ALBEIT A SUCCESS in some ways, the day behind the LAPD had come with some letdowns as well, mostly because the mystery package containing something dangerous and costly was still in the wind. However, as Izzy sat in the front seat of Mazikeen's car while the demon herself drove them towards Lux, the deputy decided to focus on the positive — at least they had caught the killer, and the streets of L.A had one less criminal going about their day. And after back-up had shown up, Maze's target had been questioned and the murderer had been handcuffed and taken away, they had all called it a day, and Izzy had turned many heads by getting into the same car as the infamously bold bounty hunter. For once, though, the looks didn't get to her.
It had been a tiring week, and after the trial, thinking about her dad and the whole adventure with Benjamin, Izzy was really taking the time to be grateful for what she had. And while she had already praised Diane for being an amazing mother, as she sat there, enveloped in the soft rock tunes and the cool blow of the conditioning in the car, Isadora was starting to realize that Maze was someone she also valued greatly. Of course, her friends, in general, meant the world to her, but the ride to Lux gave her the moment she needed to understand that what she and Mazikeen had, was way beyond that. Way beyond a crush, even, and as hard as it was to sometimes admit, there was no path around the fact that Izzy was falling in love — or maybe she already had, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to take the risk of playing it safe.
Sure, keeping her mouth shut would close out the option of rejection, but that would also take away the right to closure. She would never know — she would only live in doubt and wonder, in a sea of questions when she could revel in the answers. The pain would subside, the regret wouldn't. That kept her mind rather occupied, only pulled back to the present when Maze's fingers gently grazed her thigh, instantly snapping Izzy's head over to the woman.
"You okay?", she knitted her eyebrows together, still in her dashing flight attendant outfit, and in response, Izzy merely smiled and nodded. It wasn't even a lie — she was okay, just brilliant, actually. Maybe, tonight would be the right time to be open about her feelings, instead of letting the kisses and embraces speak for her. And maybe, that was what Maze was planning on doing too, opening up, which was a big step for the both of them and certainly a fair explanation to the flammable tension lingering between them.
As if Izzy needed any more confirmation that she wasn't just imagining the excited throb in her chest or the electricity sparkling between her and Maze, the latter proceeded to hold her hand for the rest of the ride — and as soon as they had parked by Lucifer's strangely quiet club, she was rushing to open the door for Izzy, a charmer as always. Yup, Izzy sighed adoringly when the heavenly woman offered her hand, a coy smile on her red lips and a twinkle behind her nearly black eyes, she was definitely falling.
And it wasn't just the unimaginably hypnotizing beauty, either. It was that Maze opened the club's door for her, held her hand, managed to crack jokes yet there was a rare sense of vulnerability in her that she didn't allow around most. She trusted Izzy, and she showed all of herself to her — the good and the bad, the wicked and the beautiful, and that was what Isadora appreciated the most. That it wasn't just making out for them, it was desiring one another's company and comfort, being able to get real, supporting and holding each other when it was needed.
Friends aside, Izzy couldn't remember the last time she had had that with someone.
"You want a drink? I know where Benji keeps the best booze", Maze quipped over her shoulder, taking the lead with the echo of her words and high heels in the eerily empty place, whereas Izzy lingered behind, eyes curiously wandering around the club. She had seen it like this only a few times, yet the sight of deserted couches and the lack of music never ceased to be something of unsettling. But right now, she liked the peace, a small smile on her lips as she approached the bar and leaned on her forearms while Maze flipped a bottle on the other side of the counter.
"Tempting, but no thanks. I think ever since I met you and Lucifer I've been drinking way more than I should, so, I'm trying to do something about that", the redhead laughed shortly, bottom lip sucked between her teeth as she rocked on her feet and looked around the dark club, adorned with string lights and the iconic LUX sign blinking brightly on one of the walls.
Shrugging, Maze poured herself a glass, taking advantage of her inability to actually get drunk. Or die of the consequences. "Suit yourself. I'm gonna need one", she chuckled nervously, and at the wary edge that rarely bled into her words, Izzy turned back to Mazikeen with a quirked eyebrow and worry creasing on her forehead.
"Guess it's my turn to ask — are you okay?", the deputy frowned, the expression only deepening when Maze gulped the whole drink down in one attempt, simply to fill the glass right to the brim once more. That answered her question, so without waiting for an answer, Izzy slowly slumped onto one of the bar stools to confirm that she was listening, ready to pour out all of the support and affection one could only hold within.
"Well, I said I wanted to show you something. And that's... still true, I just don't really know how to go about it. Usually, I don't have this... this weird feeling in my stomach, it's like...", Mazikeen tried to explain, gesturing at herself as she grimaced, and with a soft smile, Izzy nodded — she knew that specific feeling very well.
Izzy swept her tongue across her bottom lip before gently grabbing both of Maze's hands and holding them gingerly in her own, thumbs caressing the smooth skin reassuringly. "Yeah, it's a familiar feeling. Like you want to throw up, and even though you're not in actual pain, everything still kind of hurts? And you just kind of feel like curling into a blanket burrito and sleeping it all away", Izzy sighed, a wave of sympathy washing over her face when Maze nodded rapidly, confirming that Isadora had hit the bullseye with her description. "Unfortunately, in my experience, the only way to make it go away is facing whatever is making you feel that way. First day of school, accidentally breaking your mom's favorite mug, a secret you're holding back from a friend", she continued, eyes meeting Maze's at her final words. And for a second, Mazikeen seemed to fall into a state of increasing panic, so quickly, Izzy was adding, "I won't judge, though, whatever it is. You can tell me anything", her voice calming and careful.
Silence landed between them, and the unsure look in Maze's eyes was beginning to worry Izzy, but always the hopeful romantic, she reminded herself that if she was about to get a love confession, then it was understandable. Mazikeen was hardly the most open, touchy-feely person out there, and whatever she was on the verge of doing, had to be important and meaningful, so Izzy remained patient, the soft hold on Maze's hands never faltering. "Hey, who knows, maybe I can relate?", she attempted to calm her down, but darkly chuckling, Mazikeen pulled away and took a deep breath.
"Doubt it, but okay. Thanks. I, uh, I appreciate it", her words were ominous to the fullest, but Izzy tried to keep her breathing even. For her heartbeat, she couldn't do the same — maybe she appeared calm on the outside, but in reality, the empty club was starting to feel more and more crowded by the second, her insides going haywire and mind coursing at impossible speed through all the possibilities. "Okay, so, Linda told me what it's like to be awesome. Obviously, I am awesome, but she said I can't rely on others to validate me, y'know?", Maze started eventually, the endless seconds of quietness passing as she cautiously met Izzy's bewildered gaze.
With a nod, however, she confirmed that she was still following. "Yeah. That was why you told Dan that self-worth comes from within, right? It's a good lesson. And, yes, you are awesome", Isadora flashed a tender smile, her whole face lighting up with kindness and soft dimples appearing on her cheeks — a sight that encouraged Maze to go on.
"Yeah, so, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while. Or, well, I have told you, but I know that humans tend to not take it seriously, so, now that I've reached this... whole new level of confidence, I want to show you. Because you mean a lot to me. And I want to know all of you, so in return, I think you should know all of me too", the demon offered a cryptic explanation, and although she was puzzled, Izzy continued to nod. The nervous fiddle of her fingers gave away the building concern though, making it obvious that she wasn't really sure how to feel. While she loved hearing that Maze cared about her, she didn't know what to expect anymore, leaving her in a state of confusion and uncertainty.
"Okay. Yeah, anything", Izzy approved quietly, hoping that Mazikeen wouldn't back down now, and concluding from the straightening posture and breathless laugh, she was doing the very opposite and preparing for something.
After tossing the red cap on top of her loose curls away, Maze rubbed her clammy palms against her thighs, not used to this oddly human feeling whirring in her stomach. However, she knew what she wanted, so with a careful smile, she looked over to Izzy and made one last request. "Can you close your eyes?", Mazikeen blurted out, her voice regaining its strength as she stood strong and brave, and reminded herself that this was about her — alright, it was about Izzy too, but she needed to own it, channel her self-worth, believe in herself.
Izzy was unsure what she was signing up for, but that didn't stop her from slowly closing her eyes and leaning on the counter more, ears open and awake as she waited for a permission to open up again. The small whoosh that echoed in the club made her grip the edge of the bar, but she tried to remain calm and keep in mind that this was only Maze, and she trusted her and she loved her. All of her.
Then again, she was yet to see the truly bad.
"You can look now", Maze's voice startled her after what felt like eons, but in reality was barely seconds, yet Izzy wasn't quite sure if she had the courage to do as told. She didn't realize how her hands were shaking, but she did feel the anxious race of her heart all the way to her throat, and even without knowing what to expect, the very same feeling she had described for Mazikeen only moments ago was swallowing her entire soul and being. But, aware that she couldn't just stand there with closed eyes for the rest of the night, Izzy exhaled shakily and opened her eyes, repeating the words you can do this to herself silently.
At first, she could only see Maze, and a relieved smile was quick to creep to her lips. But when the blur in her eyes faded away and the bright illumination of the lights around them softened, her stare fixated on the left side of her face — mutilated, burned and tortured. The other side was still just as beautiful and flawless as Izzy was used to, all smooth skin and complete with the red lipstick, but the left part of her lips became chapped and revealed her teeth in a sad grimace. Her cheek was hollowed out, and the color nearly matched her dark hair, whereas the eye sunken in the charred flesh swam with the hues of a thousand galaxies, yet it was just as haunting and lifeless as the rest of her disfigured form.
A shaky gasp filled whatever room Izzy had left for words, and stumbling, she took a step back, legs weak and heart thudding so hard in her chest she feared it was going to jump out at any given moment. She had been intimidated by Maze before, but for the first time ever, she was truly scared, her stomach churning and her skin ablaze as she backed into one of the tables. The sharp pain in her back was nothing compared to the crack in her heart, though she couldn't quite read the latter — she wasn't sure if she felt betrayed or terrified or sorrowful. What she did know, was that she couldn't breathe and the burn in her eyes failed to turn into actual tears, which left her simply gasping and staring at Maze, speechless and paralyzed.
But when Mazikeen actually took a step towards her from behind the bar, Izzy jumped and the chair she subconsciously relied on toppled over, leaving the redhead stumbling back on the stairs leading to the dance floor. "Maze", she finally breathed out, confusion lining her voice until it turned into heartbreak, "Maze? Is—is that your face? Is this a prank? Are you—who did this to you? Why—how?", though she wasn't certain if the grief was for the clearly tortured woman, or for herself. She had been so blind, so naive, and she had let this person, or whatever she was, in her life. In her home. Around Diane.
Maze turned around, and when she finally met Izzy's horrified stare again, her face was back to normal, like nothing had ever happened, but the seemingly perfect facade no longer fooled Isadora. All she could see was the burned parts of her, the ruined and the dirty and she could not handle it. Which Mazikeen noticed. "Hey, Izzy, breathe. You're—you're actually taking it really well, but just... don't panic, okay?", the demon tried, but her words were merely a blur in Izzy's ears when it all came together.
Like a wave, the realization knocked her over, a tear finally rolling out of her eye as she leaned on the railing and trembled. "It's—you're—it's real, isn't it? You're a demon and— oh my God, Lucifer is... How is this possible? How can you—you can't, and he can't, he can't", the words tumbled out of her mouth as she shook her head and buried her face in her shaking hands. "Amenadiel, Charlotte... The blade Lucifer was talking about. Lucifer, the actual Devil", Izzy rambled, not making much sense but she was trying to cope, trying to fit it all in her throbbing head.
"Hey", Maze stepped closer again, but as soon as her fingertips grazed Izzy's wrist, the woman was flinching and stepping back, hands lifted in the air. "Calm down, we can talk about this. I'll tell you anything you want to know, okay? I promise, I'm not gonna hurt you, I would never. And Lucifer — he doesn't hurt people, he just punishes the evil. You're not evil, your friends are not evil, you're all safe, okay? Izzy—", the brunette continued with sadness visible on her face, but for once, Isadora was unable to feel sympathy or regret or love. For once, she was scared and unwilling to cooperate and keep the peace.
Instead, she stormed past Maze, trying to avoid contact at all costs. "No, no, I can't do this, I can't. I—I have to go", the deputy stuttered, not even turning to look at Mazikeen as she leaped up the stairs, her only desire to go home and make sure Diane was okay, and that whatever had been between her and Maze, her and Lucifer, would cease to exist.
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okay, i'm curious so i have to ask: how did you think izzy would react? because when you're writing a lucifer fic, usually at some point the oc finds out so there are so many opportunities, and i'd love to hear what you guys thought would happen (: honestly, i planned this from the very beginning, i have so many lucifer fics but none of them had this kind of reaction so this was fun to try!
also, i just knew i had to use this gif because she is actually saying "mercedes, god, your face" but it could totally pass as "is that your face" sjsjsjdks
as always, feedback would be much appreciated, thank you for reading! ❤️