either. dean thinks the both of you are being unreasonable, but he discusses this with you in a softer manner than he does to sam. you can hear them arguing late at night, and you always ask dean to stop, but he never does. in fact, it just seems to encourage him further. the nightmares come and go, each worse than the last. your brain is filled with visions of death. death of your mother. your brother. curiosity consumes you, as your brain takes a creative twist to what might be happening back home. you begin to feel homesick, longing for your friends, and the familiarity of your small town. adam sticks in your head. his extracurricular activities sicken you, and you can't help but wonder what he's doing now. everything seemed so hard, until you had a plan. a plan to fix things with sam. a plan to end the pain, and to end everything. if only this were something you could discuss with dean. it would be much easier to develop a solid plan. but for now, it's an idea. an idea that could work. an idea that has to work. and fortunately, this idea begins, and ends, with your death.