After All

Chapter Five

The night of the house party caused a shift in the relationship I had with Ryan. His coming to my rescue changed the way I looked at him. We'd shared something that night that brought us closer together.

Ryan took the role of protector seriously, practically gluing himself to my side for the following days. I had to physically stop him from coming into psych class with me, when he remembered that Gary was in it as well. He only relented when I agreed to sit next to one of the guys from the lacrosse team who promised to watch over me.

We started hanging out more, watching movies in each other's rooms, meeting up for dinner with friends, and studying together in the library. Despite the superficial differences, I realized we actually had a lot in common. We both agreed nothing was more relaxing than fresh sea air hitting your face on a hot day, and pizza should always come with extra cheese. As the oldest children in each of our families, we felt a lot of pressure to do well in school and set a good example for our siblings. The more time we spent together, the more I craved it, always counting down the hours until I saw him again.

Before we knew it, autumn came in quickly and as the leaves fell, so did my math grades. I'd found a balance with the rest of my classes, but fell further and further behind in math. Ryan eventually took pity on all my pouting and whining and agreed to tutor me. We had a big test the next day and had been holed up in the library for hours.

"I'm never even going to need this," I complained like a typical high school student. "I'm an art major. I guarantee I won't use algebra a single day after this class."

"I'm sure you're right, but they won't let you be an art major unless you pass this class first."

"I know," I sat back in my chair defeated. "This wouldn't be happening if I had gone to art school. I bet they don't make you take math there."

"Why didn't you?"

I jumped at the chance to talk about anything other than the value of X. "The School of Visual Arts had been my dream since I first heard of it from my freshman art teacher. I spent hours poring over the brochures and daydreaming about living in New York City. I knew that if I was serious about being an artist one day, that was the best place for me to learn and make connections."

"So what happened? Did you get in?" he put his pencil down and crossed his arms over his chest, listening intently to my story.

"No." I looked down, embarrassed. It had been so hard to tell all of my family and friends that the one school I'd talked about for years rejected me. That pain hadn't subsided with time. "I was rejected."

"I'm sorry," he said with sincerity. Despite my original reservations about Ryan, he had become a good friend. He had a casual, effortless way about him that always put me at ease. Whenever I talked, I felt like he was really listening to what I had to say. It was because of this that I felt comfortable opening up to him. "Did they give you a reason why they didn't accept you?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure I know why," I said with a sigh, twisting my hair up into a bun to get it out of my face. "I dated this guy Jeff for two years in high school. He was a year older than me and captain of the football team. I was very shy when we met and had very little confidence when it came to boys. So needless to say, I was shocked when he asked me out."

Ryan sat quietly while I talked, twirling a pencil between his fingers while he listened.

"So long story short," I continued, "he truly lived up to the stereotype of a super jock who got a college scholarship to play football in college. I felt lucky just to be with him, and he made sure I knew that."