Maya
I woke up to the alarm of my Samsung phone and wanted to throw it across the room because it was getting on my nerves but not the phone though. I couldn't
turn it off because I left it on my study table that is across the other end of room.
Snuggling into my pillow, wanted to pray since it was the time but yet I was unable to get up. I felt my eyes close and inner voice tells me "so you want miss
your fajar (Morning Prayer), He will be sad if you do. You want to burn in hell...Remember the hell fire is way hotter than this winter cold. You can get up and pray than go back to sleep again.... Get up".
My eyes were closed but my brain was wide awake yet it couldn't get my body into action. Then I heard probably Satan voice "its cool you know... Its only one fajar prayer and that isn't going to take you to hell. He will not punish you for that, He is merciful.... So don't pray and lets sleep". That's when my body got into action; I have to pray because I am not letting Satan to win.
As I was making breakfast for both of us, I rummaged through our conversation from last night. I came out of his room at two in the morning, if I didn't have to
pray I would have talked to him all night long... this made me realize what the word friend means. Ever since I had my brothers, they were the closet bff I had ever had. I did have friends but that just in school. Not the type where you talk on phone or hangout at each other house. When my brothers passed away I didn't have the luxury to make friends since I was always at work except for my boss.
Then when I was posted back seat I was all alone doing my work passionately.
He told me that I was so naïve that I didn't recognize him from the debate competition. I told him that I had the feeling that I had seen him somewhere but I
couldn't register. He also told me about him not having many close friends and had few girl friends in high school but neither were the types that were fully committing to relationships. Since he was busy all the time at school or at work all the girls lost
interest in him.
He decided to find a girl that would complete him, who is into him only. Who only cares about him! He said he would know when his heart dings and ding faster. So I see he is still virgin unlike most guys at his age. He asked about me and so I told
him that our religion so does our parents don't allow such relationships everything happens after marriage. So I hadn't been in relationship because of this plus I didn't find the need to tag a man with me. I am better off without one. But yeah, I do have guys' friends though like Jack and many more from high school with five minute crush. He joked about my five minute crush and asks what it was. Well, basically the five minute crush was where I check out the guy and talk to him to get to know him while doing an assessment. Then something about him would make my five minute crush into nothing. I just hope he wouldn't ask about himself because I had no answer to that question when he didn't, a relief swept through me. Then finally we came to the saddest part I guess for both of us. When he told me, he is planning to go home tomorrow since he is much better and doesn't want to interrupt my life.
Yeah, geez thank you for making my life a mess that I don't know when it will find its correct way. Until then I have to try to clear my head of these days. That blackness was shrouding me like a second skin.
Just like that he came, he has to leave and don't know when he will come back again,maybe never. I totally sound like I had fallen for him. To think about missing him.
A person whom I just knew for two weeks yet his presence had inebriated me that I can't think straight. I just couldn't manage to take his sudden goodbye but then somehow I spoke.
"Well, I have to go. It's very late. Good night Enzo". Without waiting for his reply.
I walked out with wobbly feet and shut the door behind me so he wouldn't see my tears.
I was deep in thought when Enzo crept behind me without making any sound.
"What's this smell, its great?" he startles me with his energetic voice that had woken me from my thoughts about him.
"Didn't mean to scare you, sorry" he said while opening the fridge for a milk.
"No, you hadn't" I replied while he was heating up the milk in microwave and our eyes locked like a mice in front of snake.
I moved my gaze from him and started cleaning the shelf near the stove that was covered with flour and potatoes paste. I turn the roti around on pan and sprinkle oil as it made the chiss sound. I noticed him behind me and yet this was having an effect on me. I put the roti in plate and turned around to give it to him.
"Potato stuff parathas for today's break fast, along with yogurt."
Securing the plate in his hands as my fingers breezed his. A shiver went through my veins.
"Oh, its smells great" he cooed like a baby "I am so hungry" placing the plate on dining table. We work in rhythm as I give he took and place on table until everything was on table.
A glass of water, our separate plates, and a cup of tea, fork, spoon and knife just incase but I use my hand which is easy for me since I was train this way.
We are facing each other and it's hard to eat as I kept getting caught in his black net like stare. I made a silent prayer and began to use my hand to make a bite.
To notice his hesitancy I stopped.
"You can use fork and knife" I said "if you don't like yogurt then you can have it with tea" I told him satisfyingly and he just nodded.
I dipped my bite in yogurt and devour the creamy, spicy flavors. When he couldn't enjoy with fork he said he wanted to learn how to eat with hands. I showed him
how it's done. During that short period of time he had smiled so much that I thought how will I eat my every breakfast now. He got a beautiful smile and flashes
those white straight teeth whenever he smiles.
When we were finished and sipping our tea I asked "so what's your plan for Christmas" (which is this Saturday and today is Wednesday so in two more days).
He put his cup down and said "well, nothing much! But I am expecting my neighbor for Christmas basically not my friend but my dad's friend. The nurse told me she will come. So I am going to meet her."
I wiped my oily hands and asserted "great...I thought if you were going to be alone maybe we could hangout together."
I finished in one breath. As he was staring he said "thank you but I have a company who I am going to get rid of soon that day plus I want to spend the Christmas alone because then it will become a habit which I know at some point won't be possible."
I stare at him and didn't blink because if I am not mistaken he clearly stated that he doesn't want to hang out with me. Which can mean so many things in so many different ways? I took the cup to my lips and sipped the last bit of tea to clear the lump that all of the sudden has landed.
"But Black" taking my hand to my chest "I am your little sister from another mother. How could you?"
That hook him off with a grin.
"Its okey. I know you are attracted to me but anyway I just wanted to let you know that if you didn't wanted to be alone you can lean on me. I am always there for you like a little sister. Hey don' worry. I also happened to have a company that day so."
I could totally see the rejecting sadness on his face but my coolness had vanished it slowly. I got up and washed my plates and placed in strainer.
I turned around to face him.
"When do you have to go because I have to do some shopping for a gift. Dude I really don't know what to get for him."
I finished with difficulty because right now he was focusing on me so intensely.
"You literally have no idea" he said.
Putting his finger on his lips and gently rubbing it with an idea until finally he spoke to fly his hands in the air.
"You can get him pencil and writing books because no matter what, he has to use it. If not he can throw. Pens, pencil and books are something he will need if he is a student."
"Okey" I said agreeing with him.
It did made sense because I really don't know him ps I wasn't even friend with him. To see him I have to visit to know what kind
of breed is he?
"We can go now" he said "First, I want to stop by my dorm to get my things since I will bechanging my room for that I need your help" he finished.
Looking for yes in my eyes until I spoke.
"Yeah...cool" I said.
I went to my room and get both of us jackets and thankfully they weren't so girly.
On the way I turned off the lights and other appliances as I don't want to go over the limit. I stand in front of him and spoke without looking at his face.
"I am not sure if they will fit you."
Examining his body I change my statement. His body was so girly. So lean and straight not bulky or anything.
"No. This will fit you perfectly."
Handing him a black scarf that will surely smell like jasmine flowers. He still has trouble with his hands as he was struggling with jacket. I moved around facing his back while holding the jacket out and with my help he slides into the jacket. He turns around so I could button up the jacket. That silence between us stretch like a century between us until I spoke
"Ready."
"Ready" he said quietly.
After locking the apartment door, we took the elevator to ground floor and hail a cab to his dorm. During that one hour drive we didn't talk.
I took out my phone and check my messages. Of course there were none but still to avoid him this very moment it was the best way to go through my previous messages. I hadn't deleted my messages from Jun and War. I had read them so many times that I knew every single one of them by heart. Out of all the messages War had sent me I like this one the best
"Yah!!! You are the star that came into my life like a big sister. A star that made me shines like her. You are the kind of star that made a no one like me into a star that shine in the whole world. Your shine is greater compare
to mine because even though the whole world can't see your shine but I can. The heart that glows brighter than sun. You are my special star and thank you for being my sister even though I may not deserve it. I just hope
that the way you made me shine in the dark, to somebody else you do the same because you shine the best even if it is good bright day. Just one more thing, don't let the shine disappear just because somebody wants it. Your
smile, your laugh makes you glow. That's your thing and I hope you shine me even more. Thank you W"
That big speech which he wrote was at the time when he debuted and scored his first goal. He poured all of his heart into this message which I will treasure for life. I know, as boys gets older it's hard for them to express themselves in lovey dovey ways. It seems like they forget them after they hit their puberty. I had tears formed in my eyes thankfully Black couldn't see me. I wiped it off when the cab stopped.
Black told the cabbie to park here as he gets his stuff from dorm. I got out of it and followed him up the three steps building, now lifting us up to level three to his room.
His room was not locked surprisingly. We got in and I took a notice of a clean room, so unexpected this to be boy's room. The tables at the corners were neat,clean and tidy. A jacket on Blacks bed meant it hasn't been touch. He order me to
peel off the bedcovers while he packed his notebooks, books that belonged to him but there weren't many but they were heavy so we decided to divided it into four boxes that will be easier for me to carry across the room toward the cab.
After fifteen minutes of non-stop packing we were done and now I was heading to the mall while he was going home. He thanked me to which I said its okey. He programmed his number into my phone and I send a "hi" to him so that we both have it. I noticed while helping him pack he didn't have any warm clothes against this harsh coldness so I made a mental note to buy him something warm for this Christmas.
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