A/N: Things are getting more exciting now that I reached this part of the story! Soon there will be a lot of angst and drama, so prepare for that! Also, let me know if you're still reading and enjoying this story! My reads aren't growing as much so I'm a bit worried.
* * *
Before we all knew what was happening, the holidays were over. I remembered how I loved to say these words back when I was still a student at Hogwarts. Now not so much. This year it meant leaving Sirius behind and trying to stay under the radar of the Ministry. And I still had to be as best of a professor as I could, for my students depended on it and a good education was what would hopefully protect them from the propaganda of the enemy.
The night before we were to leave, Sirius seemed to be back in old shape. We had a party after dinner, celebrating that Hermione and Ron had been announced Gryffindor prefects. I could tell Harry was a bit sad from the look on his face, but not so much when Sirius told him that he and his father hadn't been prefects either.
"Ally and Remus were the good kids," Sirius said.
"Well, I was in Ravenclaw anyway, so I wasn't at risk of being easily linked to your mischief," I replied grinning at Harry.
"I remember you taking part in quite a lot of said mischief and thoroughly enjoying it," Sirius mumbled in my ear so no one else could hear and I could barely help my blushing.
The party was a welcome distraction, Moody showed around an old pic of the Order and we all chattered about, but it all was ended abruptly when we heard noise from upstairs. Molly had been trying to get rid of the Boggart in the drawing room and Harry had found her sobbing on the floor as the creature showed her all of her family members dying. We defeated the Boggart but still had a hard time calming down Molly. I was crying a little too but hiding it, not wanting to worsen her condition. But her fears were very palpable for me. Losing loved ones was, even though she called herself silly for her reaction, the single worst thing to happen to anyone. If the Boggart had attacked me, the situation wouldn't have been any different.
Sirius and Remus reassured her, I wanted to, but I didn't trust my voice. When Sirius seemed to notice, he wrapped an arm around me and soothingly ran his hand over my shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "It's okay," he mumbled.
I wasn't sure if that was true.
"We should probably all go to bed," said Remus when everything was calm again a few minutes later. "Important day tomorrow."
Molly, who was more herself now, agreed. "Yes, you all need your sleep, you can't miss the train in the morning."
She didn't have to say that twice – I really wanted to have a moment to recollect myself and was glad when Sirius closed the door to our room behind us. I sank into the mattress and closed my eyes for a bit, but I wanted to cry and I couldn't help a few tears that escaped.
Sirius sat down beside me. "Are you okay?"
"Yea," I vaguely mumbled.
"Nah, you're not. What did you tell me about not saying what's bothering me?"
I sat up and let my head fall to his shoulder, sighing. "You're right. It's just... today was so emotional for me. First there's this party that felt more like a big goodbye for me... and then there's Moody showing around that picture of the first Order making me all nostalgic and sad... and then Molly who's fears just exactly mirror my own. It's just a bit much."
Sirius wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close to him, letting us both fall back into the soft pillows. He held me tight and I cried a bit more, just because I couldn't deal with all the pain. His fingertips were trailing my arm and I shuddered a little. "I saw the picture, too, and I get why it makes you sad because it makes me sad as well."
"Just... all these familiar faces. Not just Lily and James, but Marlene, the Longbottoms..." I swallowed hard. "It feels as though we're the only ones left, and I miss them all so terribly."
Sirius was breathing harder, I knew he was hurting, too. "So do I."
"I don't know how many more people I can lose... What if I lose you again?"
"You won't lose me, Ally," Sirius said. "I can promise you that. And I will do anything in my power, so I don't lose you."
I chuckled bitterly. "Yes, I know you will, but we don't know that. We can never be sure. I could be dead by tomorrow."
"Don't say that," Sirius scolded me. "Or I won't let you go."
I looked up at him with a sad smile. "I will try to send you letters. Maybe we can talk over the floo network once in a while. I have my own fireplace in the office."
"That's not the same as this..." He pressed a tender kiss to my lips. "... but I'll take it."
We looked in each other's eyes for a long moment, both a small smile on our lips, before I decided to kiss him again. It was the best way to forget about the sadness and our nearing farewell, which was what I really wanted right now. Sirius's hands found my waist to bring me even closer and even though we knew each other for so long, it still gave me butterflies whenever he did. I buried my hands in his dark curls, deepening the kiss.
* * *
We woke up far early than was due. First, we stayed in bed for a while, snuggling like we did in the old days and haven't since. Maybe it was because we both knew that we'd have to be without each other's touch for a few months to come. It was crazy how much I had got used to be being around Sirius all the time within the last few weeks. Before, we hadn't seen each other for months, too, but now the goodbyes seemed to be a lot harder. Maybe it was because the circumstances were getting worse and worse.
"I will accompany you and Harry to the train," Sirius stated when we got up. "I know Dumbledore forbade it, but I don't care."
I laughed. "I haven't for one second expected you not to come."
Sirius furrowed his brow at me. "I guess you do know me better than anyone else."
"You can bet your life on that, darling." I put on my clothes for the day, something rather cozy for the train ride and colder temperatures up north. "But I think we should say our goodbyes earlier. As soon as I'm there, some of the students might want to talk to me about their exam results and so on, it might be a bit suspicious when I hang out with a huge dog. Plus, you should take your time with Harry, he might be glad to have some fatherly advice before leaving."
As he buttoned up his shirt, Sirius smiled to himself.
"I suppose you won't set him up to mischief, my love."
"I never dared."
Shaking my head, I packed a few last things in my trunk and looked for Nyx, finding her sleeping on the armchair in front of the fireplace. "Say goodbye to your favorite place, baby. You won't see it again so soon."
"You're not talking to me, are you?" Sirius said.
I rolled my eyes at him. "No, you're not my only baby – believe it or not."
Once everything was settled, breakfast over and the kids hurrying downstairs after Molly's distressed yelling (that woke the portraits again), we were ready to leave. Sirius had convinced Molly to let him accompany us. She said it was on him and me if something went wrong, but I knew it wouldn't, it would only do him very good to be outside for once.
Before we left, Sirius and I had already made our goodbyes – well, the second goodbyes after last night's more thorough farewell ceremony. I wish he would have never stopped kissing me and telling me how much he loved me, but I knew I would be able to hear and feel it again soon.
Once he had transformed into a dog, it was a bit easier for me to let him be.
We met Tonks outside on our way to King's Cross. To our luck, Mad-Eye was taking care of our luggage, so we didn't have to carry everything with us. Nyx was sitting on my shoulder, though, she didn't need a carrier.
It took us about twenty minutes to reach the station, Moody with the luggage came soon after and then Remus with the last few of the kids. Apparently, everything was safe so there was no trouble. I said my goodbyes earlier than the others. Usually, teachers didn't arrive by the express, Dumbledore had made and exception for me as he had with Remus back then, and we all thought it wise to have me on the train should anything happen. First, I said goodbye to the Weasleys and Moody, then I gave Remus a long hug. "Be careful," he mumbled in my ear and I gave him a kiss to cheek in return. Then, lastly, I gave Sirius, or rather Snuffles, a thorough scratch and kissed his head. He licked my cheek, wagging his tail excitedly, and I scrunched up my nose. It was still dog drool, after all.
With a last big smile to all of them, I made my way over. A few of the students were greeting me and asked questions. I told them we'd talk later and that they should find their compartments since the train would leave soon.
Then, when I was alone in my own compartment, I let out a few tears. But they weren't many – I knew I had to be strong. I had all the support from my loved ones. We would all make it. I had to believe in it.