After All

Chapter Thirteen

"Ugh, I swear I'm losing my mind," I groaned to Ryan a few days later. We were sprawled out on his bed, consumed with studying for midterms. College relationships were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. They were so much more. More time spent together, more intense, more highs and lows. Seeing the other person every day changed the dynamic significantly. Without the ability to go home, a home that was more than thirty yards away, made everything move in dog years.

We'd really only been dating a few days, but it felt so much longer than that, in a good way. We quickly fell into a routine of sharing meals, walking to class, and hanging out at night together. Seamlessly our two lives merged as one. It was passionate and intense, but felt so right. Each day that passed only strengthened my feelings for him and solidified my belief that he felt the same way about me.

"I can think of a better way we could be spending our time," Ryan climbed over to me, knocking my psychology notecards to the floor. He was more distraction than help while I was studying, but with the pressure of exams, this was the only time we had to spend together all week.

"Ryan, stop!" I hit his chest playfully. "I'm never going to learn all of this in time. No distractions."

"What you don't see is that we're still studying," he said kissing up and down my neck. "I'm just giving you an advanced lesson in anatomy."

It took every ounce of my willpower to pull away from him. "You won't think this is quite as funny when you fail English. Have you even started that paper you have?"

Ryan reluctantly pushed off me and picked up his notebook. "Just starting. You know, school is really getting in the way of all the fun we're supposed to be having here."

"I know, right?" I rolled my eyes. "We just have to survive this week. Things should slow down after that."

"You excited to be going home for Thanksgiving soon?" Ryan asked, changing the subject.

Once we were done with midterms, I'd be catching a plane back to Florida for the holiday. "Yes and no," I answered honestly. "It will be nice to be warm again for a while, and I miss my family so much. But it'll be strange too. I've barely spoken to my high school friends since I got here. Will it be weird to see them? Without realizing, this place that was so strange to me before has become my home. I don't know how I'll feel about being back there. I'm not the same person I used to be anymore."

"I know exactly what you mean. I'm looking forward to eating my mom's home cooking," he patted his stomach. "And I think my dad and I are going to work on the old car he's been restoring for about three decades now. But I'm going to miss you a lot."

"Me too," I crawled over and put my head in his lap. I had been trying to focus only on my midterms and not the fact that Ryan and I were about to be separated. Thanksgiving break was only five days long, but I already knew I'd feel like a part of me was missing without him there.

I also couldn't ignore the clawing feeling in my throat that this relationship wouldn't last through our separation. It was so new and fresh. Was it strong enough to endure the temptations and hardship of being apart? Or would it be over before it ever really got a chance to get started?

"Don't worry," Ryan said, running his fingers through my hair. "We'll be back here together before you know it."

"Not if we fail our midterms," I reminded him as his hands started wandering all over my body again. "Come on, let's do a little more work, and then we can take a break." I needed to focus on anything else besides leaving him. Plus, it would be best if I didn't fail and get kicked out of school.