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FIFTEEN FROM DUSK TILL DAWN
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THE SKY IS PURE WHITE, as Holly opens her eyes, the brightness making her squint. Her eyes begin to adjust to the light and she recognises the castle walls, the old alcoves with the Deathly Hallows etched below the seats. Her heart jolts and a sense of fear begins to grow in her stomach, as she looks down at herself, spotting her old school uniform, and thinks aloud, "Why am I back here?"
Because everything is different. Durmstrang was never light like this, Durmstrang had always been dark, dark, dark. The lightest the sky could be was a murky light-grey, never the sort of white the UK tends to have most days. But the castle walls are darker than what they used to be, contrasting heavily with the bright sky beyond the school's corridor. She glances at the Deathly Hallows mark in the alcove, which weirdly looks like someone's painted the indents of the carving with the same pure white as the sky. Holly looks down. Even her pale skin's a massive contrast to her dark school uniform.
"I'm supposed to be dead," she says, her brows furrowing. Part of her hopes that if she speaks aloud, then maybe she'll see Susannah, maybe someone will appear. For a second she begins to worry that the last three years have been a dream, and that she didn't die, she woke up. But then that brings the question of how is she standing in a corridor — if it was a dream, she would've opened her eyes and found herself lying down, in a bed, not here. Not metres away from her old Dark Arts classroom... Not metres away from one of the many Deathly Hallows markings made by students copying Grindelwald.
So she's dead, she has to be. There's no other option, is there? She can't be dreaming. This is all real, she can feel that. Dreams never feel this solid, they're always a little clouded.
But if this is the afterlife... "Why here?" she asks.
She hopes someone will answer her question. None of this makes sense. But, part of her feels worried at the idea of someone else appearing here. She knows of one dead person associated with this place, and she'd rather not see Karkaroff any time soon... But her mother killed him, maybe she'll see her... She doesn't want that, either.
Holly's brows furrow, but she's still stuck to the spot. It's scaring her, being back here. And the idea of this being her eternity makes her sick to her stomach. She thought she was starting to move away from this place, she can't spend the rest of existence in this hellhole.
She grimaces, crossing her arms, and her gaze falls onto that damned Deathly Hallows marking again. That weird-ass depiction of Death from that stupid fucking fairytale could come and explain whatever the hell this is, and I'd be grateful.
"You shouldn't be here."
"Whoa, what?"
Holly spins around, and, wouldn't you know it, 'that weird-ass depiction of Death from that stupid fucking fairytale' stands in the middle of the corridor, a black mist in the shape of the grim reaper. She's frozen.
"You shouldn't be here."
"But where is here?" she says. "Is this the afterlife? I am not spending eternity back at this place."
"This isn't the afterlife," says Death. Holly's trying her hardest not to burst out laughing, to exclaim how fucking ridiculous this is. "You're not there yet. You won't be for a very long time."
"Where am I, then?" she asks.
"Some call it limbo," says Death. "I prefer to look at it as the place deals are made..." Well that's not good. "... And the place past deals are acknowledged."
"I'm not killing anyone," says Holly.
"But you already have."
Holly's blood — if she still has it, in this weird place — goes cold. Instantly her mind jolts back to her mother falling to the floor at her new school, her current school, with blood pouring out from her neck. She looks back at Death.
"You gave me a life," says Death. "And I will return yours."
Her gaze moves back to the Deathly Hallows symbol.
"But when the girl in the Three Brothers was resurrected, she wasn't truly back," says Holly. She remembers how she wished to see Death, so she thinks, Please don't lie to me. "Will I be like that?"
"No," says Death. "Although the same stone will have brought you both back to the mortal world, you are not her. I want you to live. I did not want the same for her."
There is a pause. Holly feels a shiver run down her spine.
"When you return, you will live life as a mortal until you are old, but you will have a connection to this immortal world... It is a consequence of surviving the dark magic that brought you here, similar to the dark magic you've already experienced from this school," says Death. Holly translates this as: I'm always going to be cold, great. "But you will not live like the girl from the tale. You will live freely, however, you may have immortal visitors when they're wished for..." He pauses. Everything becomes colder and colder, quieter and quiet, until he says, "Until we meet again, Holliday Lippincott."
Everything goes bright.
Her hands shield her eyes and she squeezes them shut, white noise shouting in her ears. She thinks she stumbles backwards but then everything feels strange again — and, like that, the noise and the cold and the brightness disappears.
Holly's eyes open and before she can think twice, she moves so she's kneeling on the floor, and she throws up, right onto the old wooden flooring in the room she died in. She jumps to her feet and she wipes her mouth, grabbing the mirror from the side of the room. The room is empty, and the windows reveal the pitch-black sky.
She survived death.
A smile appears across her face until it hits her.
If Bellatrix finds out I'm alive, I'm fucked.
She needs to get out. Forget school, she's got to run away, she's got to grab that bag from her room and her wand and she needs to get the hell out of this place, before anyone realises that she's still alive. Bellatrix will have alerted the other Death Eaters by now, revealing that little Holliday dearest is a traitor to their cause. She has no other option but to leave.
Holly rushes to one of the doors, trying her best to stay quiet. But the door's locked. She checks the other two in the room, and they're all the same. It's fine, it's fine, I can find a way out... It takes two minutes to run upstairs... I can always break out of here, once that clock there says it's, like, midnight, and I'll be gone before they realise what's going on. There's the Floo Network in my room, I can get out that way. I can do this, I can do this—
"I'll show you, if you don't believe me!"
Bellatrix's voice is carried with footsteps. Holly's stomach drops.
And then she remembers.
She's seventeen. She can Apparate.
Holly pictures her bedroom in Malfoy Manor, pictures the wallpaper, the wooden bed frame. She wills herself to get there, but her mind is occupied. She keeps on thinking what's going to happen, once that door opens. But she can't think that, she needs to get out, she needs to get out.
Clear your fucking head! she thinks.
"Did you ever think she could be a traitor, Draco?"
"No," her cousin says softly.
"Are you sure she was, Bella?" her aunt Narcissa asks.
"Of course she is — was!"
Holly squeezes her eyes shut. She pictures her bedroom, clinging tightly onto the mirror she inherited from Dumbledore. She thinks of the wallpaper, the bed, the trunk, the fireplace, the en-suite, the window, the carpet, the wardrobe—
Her entire body is squeezed and pulled. She opens her eyes and she's in her bedroom, and she breathes a sigh of relief. It'll take them a couple minutes before they start searching, and only Atticus and Draco know her room well enough to be granted entrance. She's safe in here for a couple minutes, long enough for her to look into the mirror she inherited, see where she needs to go.
By this, she knows it'll take her to where the Diadem is. She can grab it and destroy it, and she'll figure out her next steps once that's done. But for now, she looks into the mirror, which shows her enough of a forest for her to visualise it, clear her head, ignore the outraged scream of Bellatrix downstairs, and Apparate with her wand, her mirror, and the Golden Snitch hidden in her bag.
She's surrounded by trees, the sort that grow so tall that their leaves block out sunlight. Holly looks into the mirror again, thinking, where the fuck do I look for a Diadem here? She looks at the trees, at the clearing, and frowns. Surely the crown wasn't buried amongst worms and badger shit?
But before she can think twice, something grabs her. She tries to scream, but a hand covers her mouth. Apparently there's Snatchers now — maybe this is one of them. They grabbed her from behind, she doesn't know. And she heard that sometimes the Ministry tracks where people Apparate, so she panics, and she struggles against whoever's holding her, trying to bite into their palm to make them let go.
And then she's forced into the clearing, where a tent magically appears. The person lets go of her, and she spins to curse them, but they pull the Invisibility Cloak off, and she's face to face with a familiar boy.
She feels as if it's been centuries, like she's walked countless decades on this earth without seeing him. She can't believe this time last year they were in school together, that they were sitting close to each other in the Great Hall, or talking quietly in the kitchens.
She thinks she forgot how much she missed him — at some point it became so dreadful that she stopped thinking about it, that it became a constant gnawing pain in her heart that she got used to.
But she can see him again, and she feels as if time stops still.
His hair's a little messier, like he hasn't brushed it properly in months. His clothes are scruffy too, much less the same few pairs of jeans and t-shirts and hoodies, but instead there's a big coat on top to keep him warm. Even his scar looks dirty. It contrasts completely to her ensemble for running away; a leather jacket and jumper underneath, with her best pair of black jeans.
Holly and Harry look at each, silent. For a minute they stare at each other, and Holly isn't sure what to do. But before she can say something, there's a second where they both step closer and, just like that, they kiss each other, their lips colliding.
"How did you find us?" says Harry, once Holly steps backwards, breaking apart from him. "Do the Death Eaters know we're here? Are you warning us?"
"No, they don't know," says Holly, shaking her head. She looks down at the mirror in her hand, her brows furrowing. "Dumbledore left this mirror to me. It's meant to guide the owner to where they need to go."
"You look disappointed this is it," says Harry.
"No, I'm not," says Holly. She looks at him, and she knows he isn't convinced. "OK, maybe a little. But hear me out — I thought it was going to lead me to one of the Horcruxes, when my mother was younger she left this map in my head to find the Diadem, the Horcrux that he made her hide, and I thought this mirror would show me the way... But I'm here. Which is still good, of course."
"If you stay you'll be an Undesirable, all three of us are—"
"Well," says Holly, cracking a smile. "I think I'm one anyway."
"What?"
"HOLLY!"
Hermione throws herself onto Holly, hugging her tightly. Holly hugs her back, smiling weakly as Hermione begins to ramble things into Holly's hair, half of which she doesn't properly hear. She hears enough to decide she's asking how Holly found them, how Holly is, what happened with Margo, how Holly is, why Holly isn't going to school, how Holly is, if this is safe for Holly, and, again, "Are you OK?"
"It's a bit of a long story," says Holly. She looks over Hermione's shoulder to Ron, who's standing to the side of the tent. Holly smiles softly at him to say hello. "But, you'll be pleased to hear that me and the Grim Reaper are best friends."
"What?" says Harry and Ron at once.
Hermione keeps an arm around Holly. "Let's go into the tent..."
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"SO BELLATRIX KILLED YOU," says Ron, looking at Holly incredulously as he repeats what she said the minute before. Holly nods. "And Death let you come back to life because—"
"Because I killed my mother, yes," says Holly, grimacing. She's sitting at the table in the tent with the other three, with her hands sitting awkwardly in her lap. She had explained that to them, too, and everything that had happened since the night Dumbledore died. Part of her forgot that she'd been out of contact with everyone since that evening, with the exception of her cousin. But she's glad that she's explained what happened to them, considering the rumours were building Holly to be either a murderer that will definitely live up to her first school's expectation, or a pathetic child that surely didn't do it. And she's neither.
She had also explained what her mother had left her to do, and the fact that she had been given the Snitch to then give to Harry, which she does do, although the thing refuses to open and sits on the table as a meaningless, golden ball. But, now, Holly looks at the locket Ron's wearing. "What's that?"
"Slytherin's locket," says Ron.
"Wait, really?" says Holly. Homesickness takes over and her eyes widen with excitement, looking at the locket sitting around Ron's neck and thinking about her house, her dungeons, her common room and dorm room that she loves dearly. She misses school. If all of this hadn't happened, she'd be there right now, lounging on her bed... Maybe not lounging, considering the current climate and the fact that she's close to the three most wanted people in the wizarding world, but whatever.
Hermione nods. "Umbridge had it, so the three of us snuck into the Ministry — we used Polyjuice Potion, and spent weeks watching the Ministry beforehand, because we had been staying at Grimmauld Place..." she says, and Holly nods along, intrigued. "So we stole the locket, and now we're taking it in turns to wear it, to keep it safe."
"What was it like there?" says Holly, brows furrowing.
"They're watching everyone in the Order," says Harry. Holly isn't surprised. She heard the Death Eaters laughing over it before and after their meetings at Malfoy Manor, when she would hide at the top of the staircase in hopes of hearing something... She never found anything out. "Ron was pretending to be this man, who's wife was a muggleborn and she had a court case... Did you know they've been holding court cases trying to prove muggleborns aren't magical?"
Holly shook her head. "That's awful."
"Hopefully they'll have taken their children and left the country," says Hermione, speaking softly. Holly nods in agreement, feeling terrible for this family she's never met. Quietly, Hermione adds, "My parents have left, by the way... I put a memory charm on them, so they don't know who I am... They're living in Australia for the time being."
"They won't find them," says Holly, and she knows she's also saying this to remind herself that they won't find her parents. Her heart twitches at how they might be treating Atticus because of her. Don't think about that, he can handle this, you know he can. She looks at Ron, and her brows furrow when she sees the grimace on his face. "Are you all right, Ron?"
"Fine," says Ron.
"The locket has negative effects on you, when you wear it," says Hermione quietly, to fill Holly in. She keeps on glancing at Ron, who looks pissed off. "That's why we've been taking it in turns wearing it."
"OK," says Holly. "What else do you do, then?"
"Normally one of us takes watch," says Harry.
Hermione stands up. "I'll go."
With that she walks out of the tent with her wand, sitting down on a log outside. Holly fidgets on the picnic bench, feeling a little awkward.
"What's it like to die, then?" says Ron.
Harry sits up when he asks, and Holly wishes she didn't notice.
"Strange," says Holly, frowning, trying to take her mind off of the fact that Harry seems interested in this topic, and she knows exactly why. "Everything just stops. There isn't anything special. You're just there, being tortured, and the next minute, you're not. You just cut off, and that's it... Well, that wasn't it for me, which I still find bizarre..."
"It's good, though," says Harry.
Ron nods in agreement. "Enough people are dying for this, you shouldn't go, too."
Harry looks over at Ron, and Holly tries to decipher it. They all look tense. Part of her wonders if she showed up in the wake of an argument, or something. Harry had looked at Ron as if he thought he was blaming him for this, and she knows that hadn't been intended by Ron... Surely it hadn't been intended to be that... Holly doesn't like this.
"Mad-Eye and Hedwig died," says Harry.
"Yeah, and George lost an ear," says Ron.
"I heard about Mad-Eye," says Holly. She remembers it vividly, how loud and excited Bellatrix had been when she returned to Malfoy Manor, following the Death Eaters' attempt to snatch Harry on his way from his aunt and uncle's house. "Is George all right now?"
Ron shrugs. "He's getting there."
"He's fine, now," says Harry.
Ron nods. "Yeah, he's just half-deaf because Snape tried to fucking kill him."
"Being deaf's better than being dead," says Holly, trying her hardest to be somewhat positive about this. If Ron knew about muggles she'd say something about Vincent Van Gogh being a badass genius despite the same injury... Maybe she could mention that, just miss out the part that Van Gogh cut the ear off himself... "Is the rest of your family OK?"
Ron nods. "I think."
"That's good," says Holly quietly.
There's silence for a moment. Holly doesn't know what to say. In the background she can hear the radio on the other side of the tent, talking about everything going on. Holly hears them talking about Hogwarts, and feels a pang of guilt, remembering that her friends will be there wondering where she is. She hopes her friends won't do what they did with Umbridge... She desperately hopes Pansy will stand up this time, that she doesn't let her own self-preservation get in the way of helping others. Her friends are the oldest students now, surely they'll feel some responsibility, surely they won't did what she did at eleven, too young to know better.
"Can someone else wear it now?" says Ron, already pulling the locket over his head.
"I can," says Holly, and she ignores the concerned look on Harry's face as she extends her hands, waiting for Ron to give it to her. "I mean, what can be worse than dying?" And she laughs lightly, painfully aware of how tense the other three have been acting.
She puts the necklace on, and instantly, she feels different. Weird.
"It makes you have negative thoughts and feelings," says Harry immediately, as Ron stands up to cross the tent, to listen to the radio. "If it's too much..."
"I'll be fine," says Holly. "I am fine."
"I'm just saying," says Harry, frowning at her. "You died and came back to life... That locket might make things worse for you..."
"I'm fine," she says again, although she feels incredibly aware of the locket pressed against her chest, the chain sitting around her collarbone. She's used to her diamond necklace, not this massive thing taking up room, taking attention away from the pretty little ghost-house. "It's strange being here, though... This time last year we were at school."
"I know," he says.
Holly lets out a sigh. She can't help but wonder what her friends are doing, what all of her house is doing. She knows their first instinct will be to keep to themselves, but she feels sick at the thought of her friends not helping out the younger years. They must be doing something to comfort them... She can't imagine how terrified the first years must be this year. They walked into that school knowing it was going to be awful, they've been dreading it all summer. At least reality crashed in on Holly when she got to Durmstrang for her first year.
She wonders if her friends are all right. She hopes they are. Part of her wants to will the universe into protecting them. She thinks of her step-dad, too, and she feels nothing but guilt. The Death Eaters had taken Binns' job from him and handed it to Atticus, to ensure there are as many Death Eaters in the school as humanly possible. He's the only one out of them that had taken History of Magic as a N.E.W.T., so he had been employed as the new professor... She hopes the distance between himself and the others means he's safer.
Holly hopes Atticus is safe. She can't bear the thought of them hurting him because of her. Part of her thinks, he'll be fine, you know he will, but another part of her challenges that. How does she know that Atticus will be fine, if anything happens to him? He never got to chance to tell her about his life, about what happened when he was her age. She knows everything about how her mother loved Regulus Black, but she doesn't know anything about Atticus. All she knows is that he gave up his life to help his best friend — but that's one thing. Someone's life isn't just one thing, one decision. He must have so many decisions, so many stories, and she doesn't know any of them.
"It's a shame he never told you," says a girl, a few hours later, as Holly lies in her awkward camping bed. Her face becomes illuminated by the blue flames sitting to the side of the tent, trapped in a jar, and Holly sees the ghostly face of her mother, now sixteen. Apparently when you die, your ghost is the age you were the happiest... Her mother's the same age as she is in those pictures Holly's seen of her, the ones where she's smiling next to Regulus Black, the ones captioned with 'and no one knew how wicked she would become.'
"This story's good, let me tell you..."
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yeah so um hope ur ready for an atticus flashback
i hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you thought!