A cold brick of fear settled itself in my stomach. "What do you mean he's in the hospital? Is he okay?"
"I don't know," Ryan rubbed his fingers through his scalp, mussing his hair. "Brianna said he wasn't feeling well all day. He had a pain in his stomach and was throwing up. She assumed it was the flu at first, but when he got worse instead of better, she took him to the pediatrician. The doctor took one look at him and told her to go straight to the emergency room. They just got there." As he spoke, Ryan put his suit jacket back on and patted the pockets, making sure he had everything. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm gonna go see if I can catch a flight home."
"I'll go with you," I said without hesitation, grabbing my purse off the table.
Ryan paused and looked deep into my eyes. "You don't have to do that, Lily. Stay. Enjoy the wedding."
Placing my hand on his forearm, I squeezed it gently. "I want to. This is important. I want to be there for you." I could see the hesitation in his eyes, so I pressed on. "We're in this now, you and me. You don't have to do this alone. I'm not running anymore."
The lines on his face finally softened, and he grabbed the back of my head, kissing me madly, as if he finally realized how much I did in fact care for him.
"Okay, let's go," the frantic panic in his voice was back.
We rushed over to Rebecca and Keith and quickly explained why we needed to leave. With complete understanding, they wished us safe travels.
Since we'd taken the bus to the reception, Ryan called a cab as we ran outside. Thankfully we only had to wait about ten minutes for it to show up, though Ryan's incessant pacing made it seem longer. As soon as the cab pulled up in front of our hotel, we paid the man and ran at full speed up to our rooms. Not taking care with my things, I shoved them into my suitcase and met Ryan downstairs to check out.
As we waited for the cab the concierge had ordered, I was surprised by the amount of fear coursing through my body. I knew nothing about being a parent, nor had I even met Jack yet, but the fact that he was a part of Ryan drew me to him immediately. I could only pray he was going to be okay.
Ryan pulled me to his side as soon as we got into the cab. He gripped my hand tightly, almost to the point of cutting off the circulation. I knew that I couldn't say anything to calm him down, so I stayed quiet. As long as my physical presence was helping, that was enough.
Without traffic, we made it to the airport quickly. We grabbed our bags and rushed inside. It was already late in the evening, so I worried there wouldn't be any more flights leaving. But as it had most of the weekend, thankfully fate was on our side. A flight to Newark was leaving in forty minutes. That gave us just enough time to get through security and board the plane.
By the time the seatbelt sign turned off, Ryan had finally snapped out of his trance, though he had yet to let go of my hand. "Hey," he turned toward me, as if he'd forgotten I'd been there the whole time.
"Hey," I gave a weak smile. "I wish I could do something for you."
"Just having you here is helping. You make me feel stronger. I do feel bad you're missing the wedding though."
"Don't, really. It was never even a choice I had to make. There's nowhere else I want to be than here with you."
***
A few hours later, we rushed into the emergency room of the hospital, our bags in tow. Ryan grabbed the first nurse he saw, asking where he could find Jack Parker. She pointed to a curtained-off room down the hall. Assuming it was best to let Ryan go in alone, I hung back. But he grabbed my hand, pulled me to his side, and we pulled open the curtain together.
A small, dark-haired boy laid on a gurney in a hospital gown three sizes too big. His eyes were closed, though based on the grimace on his face, the sleep wasn't peaceful. He had IVs sticking out of both arms. And he absolutely was the spitting image of Ryan.
A girl about my age, who I assumed was Brianna, sat in a chair beside the boy, stroking the hair off his forehead. The lines on her face were creased with worry. Her mousy brown hair was coming out of the long braid she'd wound it into. She wore yoga pants and an old, ratty t-shirt, as if she'd run out of the house in a hurry, the sick boy in her arms. A tall, thin man stood behind her, a calming presence as he massaged her shoulders. That must be the boyfriend.
Ryan's mom was in the room as well, flitting about nervously. She seemed unable to calm herself enough to sit down. "Ryan!" she called out when she noticed him, rushing into his arms.
He hugged her back with one arm, still holding my hand in the other, and always keeping his eyes trained on his son. "Hey, Mom," he said in a soothing, comfortable way. He nodded to Brianna and her boyfriend. They left their post to come greet us.
"Thanks for coming. I'm sorry you had to leave the wedding," Brianna gave him a quick hug.
"Of course. Thanks for calling me." Their tone was civil but friendly, and I could tell immediately they had worked hard to cultivate this co-parenting relationship.
No one seemed to notice I was attached to Ryan, but he pulled me into view immediately. "Brianna, Dean, this is my girlfriend, Lily. Mom, you remember her from school, right?"
Dean and Brianna each shook my hand but his mother only looked at me stone-faced. Without missing a beat she asked, "What is she doing here?" with a coldness in her voice.
I took a step back floored by the bite to her words. Mrs. Parker hadn't been overly friendly that Family Weekend, but I hadn't sensed any real hostility. I was sure it was a surprise to all of them that Ryan had brought me, introducing me as his girlfriend no less, when he had left for the weekend single. But I didn't expect this.
"Lily was at the same wedding and she's my girlfriend now. As soon as she heard Jack was sick, she wanted to come. And I want her here," he defended me, pulling me closer to his side and wrapping his arm around my waist. "Anyway, can we not do this now?"
Not giving her the chance to respond, he led us over to the gurney. Ryan leaned down and brushed his lips across his son's forehead. "Hey, buddy," he whispered, placing his hand over Jack's much smaller one. He looked him over quickly before turning towards Brianna. "What have the doctors said?"
"We're still waiting on a few tests," she answered, "but the doctors seem to think it's his appendix."
Ryan blew out a deep breath. He glanced back down at Jack before responding. "That means surgery, right?"
Brianna nodded.
Ryan's eyebrows furrowed in anguish as he looked at Jack once again. Knowing he was going to have to have surgery, no matter how routine, suddenly made the boy seem so tiny and innocent.
Just then the doctor stepped into the room. He had a calming demeanor and the salt and pepper sprinkled in his hair suggested experience.
Ryan walked over to him immediately, extending his hand. "I'm Ryan, Jack's father."
"Dr. Cooper," he returned the handshake.
"Do you have any information?" Ryan asked, all business.
Dr. Cooper nodded his head. "I do. Your son presented with a fever, abdominal pain, and vomiting. We ran some labs, and I just took a look at the CT scan and ultrasound. Your son has appendicitis, though it doesn't appear to have ruptured yet."
Ryan squeezed my hand tightly, but showed no other outward emotion. "That's good, right?" he asked.
"Yes. There is a much higher risk of complication if that happens. We do, however, want to get him into surgery as soon as possible."
Kneeling down by his son's bedside, Ryan nodded. Brianna let out a sob, burying her face in Dean's chest.
"It's a simple procedure, one I have done hundreds of times," the doctor pressed on. "We'll go in laparoscopically, so you'll barely be able to see the scar. We'll keep him in the hospital just a few days, and send him home with some antibiotics. He should be back to normal in about two to six weeks. Does anyone have any questions?"
I looked around, but no one said a word.
"Alright then," the doctor shut the medical file in his hands. "The nurse will be by in a few minutes to start prepping Jack for surgery."
Dr. Cooper left the room quickly, closing the curtain behind him. Mrs. Parker walked over to her grandson's bedside. Rubbing his leg, she said to Ryan, "I'm going to go call your father and let him know what's going on." She shot another look of distain in my direction before leaving the room.
Brianna approached the bed on the other side. "I'm gonna call my parents and fill them in as well. She leaned down and kissed Jack. "I love you, baby," she whispered before leaving with Dean.
Ryan moved from his kneeling position, only to sit in the chair next to the bed. His left hand was gripping his son's, while the right stayed ever-attached to mine.
Jack's eyes fluttered open, glassy and unfocused from the fever. "Daddy?" his voice cracked.
Ryan leaned over into his view. "It's me, buddy. I'm right here."
"I'm sick," the little boy's voice sounded so small.
"I know. It's gonna be okay. The doctor's going to do a little procedure and make you all better. Don't worry, you'll sleep through the whole thing. Plus, you might have a really cool scar on your stomach. And what do I always tell you about scars?"
"Chicks dig 'em."
I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my throat. Only Ryan would teach a five-year-old something like that.
"Hey, buddy, I want you to meet someone very special to me," Ryan continued, pulling me closer. "This is Lily."
I leaned over the bed. "Hi, Jack. It's really great to meet you."
"The pleasure's all yours," he said with a smile that curved up in the exact same way Ryan's did.
My laugh rang out loud and clear. "He really is your son."
Ryan shrugged his shoulder sheepishly. "Did you expect anything less?"
I shook my head no as a nurse pulled back the curtain. "Alight, time to say goodbye," she said briskly, but with a friendly tone. "Time to get this little guy ready."
"I'll see you later, Jack," I said standing.
Leaning down, Ryan kissed his son. "Be strong, little buddy. It'll be over soon."
"Okay," Jack nodded bravely. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, too."
I could see it pained Ryan to let go of his son's hand. He let me lead him out of the room, not being strong enough to do it himself. We ran into Brianna and Dean in the hallway.
"Did they take him up there yet?" she asked frantically.
"No, they just started prepping him. You should be able to go in real quick."
"Okay, thanks," she rushed towards the door. Calling over her shoulder she added, "They said we should go up to the surgical wing waiting room. Your mom's there already."
She and Dean disappeared into the room, leaving Ryan and I standing alone in the middle of the hallway, our luggage sitting on the floor around us.
"Let's head upstairs," he nodded towards the elevator.
We gathered our bags and after only a few wrong turns, located the correct waiting room. I didn't know how Ryan was holding it together. He must have been so worried, but was hiding it under an outward shield of strength. That must be what being a parent is. This night had exposed me to this new side of Ryan. The one I had missed out on seeing the past five years. Father. It must not have been an easy transition in the beginning. Even very young fathers normally have nine months to prepare for the change in lifestyle. But Ryan had to step into his new role on day one. I admired the way he both embraced and thrived in it.
Mrs. Parker was sitting at the end of the row of blue plastic chairs. The hospital attempted to warm up the space with framed landscape paintings and a table off to the side filled with bottles of water and snacks. But it wasn't enough to offset the sterile walls and smell of bleach and other disinfectants that permeated every corner of the hospital.
An older woman, and a younger woman who appeared to be her daughter huddled in the far left corner. But other than that, we had the room to ourselves.
We leaned our bags against the wall and attempted to make ourselves comfortable on the unforgiving seats next to his mother. Ryan slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side. He kissed the top of my head and absentmindedly twirled the ends of my hair with his fingers. With his free hand, he loosened his tie and undid the top button on his shirt.
"Did you call Dad?" he turned towards his mother.
She nodded. "He's going to get ready and come meet us here. Wonder what he'll have to say about this new situation."
That last part was said under her breath, but I knew she was referring to my presence there. Ryan must have known it as well, by the way his back tensed and straightened.
"Mom, what is your problem with Lily? We're all so focused on Jack, but you've still found a way to make your displeasure clear. And frankly, I'm tired of this." He glanced down at the watch on his left hand. "We have about an hour until Jack's out of surgery, so we might as well get it out now."
Mrs. Parker visibly recoiled from his words, as if he had just slapped her across the face. Even I was shocked by the sternness of his voice. But his lack of sleep last night, combined with the stress over Jack's illness, proved to be an explosive combination for Ryan. He could only take so much apparently. And I wasn't totally opposed to the idea that defending me was the battle he chose to fight.
"I'd prefer to have this conversation in private," was her only response.
"Well that's not going to happen," he shot back, tightening his grip on my shoulder.
"Fine," she huffed. "I just don't think it's responsible for you to be getting serious with some girl. You have a child now."
"I know I have a child, Mom. He's five...this isn't new, even though you constantly feel the need to remind me of him. As if I don't know. As if I haven't been trying to be the best parent I can to him the past five years."
She opened her mouth to respond, but Ryan lifted his finger to silence her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brianna and Dean slip in, sitting down a few rows away.
"And Lily isn't just some girl. I love her. I've loved her since I was eighteen. It may seem fast to introduce her as my girlfriend when even I didn't know she'd be at the wedding. But the connection we had is still there, and we didn't want to lose any more time."
His mother huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. It seemed like it didn't matter what Ryan said to her, she wasn't going to approve of our relationship. I just couldn't figure out why she had such a problem with it.
"I just thought we were done with all this," she waved her hand around in my direction, "when I finally got you to break up with her when you found out about Jack."