Leo POV
This is going as horrible as I expected.
We're at the garden with a little gazebo with a table and two chairs where the Princess and Charles are sitting. I'm a few feet away from them, standing and guarding, but unfortunately, I'm still able to hear them perfectly.
I was hoping to finish this day with peace and quiet but instead, I hear Charles' irritating voice the whole time. He even smirks at me from time to time.
Right now, Charles is still talking and bragging about all his achievements, I don't even hear the princess talk that much, she's probably just as tortured as I am.
Charles just loves talking about himself.
I sighed. This is going to be a long day.
"You know my princess, when you marry me I'll treat you the princess that you really are. We're going to have so many beautiful children" Charles moves some of the princess' hair behind her ear then had the audacity to smirk at me.
I don't know why he looks like he's challenging me. I really am clueless.
Does he think that I'm attracted to the princess? Well, I am but I never really showed him any emotion other than boredom or indifference. I only showed emotion when I'm alone with the princess, so what is his deal?
Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. Maybe he's just showing how close he is to being the King and banishing me.
Oh please, I'll willingly banish myself if he becomes King.
The princess cringed at what Charles said, I wanted to smile at her reaction but stopped myself.
The princess stood up slowly "Thank you for the meal Charles but I think I should go and handle some of my duties" The princess gave him a forced smile but Charles didn't notice that it was forced and he grinned and looked proud of himself.
"It's my pleasure my princess" Then he walked closer to the princess and stood in front of her.
The princess looked confused then Charles smirked and suddenly kissed the princess on the lips.
I was shocked and It looks like the princess was too because both of us were too frozen to move, then I rushed towards them and pulled Charles away from the princess.
Charles turned to me while I was still holding his upper arm "I had the feeling you would do that" He smirked.
"Of course she would, you had no right to kiss me" The princess was fuming.
I never saw her this mad even when she was arguing with her father. Charles pulled his arm from my hand roughly.
The princess walked out, walking slightly faster than her normal speed. Yup, she's pissed.
I rushed to follow her but stayed a little bit farther back. I'm a little scared of her honestly.
When we arrived at the castle she slowed down and I walked beside her not saying anything.
"The audacity of that man. How could he? Just because he has a rich father doesn't give him the right to kiss me, what was he even thinking, I could throw him to the dungeon for what he did" The princess said angrily, she was even panting from anger.
That, I knew, because I was thinking the same thing when I kissed her. Dungeon. I was already thinking about what it's like to stay in a dungeon. I hope the food isn't that bad when I get locked up.
I didn't really know what to reply so I just stayed silent.
When we arrived at her room she left the door open for me to come in and follow her.
I was nervous, a lot can happen when I follow her inside, she could be so angry and throws all her anger at the only person there which will be me, or we could kiss again which is obviously a bad thing but I won't argue if we did, and there's the worst thing ... we could talk about what happened between us earlier.
I want to avoid that talk so much. I'm not good at handling these kinds of situations. I run away from them as much as possible.
After closing the door behind me, I just stood there awkwardly while the princess was pacing in the middle of the room.
"I should tell my father but he will automatically throw Charles to the dungeon which I'll be happy with but I don't want to ruin his life, It's not his fault he's an idiot, or maybe it is" The princess groaned then debated with herself while glaring at nothing in particular.
"What really pisses me off is that he knew that was my first kiss and he tried to steal it, he thinks that he has more power if he was my first and a better chance in marrying me" She vented "What a child" she mumbled.
While she was still ranting I was in shock, I was frozen. Holy shit, I was her first kiss.
I didn't even think of the possibility that maybe she never had her first kiss, she had a lot of handsome and charming suitors, I didn't think that she hated every single one of them that much to not even kiss a single one, now I understand why her father is nervous of her not marrying, she literally never liked anyone ever.
I didn't even notice when we were kissing because she was a natural.
She is a gorgeous twenty-one-year-old woman who never had her first kiss, even I had my fair share of kisses.
Maybe you think I should feel special for actually being her first and her having no problem in letting me in, or maybe even let my head grow a little bigger, but I was too shocked.
I took something from her that I didn't even know I took and it made me feel shitty.
It's like she just now realized what she said and she turned to me shocked. She didn't want me to know I was her first. Why?
"Leo" She slowly moved toward me.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.
She sighed "I didn't want you to know because I wanted you to just be you, and if you knew that you were going to be my first you'll just feel pressured and might even run away from me"
I was confused "Why me?" I asked.
She pulled me to sit beside her on the couch, I immediately stopped my brain from thinking that this is where we almost had sex earlier.
She sighed, I didn't think that our talk will move to such an unexpected turn.
She looked at me in the eyes "If you knew Leo, what would you have done" Is she really asking me this?
I stuttered "W-well" I sighed. "I would've made it special damn it," I said frowning.
I was getting a little angry, what would she think I would do?
She lifted my chin to look at her "Just because of your answer, I knew I picked the right person for my first kiss" She smiled.
I frowned and looked down at my boots. I was still confused. Doesn't she want her first to be someone she will marry? or maybe someone who she loved deeply? or maybe even her childhood crush? why me? It just won't leave my mind. I'm nothing special.
"Leo" She called for my attention. She looked vulnerable like she's showing me every inch of her soul. I never saw her like this, no one ever saw her like this. Like she's just an ordinary girl, not a princess.
She never looked vulnerable, ever. Of course, I understand why, because people like Charles take advantage of vulnerability and her being a princess is too much of an influence to be weak, a lot of people look up to her. There's so much pressure on her right now especially when her parents are thinking about stepping down from their throne and rushing her to marry.
"I'm sorry," She said lowly. She didn't need to apologize, kissing her is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I smiled at her slightly "You don't have to apologize, It should be me who's apologizing"
She shook her head "I used you" She looked down ashamed.
I was more confused now "How?" How could she possibly use me? I loved every moment of it. I wouldn't take it back for the world and she couldn't say anything for me to change my mind.
She sighed and moved closer to me, our thighs touching. She started to explain softly "I don't believe in love anymore, especially now that everyone's pressuring me into marrying someone who I don't even know. It's just so messed up. I didn't even like any of my suitors and they want me to spend the rest of my life with one of them" She sighed "And then you came along" She looked at me and smiled slightly. "You weren't like anyone who I've ever met. You had the biggest heart. You were always so nice to me even though sometimes I'm being such a difficult snob, you were always so patient. Sometimes I'd just watch you interacting with the help and they all love you, you don't let them clean your room, you smile at them all the time even when you're in a bad mood and you're always so grateful, you're so humble even though you have a higher position than any of them, you acted like you're equal, and I don't see that much from people around here"
I was shocked, I never even notice her studying me.
She faced me and held my face "I don't have control in my life, I never had. Just this time I want to feel like I have a choice. I want to be able to decide for myself even just for my first time. If I'm going to marry someone like Charles and be miserable for the rest of my life at least in my heart I know that the person who became my first time had the biggest heart in the world. At least I'll have that" Her eyes were watery.
I don't think we're talking about her first kiss anymore. She was willingly giving me her virginity earlier.
A lot of things we're forcing themselves into my mind. She said she didn't believe in love, it sucked because I had a little hope that we were already on our way to being in love, I guess it's just me. Hopeless. Romantic. Me.
Maybe she liked me a little bit but that's it, but who am I kidding being with her is not my reality.
But I can never be mad at her for doing what she did. I even feel sorry for her because it sounded like she was giving up, she was caring less and less for who she marries, she just want something good to carry in her memory. Maybe I should be grateful that I have a chance to be remembered by someone as high as the soon-to-be Queen.
But she is right about something, I am a good person and that is stopping me from letting her make a mistake even if it's with me.
"Say something please" She whispered.
I reached and held her hand "I don't think sleeping with me is a good idea, Alia. I may be a good person but I'm not innocent, far from it. I've already done a lot of awful things to last a lifetime and trust me a lot more is coming" I frowned, not proud of my past experiences.
Like illegally fighting in the arena and beating the shit out of people as a hobby.
I continued "And the more I got to know you, the more I see that you deserve more. You deserve to have someone you love with you on your first time. I may not be the best person to give advice on this but trust me. There's still hope" I said softly.
Her tears started falling "I'm sorry, I'm being so selfish. You might not even want to sleep with me" She bit her lip to stop her crying.
My eyes widened "No, god no, trust me I want to sleep with you, you have no idea how much. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?" I blushed and chuckled slightly.
She chuckled then her tears started to fall again, she covered her face with both her hands. I knew she was crying so I pulled her to me. She sat on my lap then wrapped her arms around my neck and she cried. I can feel the wetness on my neck, I wrapped my arms around her waist tighter.
This just breaks my heart. I just wanted to do anything to make her happy again, I wanted her to feel like she can do anything and everything, and most especially I want her to believe in love and be loved even if it's not me.
Maybe I am too good because I know that doing the right thing will cost too much, it will cost my heart, and by telling her all those things for her to not give anything to me and be hopeful that someone might come along and make her feel her happiest is the hardest thing I could have ever done.
I'm falling in love with her and I'm pushing her away. I might as well break my heart now than break it later.
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A/N: Thank you :)