Whispers followed me down the hall, all the way to the lunchroom as I gazed around it. After everything that had happened, I realized something about high school. It's important to choose your friends carefully.
I glanced over at where I usually sat, with Lui and Marcel, who were discussing something quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Craig holding his tray of food and heading towards the table. A lump was caught in my throat as I realized that I didn't want to sit with them, I don't think I ever wanted to sit with them. I had just gotten caught up in high school.
Searching the room once more, I realize that there's a single empty table in the back, only a couple of chairs positioned around it. Perfect for one. Steadily, I begin to walk.
Sitting alone at lunch felt different, there was no longer quiet chatter that danced through my ears as I chewed. No one talked about someone else, it was just me. Alone. By myself. Surely, people had noticed, they had to have.
I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to prove I was sorry.
——————
Evan felt grateful that he ran into no one as he slipped into the school, his primary mission being to gather the things from his locker. His parents were in the office, speaking about things. His heart raced, not wanting to be seen by anyone as he imputed his code and cleared out his locker. His backpack grew heavy with everything except for the school-issued items he had been given, he left those in the locker, even taking the lock. Without a glance around, he walked back to his parent's car that was parked outside. A few minutes later, his parents walked out as well. They smiled at him from where he sat in the backseat.
It was official, Evan was never going to return to that school. In a way, he felt regretful, but he also felt relieved as he realized that he was finally going to get away from all the problems that haunted him.
He wondered if he should delete his friend's' numbers. Conveniently, his phone buzzed.
Tyler: Ev, we're gonna go eat after school, wanna come? We're going to that diner by the school
Evan: oh
Evan: no thanks, I'm good, haven't really been hungry lately
Tyler: Evan that's really not good, you need to get out of the house
Evan: I am out of the house, I'm in the car with my parents
Tyler: are you coming to school?
Evan: no, they're just trying to cheer me up I guess
Tyler: I'm glad, that's really nice of them
Tyler: just, think about what I said, okay? My offer still stands, we really want to see you
Evan: I know, I'm sorry, I don't know what it is but
Tyler: you don't have to explain, Ev, some things just really hurt us, I hope you feel better
Evan: I'm sorry
Tyler: don't apologize
Evan: how is he
Tyler: Evan no, don't do this to yourself
Evan: is he that great?
Tyler: Evan I'm not going to answer that question because I know it's gonna hurt you
Evan: I wanna know, Tyler, please. If you tell me I'll go eat with you guys I promise
Tyler: Evan....
Evan: I can handle it
Tyler: ...
Tyler: he didn't eat with Lui and them today, and lately he's been trying to get us to let him talk to you, which is NOT going to happen, and he keeps trying to tell us he's sorry which I don't think he is
Tyler: he's not worth it, Evan, please don't do this to yourself. He's probably over it by now Evan I want you to be over it, too, it's not worth it
Evan: it's okay
Evan: thank you, Tyler, I'll go eat with you guys later. I missed you
Evan: I'll apologize in advance for how sad I may seem I promise I'll try to be happy
Tyler: you don't have to
Evan: I want to, it's fine
————
"Everything good, Ev?" Tyler watched the way Evan slowly stirred his iced tea with his straw, his eyes staring into his drink blankly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." His voice was soft, glancing up as he saw the rest of his friends arrive. He sat up, bringing the straw to his lips and taking a long sip to avoid verbally greeting them. Instead he just followed their movements with his eyes, scooting over to make room for his friends to sit.
"Evan, good to see you out and about! How are you?" Evan hardly payed attention to who had asked the question, assuming it was David or something. He shrugged half-heartedly in response.
"I mean, I've been better, but I guess I'm not the worst I could be." Evan didn't want to tell his friends he was transferring schools, they would just worry even more. He couldn't handle anymore worry. It would be better this way. "Sorry," he apologized as he realized how bummed out he must look, "I missed you guys, but I'm just down." He couldn't meet their eyes.
"Don't worry about it, dude. It's fine. Honestly, it's great that you finally got out of the house and into the world again." David smiled at him as the waiter arrived. Everyone, except Evan, ordered their food and they jumped into conversation while they waited. Evan didn't talk much, wanting to enjoy the moment he was having with his friends, who he hadn't seen in so long. And, now that he transferred, who knows when he would get to see them again.
He was finally enjoying himself, after feeling miserable for so long, he was finally cracking a few jokes and smiling with his friends. Maybe getting out of the house was really what he needed. Not to mention a milkshake and the fries that his friends offered him. All was good.
Until the bell above the door chimed, and Jonathan walked in.