Chapter 41: Twist of Fate
Pinagmasdan ko ang pag-alis ni Helena. Nang tuluyan siyang mawala sa paningin ko ay halos bumagsak ako sa sofa. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko na patuloy sa malakas na pagtibok.
Ano'ng ibig sabihin ni Helena? She said she's saving me from a bigger pain that's why she's doing what she's doing. Pero may mas lalala pa ba sa sakit na nararamdaman ko? At kung meron man, kakayanin ko ba?
Iniwan ko ang painting sa sala bago umalis sa mansion ni Landon. Sa huling pagkakataon ay tinitigan ko ang karangyaan nito. The place would be taken down soon according to Helena. Maybe I should do the same thing. For me to start over and rebuild myself, I have to take this emotions down.
Nadatnan ko si Elyse sa condo nang umuwi ako noong hapong 'yon. Agad siyang tumayo mula sa sofa nang makita ako.
"Where have you been?" she asked. There was edge and sadness in her voice.
"Bakit?" Tanong ko.
Nag alala ako na isang masamang balita nanaman ang bubungad sa akin. I had enough of it for the past few days.
Inabot ni Elyse ang isang sobre. It was from the university. Agad ko itong binuksan at binasa ang nakalagay sa sulat. Natulala ako at hindi nakapagsalita.
"I made it," I whispered. "Nakapasa ako." I stared at Elyse who's half laughing and half in tears. "I passed the exchange program, Elyse!"
—
"So you would really leave?" Asked Elyse as we're about to go to sleep that night.
"I need it," I simple said.
"You've been in this city since you're a child."
"Maybe that's why I badly need to leave. There's a lot of memories in this place. But they weren't exactly good memories."
It all started when Dad left us. Then Mom got hospitalized. I had to sell everything we own for her to live. And I live this kind of life for her to return to who she was before Dad ruined us.
And there's Landon, who I sold my life for a blood contract. Landon who has a messed up family I came to face with. Landon who I tragically fell in love with.
"How about Landon?" Asked Elyse as if reading my mind. "The Monaghans?"
Hindi ako agad naka sagot. Tinitigan ko ang kisame.
"It's a tragic twist of fate," I said. "It will be like any other love that's faded."
There are things that are meant to stay as they are no matter how much we try to work them out. There are things that we love that we need to give up because the more we hold them tight, the more we lose ourselves.
People may say I'm a coward for letting things go on the first sight of threat. But all my life, I've been fighting too much for too long. I'm tired.
"Just promise me one thing, Denise," said Elyse as we lay side by side with each other. "Promise me you're not doing this to escape. Promise me you're doing this to start again," she said.
"I'm not escaping, Elyse. I'm starting again."
—
Kinabukasan pumunta ako sa coffee shop para mag paalam.
"Seryoso?" Sinabi ni Maureen. "Congrats, Denise!"
Niyakap niya ako at napatalon nang sinabi ko sa kanya ang tungkol sa exchange program.
"Pero ibig sabihin aalis ka na sa coffee shop?" Bigla siyang nalungkot. "Wala na akong kasangga."
"Nandito pa sila," tukoy ko sa ibang staff ng coffee shop. "Ingatan niyo si Miss Van para sa akin."
Ngumiti si Maureen. "Gagawin namin. Mag iingat ka, Denise. Good luck."
Niyakap ko si Maureen sa huling pagkakataon. "Salamat."
Kumatok ako sa office ni Miss Van. She's rarely inside her office. She's always on her favorite spot in the coffee shop. But lately, I noticed she's been restless and staying in her office often.
"Denise," bati niya nang buksan ang pintuan. "Come in."
Pumasok ako sa office. I sat on the comfy cabreol sofa next to her drift wood and glass table. I always like Miss Van's style and personality. I always look up to her from the moment she accepted me in her coffee shop.
Sinabi ko ang dahilan kung bakit ako bumisita. Ngunit mukhang hindi na kailangan dahil alam na niya ito.
"I heard it from the staff," she said. "So are you going away?"
Tumango ako. "I'm leaving this Saturday," I said.
"How about Landon's engagement?"
Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. "I-It has nothing to do with me."
"It has everything to do with you."
I blinked. "Ano'ng ibig niyong sabihin?"
"Denise, I know I'm not in the right place to tell you this... but can you stay a little longer?"
Naguluhan ako. Ano ba ang pinupunto ni Miss Van?
"Landon made a mistake long ago. And I recently just discovered the truth."
"What truth?"
"You and Helena... you might be cousins."
—
Nakatulala ako habang nakasakay sa taxi papunta sa Saint Judes. Paulit ulit na puma-pasok sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Miss Van. Helena and I... are we really cousins?
Agad akong pumasok sa center at hinanap si Mama. Pumunta ako sa kwarto niya at nakitang naka-empake na ang mga gamit niya. This is what supposed to happen. We are supposed to leave.
Kinagat ko ang labi ko at pinilit na kumalma. We waited for four years for this day to come. I'm so near to starting again. But why am I being pulled back to the world I was trying to stay away from?
"Denise?"
Napalingon ako sa pintuan. Pumasok si Mama sa kwarto.
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?"
Inalalayan ko siya papunta sa kama niya. "Ma, I passed the exchange program."
Ngumiti si Mama. "Masaya ako para sayo, anak," sinabi niya. "Matagal mo itong hinintay, hindi ba? Ang makapag simulang muli."
Tumango ako. Yes, this is supposed to be the only thing important to me right now. Pero bakit? Why am I being push to another direction?
"Mom," I said. "Remember when you told me about my counsin?"
Mom stared at me with a gentle nod. "What about it?"
"Is she still alive?"
Huminga nang malalim si Mama. "Bago nangyari ang gulo sa ating pamilya, matagal na akong walang balita sa kanila. The last time I did heard about them was with your Dad. Ang sabi niya may nakaalitan ang kanyang kapatid at nadamay ang kanyang pamilya. Hindi niya na nahanap ang mga ito upang tulungan dahil nagtago ang mga ito o nagpalit ng pangalan."
Helena Morgan. Posible ba na siya ang pinsan ko?
"Natatandaan niyo po ba kung saan nagtrabaho si Papa noon?"
Napaisip si Mama. "Isa sa kondisyon ng trabaho ng iyong ama ay ang pagiging confidential nito. Maging ako noon ay walang masyadong alam tungkol dito. All I know was he's working for a wealthy family as a driver and personal guard of their young son."
Bigla akong nanlamig sa narinig.
"Ah, I remember the name... Mrs. Francesca. She's the wife of a weathy man. I remember her being so elegant, so beautiful, and very kind."
"D-Did you already saw her?"
Mahinahon na tumango si Mama. "There was this one time... only once kung saan inimbitahan ang ama mo sa pagtitipon at sinama niya tayo. Hindi tayo nagtagal sa mansion but we had the chance to meet the woman he's working for and her young son."
Tuluyang lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko. "Did you remember the name of her son?"
My voice cracked. Mom stared at me, confused with my sudden inquiry. Sa nakalipas na apat na taon ngayon lang ako nagtanong ng tungkol sa ama ko.
"I don't really remember his name," she said. "Pero ngayong nabanggit mo ang tungkol sa batang 'yon bigla akong may naalala. Hindi ko alam kung natatandaan mo pa ito, pero noong party na 'yon umiyak ka dahil nakilala mo ang batang inaalagaan ng ama mo sa halip na ikaw."
Napangiti si Mama.
"Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, inaway mo ang batang 'yon. You even told him that you would never be his friend kahit malapit siya sa iyong ama. And do you know what the kid said?"
Umiling ako at namuo ang luha sa mga mata ko.
"I'm sure we will meet again."
Tuluyang tumulo ang mga luha ko sa sinabi ni Mama. Napatayo ako.
"Mom," tahimik kong sinabi. "Is it... is it okay for you to stay here for a few more days?" I asked. "I just need... I need to find something really important."
Tumayo si Mama at hinaplos ang mukha ko. "Kung may kailangan ka pang ayusin, kaya kong maghintay anak."
"I'm so sorry. It won't take long."
Ngumiti si Mama. "Hwag mo akong intindihin. Nandito lang ako."
Huminga ako nang malalim at humarap kay Mama. "Thank you so much, Mom. I'll be back."
—
I remember this one time... it was the very first time I've seen something so glorious... so grand.
I never really know the concept of wealth and money and power as a kid. But when I stepped into that lavish place where my dad worked, I know it isn't a place for me.
There was a boy then. Who I hated so much. I don't remember his face... but I remember his smile and the reason why I hate him.
Siya ang batang inalagaan ni Papa sa halip na ako. Siya ang batang nilalaro o binubuhat ng ama ko sa halip na anak niya dahil sa trabaho. The young boy had it all. A wealthy clan, a loving mother, and that handsome, devilish smile.
"I'm sure we will meet again."
And we did.
After several years and horrible incidents that left both of our lives ashen and crumbled, we did meet again. But in a different circumstances.
I didn't remember you at all anymore, Labdon because I had promised to keep every memories with my dad behind. And you were one of them.
Clifford. That's what your Mom called you. That's the name you told me. And maybe... Clifford is who you once were before the genuine child became the devil, Landon.
But you know what didn't change?
It's the fact that I still hate you, especially now... especially now that I'm willing to risk everything to have you.
Is it possible for a twist of fate to be a redirection to where you belong? Because no matter how many twist and turns, and stops, our paths could have... I still find myself running back to you.
***