Chapter 13 – Drip, Drip, like water droplets on a rock
"Olena, are you free this Friday at 2pm?" Axel asked as he entered her office.
"We're almost done with the video, Jasper says we can do a final viewing this Friday, then if there are no major edits, they can give the final material the next Monday."
Axel had been coordinating directly with Patrick's team for the editing of their video project then updates Olena on major issues.
Olena herself had not been joining the meetings as her schedule was full with the other stages of their project. At least that's what she told her team. They knew what to do anyway, especially Axel who has been working with her for five years now, and didn't really need her direct involvement for everything.
It has been almost two months since the shoot... and since she last saw Patrick. She felt her heart skip a beat. Again.
She had tried to deny it, but the most difficult person to lie to was yourself, she knew that now. Patrick drew her in, and she didn't even know how or when it started, but it was her reality now.
Of course she wasn't entertaining the idea. It was just a small crush, it will die down eventually, especially since her interactions with the guy has stopped.
She noticed Axel looking at her weirdly and realized she had not answered his question yet.
“Yes, Friday afternoon is open. Do we go to their office?”
“Yup, so their editor can immediately make adjustments, if any.”
With a wave, Axel walked out of her office and left Olena to her thoughts.
Friday. In three days, she was going to see him again. Was she ready for it?
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As if the universe knew she needed to be busy to keep herself from thinking about Patrick, Olena was bombarded with work for the rest of the week.
By Thursday night, she was feeling burnt out and dead tired, and having to face heavy traffic while driving home made everything worse.
When she got home around 10pm, she was about ready to explode. Thankfully, Levi was already asleep when she got in, she didn't think she could handle his boundless energy right now.
She went straight to their bedroom and found Robert already relaxing on the bed, reading a book with the night light on. Olena felt irritation bubbling inside her at the sight, hating on Robert for having had time to rest while she was at the end of her rope.
But she knew it was unreasonable so she pushed the feeling back down.
Robert sat up on the bed as she entered, putting down the book that he was reading.
“Hi honey, had a full day?” he asked, smiling.
Olena just nodded, not in the mood for a chat.
“By the way, my mom is asking us over this weekend. They miss playing with Levi.”
“Can I just stay at home? You go with Levi. I need some me time, it's been a hectic week – a hectic month, actually.”
Robert frowned at her answer.
“But honey, you have been avoiding going with us since the last reunion. And that was months ago! They're going to start thinking you hate them or something.”
“Just tell them it's been busy at work. Besides, it's not like I'm the one they wanted to see, it's really just Levi. I'll only get more stressed if I go, you know that.”
“So you will just avoid them forever? That is really unreasonable, Olena.”
“Who said anything about avoiding them forever? It's just during this period, okay? I'm tired and I'm about to explode, and you don't get it because you get to go home early and spend a few hours every day to unwind.”
Olena knew she was starting to raise her voice, but she didn't care anymore. She was tired and she needed a break, damn it.
Robert got off the bed and stomped his way to the door.
“Oh, so it's my fault that I prioritize my work-life balance and don't let work get the better of me? Go have your me time then, the room's all yours!”
He left the room angrily, and Olena started to feel guilty like she always did whenever they had arguments.
Robert was normally a calm person and did not get angry very often. The few times he did lose his temper, it was almost always her fault, Like today.
She knew she shouldn't take out her frustrations on her husband, but the discontent she had been feeling needed an outlet.
And she kept comparing Robert to Patrick.
Patrick was dynamic and colorful and complex while Robert was simple and predictable.
Patrick understood her job because they were in the same industry, while Robert was an engineer and was in a totally different world professionally.
Olena stopped herself. This was not right, she should not be entertaining these kinds of thoughts. It was unfair to everyone, especially Robert.
Patrick just seems shiny because he is new. That's why he seems so interesting. It's that simple. Stop comparing them, Olena!
She hurriedly changed out of her work clothes and slipped into more comfortable sleepwear then followed Robert out. She needed to own up to her mistake and apologize to her husband.
She found Robert in their living room, playing classical music. He only did this when he needed to calm down, so she knew he was really upset.
Olena went to him and hugged his neck from behind the sofa.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered in his ear.
Robert looked up and reached out a hand to pull her over to his side. Olena snuggled close and sighed.
“I'm just really tired these days, you know how big this project is. Please understand that this is not about you – and I don't hate your family – I just don't have any emotional energy left to deal with their expectations of me right now.”
Robert kissed the top of hear head and nodded.
“Okay, I understand. I just wish you would have gotten used to it by now. They really mean well, they just have a different way of expressing things.”
“I know, but I have been trying to understand them for five years. Isn't it about time they try to understand me, too?” Olena couldn't keep the frustration out of her voice.
“They're old, honey. It's difficult for them to change their ways. They grew up in a different time, when families were supposed to be big. Having a single child seems unimaginable to them, quite sad actually.”
“And that's why I don't want to go, you see? I'm tired of dodging their questions. I'm tired of explaining that I'm happy with just having Levi. I'm just tired of everything!”
She felt Robert freeze beside her at her words.
“Everything?” He asked quietly.
Olena wanted to curl up in a corner and just cry her heart out. Nothing was going her way.