Chapter six- secrets
I woke up on the bathroom floor. My body felt very weak. I gave up,feeling help less when they hurt me. No one to help me. I guess my grandmother was right when she said "When things get tough, you will be by yourself to fight your own battles. All I could hear was Jennifer saying " I never like you" and "Stay away from my man". The bathroom doors open snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw Natalie. Tears filled her eyes and she ran to me. I put my index finger on my lips and said "shhh". I want her to just keep this a secret. "Why did they do this to you? " asked Natalie, I could see anger in her eyes.
"Please take me home" I asked her, she picked me up and swung my right arm around her neck. we made our was out the school from the back entrance. We got in her car and made our way to my house. The car ride was silent. Well, not entirely. You can hear the sobs of Natalie. I wanted to comfort her and tell her I will be okay. Truth is I'm not sure I'm okay. Lately I don't know who I am or how I feel. "Natalie I'm fine" I said, not knowing if it's a lie or not.
"No the freak your not! Who that blond ass bitch think she is! she is an insult to me cause I'm blonde." said Natalie, she gripped the steering wheel. If she was any stronger it could possible break.
"I'm going to pull each and every damn clip in she have in her head! Make the slut cry mercy. I have been waiting for the day, I had a strong reason to destroy her face-" said nat, I quickly interrupted her.
"No! please don't hurt or confront her" I said, turning in my seat to face her. Nat took a deep breath or few breaths. " Okay, I wont" she said, parking in front my house. Maria most likely left.
After I got settle and laid in my bed Nat changed and decided to make her mom call in school stating us as sick. "T, why did they do this?" asked Nat, laying next to me.
"She thinks I want Jake" I said, closing my eyes.
" T? " she said, softly and adjusting to looked at me.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have feeling for Jake? forget her I'm just asking" Nat said, Sitting up. Do I have feeling for Jake? I quietly asked myself. He is very sweet and I feel like I knew him forever. Like I can trust-
"T to earth, earth to T!" said Nat, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"No, I never just sat and thought about him like that" I said being honest. She knew I was being honest. She hugged me out of no where. " What was that for?" I asked , with a smile played on my face. "I'm happy you are okay. Not to mention I'm glad you are my best friend. I love you like a little sister T" said Nat, wiping a tear from her eye.
"I love you to Nat" I said.
***
hours pasted and I started feeling better. I was able to walk but felt a pain on my side. "Nat want to see my new little friend?" I asked her. She looked at me confused. I got up and slowly went into the next room and got snowflake who was sleeping. when I walked in the room Nat' s face lit.
"Who is this cutie?!" she asked, putting her hands out to take him. I sat on the bed and laughed at how she was hold snowflake like a baby. "This is snowflake" I said pulling out my phone and snapping photos of them. "so fluffy and cute!" she said, while posing with snow.
Natalie got up and turned on my radio and speakers. She started blasting music. We were dancing and lip singing. That's when "I got it" by pia mia came on and snowflake started barking. Then got on his two little legs and spinning around.
"Doctor I need medicine" I said, singing along to Mr. president by pia.
"Mr. president,I can be your Marilyn ! " said Nat, grabbing my brush and singing with me. we took pictures with snowflake,and us singing. If someone came in my room they would think we performing for an audience.
Then we started doing our dance we have for our show. Me and Nat is in dance class and we perform and stuff. I moved my hips to the song. everything that clouded my mind slipped away. Then me and Nat started doing our dance in sync.
We often get caught up in our destinations that we forget to stop appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. stop over looking appreciation it's a wonderful feeling. over the years of being Natalie' s best friend, I learned a memory last forever which is something that can never die. True friends that's can stay together and never say the words good bye, not that's something special.
***
we woke up the next day and just laid in bed. I was on Instagram and Natalie was on Twitter. I posted a collage with us and snowflake last night. right when I was about to lock my phone I got a bunch of text messages. Oops, I turned off my phone yesterday. I got a text from my dad saying happy birthday. I never saw it. I also had multiple text from Jake asking if I'm okay, why am I not answering, and am I sick. I text my dad saying thank you and I love him, then locked my phone.
"I want to go to the beach" I said, mumbling in my pillow.
"You can go while I stay and watch snowflake" suggested Natalie, I got out of bed and went to take a shower. When I finish shower, I changed and put on a over sized sweater that is purple, and some shorts. I basically live in a beach house so I walked out the house and made my way to the beach. I walked far away from my house and closer to the water. I sat on the sand an open my diary.
Dear diary,
I have been going through a lot. I have been getting hurt more often and caught myself crying, and losing people. "Watching people leave is hard , but it's just down right shady remembering that time they promised the would not" that quote is very true. Have you ever got lost in music and forgot about the world. Well, I have . It is the best feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing you can't be judged. That's a great feeling. The feeling like the music controls you and every beat makes you jump with excitement. I wish I can run away for a day and be in a world on filled with music and food.
That's the problem. I should not run away from my problems but I have a urge to. I want to stop crying, I want to feel free. The feeling of constantly wanting to cry or run away is getting annoying. I think I know my only way for keeping Jennifer away from me. It might hurt me inside but I can't. I rather go back to being not noticed.
I kept worrying until I noticed I am on the last page of my advice diary. I dug a little hole and put my diary in it. I stripped down to my bathing suit and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and ran towards the water. I need to get away, I need to. I softly kept saying in my head. I dived in the water and went under. when everything got quiet, I felt my mind go blank. My body felt weight less. None of the pain from the accident in the bathroom ran across my mind. None of the things that always occupied my mine was of existence.
I slowly came back up and inhaled the fresh air. My eyes still closed, I kept myself calm. I stayed in the water and just swam.