LET THE
RIVER RUN
( part 1 )
WORD COUNT 3.8k
OVERVIEW "all my sins need holy water, feel it rushing over me, so let the river run" / where jimin finds kindness in a random stranger who fell asleep in his boyfriend's apartment ( single parent!jimin, punk!guk / this is gonna get soft in pt 2 / title from river by eminem )
PLAYLIST river / eminem & ed sheeran
∆
"WHY ARE YOU doing this again?!"
park jimin's screaming at three in the morning again. park jimin's in an apartment that smells like a whiskey bottle hitting the carpet again. park jimin's looking at his boyfriend with an empty bottle in his hand, wondering what the fuck went wrong again. park jimin's having his heart shattered like a jack daniel's bottle by an angry drunk, again.
"why, jongin? fucking why?" jimin's eyes sting with how much he's been crying, and the baby down the hall is screaming and his heart is hammering and everything is wrong, wrong, wrong. jimin feels like he's gonna fall over, faint, throw up, anything — but all he's doing is crying. he just can't anymore. can't take the bottles all over the floors of their home, the constant stench of alcohol in jongin's breath, the unhealthy life his son is going to have if this continues.
"i'm leaving, jongin," jimin says firmly, more to himself than to taehyung, who jimin thinks it's past comprehension at this point. the man's head turns, to look at his blonde boyfriend, pupils blown, out of it, and jimin's terrified but tries not to show it. "i'm going, and i'm taking hyoseol with me. i'm sorry."
jimin goes to turn around and march to their room before getting the fuck out of there, but there's a sound from down the hall and suddenly jimin's son is quiet, he's stopped crying at the top of his lungs, and jimin's blood goes cold, because hyoseol never goes quiet like that. his instincts kick in and he runs down the hall, right into the room he shares (shared) with hyoseol and jongin.
in their ratty, untidy, drug stinking room, there's some random kid with pink hair standing over the cot and cradling jimin's son in his arms, humming to him and shushing him when he starts looking like he'll cry again. jimin doesn't know how to react, his first instinct being to hit whoever the fuck is holding his son, because he has muscled arms with tattoos and a few silver piercings and he looks like the kind of guys jimin wants to avoid, especially with the company jongin keeps.
"who the fuck—" jimin breathes out, careful to keep quiet because of hyoseol. "—are you?" he tries to ask this in the least scared way possible, trying to sound intimidating, and the pink haired man looks up, eyes wide, pierced eyebrow raised.
"oh, sorry, is he yours?" he nods his head towards the small boy asleep in his arms, and jimin nods, crossing his arms. "oh, i'm sorry, it's just he woke me up and i heard you— uh, heard you yelling, and he was crying a lot, so i just— yeah," the man (teen? jimin's not sure) scratches the back of his neck, holding hyoseol with one arm, black tattoos a strange contrast to hyoseol's yellow onesie. "i'm guk, kai's friend..."
jimin visibly flinches at jongin's dealing name, but he takes his son from guk and kisses his forehead, cradling him. he looks at guk, skeptically. "what are you doing here?" he asks, hyoseol's breathing steady as he sleeps. guk smiles awkwardly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"came here for some weed, 'cept kai gave me some fucked-up skunk. i couldn't think, let alone move shit, so i just crashed on the bathroom floor," he explains, and jimin notes the wetness on his ratty hole-filled shirt, probably from the bathroom. "he's, uh... yeah, i'm never doing skunk ever again. sticking to what i know."
"so you're one of his druggie clients?" jimin says, malice evident in his voice. for the last half year, jongin's been dealing drugs, and jimin doesn't approve at all; at first it was just a bit of puff here and there, whatever he could get his hands on, and then when he befriended one of the most corrupt police officers jimin's ever met, he started with skunk, spice, coke, ketamine, even acid once. jimin thinks jongin should grow up. jongin says it's good business. they stopped agreeing on things a while ago.
guk shrugs, biting his pierced lip. "not really. i only smoke weed, like, casual, and i was picking up stuff for my mate. kai asked me if i wanted to try his new skunk stuff and i stupidly said yes," he looks at hyoseol. "what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?"
jimin places hyoseol in his cot, going to pick up his suitcase. "i'm not doing much more here, guk, i'll be honest. i've gotta give my son a better life than that asshole and his ketamine-skunk-acid-alcohol cocktail of a life. i'm leaving. can't take jongin's alcoholism anymore."
jimin's packing basically all his clothes into his big traveling suitcase, which isn't hard; they're the only clothes in the closet, jongin's scattered everywhere like he's still a teenager. guk watches, quiet, and jimin wonders what the fuck the kid's deal is as he pulls on a hoodie that smells comfortingly of his best friend yoongi's cologne. he smiles sadly at the thought of the short rapper, small hands picking up books he loves; yoongi's boyfriend seokjin recently moved into his apartment, and the two are a good couple, seokjin being a singer and chef, and yoongi's never been happier. jimin remembers growing up with him, listening to their music and running around the city like they'd live forever.
jimin misses that.
"where will you go?"
guk's question snaps him out of nostalgia, snaps him back to reality, and jimin looks up, hair falling in his eyes, lip worried between his teeth. in truth, he didn't think that far ahead with his plans, just wanting to leave the apartment as soon as possible, wanting to get hyoseol out of there. he blinks at guk, swallowing, going to respond, but—
"didn't think that far ahead?" guk says, sympathetic, hands in the pockets of his old sweats. jimin doesn't know how to respond, but nods, getting his laptop from under the bed and putting it into his suitcase. "do you even have an idea of where to go? you can't just live on the streets."
jimin looks at hyoseol, suddenly struck with worry. "u-uh..." where can he go? he can't go to seokjin and yoongi, they barely have space as it is, and taehyung's out of town visiting his grandparents, namjoon and hoseok are both living at jackson and jaebum's — jimin's got nowhere. the realization strikes him, and he holds a hand to his mouth.
"i-i don't know," he chokes out, full of anxiety. "my friends don't have any space, m-my family's in busan and they won't take me back," his eyes are wide, those of a scared single father and those of a teenager with nowhere to go combined, worry for his son more than for himself flooding his entire being like poison. "o-oh fuck, what have i done?"
jimin's breathing is quickening with every second, until guk grabs his arm and forces their eyes to meet, calm and collected for someone who looks so young. "hey," he says, his face saying 'pull yourself back together'. "hey, hey, it's alright. i know a guy who owns a motel."
"don't have the money," jimin says, tears clouding his vision like fogged up glass, everything suddenly collapsing just like his life is falling apart. he pulls at his hair, choked-out sobs leaving his lips. "oh fuck, oh fuck what am i doing—"
guk's grip tightens, trying his hardest to keep jimin steady and grounded. "hey, hey!" he says, snapping his fingers in front of jimin's face. jimin briefly notices he has tattoos on his knuckles and the back of his hand, ink swirling before his eyes. "look, i know you don't know me, and that this is a terrible idea, but i'm gonna offer it anyway. do you want to stay at mine? my roommate just moved out and i don't want to let you live on the street."
jimin looks up at guk's face through a haze of tears, sniffing pathetically. "r-really?" he asks, wiping his eyes. guk's eyes drift to hyoseol, and back to jimin. hr nods.
"yeah. 'course. you've gotta kid, you can't live on the streets," he smiles, and jimin launches into a slew of thank you's, making the pinkette smile. "it's okay. oh, dude, what's your name? you never said."
"jimin," jimin says, closing up his suitcase. "and my son's hyoseol." said boy is sleeping peacefully in his little bunny onesie, his brown hair sticking up a little, one thumb in his mouth. guk smiles, and takes jimin's suitcase.
"alright. i'll call a ride, so get anything you need," he says, and jimin's struck dumb by the kindness of a simple stranger he met five minutes ago. he swallows, nervous energy clearly obvious. "please, don't think the worst thoughts," guk says, quick, before he dials anything on his phone. "i'm not some sleaze, or an addict, or a dickhead sweet talking you to get in your pants. i'm just a twenty year old guy who works at a tattoo shop and smokes weed very occasionally. jeon jeongguk."
he holds his hand out for jimin to shake, and the older does so, willing his anxiety away because it's really pissing him off. "t-thank you, jeongguk."
"no problem, jimin," jeongguk smiles this adorable smile that makes him vaguely resemble a big, tattooed bunny. "alright, wonwoo better pick the fuck up."
jeongguk's cousin, apparently, wonwoo, comes to pick them up within five minutes, jongin passed out on the couch as they leave, jeongguk and wonwoo helping jimin with his bags, wonwoo's boyfriend mingyu holding hyoseol carefully as they take the stairs. wonwoo's volkswagen van can fit all of them, thankfully, and jimin lets silent tears of gratitude fall in the darkness of the back seat. jeongguk hand is calming on his back, rubbing circles, and hyoseol babbles up at his dad, gurgling happily. jimin's so happy he's left, he can't control the sobs.
"hey, jimin, right?" wonwoo asks, delicate, and jimin chokes out an agreement. "what's your son called?"
"hyo-hyoseol," he says, wiping his eyes roughly, smiling at his baby boy. "he's nearly one." the boy smiles, taking his dad's thumb. jeongguk's tattooed fingers pinch at hyoseol's cheeks, the pinkette cooing cutely at the baby in jimin's lap.
"adorable," wonwoo's boyfriend coos, leaning over the front seat to tickle the boy's tummy. "aw, he's so cute! you're a lucky man."
jimin shrugs. "he's the only good thing in my life," he says, truthful, kissing hyoseol's forehead. "rest of it's all fucked."
mingyu smiles sadly, looking at jimin with a lot of expression in his eyes. "you'll be okay," he looks out of the windshield, smiling. "ah, we're here guk!"
jeongguk smiles, the rain outside torrential as he slides the door open. "shit! wonwoo, park in the garage, please?"
wonwoo does as told, and they're in the underground parking lot soon enough, all of them piling out. the boys all help jimin with his bags, the elevator loaded once with luggage and mingyu on the first go, and them on the next. jimin doesn't even get a chance to look around before jeongguk's ushering him to bed, telling him he can look around in the morning, so he collapses into a blue sheeted bed with hyoseol in his arms and falls asleep almost instantly.
∆
JIMIN WAKES UP TO daniel caesar's voice streaming through an unfamiliar house, and he almost panics when he sees light beige walls that certainly aren't his and jongin's bedroom. he reminds himself where he is once he hears jeongguk singing, wherever he is in the house, but his heart's in his throat again when he realises hyoseol isn't in bed with him.
he leaves the warm bed and pulls off his sweatshirt, before rushing out of the door. he can hear his son babbling in that language only babies speak, and jimin relaxes when he sees the little boy sat securely in a highchair in the kitchen of jeongguk's small apartment. the pinkette is shirtless and in sweatpants, tattooed skin on display, waiting for his coffee machine to brew, while japanese denim plays from a speaker on the side. jimin smiles; he feels safe.
"morning hyung!" jeongguk smiles brightly once he spots the blonde, waving for jimin to come over into the kitchen, which he does, sunlight hitting his face from the window. "did you sleep okay?"
"yes, thank you so much," jimin smiles so wide, sitting beside hyoseol at the table, his son reaching playfully for his dad's messy blonde hair. "did baby wake you?"
"yeah," jeongguk smiles playfully, leaning against the counter. "it's all good. found the baby formula in your bag and fed him, and wonwoo actually bought this highchair over, bless him."
jimin's heart bursts at the thought of these strangers being so kind to him, and his smile is so bright, he hasn't been this happy in years. "oh my god, thank you so much," he says, and jeongguk just shrugs. "seriously, guk, you're too kind."
"my friends say i'm a pushover," jeongguk laughs, turning around when the coffee machine dings. "ah! how do you take your coffee?"
"black, two sugars," jimin says, kissing hyoseol's cheek affectionately as the kid grabs for his dad. jimin takes him from the chair and sits him on his lap, bouncing his knee. "morning seolie," he blows a raspberry at the baby, who laughs and takes his dad's cheeks in his hands like jimin's done to him before. "oh, hello, what are you doing?" jimin laughs, and jeongguk looks on with a small smile, passing jimin his coffee.
"what does hyoseol eat— if he's on solids already, that is," jeongguk asks, sitting down. jimin's eyed are slightly distracted by the black inked dragon on jeongguk's left pec, but he moves his eyes to meet the younger. "i'm going shopping today, if you wanna come along."
jimin nods, sipping at the coffee and bouncing hyoseol. "he likes fruit, like avocados, bananas, strawberries; he's only had them a couple times though, considering... everything. usually it's just milk, but i'm trying to wean him off that. formula's expensive."
jeongguk nods in understanding, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning forward. "well, if you like, wonwoo and mingyu—the guys from last night—can look after him, and you and i can go shopping? mingyu's taking care of his niece at the moment, she's like one and a half, so maybe they'd get along?"
jimin considers it; it's rare he gets time without hyoseol, as he usually takes the small boy everywhere with him, but maybe it'd be nice. he shrugs, jeongguk's cologne tickling his nose; it's smoky and manly and takes jimin's nose on a trip. he inhales deep, before answering, "yeah, i'll come along. hyo needs to socialise more." he laughs.
jimin's never felt better than this; he leaves hyoseol under jeongguk's eye and goes to shower in jeongguk's very nice (and very expensive) bathroom. the walls are tiled in a deep mossy colour, the floor's black, and the shower is huge, with at least two metres of standing space and a metre and a half of width. the shower pressure is just right, and jimin's whole body shudders in pleasure as the water hits his aching muscles, soothing music playing from his phone. the shower at his place was always broken; he had to go to taehyung's if he wanted luxury. he lathers his weak tea coloured skin in gorgeous peach body wash, and washes his oily blonde hair with jeongguk's shampoo. it's strawberry scented, which makes jimin chuckle—it's such an unorthodox thing for the tattooed boy to use, but as he lathers his hair with it, he can see why guk uses it.
jimin thinks you can learn a lot about someone by looking in the contents of their bathroom, so there's quite a few observations when it comes to jeongguk; he has three aerosol cans of axe winter smoke beside the sink, two unopened, a tub of keratin hair mask—probably from when he bleached his hair—and a tube of matte & messy hair styling gel next to each other. his shampoo and conditioner are respectively strawberry & vanilla scented, while his toothpaste is regulate colgate spearmint, but what makes jimin actually stifle a giggle in his palm—a giggle, like a schoolgirl talking about sex—is the three tubes of lube (flavoured, mind you) lined up on a shelf, with two boxes of opened magnum condoms right next to them. jimin goes bright red, laughing into his fist until he decides he really needs to get out of the shower.
"we can go in like twenty, yeah hyung?" jeongguk calls as jimin's towelling himself down and spraying a bit of axe on himself. he calls back a yeah, before quickly walking to the spare room in boxers to change. he catches a glance of himself in the mirror; there's actual colour in his peachy cheeks, his fuzz of stubble is gone, and he actually smiles at himself. he dresses in a lilac t-shirt, black jeans and black converse, swiping a hand through his hair to mess it up. jeongguk smiles when jimin enters the living room again, hyoseol bouncing on his knees.
"you look better," he says, and jimin smiles wide. "they'll be here in like ten, but i've gotta shower too. feel free to watch some telly or somethin'." jeongguk passes hyoseol to jimin, and the older sits on the sofa, fiddling with the remote; hyoseol babbles and wriggles while jimin attempts to watch the news, not really focused. when hyoseol pulls at his hair, he just smiles and kisses him all over, because jimin's never felt better about life.
"knock knock!" someone yells from outside, and jimin puts hyoseol onto his hip, walking over. mingyu stands outside, wonwoo behind him with a little brunette girl on his hip. wonwoo's feline eyes crinkle into a smile when he sees jimin.
"you look well, jimin! i'm jeongguk's cousin, wonwoo," he introduces himself properly, smiling. "this is mingyu, my boyfriend, and this is his niece, euna."
"lovely to meet you," jimin says, genuine. "this is my son hyoseol—well, you know that. guk's in the shower, but come in."
they walk in, both taller than jimin, and wonwoo places euna onto the ground, as does jimin with hyoseol, and they instantly interact, causing smiles from the adults. mingyu sits on the sofa, sweeping his hair away from his forehead and smiling at jimin, warm.
"one second," wonwoo excuses himself, and jimin wonders where he's heading as he starts down the corridor, until he positively slams the bathroom door open, causing the most girly, high pitched scream jimin's ever heard. "alright cuz! nice abs!" wonwoo yells, before closing the door loudly. hysterics can be heard from everyone except jeongguk, and jimin's chest warms.
the food court jimin and jeongguk find themselves in two hours later is warm and full of amazing scents, and the boys place their shopping bags down next to a table so they can eat. jeongguk gets them both dörma kebab, something that jimin's never tried, and the blonde inhales the scent of lamb kebabs, shoveled into a pita bread, combined with falafel and sour cream—heaven.
"so, what do you do?" jimin asks jeongguk, just as the younger's taken a huge bite of his pita. the boy chuckles, chews, and swallows, running a hand through his hair.
"i work at a tattoo parlour most days, the mall hot topic occasionally—do not judge me," he says with an accusing glare. "currently on holidays though. you?"
jimin shrugs, "been between jobs for two years—since kai and i started—, which sucks, and i'm currently looking for one. i have next to no qualifications because i didn't go to uni and dropped out of college, then when i went back, hyoseol was dropped on me." he sighs dejectedly, biting into the wrap, and jeongguk's eyes are sympathetic when they meet his next.
"bad relationship with his mum?" he asks, delicate. jimin nods, sipping on some water.
"uh huh. she told me she couldn't get pregnant, and i told her i couldn't handle a kid—goddamn, i was like twenty one doing college again and juggling two jobs to support my tuition, i barely had time to fuck, and the second month she just drops the bombshell on me," he says all this bitterly, biting his lip. "she thought we'd be legit after that—too bad i realised i was gay."
"sounds like an ass." jeongguk says, and jimin nods, tapping his foot under the table. "you got anyone in your life?" jimin asks, and jeongguk smiles.
"nah. hookups, casual," he sips on the coke he'd bought for himself, yawning. "to be honest, relationships are just oof, yknow? i'm twenty one, i don' need that. maybe if i meet the right person, i'd have a chance. but i'm good with just bustin' nuts right now."
jimin breaks into laughter at his last sentence, covering his mouth as his eyes crinkle up at the corners. "oh my god," he laughs, smiling. "make sure you keep that away from my son, young man."
"pssh, he's one, he doesn't have a fuckin' clue."
"oh, but his dad does," jimin says, laughing. "i saw your lube and condoms, guk. strawberry flavoured, really?"
jeongguk goes quiet, cheeks burning the colour of his hair, making jimin burst into laughter. "i-it tastes nice, fuck off." he says, real quiet, and jimin ends up having a full blown hysteric laugh in the middle of the food court, his pinkette counterpart as red as ever as his hyung continues to tease him about his tastes in lube.
"it's been ten minutes, please, jiminie-hyung, stop," jeongguk begs once they're in the high street, hoodie pulled up over his hair to hide his pink cheeks, while jimin's still teasing him the fucking watermelon flavoured lube—"oh my god, it's the best day of my life, issa watermelón!". "you're so embarrassing. i take back the roommate offer."
"too late, boy," jimin chuckles, stopping in his tracks when he sees a tattoo and piercing parlour, an idea seeping into his head. "hey, guk?"
"yeah, hyung?" the boy asks, happy jimin's stopped teasing. the blonde's staring at the tattoo parlour with his lip between his teeth, thinking.
"would you... would you dye my hair for me?" he asks, eyes focused not on the parlour, but on a man inside, with bright purple hair and a beautiful man beside him, holding hands. jeongguk smiles, nodding.
"course, jimin. what colour you thinking?"
"black."
∆
190818
LMAO FINISHED THIS AT 2:45 IN THE MORNING HELP ME
this... needs a part two... bc domestic jikook... YEET
listen to river by eminem the music video inspired jimin's situation woop
—love, jace