[Reader's POV]
Izaya-senpai, this isn't something to laugh about! Come on!
The man I loved, as I feared, never felt the same towards me. His eyes that stare at me held nothing like passion.
"No! Senpai, it can't be!" I screamed, squeezing my head with my other hand.
"Think of the person you truly love, that person - you didn't get along with him at first, but later on you did everything you can to keep that person out of trouble and that person stupidly risks his life to save you! The person who loves you puts his life in danger to save you, and would never think of using you to save his ass!" the blonde adult hectically and worriedly explained. "So please (F/n), wake up. Remember what love really is... Who you really love..."
"What... love really is...?" I repeated slowly. "Who I really love...?"
Suddenly, memories came flashing in my head. It's a burning feeling, warm yet painful, deep and nostalgic. It's like the whole life I knew was a lie.
I remember talking to Yuka-chan about how uneasy I feel when Shizuo-senpai look at me and avoid me all the time. That led to her concluding that we are a better pair. I still don't understand, but I think that the puzzle pieces are falling to the right places.
"(F/n)..." the adult Shizuo-senpai called me. I looked at him subconsciously and left his grip loosen. He had a painful smile in his face. "Don't forget... I love you."
After he said that, I was shocked and I was still utterly confused. Everything in the surroundings broke like glass and I feel like I am being zapped by my memories as I see them play around me in fast forward as my body travel in light. I can see all the happy and sad times I shared with my friends, family and my loved ones.
-
"Oi!" The blonde bartender called.
I turned around and looked up at him. "What?" I asked nonchalantly, at the same time, monotonously.
"That picture just now... was that me?"
"No." I ignored him and turned back to my business, flipping random articles and posts on my Facebook account.
Shizuo put down the tray on the nearest empty table. He didn't like the way I ignored him.
"That was me! I can't be wrong!" He didn't shout or raise his voice a single bit, but the way he said it was strong and demanding.
I pushed my chair back and stood up, facing him. "I don't know what you're trying to pull off, Mister," I said, rather annoyed. "Whatever you see in my page is not your concern!" I nearly spat the last word to his face. "Aren't you stalking me?"
-
"The last time really hurts... that time his men stabbed me..." Izaya stoop close to my face, trying to intimidate me.
"That was because you fucking broke all the information and you don't answer your calls!" I snapped at his face, "I'm not frightened with your ugly rat face!"
That's it. I guess I went too far. I should have just killed him right away. Orihara Izaya is not an easy target...
At that instant, he grabbed my face and squeezed it between his fingers, while pressing the heel of his shoe on one of my feet. I squeezed my eyes, wincing in pain.
"You really do know how to get into my nerves, assassin," he told me, intensifying my pain. "You can't kill me, but I can kill you right now," he added, raising a knife.
-
My mind was set. At exactly 1:30 in the morning, I woke up. The storm went down, it's dark inside, and I could hear soft snores. Everyone is sleeping, keeping themselves at home in their dreamlands.
I went back to my futon and stood right behind the blonde. I gripped tight into the weapon in my grasp. I won't kill him because I wanted to, but because this is my job and I can't do anything about it... How hostile must world be...?
"Celty-san, why? Why do you stop me?" I mouthed. I gritted my teeth and she just looked at me as I tried to get off her grasp. She looked at Shizuo and he seemed to be disturbed in his sleep.
Celty responded through her PDA, "(F/n), you're the assassin Izaya hired to kill Shizuo?"
"So what if I am?" I mouthed again. She tightened her grip on my wrist and I let go of the blade. She caught the knife by handle and brought it to herself.
I landed safe on the road as I jumped. I looked up once and ran away. Not looking where I was going, I tripped. One man went behind me and held my wrists behind with one hand. I struggled to get free, but I wasn't strong enough. Another man went in front of me and covered my face with a hanky.
As soon as my consciousness begin to fade, I heard the most shocking and ironic remark, "You did well, (F/n) (L/n). You did well tonight..."
-
I heard footsteps approaching. "There you are! You're finally awake, (F/n)!"
"I recognize that voice... you are..." When I turned to see who it was, I grasped in response. "Angela Veron, my rival ... And Alex Frodd!"
"Yes, it is us," Alex stoically answered.
The four men at the back pulled their hoods down and showed me their faces. I was taken aback in disbelief.
"Akari? Allison? Venn? Mari?!" I felt like I was crushed, with those friends holding the face of a traitor before me. And the men who took me last night who had covers in their faces looks the same as Akari and Venn. "What are you four doing here?!"
"No way..." I told myself.
Alex tied my mouth with a thick cloth. "Shut up."
I kept hearing the ring tone. I was hopeless. He wasn't picking up... I was begging deep inside, I was on the brink of shredding tears. Izaya, please... pick up your phone up...
Shortly, the demoness returned to me with a water hose and a wide dark grin across her face. "How would you like to enjoy what I'll do to you next? ~ "
-
"Thank Shizuo," Celty replied through her PDA, "He was the one who rescued you, and not me."
I looked down again. How could I? I threatened his life, yet he saved me...
"(F/n), I believed you won't really kill Shizuo. But how come this happened?" Shinra asked, worried, skeptical.
"Will you still kill Shizuo?" Celty asked this time.
I paused from that question and came up with a single answer. "Probably not..." I replied, attempting to smile, but ended up with an awkward failure, "I'm so fed up with my work and I want to change my life."
"Shizu-chan said he will be coming every now and then to check you up," Shinra inserted, "I think he was a little worried-"
"(F/n), you're already awake," the blonde said, closing the door behind him.
My eyes shut wide and my mouth opened agape as I looked at the man who opened the door. "S-Shizuo-san?"
"Shut up," he cut me off as he sat on the chair Celty left.
"I'm so sorry, I promise I won't get in your way anymore," I said apologetically, looking at my bandaged fingers, trying hard to fidget at their state. "After I leave, please forget about me. But I will forever be indebted of you."
"Nope." He stood up and stared outside the window. "This is the first time I got involved with a girl this far. You can keep that debt, but you can't make me forget."
"If you leave, don't come back anymore," he said, now looking at me. The sunset reinforced his face after he took off his sunglasses. I'm so relieved I didn't get kill him. "Then maybe, I will forget."
-
As I ran back, I lost track of the bandits. I went to the tallest tree and climbed up to look for them. I spotted those looters near the main gate.
As fast as I could, I chased them. Along with me, I brought heavy carriage boxes and bag of rocks that the villagers had prepared for me in case some bandits come to attack us. They replenish it every time I use them.
In one strike, I wiped out most of them, rendering them unable to escape. I'm not quite sure whether I broke their bones or not. I jumped in front of the remaining man standing and stood in my hand-in-hand combat form.
-
"Young lady, you're already awake!" The old lady raised her voice at me happily.
"What?" I subconsciously blurt as I fiercely face them. I felt a hand pressing on my arm; I looked at it and traced the hand to see a man holding a cotton on my arm. "W-What did you do to me?"
"I gave you an injection... you we're barely alive when we found you inside the gate," he answered monotonously.
"What injection did you give me?"
"Not that important to you, as long as it gave you life."
-
"Was that Ikebukuro?" he asked curiously.
I nodded. "Yes."
As I was in trance, he asked, "Do you want to go there?"
"Of course! I've always wanted to!" I blurted it excitedly without having a thought of not wanting to say it. I covered my mouth as I feared they don't want to hear it come from me.
"So, why not?" he said, "No one's stopping you."
"No way! I'm not leaving Archen Hannes to be defenseless for the sake of what I want." Actually, what am I saying? Aren't I excited; I can finally be free?
-
"Were you two outside while Chikara-san and I are talking?"
The kids nodded. "Were sorry for eavesdropping," they said in an apologetic sync.
"It's really my fault; I listened... But are you really going to leave us?" Malana have tears in her eyes as she hugged me.
"Please don't," Aaron pleaded, having the same expression as Malana. He hugged me as well.
-
Varona was surprised when attackers above fell, injured. She looked up and saw me, fighting alongside her.
"Don't worry, pretty miss!" I shouted an assurance in the mid of her fight. "I got your back."
From the looks of her face, Varona couldn't comprehend why a stranger helped her, but she decided to just focus on her attackers.
"By the way, you almost got shot!" I continued, "So if you're wondering why I helped you, that's that!"
-
As soon as I regained consciousness in the doctor's apartment, I turned my attention to this hot-headed guy who looked like he doesn't want to care.
"Excuse me, you look familiar," I told him. "Have we met somewhere before? Do you happen to know me?"
He didn't say a word. I took the initiative to introduce myself first, "My name is Leena Prestn, 24 years old. I was informed that I used to work in this city, so I came to visit and check out my old friends, but I don't really remember who they are..."
"Are you kidding us?" the blonde angrily shot at me, "What is with that false name?"
"Eh?"
-
I unconsciously glared at the blonde. "Are you the type of man that look down on women? Do I look weak to you because I put up a challenge and got beaten?"
"Hold on. I have nothing against you," he said, gesturing me to lay low and relax. I sense a bit of confusion on his voice, not entirely sure that he can handle the situation. I felt like I have the upper hand and let it up to my ego.
"I challenge you to a fight!" I pointed a strong finger on him, glaring at him until now. "It's a one-on-one fight! Let's see who will win and who will lose!"
-
The next time we talked was when we were already inside our unit. I was looking around with a happy glint on my eyes. "Wow, you really have a spacious room, Varona-san! You live by yourself, right?"
"Yes. Make yourself at home," Varona said as she turned to face me, putting on her game face. "I want you to fight me."
-
I drifted my gaze. "Why... are you being so kind to me, Shizuo-san?"
Confused, he replied. "Is there a reason for me not to be kind to you?"
I bit my lip, thinking of how he treated me before compared to now. The Shizuo-san in my dream... had it been real... has he always been this kind to me?
Without thinking, I asked, "Shizuo-san... what am I to you...?"
"You're very unreliable and you're a big pain in the ass," he said without reserve. "... Also, you're a very important person to me."
-
My heart eroded at the sight. Suddenly, I felt everything black out. The blood inside my body boiled more than 10 times it did back in my fight.
Unable to last the pain much longer, Shizuo spanked me and shouted, "Wake up, (F/n)!"
My eyes returned to normal as my grip on Shizuo has become less painful. I looked at the person I trapped beneath. Realizing what I did to him, I began to cry. My voice is shaking as I said, "Shizuo-san... I'm very sorry..."
-
As I turned on the light, I saw Shizuo sitting in the sofa. He was staring at me with his tired eyes.
"Y-Yo!" I awkwardly replied to that stare. It's making me nervous.
He sat straight on the sofa and asked me, "Did your memories finally return?"
My mouth was open. I turned my head to the side and looked downward, holding my arm comfortably with my other hand. "Yes..." I replied with a soft voice.
I remembered about the letters. "It's my farewell letter. I wanted to thank you for everything," I said as I gave him the letter, turned my back from him and painfully said, "Good bye..."
"What are you doing, Shizuo...? Let me go," I said without turning my head to face him. "...Doing this... to me, it's not like you."
"Don't fuck with me!" he suddenly exclaimed at me without showing me his face. "Ever since you left us last year, not a single day passed that I didn't think about you. 'Where could you be?' 'What could you be doing?' 'What happened to you?' 'Are you still doing well?' There's never been a girl who got involved this much in my life. Only you!"
"Shizuo... I love you." I blurted.
"What...did you say?"
I exclaimed to him, "I love you, dammit!"
Surprised, he wasted no time as he pulled my face and pressed his lips on mine.
-
I could feel that kiss as if it's happening right now. The butterflies I never felt that good when I kissed Izaya-senpai, felt so magical and explosive while I watch myself get kissed by Shizuo. I want some more; I want it so badly!
I begin to realize how I was wrong about the person I love all the time. Has it been Shizuo-senpai all this time? Have I loved him really that much! Why am I infatuated with Izaya-senpai? Shizuo-senpai must be right; I'm being tricked... and the only way out of it is to realize who I truly love and wake up from this madness! Now, I understand.
I ran through my memories as fast as I can, panting hard, wanting to collapse from running endlessly, yet refusing to give in. It's always been in front of my eyes and I never noticed! At the end of it, Shizuo-senpai stood, his back facing me and his hand stretched out to me. I desperately tried to grab it, but the more memories I see, the more I have to run to touch his hand.
I can feel that my body is getting weaker. I stumbled a couple of times, but I still stood up and ran because even though I can see Shizuo-senpai, he's still far and I still have to reach him. The more I watched him closely, the more I notice that the one I'm chasing after is Shizuo. He's not my senpai anymore. I looked at my reflection and saw myself as an adult woman, not a high school sophomore. The longer I look at him and my reflection, the more I see that we are both beaten up, the more I need to get back to reality!
As I reached the end of my memories, Shizuo turned his body and opened his arms to hug me while he smiles painfully. With all the remaining strength I had, I jumped into him with my arms open wide and wrapped them around his neck and body as I snuggled, crying to his chest. I felt so bad that I succumbed to such a trick. But I know that there are reasons why and I understand why.
As I closed my eyes, I felt Shizuo's grip on me get tighter and a bit painful. His grip was crushing me. I winced, "It hurts!", and opened my eyes to see all of the lighting die down in the laboratory. Then, my body collapsed. I feel so weak from all the electrocution and I feel different as if I lost my strength completely.
Shizuo realized that I returned and attempted to catch me from my fall, but he dropped to his knees as well. "(F/n), is that you? Are you back?" he asked as he fought back his tears.
I weakly wrapped my arms around him and pressed my forehead to his forehead. "Yes, I'm back." I chuckled tiredly. "I love you, too. I love you so much."
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A/n: This chapter and the next one are supposed to be one chapter, but it's so long and it's almost 6,000 words so I thought I should divide it into halves. It'll be exhausting to read it in one go. That's why this one's filled with flash backs :-D Don't worry, the next and last chapter for this arc is coming in 10-12 hours or tomorrow. Please catch it up XD