It's just another stupid thought, Jungkook told himself as he unlocked the door to his apartment. I don't like him. I don't. I'm straight, I think. And even if I was gay, I wouldn't want to date my best friend.
You literally just came out to him, and now you think you like him? Jimin laughed nervously to himself as he poured a bowl of cereal. You're just being dumb, that's all. Nothing to worry about, you definitely don't like him.
Jungkook stepped into the shower, the hot water welcoming his cold, sweaty body in a pleasing embrace. He tried to relax, but his mind was going a million miles an hour, the scenarios playing inside his head going too fast for his tired conscience to keep up with.
He let out a frustrated groan before reaching for his phone to play some music, with the hopes of clearing his head.
A knock at the door brought his eyes away from the TV, and he stood up to look through the spyglass, nervous to see no one there. Confused, Jungkook opened the door and looked either side of the hallway, checking twice and seeing no one.
Just as he turned to go inside, a strong, gloved hand grabbed his face, clamped over his mouth from behind as Jungkook was pushed back inside his apartment, another hand pushing firmly on his back to guide him.
"Don't move," A deep voice growled. "I won't hurt you if you cooperate."
Jungkook gulped, trying to make his thoughts slow down as his vision was blurry with panic and his stomach was doing backflips.
The mysterious man's grip was unsettlingly strong, and his breath was hot and rancid, so by Jungkook's logic he was obviously a hardass. He tied Jungkook's hands behind his back with a cable tie and pushed him onto the couch, then proceeded to secure his ankles.
~
"Now, before you freak out, I'm just going to rob you." The thief said, adjusting his gloves, "This ain't some mafia shit or whatever, I'll just take what I think is valuable and leave."
"Dude, I'm a broke uni student with an iPhone 6s in 2018," Jungkook sighed, deciding to just be honest. "I literally have, like, five dollars in my wallet, and a bunch of fake gold chains I got for my 21st."
"Woah man I have an iPhone XS Max, I'm flexing on you." The robber snorted.
"Why are you stealing shit from me when you can afford to buy the latest iPhone?"
"I stole it, dummy," He replied, and began searching through the house for goods to snatch. "I mean, I can't unlock it, but I still have it, so the rules say I'm better than you. In the shallowest of aspects."
Jungkook tried not to laugh. "Ah, that makes sense."
"Look man," the thief sighed after finding nothing. "Just give me the details for your YouTube Red account and I'll bounce."
"No way, bitch—" Jungkook started, but he was cut off when his seemingly nice attacker suddenly flicked out a mean looking straight razor from its mahogany cradle, the blade catching the light with a devilish glint.
Jungkook made eye contact with him, looked across the room at his phone, which was sitting on charge on the kitchen bench, and hoped to the highest damn entity that Siri would reply to him for once. Every time that bitch ass phone was across the room from Jungkook and he tried to ask her to do shit, no matter how much he calibrated her voice response, no matter how loud he shouted, Siri never answered.
And unfortunately his life depended on her at this very moment.
"HEY SIRI, CALL JIMIN!"
"W-WHAT? NO!" The attacker yelled in panic. "SIRI EAT MY ASS!"
"Playing Despacito..." Siri droned.
"What the fuck—"
"SHUT UP!" The robber screamed at Jungkook.
After a silence, Siri beeped again.
"Calling Jimin..."
Jimin was sitting at home, tired and exhausted enough to be watching home renovation shows. He was very comfortable, and couldn't be bothered to get up and attempt to find the remote, so he was just rolling with Beachfront Bargain Hunt for now.
His phone sat beside him on the arm of the couch, and with a sudden ring Jungkook's icon appeared on the screen in all its glory. Jimin's heart jumped as he saw the younger's face, and answered the call, reminding himself to sound casual.
"Hey, JK. What's up?"
Jungkook sounded very panicked when he answered, his voice very loud but obviously coming from the other side of the room.
"JIMIN COME TO MY HOUSE NOW HELP—"
"N-NO, DON'T!" A deeper, rougher voice screeched.
Jimin almost fell off the couch. "WHAT'S GOING ON? WHO ARE YOU—"
The call was cut off.
That stupid child, always getting himself into shit.
"Ugh, you asshole," The attacker sounded genuinely upset. "How does 'shut up' sound like 'call Jimmy?'"
"It's Jimin." Jungkook corrected him blankly.
"I don't care," He put his straight razor inside his jacket. "I'm gonna leave now so your friend can rescue you and I don't risk the chance of getting beat up. Peace."
"Yo, wait man," Jungkook said as the robber was halfway out the door. "Never caught your name. Feel like I should know after our hardcore bonding session."
He turned to Jungkook and grinned. "I ain't gonna tell you my real name, but the people on the streets know me as Bingo."
Jungkook laughed. "Nice knowin' ya—"
"BINGOOOOOO!" There was a loud crack as the robber was struck across the back of the head.
Bingo hit the ground with a clumsy thump and Jungkook stared at Jimin in awe as he stood there, baseball bat in hand, with a smile on his face.
"Oh my god, did you just kill him?" Jungkook stood up and inspected Bingo.
Jimin knelt down to check his pulse. "No, he's still alive. The police are on their way, we'll just leave him there until they get here."
"How are you so calm about this?" The younger asked, focus now on getting himself out of the cable ties that bound his wrists and ankles.
"I honestly don't know." Jimin replied, his face as white as porcelain. "But I think I'm about to fall over."
Jimin dropped the bat and hit the floor, looking even more dead than Bingo.
"OH, JESUS CHRIST!" Jungkook frantically tried to wriggle free from the ties until his wrists were rubbed raw. Some five minutes later, he decided to give up on that and try to hop to the kitchen, where he might be able to get a hold of something to cut them.
Jungkook made his way to the kitchen, then proceeded to scan the drawers, in hope that he'd remember which one held some sort of cutting utensil he could use to free himself.
Well, all my knives are from the dollar store, and I don't even think I own scissors...
Then he remembered the straight razor.
"Bingo." He smiled to himself.
Jungkook waddled over to Bingo's twitching body, his heart racing as he thought of the many violent outcomes of the situation he was practically falling into, but against his fears he threw himself to his knees clumsily, careful not to lose balance or kick Jimin, who was still out cold beside the couch.
He awkwardly lay down on his side to fit up against the thief's grossly overweight torso, then proceeded to feel around for the straight razor in his jacket, with only his tied hands to navigate the complicated system of pockets.
He had been feeling around for a few moments when, much lower in the jacket, he felt a hard object.
"Aha! I have you now—"
The light flicked on and Jungkook strained his neck to look at the doorway.
"Uh, Police?" A lady in uniform looked at him with a rather embarrassed expression. "May I ask what you're doing?"
"Oh, hi. This probably looks a little odd to you, but I'm feeling for a straight razor so I can cut the ties," Jungkook realised how dumb the sentence was, then tried to feel for the weapon again so it'd make sense, only to realise what he was touching was not a straight razor. "Oh, that's a dick—"
"Sir, this scene is extremely complicated for us, so we're going to keep you restrained until we get at least one of these men to come around and help us come to a conclusion about what exactly is going on here." A man said, slightly appalled by what he was looking at.
"Oh, ok. Sorry." Jungkook blushed and sat up, quite mortified.
Jungkook told the police the entire story, and thankfully the police tried to wake Jimin up first instead of Bingo (probably because the latter was a fat old man who did indeed have a straight razor in his jacket, as the officers soon discovered). Soon Jimin came around to back Jungkook's story up.
"So I get a call from Jungkook, and he tells me to come over, sounding really panicked. I hear this other guy screaming angrily at him, and since I live close I just ran here. Then of course I arrived just as Bingo — that's his name — had opened the door to leave, but he had his back to the hall, so he didn't notice me. I hit him over the head and shouted 'BINGO' which was really funny, and then I fainted, leaving Jungkook tied up." Jimin explained.
"Somehow this checks out, but we need you to put in a statement," the policewoman said. "Come down to the station now, it'll only take you a bit."
Paramedics had arrived to take Bingo away, and Jimin and Jungkook climbed into the police cruiser.
"Lucky none of your neighbours are home," The policewoman said. "We'd have to take so many statements, eh Po?"
The policeman chuckled. "Yep, and it's way too late for that."
Jungkook and Jimin made confused eye contact as the officers laughed about extremely unfunny police jargon all the way to the station.