•Steven's POV•
''Damien,'' His name jumps from my lips before I even open my eyes.
I groan, sitting up. I can feel an aching headache coming on and I don't know if it's from all the alcohol I've been consuming or the fact that I'm fucking starving.
I open my eyes, confusion setting over me as I look around at my living room. The last thing I remember is being in Damien's penthouse.
Feeling sweat start to pool on my forehead I go to take my jacket off. Pulling at the sleeves of the jacket and taking it off of my body I examine it in my hands.
''Fuck,'' I say, staring at Damien's leather jacket in my hands. The memory of the car ride back to my house after I let myself fall into that bottle of whiskey invades my mind. ''Fuck, I fucked up,'' I mumble to myself.
I realized how serious that conversation was to him the moment we sat down at his dining room table and I told myself that no matter how much it hurt to stare into his ocean blue eyes I would be an adult and talk to him.
My stomach churns and I quickly turn towards the floor, knocking the jacket out of my lap as I throw up whatever it is that I ate last.
I groan knowing that I'm never going to hear the end of puking on her designer carpet. When my vision clears from the tears I've obtained while upchucking the contents in my stomach I notice that most of it landed in a pot.
Wow.
Mariana hasn't taken care of me while I was drunk since college. We both used to have a pretty nasty drinking habit back then, but ever since she kicked hers she acts as if she's this nun to drinking.
I really hate people who put themselves on a pedestal. I mean yeah, some people are generally better than others, but you don't have to be the type of person who flaunts your perfection in the face of people who have those flaws.
I reach down to get his jacket off of the floor. A piece of paper falls from the jacket, and I manage to grab it just before it falls into the pot.
I unfold the piece of paper, not stopping to think that it fell from his jacket so it's really none of my business.
-'For starters, just puke in the pot bro, she looks like the type to get pissed if you mess up her carpet. But anyway, you were at a celebration breakfast for work. You got plastered. Rule #2 Learn Your Lies. -Damien'-
My eyes gloss over with tears before I can stop them. Every part of me hopes Mariana isn't home because I can feel myself about to break down again.
Why does he keep leaving me these fucking notes?
Is this some type of sick game of his? To constantly remind me of being in that hotel room?
I had to wake up in that hotel room to a note.
I had to wake up in his penthouse to a note.
Now I'm waking up in my own house to a note.
I'm tired of all these fucking notes!
My breathing quickens, and I feel lightheaded. I look around, seeing a glass of water sitting on the table and I reach for it emphatically. I bring the glass to my lips, downing half of its contents. I feel the cool liquid travel down my throat and hit the very pit of my stomach.
A groan breaks free from my lips as the emptiness of my stomach results in a painful ache from my lower abdomen. I sit the glass back down on the table, wrapping my arms around myself as I lean back on the couch.
The one memory I've been dreading for seven years appears in my mind, and I can feel a tear slip free from my eyes as I try but fail to push it out of my thoughts.
''Are you falling asleep on me?'' Damien asks me. He pulls me from the other side of the crummy hotel bed and over to him. I sit up, smiling and gripping the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss.
His lips settle down on mines and I can feel the little beads of water from his shower trickling down from his hair to wet my hand.
''Do you want me to stay up so we can talk more?'' I ask him, looking into his ambient ocean blue eyes.
He shakes his head.
''Not if you're tired. We can talk tomorrow.'' He replies. He pushes me down onto the bed, laying down behind me and pulling me into a spooning position.
I feel his lips kiss the back of my neck. His teeth follow, nibbling at my ear gently.
You'd think finally having sex with Damien would fill him up on sexual hunger. But nothing fills him up. Damien is insatiable to any and all things sex related.
I roll over to face him, giving him a hard kiss on the lips.
''And how am I supposed to sleep when you're doing that?'' I ask. He grins at me. An innocent grin.
''Doing what?'' He asks cluelessly. This asshole here. His lips land on mines again and he climbs on top of me. ''Why'd you put these back on?'' He groans into my mouth, his hands tugging at the waistband of my briefs.
I laugh.
''Why didn't you put yours back on?'' I tease, feeling his erection growing as he grinds on me.
His laughter vibrates my neck as he sucks roughly. I squint my eyes in slight discomfort, running my hands along his arms.
''You've been sucking the life out of my neck all night, pick another spot before you pop an artery or something.'' I whine.
He pulls away from my neck, looking me in my eyes with a smile on his face.
''Oh yeah?'' He asks with that mischievous tone of his. I roll my eyes at him and he dips his head down, grabbing my left nipple into his mouth and sucking eagerly.
For the life of me I can't figure out why this amuses me, but I find myself bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Damien stops attempting to milk my nipple and sits up on top of me.
''What?'' He asks, genuine confusion coating his face. I shrug.
''You're adorable,'' I admit. He arches one of his bold brown eyebrows at me.
''I'm trying to make you scream my name...and you're thinking about me being adorable?'' He asks, leaning back down towards me. I laugh, nodding my head at him. He smiles, kissing my nose. ''You get really goofy when you're tired it's so fucking cute.''
''I hate when you call me that,'' I complain. I can feel a pout taking over my mouth.
''I know, not that I care though,'' He replies nonchalantly. I roll my eyes at him.
''Geez Damien, blow me.'' I say to him, joking.
''My pleasure,'' He groans out, making his way down my body, pedaling kisses as he goes. His hands grip my ass, pulling my briefs down my legs and tossing them off the bed.
''I was joking Damien...but...'' I can't seem to remember how words work as his mouth licks the underside of my erection, sucking on it dutifully. ''Fuck,'' I groan out, his hand clamping around the base of my penis.
''I was trying to,'' I hear Damien say before his lips lock around the tip of my erection. ''But you were calling me all adorable and shit.'' He teases. He looks up at me with a smirk on his face, his hand pumping my length quickly.
''If you could talk less...I would appreciate that so-so much right now.'' I breath out. I run my hand over my face, taking a deep breath.
I hear Damien laugh. My hand reaches down and grips his wrist, stopping him from stroking me. I look him straight in his eyes.
''My body is very sensitive right now,'' I say to him.
''Mhmm,'' He hums in response, smiling. I give him a warning glare and he quickly attempts to hide his smile.
''So every time you touch me I'm struggling to stop myself from cumming within the first two minutes,'' I admit to him, ''Don't tease me Damien, because this will end in blue balls for you.'' I warn.
He smirks.
''That's actually really sexy. You're really sexy when you're trying to be intimidating.'' He says. He releases me from his grip, climbing out of the bed.
''Damien,'' I groan, not in the mood for his playfulness. He heads in the direction of the bathroom. ''What, where are you going?''
''I'm about to run some bath water.'' He says, walking into the bathroom. I hear the water in the tub start to run.
I arch a brow in his direction. I glance down at my abandoned erection and a sigh leaves my lips as I fall back on the bed.
''You just took a shower, Damien.'' I say. He pokes his head out of the bathroom. His blue eyes locking with my gaze.
''For you,'' He clarifies. I see a devious twinkle in his eyes and I squint my eyes at him.
''Don't try to sound all sweet. You're probably about to try to fuck me in the tub.'' I say.
Damien laughs. He turns the running water off and walks back into the room.
My boner is officially gone. He leans over me, staring into my eyes. He smiles softly before leaning down more to let his lips connect with mines. I grab his bottom lip between my teeth, nudging him to open his mouth more.
I taste a bitter iron flavor on my tongue, pulling away from the kiss to see his bruised lip split open again, the blood slowly draining from it.
''Fuck, I'm sorry,'' I mumble, bringing my hand up to wipe the blood that's trailing from his lip to his chin. He smiles for some reason. I don't see what's funny about this but then again, it's his sense of humor.
He grips my legs in one of his arms, wrapping the other around my torso and lifting me up from the bed.
''I can walk,'' I inform him as he walks us into the bathroom. He lets me free from his arms once we're in front of the tub that's now full of water. He loosens the towel from around his waist, letting it fall to the floor.
After he climbs into the tub and settles himself in he pulls me in with him, bringing my back to rest against his chest.
''Do not touch me with that cheap hotel soap,'' I complain as he goes to reach for a tiny bar of soap resting on the edge of the tub.
''You're so prissy,'' He teases. I roll my eyes at him. He grabs the wash towel instead, dipping it into the water and running it over my chest.
I lean my head back to rest on his. The feeling of the towel running over my skin lulls me into a quick daze of sleep.
I feel myself being covered up into a warm blanket and the temperature change pulls me back into consciousness.
I open my eyes, looking over my shoulder to see Damien climbing into the bed as well, pulling the cover over himself and gesturing for me to come lay on his chest.
Some part in me wants to complain that it's not such a good idea considering the beating he just went through only hours ago, but the part of me that just wants to go to sleep finally wins and I find myself scooting closer to him, resting my head on his chest as I wrap my arm around his torso, snuggling myself into his body.
A chill wakes me up in the morning. Reluctantly I open my eyes, sitting up as I rub the exhaustion from them.
''Damien,'' I call out, looking next to me and seeing the bed empty. Damien is impossible to wake up in the morning, so I'm just surprised that he woke up before me.
Then again last night really took all the energy out of me...
I get up from the bed. A soreness hits my lower back and I find myself slowly sitting back down on the bed.
''Damn,'' I moan, rubbing my lower back gently. Of course I expected some soreness despite the fact that Damien was actually gentle for once.
''Damien!'' I call again, realizing that there is no way I'm making it to the bathroom alone. He still doesn't reply.
I look over to the nightstand to see the room key still sitting there. I know the asshole didn't go out for food and forget to take the key with him.
I sigh, attempting again to stand up. I make it on my feet, ignoring the pain as I hobble my way into the bathroom.
Finishing, I walk back into the room looking for my cell phone so that I can call him. I check on the dresser, then the nightstand. I stand up, grabbing the thin hotel blanket and shaking it.
I see something fall to the floor but as I lean over to pick it up annoyance fills me when I realize that it isn't my phone.
I grip the folded piece of paper in my hand. Sitting on the bed I flip it open and feel my eyes began to water as I read it.
Dear Steven,
I wasn't drunk when I kissed you that night, I was barely even buzzed. I wanted to.
Steven, I wanted to kiss you that night. I've wanted to kiss you ever since the first week we met. I'm sorry for lying about that.
I'm sorry for a lot of things.
The Bro-Code;
#1: Never get caught.
#2: Learn your lies.
#3: What happens in the closet stays in the closet.
#4: Never break the Bro-Code.
We failed number one. I don't regret it. Everything that has brought us closer together, I'll never regret any of it.
I'm pretty sure we fucked up number two on many occasions. But we fucked up together.
I ruined number three for us. I'm not proud of how everything played out when I told my parents. I just want you to know and understand that none of it is your fault.
Right now, I'm breaking number four.
So right now, I'm saying fuck the Bro-Code. It was never about the Bro-Code it's about us and I love you.
I can't apologize enough for what I've done to you, because I know my words mean nothing. They can't ever justify my actions enough for you to forgive me and I know that.
I'm sure right now your upset and you're probably cursing me out in every language you know but I won't apologize for what I'm doing right now.
Yes, I'm deeply sorry for causing you the pain that's going to follow, but no Steven, I'm not sorry for leaving, because I'm doing it for reasons I can't bring myself to explain. But most importantly you should know I'm doing it for you.
I love you more than I love myself. You didn't fuck my life up Steven you made it worth living, but I can't go back home. My parents will never accept me, and I know that.
But you have a chance.
And it would be so cruel of me to take that away from you. Your parents will forgive you, Steven. I know they will. They love you. I want you to tell them what they want to hear. Even if it means bashing me, I don't care. I want what's best for you.
Steven...Steven I'm not best for you. You're so perfect and I'm not worth your future. And I want you to have that future.
I love you so much baby. I must have written that a million times already, but I don't care, it's true. I'll always love you, that's why I have to do this, please never forget that.
Please never forget our love.
I feel something inside me burst as the piece of paper slips from my fingers and falls to the floor.
There's sweat coating my hands and forehead as tears make their leap from my eyes and onto my heated cheeks.
Is this some sort of sick joke?
I get up from the bed, searching the room. I'm looking everywhere, tearing the room apart and it only ends in me collapsing on the floor when I fail to find his bag of clothes or any trace of him left in the room.
I began to drown in my tears...in that ocean of blue that left me to sink.
My eyes are shut but I can still feel the tears seeping through.
That happened seven years ago but hell, I can still feel the pain as if I was in the moment.
''Jesus fucking Christ,'' I mutter when my entire body trembles in a wave of pain. The pain of a seventeen-year-old boy.
That day in the hotel room is something that completely wrecked my entire being.
I didn't expect to wake up to an empty bed. An empty room.
And I don't care how many times Damien apologizes for abandoning me like that, deep down I know it wont change anything.
His sorry can't possibly take away all the pain I felt that day.
I mean the least he could've done was have the balls to face me. Wake me up and tell me to my face that he was going to leave me behind. Give me the chance to argue with him, to plead my case.
I just wanted that fucking chance to make him stay.
But like all my other choices, he took that from me as well.
And I hate how my brain is trying to wrap itself around his reasoning. Trying to make sense of the choices that he made that resulted in me having that breakdown.
No.
Fuck his choices.
A sigh leaves my lips. I don't mean it.
The fifteen-year-old inside me really wants to hate Damien. Hate him for kissing me that night and starting all of this.
And the seventeen-year-old wants to fucking kill him for leaving me in that hotel room like that.
But the twenty-two-year-old just can't deny the fact that it's impossible for me to feel that way towards him.
That my love for him is still locked away inside my heart. Hell, if I'm being honest my love for him has my heart locked.
But none of that changes the pain.
All of this pain because he left me. All because I had to wake up to that stupid letter instead of a face to face explanation from him.
I open my eyes, staring up at the living room ceiling. The tears keep falling and I don't bother to wipe them away. Through my clouded haze of vision an impulse strikes me.
My feet hit the floor before my brain has the power to tell them to stop. I fight the dizziness I feel coming over me as I make my way up the stairs. I enter my bedroom, my tired eyes scanning the area to make sure I'm alone before I go into the closet.
I rummage through the items on the shelf. Pushing a few shoe boxes out of the way I finally come across my black rectangular safe. I pull it down from the shelf, sitting down on the floor as I adjust the dials on it to input the correct password.
23-01-98
I open the box, moving a few things around until I spot what I'm looking for.
I grip it in my hands, my vision blurring up again.
The tears fall, and my eyes focus on the faded pen marks on the paper. His hand writing hasn't changed much.
My hand begins to tremble, I grip the letter tighter.
I stop myself from reading over it again. It's like picking a seven-year-old scab. There's going to be nothing but harm inflicted.
My eyes are like a leaky faucet. I tell myself to just look at the letter and not take anything in, but I fail of course.
And one part sticks out to me in particular.
''I wasn't drunk when I kissed you that night, I was barely even buzzed. I wanted to.''
I remember that night...how can I forget it?
Things were so easy in the beginning with him and I. Damn, things were nearly innocent.
I close my eyes, allowing my mind to piece together the memory of that night.
''You're cute too.'' I say to him. ''When you're not lying.''
He squints his eyes at me.
''Don't fucking play with me, kid.'' He says in a threatening tone.
''I'm not fucking playing with you.'' I say seriously. He rolls his eyes at me.
''Yeah, okay.'' He replies, clearly not believing me. I shrug, walking into the bathroom. I close the bathroom door behind me.
Or at least I try.
Before I can even get the door shut all the way I feel it being pushed open. I look up to see Damien eyeing me, his hand pushing against the door, shoving it open.
I take my hand off the door knob, allowing him to push the door open. He enters the bathroom with me shutting the door behind him and turning to face me.
''Let's say...I've had too much to drink." Damien says, eyeing me closely. He takes a step forward and as if we're on the same wavelength I take a step back.
I arch a brow at him in confusion.
What is he even talking about?
He takes another step towards me and in my efforts to back up my calf hits the edge of the bathtub. Nearly causing me to tumble backwards if it were not for a very strong hand that clasps around my arm, pulling me back on my feet and keeping me steady.
''You don't seem like the type,'' I say, referring to him having too much to drink. I put my hand over his, removing it from my arm.
I look up at his face, catching his eyes as they trail over my face, over my lips.
He grabs my hand before I can release his after I remove it from my arm, entwinning our fingers together and getting a tight grip on my hand.
And although I'm extremely confused as to what the hell is going on I'm not uncomfortable.
I look down at our hands clasped together. I grip his hand back.
Looking back up into his eyes, I find his face closer than it was just a minute ago. My heart accelerates in my chest.
''What? You can't smell the beer on my breath?'' He asks. He arches one of his brown eyebrows at me in question.
I shake my head at him.
He leans closer, tilting his head down and leaving but an inch in between us. He barely leaves me enough room to breathe. I know he feels my nervous breaths leaving my mouth in little pants of air and hitting his lips in the process.
''Come closer then,'' He whispers.
Despite a part of me wanting to lean forward and kiss him, wanting to lean forward and put out this burning flame of curiosity that started with him calling me cute...I'm frozen to the bone.
It's like a bolt in my body fell out of place, preventing me from moving. I find myself looking into his eyes in the same second that all his patience leaves his body.
His blue eyes take on a darker shade and his lips conquer mines.
And for a minute I thought that he might actually be drunk. He's kissing a guy right now.
I'm kissing a guy right now.
I honestly don't know what the hell is going on anymore. My mind is telling me to pull away, but my body is perfectly fine feeling his lips against my own.
I allow my eyes to close when I feel his free hand gripping the back of my neck. He pulls me closer to him by my neck, making his way into my mouth with his tongue.
And at this point with the tight grip he has on my neck I have no escape anymore even if I wanted to.
And about a minute into the kiss I realize that that's not what I want to do.
It's like instead of the fire of my curiosity dying out, it grew into something...something like lust.
I feel my palms getting sweaty and I grip his waist as his tongue continues to free dive into my mouth. My lips were tingling, and I could feel myself slowly getting hard.
I don't understand why I'm feeling the exact same way I feel when I kiss a girl while I'm kissing him.
I lean into him more, feeling our chests rub against each other.
The sound of something shattering upstairs has him pulling his lips off of mines.
''Fucking idiots,'' He mutters, panting for air. He rests his forehead against mines.
I hear Jackson and Carter laughing, followed by the giggling of girls.
He picks his head up, looking into my eyes. He releases my hand, removing his hand from my neck and turning around.
''Wait,'' I say before he can make it to the bathroom door.
I hear him sigh, but he stops nonetheless, turning around to look at me.
''You should go home,'' He says before I can even say what I want to.
I can feel the frown as it forms on my face.
''What? Why?'' I ask him, not hiding an ounce of the anger in my voice.
He glances down at the floor before his eyes are looking into mines once again. I see him bite the inside of his cheek, causing me to speak before he can even open his mouth.
''Don't fucking lie to me dude. Your tongue was just dancing with my tonsils I'm pretty sure that warrants us being honest with each other.'' I demand.
He chuckles, his blue eyes beaming.
''There's that feistiness.'' He teases.
''Damien,'' I say seriously. I take a few steps forward until I'm standing right in front of him. ''Why do you want me to leave?" I ask again.
Another sigh leaves his lips.
''I'm about to go upstairs and pretend to get plastered. Make out with a girl who's name I don't care to learn and fuck her in the hot tub,'' He says bluntly, ''And I don't want you to see that, so go home.''
''I could go home...or you could not do it if you're as serious as you say you are about not wanting me to see.'' I state.
He shakes his head.
''You don't understand kid,'' He looks at me and I see restraint in his eyes. There's something he wants to tell me, but I doubt he will. ''Just go home.''
The sound of someone throwing up pulls me from my memories.
I toss the letter back into the safe, closing it. I place the safe back in its previous spot before leaving the closet.
Wiping the tears from my eyes I fight the lightheadedness that I feel while making my way down the stairs.
I make a left down the hallway, pushing the door open to the bathroom to find Mariana with her face buried into the toilet.
A sigh leaves my lips as I put aside my anger and kneel beside her. I move her hair from her face, restraining it for her as my hand rubs soothing circles on her back.
After I'm sure she's done I let her hair go. Standing up I reach into the mirror cabinet taking the mouthwash out and pouring some into the cap for her.
I hand it to her.
''Are you okay?'' I ask her. She stands up, moving over to the sink to spit the mouthwash out.
A soft sigh leaves her lips.
''Yeah, Dr. Peyton said the morning sickness should be ending any day now.'' She replies.
A curt little breath of air leaves my lips. How was I so fucking blind to this? Even if I was too stupid to figure out that she was trying to get pregnant behind my back I should have at least noticed the changes in her.
I mean I've never once heard her puking her guts out, not including now of course because at this point she has no reason to hide it from me.
But even looking at her now dressed in nothing but her pajama shorts and a tank top I wouldn't even think that she was pregnant. She definitely isn't showing.
And I doubt that she's just a month or so if the morning sickness is supposed to be over soon.
''How far are you along? About three months?'' I ask her. She turns around to face me, leaning against the sink as I let my back rest against the bathroom wall.
''Around two months,'' She answers guiltily. Her eyes fall from mines as she stares at the floor.
''Wow,'' I utter out. So for four months I've been an oblivious idiot. Although I won't put myself down too much because damn she hid it well.
And here I was believing that we didn't lie to each other.
A part of me is still in this state of shock. For a few minutes my brain acknowledges that this is actually happening, that I'm about to have a child, and then I honestly forget about it completely.
It's more so suppression than it is forgetfulness. My mind is involuntarily pushing things away to relieve stress.
I'm doing exactly to this situation what I did with the Damien situation.
Pretending like it never happened just to ease my pain.
I can't do that though. This isn't by far the same situation. You can't push a baby away. You can't just pretend like it doesn't exist. Not that I would ever do that.
I don't want a child right now in my life, that I know for sure. But I'm going to love and care for him or her regardless of the shit that I'm going through or the fucked up situation that brought them into this world.
I can't be with Mariana.
Literally at this point just being in the same room with her has me wanting to cry because I feel like she used me, I know she lied to me, and I'm questioning whether she ever really loved me.
It's all just so much to deal with.
At the same time though I want to be there for the pregnancy. I feel like abandoning her while she's pregnant is almost the same thing as abandoning my child. And fuck there really isn't a how to guide on breaking up with your pregnant fiancée.
''Did you ever feel bad...even a little bit, about lying to me?'' I ask her.
''Of course,'' She answers quickly, ''Steven as hard as you may find it to believe I didn't want to hide this from you. In the beginning I was just so afraid to tell you. We were doing so well, and I was just terrified that you'd call off the wedding and want me to get an abortion or just not want anything to do with me or the baby at all. I kept telling myself that I'd tell you with everyday that passed but...I don't know! Hiding it just became so easy and my guilt kept getting in the way of me trying to be honest...''
I stare at her with anger on my face.
''I don't know what pisses me off more,'' I say to her, my teeth grinding together, ''The fact that you think so little of me that you really believed I would force you to get an abortion, or the fact that your pride not your guilt got in the way of you being honest with me.''
''Steven please just try to understand—''
''Understand? You think I don't understand why you did what you did? Mariana you don't love me. What more is there for me to understand?'' I ask her.
''That's not true,'' She argues, ''I want a family with you, Steven. I want to have your children and make a home for us! If that isn't love, then what is?''
''Honesty,'' I answer simply, ''Honesty, trust, and respect. That's what love is.'' I shake my head, sighing.
''Look Mariana,'' I take a step closer to her. ''Right now, I think that all we should focus on is your pregnancy.''
She leans forward, her hand coming up to caress my face. I grip her hand in mines.
''What does that mean for us?'' She asks.
I take her hand from my face, placing it on her stomach and letting my hand rest over hers.
''It's not about us anymore.'' I respond.
I see her eyes water.
''This isn't how I wanted this to go. I didn't mean to hurt you.'' Mariana pleads.
I shake my head. There's nothing I can say to her to make her feel better about what she did because she fucked up. She didn't mean to hurt me she claims, well I definitely don't mean to leave her hurting right now, but I have to get out of here.
''Can you make a doctor's appointment for tomorrow? I'd like to know everything that's going on with the baby. And we can finish this conversation after the appointment.'' I say.
''You're not staying here?'' She asks.
''No, I have something to do. I'll come back tonight though.''
''You'll come back drunk.'' She sneers.
''Mariana if I were you I'd be a little less judgmental about me drinking to deal with the shit you're putting me through,'' I retort.
I walk out of the bathroom, her following closely behind me.
''I don't mean to be so judgmental about—''
''Yes you do,'' I say, cutting her off.
''Steven I really don't. It's just that clearly with the baby on the way you should work on your drinking problem. This is why I've been so upset with you drinking lately.'' She explains.
I make my way down the hall and to the front door.
''Mariana the only reason my drinking got so bad again is because I figured out you were fucking lying to me. But you know what? You're right, and I'll stop drinking so much. Just give me some space okay?'' I say, turning around to see her not even a step away from me.
Me having a problem with alcohol is not something that I want in my child's life. I know that, and I know I need to work on it.
I grab my jacket off of the coat rack, slipping my arms through the warm fabric.
''I'll see you later,'' I tell her.
I grab my keys from the table next to me. Opening the door, I head straight for my car. Starting it up, and as in an endless routine the first thing I do is turn the heater on.
I put my seat belt on, pulling away from the curb and onto the street. I come to a red light and quickly place my phone on the dashboard holster, my GPS app active.
In about twenty minutes I'm pulling over and turning my car off. I get out of the car, placing my phone in my pocket as I take my time walking to the front door.
I press the buzzer on the door. After a few minutes pass by I look at the watch on my wrist.
It's ten in the morning, who's not awake right now? I hit the buzzer again.
About two minutes later the door swings open. A pair of squinted green eyes pierce into my brown eyes.
Before I can find the words to greet him Cody smothers me in a hug.
''Jesus,'' I say, hugging him back after he affectively knocks the air from my body.
We release each other, and I examine him. He's tall as hell now, looking strikingly like his mother. The only thing of his features that shows his relation to Damien is his murky brown hair and prominent Italian nose.
''Damn what're you now like 17,18?'' I ask smiling. I pull him in for another hug before entering the penthouse, closing the door behind me.
''Four more months until I'm eighteen. But how've you been though Steven? I see you moved all the way across the country to get away from my brother.'' Cody teases.
I role my eyes as he leads the way into the living room.
''You know I actually missed your annoying ass. I'm a lawyer now, I have my own firm.'' I tell him. We take a seat on the couch.
''Ew. Sounds boring. That's not what you told me you wanted to do.''
Cody states.
I shrug.
''When did you get to New York anyway? Tell me what you're up to these days.'' I ask him.
''I just got here yesterday, I would've stalked you and all but that's kind of Damien's thing. I figured if you two were talking again I'd see you eventually though. But the shit I'm going through these days...there's just too much to explain.''
''Nothing serious right?'' I ask, worriedly. Cody shrugs.
''I guess it's just teenager shit, but it's still a lot to deal with for me. It's cool though, I just have to figure some stuff out.'' He explains.
''Aye I'm always here for you,--''
''Well duh,'' He says, punching my arm. He hands his phone to me. ''Here put your number in,'' I take his phone from his hand, putting my number into it and sending a message to my phone so that I can save his number later.
I hand him his phone back.
''My brothers' room is down that hall, second door on the left,'' Cody informs me. He gets off of the coach and starts to walk away.
''Or you could go wake him up for me. Hospitality?'' I suggest.
''Dude you're family, not a guest. I'm going back to sleep.'' Cody says as he heads up the stairs.
I sigh, standing up and following the directions he gave me. I knock on the door a couple times.
Just when I go to reach for the knob the door opens. My eyes trail up slowly. I take in Damien's hand gripping the white towel that's wrapped around his waist. Beads of water cover his abs and torso, dripping down from his nipples.
''Is me seeing you in a towel going to be the new normal now?'' I ask once my eyes reach his.
He smirks.
''Give me a minute,'' He says. He shuts the door. I sigh, leaning against the wall next to his door.
Not too long after he opens his door again fully clothe. ''C'mon,'' He says, leading the way into the room. I shut the door behind me as I follow him inside.
He sits on the foot of his bead, gesturing for me to sit next to him. I take a seat. He speaks before I can let a word escape my lips.
''Steven before you say anything, just listen okay?'' He says. I nod, giving him my full attention. ''I don't know what you're going through right now, and you were right, I have no right to just barge back into your life and demand to know everything about it. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.
But I'm respectfully telling you right now that I know you have a drinking problem. And I'm not going to judge you or shame you or anything like that. All I want to do is help you, no strings attached. I'm not doing it in hopes of getting anything from you, I just...I know you don't feel like you owe me anything, but I feel like I owe you at least this much. Hell, I owe you more. The last thing I want to do is see you go down this road that I grew up on. So please just accept my help.''
I see the worry buried deep within the ocean of his eyes.
''Okay,'' I agree, ''Under one condition,'' I add quickly.
I reach into my pocket, taking out the note that he wrote to me last night. I hand it to him.
''No more notes. I don't like waking up to goodbyes from you, Damien.'' I tell him seriously.
''Okay, no more notes, got it. I'm sorry about that.'' He says. He eyes what I'm wearing. ''If I find out you puked on my favorite leather jacket we can't be friends anymore.'' He says.
I laugh.
''We're friends?'' I ask.
''Friends help each other. We're friends Steven.'' Damien replies.
''By the way, Cody let me in and I barely recognized him. He's tall as hell now.''
''I know right. I give him another year until I'm looking up to make eye contact with him.'' Damien jokes. ''What're you doing today?'' He asks.
''Umm, nothing really.'' I answer shrugging.
''Good,'' Damien stands up, ''Go shower, I'll lend you some of my clothes to wear.''
I arch a brow at him. Do I stink or something? I stand up, discretely sniffing my pits in the process.
''Why?'' I demand.
''Well you're not doing anything today, and neither am I. And I know I said that you don't have to tell me anything about your life or what you're going through but I'm hoping the more comfortable you get around me you'll want to. So, I figure we hang out today, just chill. I'll take you to some of the places that I don't absolutely hate in this cold ass state.'' He explains.
''Okay look I'm not totally against that idea but why do I have to shower?''
''You're wearing the same thing you wore yesterday. And the day before that.'' He deadpans. ''Go take a quick shower and we'll leave. It's right through there.'' He points to his bathroom.
I eye him before eventually sighing in defeat. I am in the same clothes I wore to the photoshoot and that was like two days ago.
I get up, walking towards the bathroom. I enter the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Turning the shower on, I take my jacket off, stripping out of my shirt as I go to stare into the mirror.
I look like shit.
I think to myself, staring at my reflection.
I run a hand over my face.
Just as I'm about to undo the buckle of my belt the bathroom door opens.
I back up, seeing Damien standing there with a towel and a change of clothes.
''Sorry, I heard the shower and figured you were already in. I was just going to sit this on the contour.'' He says, handing it to me.
Instead of leaving immediately after, he stands there.
''Yeah?'' I imply with a small smirk, referring to his eyes grazing along my exposed torso.
''C'mon, I saw where your eyes were when I opened my bedroom door,'' He says laughing. I fight back the laugh that wants to leave my lips, instead portraying a serious expression. ''Okay I'm leaving, the extra toothbrushes are under the sink.'' He informs me, closing the door behind him.
This is about to be an interesting day with Damien.
∆A/N∆
I'm Back! Back again!
Isn't there a song that goes something like that?
Lol hello my fellow Wattpadians, and umm...Happy Labor day to everyone who celebrates it.
So let's hop right into it! Despite the slowness of the updates (I'm sooo sorry btw) Damien and Steven are doing quite well with getting back on track even though their personal lives are putting them through the wringer.
Speaking of their personal lives...
Is anyone else really proud of Damien for how maturely he's handling the situation with Steven? Or do you feel as if he's giving Steven too much leeway with the way he's acting?
I personally, do not have as much patience as Damien does, but aye. *shrugs*
Then again Steven is going through a lot.
He very subtly broke up with Mariana...ouch.
Do you guys have any new feelings about Steven's issues with Mariana?
How do you feel about how Steven's handling the fact that he's about to have a child? How do you think Damien is gong to feel when he finds out?
I feel like a lot happened in this chapter. Okay so I have a few things to tell you all;
Firstly, I don't know if I informed y'all about this but I entered this story into the 2018 Wattys....don't get too excited, lol I didn't make the long list so there goes that. Congratulations to all the long list winners though. I don't think I'll be entering the 2019 Wattys.
Secondly, I'm thinking about making a book trailer for this book. I've actually already started it but please tell me now if you guys would actually be interested in watching it so I can know whether to finish it or not.
Welp, I guess I really only had two things to tell you all. :)
Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of the story!
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Posted: September 3, 2018.