"Is this your girlfriend?" The confused Mikey asked. I instantly felt my heart sink. Gerard's girlfriend? He really doesn't remember me? Gerard looked over at me with worried and sad eyes. Mikey continued to look confused.
"What? Did you guys like break up or something?" He reached up and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
"M-Mikey, y/n is your girlfriend." Gee sputtered out. Mikey furrowed his eyebrows.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend."
"Mikey, you and y/n have been together for months." Gerard said, letting me get closer to him. I walked up and took his hand into mine. He pulled it away which made my heart shatter more than it has.
"Gerard, I've never dated her. I don't even recognize her."
"What?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes.
"I'm sorry uh.. y/n... I just don't think I've ever dated you." Mikey shook his head awkwardly.
"Excuse me." I said while walking out of the room. The tears were full on falling at this point. I didn't stop walking until I got outside. I pressed my back up against the wall and slid down since my knees couldn't support me any more. The tears were a never ending waterfall flowing down my cheeks and staining my shirt.
The love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, doesn't know I'm his girlfriend. He doesn't even know who I am. I know I said that I'd be fine, that I'd make him remember me, but I'm not. How am I supposed to make him remember me. How can I convince him that he loves me? Loved me. How can I make him remember me?
I was so lost in my thought and tears, that I didn't even see Frank or Ray come up to me. The had been giving me a hug on both of my sides. I lifted my head to look at him.
"Is Mikey okay?" Ray asked worried. I wiped away a few tears so that I could see clearer. I nodded my head.
"H-he's awake. But d-doesn't remember m-me." I stuttered, still sniffling back tears. Frank's eyes widened as Ray gasped.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry." Ray said while pulling me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his shoulder. Frank had his hand on my shoulder rubbing it.
"He will remember you eventually. I know he will." Frank assured.
"Was I that unimportant to him t-that he doesn't remember me?" I cried.
"Nononono sweat heart. You meant the world to him y/n. He loved you more than you could imagine. Before he got into the accident, he wouldn't stop talking about how much he loves you and how he just wanted to kiss and hold you 24/7." Ray chuckled. I felt a blush rise on my cheeks but I covered it with a giggle. I let go of Ray and leaned back against the wall.
"Do you want to go back in there?" Frank asked while letting go of my shoulder. I took a deep breath and nodded my head. Ray pulled me up with him and slung an arm around my shoulder.
"I love you guys." I barely said while leaning against Ray.
"We love you too y/n." Frank replied with a smile. I smiled up until we reached his room door. Frank walked in first, then Ray, then me.
Mikey's eyes lit up when he saw the two boys. "Hey Ray, hey Frank." He greeted them. Hearing him remember him and not me made the broken pieces feel stepped on. I squeezed onto the side of Mikey's hoodie I was wearing to keep calm.
"How are you feeling?" Frank asked while patting Mikey's leg.
"A little sore but other than that I feel fine." Mikey replied while sitting up a bit. I took a seat at the window sill. There was a padded bench that I have been sleeping on. I stared out the window most nights when I couldn't sleep. Gerard looked at me sad that I didn't sit close to Mikey. I shook it off.
"When are we going back on tour?" Mikey asked, specifically to Gee.
"Slow down there buddy, you just woke up from a two week coma. And you're still injured. I'm sure all five of us need a bit before we're mentally ready to go back on tour." Gerard answered his brother.
"Five?" Mikey raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, us four and y/n." Ray answered. Mikey turned to look at me confused.
"Did you guys like add her to the band while I was out?"
"No Mikey. Y/n, your girlfriend, opens for us." Gerard said, emphasizing girlfriend. Mikey shook his head.
"Since when? And shes not my girlfriend." Mikey said aggravated. I sunk into my sweatshirt to hide the pain.
"Shes opened for us the whole first half of the tour." Gerard said, equally aggravated.
"You guys are telling me bullshit. I think I'd rememb-"
"YOU HAVE FUCKING MEMORY LOSS MIKEY!" Gerard yelled. Mikey looked shocked that his brother raised his voice at him. He kinda reminded me of a lost puppy. Oh how I wanted to just hold him and make him feel safe again. Instead I grabbed my sketchbook and continued on the drawing I've been working on. It was of when Mikey kissed me on top of the Ferris wheel. I wish I could go back to that night...
Ray has kept his sympathetic eyes glued on me this whole time. I can feel the pity radiating off of him towards me. I don't want his pity. I just want Mikey. How the fuck could I make him remember me? Will he ever remember me? I looked up from my drawing to see that now Frank had joined in at looking at me. What is their problem?
'What?' I mouthed to them with a little sass. They both just looked away like they weren't just staring at me. Weirdos. I continued onto my drawing. I shaded in Mikey's jawline. I don't think I could have made it any straighter. This was probably the best drawing I've ever done. I kept looking up every now and then to see the four boys in their own conversations. Sitting here, seeing them all talk to each other hurt too much.
Y/n: Hey 'Trick, pick me up from the hospital?
Pattycakes: Of course. Be there in five.
Thank god. I put my sketchbook back into my bag with my necessities that Gee had brought me as well as my pencil pouch. I aimlessly scrolled through Twitter until Patrick got here. A lot of people where wishing Mikey a speedy recovery. Time flies when you're on Twitter cause Patrick had just texted me telling him to meet him outside.
"I'm going over Patrick's. See ya." I said while walking out.
"Wait y/n." Gerard said grabbing for my wrist but I moved it away quicker. I kept on walking. I didn't want to talk to anyone but Patrick.
"Y/n." Gerard repeated, following me out of the room.
"Go away." I muttered, walking out the front door of the hospital.
"Y/n, please." He sounded like he was going to cry. I turned around to see a single tear falling. "It's not his fault he doesn't remember you."
"I know." I said, finally reaching Patrick's car. I reached for the handle but Gerard grabbed my hand.
"He loves you y/n."
"Does he?" I opened the door with my other hand and got in. I snatched my wrist back and shut the door. Patrick didn't say anything, but he started singing for me.
~Gerard's POV~
"Does he?" And with that, y/n disappeared into her brother's car and drove away.
"He does." I whispered. I walked back inside and to Mikey's room. They were all just staring at me while I stood in the door way.
"Mikey, you have to remember y/n." I began crying as I walked over to Mikey's bed.
"I'm sorry, but I don't."
"Mikey, you love y/n. You would die for her. She was everything to you. How can you not remember her?"
"It's not my fault Gerard." Mikey sounded frustrated.
I opened my phone to show him pictures of them. Luckily I had a whole album of photos to use against him of them. I clicked on it and onto the first one. I put the phone in Mikey's hand and scrolled for him.
"This one, you guys are at the arcade, holding hands." Mikey raised his eyebrows.
"When you refused to put her down at spun her around for like three minutes." Mikey chuckled. I looked at him with hopeful eyes.
"It just seems like something I'd do."
I rolled my eyes and swiped to the next thing which was a video. The video of y/n tickling Mikey until he let her go. When the part where she tickled him and slipped her hands into his back pocket came up, Mikey blushed in real life and I chuckled.
Then came the real show stopper.
Them kissing on top of the Ferris wheel.
I pressed play on the video. Mikey watched in confusion until the part where they kissed. Mikey's eyes went wide and glossy. He watched himself kiss the love of his life. A tear dripped down his cheek and onto his lap.
"Why are you crying?" I asked while wiping the streak off his face.
"I can't believe I don't remember this." Mikey cried. I feel so bad for him. He can't remember his own girlfriend.
"Has anything come back to you yet?" Frank asked nervously. Mikey shook his head regretfully.
"Is that why she was so upset?" He asked. I nodded my head, thinking of the sad y/n. "I feel like a horrible person.
"It's not your fault Mikes." I comforted him. He pulled me into a hug and cried into my shoulder. I let a few more of my tears drip on top of his head. Things will work out. I know they will. They have to..
~Y/n's POV~
Patrick let me spend the night in the guest room. I didn't want to go home and sleep in Mikey's bed. It just didn't feel right for some reason.
Tonight Patrick and I watched movies with the rest of his band. I rested my head on Patrick's shoulder the whole time. My whole body felt emotionally and physically drained. With how tired I felt, I couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts of Mikey kept my mind racing. Patrick kept glancing down at me worriedly. I don't care. Everyone can stare at me for all I care. It doesn't bother me anymore.
Pete had fallen asleep while stretched over Andy and Joe who had fallen asleep on each other. Patrick and I were still wide awake. His arm that was draped around my shoulder keeping me warm. I miss Mikey's comfort. I miss how he would hold me at night. I'll probably never feel that again. He probably thinks I'm just some crazy girl claiming to be his girlfriend.
"Y/n, you should go to bed." Patrick yawned. Maybe he isn't wide awake. I didn't say anything but I shifted slightly.
"Y/n. You need sleep. I doubt you've been sleeping much at the hospital. Please?"
"I'm not tired." I mumbled causing him to sigh.
"Will you at least lay down in a bed? You can stay up and sketch or work on songs." He suggested.
"Fine." I groaned. I stood up and stretch while letting out a questionable groan
"What was that?" Patrick chuckled.
"Not even sure." I stifled a laugh while walking up the steps to the guest room.
"Good night y/n. Love you."
"Love you too Patrick."
I opened up the door and shut it behind me. I didn't bother to turn on the light. The bed was calling my name but I wasn't tired. Pulling back the covers, I slid myself into the bed and stared at the black wall beside me.
And I cried.
Whats new?
I cried at the fact the my boyfriend remembers everything but me. I cried at the fact that I wasn't with him right now. I cried at the fact that my boyfriend is hurting from his accident. I cried for the fans who don't get to see us live. I cried for Gerard who has to see his brother in a hospital bed. I cried for Patrick who has to deal with me. I cried for Mikey.
I cried for Mikey and everything that's happened to him. I cried for Mikey to come hold me.
~~~
A night full of tossing and turning led to a night lacking of sleep. I don't think I got more than a blink of sleep. It's fine. I don't need it. I don't plan on getting out of bed today. My body won't allow it. It's drained to the point of not working. Just thinking of moving from my spot seemed exhausting. So today I refuse to get out of bed.
But fucking Patrick says other wise.
"Y/n for the fifth time, you can't stay in bed all day."
"Fuck off." I rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow. Patrick grumbled and ripped the pillow out from under my face. "FUCK OFF!" I yelled.
"He's never going to remember you if you aren't around to remind him."
"He doesn't want me around."
"He never said that."
I rolled around to face him. "He didn't have to."
"Y/n he may not remember it but he loves you. Somewhere in his brain, it's racing at the thought of you, but he just can't find that part. You need to help him."
Fuck. He makes a point.
"Get me coffee and I'll get up." I gave in. Patrick smiled and ruffled my hair.
"Yes ma'am." Patrick laughed. He walked out of the room leaving me alone to stare at the ceiling.
'He loves me' I kept repeating in my brain.
'He'll remember me'
'I'll make him'
'He doesn't love you'
'He'll never remember you'
'you can't make him'
Oh will you fuck off already. I'm not listening to you. Just fuck off.
Soon after, Patrick came in with two steaming mugs of coffee, one pressed against his lips. I sat up and took in the sent of fresh beans.
"You look exhausted." Patrick noticed. "Did you sleep last night?"
"Nope."
Patrick sighed.
"I couldn't" I defended myself. "I just need coffee and I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Patrick, when we were kids we stayed up sometimes for three days straight without sleep." I argued. He held up in hands in defeat.
"Okay, okay."
The two of us sat, silent. It was uncomfortable though. I felt safe in my older brother's presence. A few minutes of silence passed until Patrick stood up and patted my bed.
"Get dressed so I can take you up to the hospital."
"Okay." I sighed. Once he left and shut the door, I grabbed some clothes and went to take a shower. It's been a while since I've used a shower besides the one in the hospital. They aren't the biggest showers there.
After my shower, I got dressed in my faded blue skinny jeans and a Red Hot Chili Peppers band tee. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and zipped up my wind breaker. I slipped on my vans and grabbed my necessities bag. I practically take that most places now since I don't ever plan anything out.
I met Patrick downstairs who was sitting down at the counter eating a muffin.
"You ready?" He asked while throwing away the wrapper and remnants of the muffin. I nodded my head.
God I hope this goes well.