'you're too good to be all mine, now i'm looking in your eyes, i must be seeing blind.'
(seeing blind - niall horan)
-
A.
Graduation day.
The day you dream about from the moment you step foot in high school - middle school, even. It becomes some big fantasy - the only thing getting you through the painful classes and bitter encounters being that one date you could look forward to at the end of it all - the date you would be handed a diploma, and you would leave the stress and trauma of high school behind. But you'd also be leaving behind the memories - the good ones, at that.
I'd be leaving behind the hurt, the heartbreak - the broken friendships and upset. I'd be leaving behind the past, and that was something I was excited for.
But I couldn't associate high school with everything bad, and only the bad. High school had also brought so much good. That wretched place happened to have given me my best friends, and the man I love so much.
"Hey, pretty girl," Harry murmured against the shell of my ear, his arms winding around my waist from behind me as I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, "your parents are waiting downstairs."
"Let them wait," I sighed, smoothing my hands over the graduation gown and the dress underneath, "why is there a part of me that doesn't want to go?"
"Because," Harry sat down on the chair beside us, opening his arms for me to sit on his lap, "it finalises everything, doesn't it?"
"Mm," I hummed into the crook of his neck, his hands resting gently on my waist.
"I see it as leaving the toxins behind," he assured me, "we won't have to see anybody who hurt us again - ever. But nothing will change with you and I, yeah? We'll have Tasha, and Luke, and Liam.. and we'll have each other. Always," he told me, rubbing circles on my waist with his thumb and nudging my jawline with his nose to press a kiss to my skin.
I let my eyes meet his for a moment, a grin tugging at my lips as I rose my pinkie for him to take. He wiggled his eyebrows at me and sent me a grin in response, linking our pinkies together.
"My girl," he chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I looped my arms around his neck, then peppering his face with kisses, enjoying the soft laughs leaving his smiling mouth.
"I love you so much," I nuzzled into his neck, pressing more kisses to his skin as he laughed, the sound filling the room in such a beautiful way.
"I love you more," he grinned, pinching my hip, "and don't argue with me, because-"
"You two!" my dad's voice echoed from downstairs, "we're going to be late, for goodness' sake!"
I rolled my eyes, standing up from Harry's lap and glancing in the mirror a final time, "Is this dress okay?"
"It's fucking red," Harry pointed out, reminding me it was his favourite colour on me, "you think I'm gonna say no? You look sexy."
I laughed, smoothing my hands over the silky fabric, wine red in colour and reaching an inch or so above my knee, the black graduation gown on top.
Harry's gown matched mine, of course, but he wore a white button down shirt and black skinny jeans - the shirt, something I'd forced him into when he'd desperately insisted on an old t-shirt, but we'd found a compromise in his skinny jeans.
"Let's do this then," I sent him another smile, pecking his lips as he rested his hand on the small of my back and we made our way downstairs.
"We're gonna be late, you two, come on," my dad pressed, heading for the door beside my mother as Harry's phone began to rang.
"Hello?" he lifted his hand from my back and clutched the phone in his large palm with an irritated look on his face, "yes, Liam, we're leaving now."
We made our way to the car, the largest one, Harry and I getting into the very back, my parents in front of us and Anders in the driver's seat.
"Liam, I told you we're coming - no, I can't pick you up a bloody sandwich!" Harry huffed into the receiver, opening his hand for me to take and hold as Anders started the engine. "Will you shut up? Where's my mum? What? Why is she already crying? Bloody hell.." he trailed off, and I laughed quietly, squeezing his hand as he continued to curse at Liam before hanging up. "Sorry," he directed a sheepish apology at my parents.
"Ah, no worries - who's Liam, anyway?" my dad frowned, as Harry glanced down to respond to another text, distracted.
"He's Harry's best friend," I answered as Harry zoned out, focusing on the text he'd received.
"Oh, I see - is he graduating too?" my dad asked, and Harry's head snapped up from his phone.
"No, Liam dropped out a year or two ago," Harry answered, and I watched my mother scoff in disgust, luckily out of Harry's sight.
We arrived with only fifteen minutes to spare, and it wasn't long before Gemma came rushing over to us, James following closely behind.
"Ana!" she grinned, engulfing me in a tight hug, before doing the same with Harry, "I know it's only been a few days, but - how are you two?"
I glanced at Harry, "We're good," I smiled, as Gemma shot Harry a look and he sent her a nod, sending Gemma's eyes flickering to my parents.
"You must be Ana's parents," she sent my parents a bright smile, though you could easily see skepticism she directed towards them - in all fairness, she obviously knew what had happened by now.
"I'm Dave," my dad smiled, stepping forward and shaking her hand kindly.
"M'Gemma - Harry's older sister," she told him, turning her attention to my mother.
"Always has to emphasise the 'older'," Harry pointed out under his breath, and I nudged him.
"And, um.." Gemma trailed off, waiting for my mother to cut in.
"Julie," my mother stuck her hand out, much to my surprise - more surprised at the fact she was offering her name - my dad and Harry looking just as shocked as I did.
"Harry, my darling!"
Harry groaned, burying his face into my shoulder, "Oh, God."
Celia, along with Liam came rushing towards us, Ben and Livi trailing behind as always as she engulfed Harry in a tight hug, him stiffening up as always.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're here, Haz," she released him and he didn't bother to correct her as he nodded his head, sending her an awkward smile.
"Ana," Liam hugged me, before patting Harry's back, "glad you're 'ere, mate."
"Mm, don't go soft on me," Harry teased with a hum, as Liam scoffed.
"Um, I'm gay," Liam pointed out, "except for Ana."
"Watch it."
"Uh," my dad cut in awkwardly, "we're gonna go find our seats." And with that my parents headed over to the crowded area. I rolled my eyes. Baby steps, I guess.
"Harry," Celia said suddenly, glancing over at me, "can I talk to you for a second?"
"Mhm," he nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of my head before letting Celia lead him away.
"Harry is so annoying," Liam huffed once he was out of earshot.
"Why?" I mused.
"I told the cunt to bring me a sandwich, and did he? No. Fucking pillock," Liam exclaimed, and I laughed, sending Gemma and James a small wave as they announced they were heading to their own seats.
"Pillock," a small voice muttered from beside Liam, and I couldn't help but laugh, crouching to Livi's level.
"Didn't your daddy tell you to stop saying naughty words, Liv?" I grinned, directing my attention to a pink bow looped into her fair hair, "I like this, it's pretty."
"Thank you," she smiled sheepishly.
"I'm glad you managed to convince Hazza to come back, Ana," Liam said as I straightened up to my full height, "not quite sure how you did, but - I'm glad you did."
"Me too, Li," I said honestly, nodding my head as he shot me a knowing look.
"How did you get him to come home anyways?" he raised his eyebrow, and I thought back to how Harry and I had talked things out - and then my cheeks flushed pink at the aftermath - thankfully interrupted by the return of Harry and Celia.
"Let's get sat down, then," Celia smiled, nodding to Ben, Livi and Liam, "good luck, Ana and Harry."
And then we went our separate ways, and it all began to feel so real. We were heading, hand-in-hand, over to graduate. To graduate. And nothing made me happier than to know we were doing it together.
"You're a fucking angel, you are," Harry mumbled into my ear, winding an arm around my waist.
I frowned, "Why?"
"I know you lied for my mum," he murmured, and I dragged my lip into my mouth, "and even after everything that happened, you didn't dob her in it."
"I-"
"Don't deny it, baby. She told me herself," he stopped in his tracks, cupping my face in his hands, "I love you. Endlessly."
I smiled softly, "I love you."
"Ana!" Tasha came hurrying over to me and engulfing me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe, "I missed you!"
"I missed you too," I giggled, squeezing her tightly, "Luke!" I exclaimed, hugging him, too.
"Hey, Ana," he smiled, sending a nod in Harry's direction as him and Tasha playfully shoved each other back and forth behind me.
"Okay," Tasha clapped excitedly, sending another playful glare at Harry as he pinched my hip and nudged his nose against my cheek, "who is fucking ready to graduate? I know I am!"
"I definitely am, too," I noted everybody taking their seats, and nodded to my friends, "let's do this, then."
I couldn't help but notice Sadie and Jake pointing angrily at each other as they spoke in hushed voices amongst the rest of the indistinct chatter by the area of chairs, and Louis and Tiff walking a considerable distance from one an another; maybe karma does eventually take its toll on everybody.
We took our seats, Harry to my right and Tasha to my left, Luke beside her; the two of them having a conversation I wasn't paying attention to.
"I could really do with a smoke right now," Harry murmured so that only I could hear, "a drink would be nice, too.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What?" he sighed, "I'm trying.. again."
"I know, baby," I assured him as he rested his hand on my thigh.
"Mm," he hummed, playing with the hem of my dress, "this red is so distracting."
"Don't you dare," I threatened as he sent me a smirk and the crowd fell silent, signalling the start of the ceremony.
It dragged on, of course, the typical speeches given by the very teachers who gave you hell since you started at school - the typical speeches given by the only students who could really be bothered to write them, those I couldn't help but envy in the slightest, since I hadn't achieved near to what they had.
But I was happy. That was what was important to me - even if I hadn't been involved in so many clubs, sports, or whatever else I hadn't found the time to partake in, and even if I'd lost a large group of 'friends' - I'd made the three best friends I'd ever had, and found the man I knew I wanted to spend my entire life with.
The names were already being called, and I would be called just after Luke and just before Tasha.
"Luke Hemmings," Luke stood up, sending Tasha a bright smile as he headed towards the stage, shaking the principal's hand and taking his diploma.
And then it was my turn - my name was called, and I stood up - Harry mouthing an 'I love you' in my direction as I headed for the stage and up the steps onto it. And everything else began to melt away - all the troubles and mishaps of high school, and more specifically the past year. I was graduating, I'd done it.
And then came Tasha, and then Harry.
Harry. Somebody who had told me within a week of meeting him that he doubted he'd even make it to graduation. He had never known his own potential, never believed he could make it this far. He'd warned me the day I met him that he was nothing, and would never be anything more - yet here he was, his family a few rows back clapping wildly as he flashed me a beautiful smile, taking his diploma into his hand.
He then turned to look at me, eyes locking on mine as he simply mouthed, "We did it, baby."
-
oh my gOD i'm so sad we have ONE. MORE. CHAPTER. my heart is literally so broken you guys don't even understand :(
i love this book so much and i know i say it all the fucking time but i love it so much and i'm sO proud of this book fuck ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THEN THE EPILOGUE my heart hurts its 3am and i'm writing in sadness because im so committed to this damn book and i doNT WANT THIS SHIT TO END IT IS MY LITERAL EVERYTHING
i'll post the final chapter (hopefully) tomorrow/today since its morning already sksjk or the day after, and then i'm gonna read over the book and check for any errors or plot holes before posting the epilogue
i cannot believe i just wrote the world of harry and ana is really coming to a close and i just want to SOB right now omg i know i never shut up about it but fucking hell i dont wanna say goodbye to this story :(((
ok im sad now bye ily thank u for reading ugh IM FUCKING SAD im gonna go read my epilogue and cry again