Sorry if I was late. Took a break. Now, ready for another Kara one? Here ya go!
A stormy day in Detroit. The android family had went shopping earlier and Alice could not stop bugging Kara to get the latest toys. Luther was away at the moment; probably destroying stuff with Ralph, and Alice didn't want to with the toys alone. So she asked Kara to come play with her. Big mistake...
Alice: Hey Kara..
Kara: -Is sitting on the couch, staring at nothing in particular-
Alice: Kara...
Kara: -Continues to stare into space-
Alice: Kara.....Kar...mom...mom...
Kara: -Vision has pierced the fabric of time and space- (That's some vision.)
Alice: Mommy...mommy...mum...mum...mother...
Kara: Gah! WHAT!?
Alice: Hi!
Kara: -Temperature has hit a new high-
Alice: Hey, wanna play a game?
Kara: F**K NO!
Alice: Well at least help me to open them.
Kara: -Stares into her soul-
Alice: -Makes cute face- Pleeeeaase.
Kara: Fine...-Grabs knife- let's go cut some sh*t.
They head upstairs to Alice's room, with was filled with glitter, dolls and a TV playing something that should not be labeled as a 'kid's show'.
Alice: Sorry, I skipped out on cleaning today.
Kara: Maybe you'd be able to clean up your room if you'd stop watching those damn work out shows all day.
Alice: -Sighs and picks up an animatronic Foxy toy- This one first!
Kara: -Accidentally sits on a lego- Well, that's not gonna come out for days.
-First toy-
Alice: Foxy! Foxy!
Kara: -Examines box- Ok, new FNAF Foxy toy, sings from a hearty list of shanties. Caution, do not put fingers in its mouth cause apparently, it will bite your sh*t.
Alice: -Waits in anticipation-
Kara: -Starts cutting into the box and accidentally cuts a finger off- SH*T!
-1 finger fatality later-
Kara: -Is struggling to get the toy out-
-1 FNAF theory later-
Kara: Ok! Finally!
Alice: Yay! -Watches Foxy sing and dance-
Kara: -Puts finger in its mouth and she loses another finger-
-Another finger fatality later-
Kara: -Stares at toy menacingly-
Alice: This mutha f**ka looks hungry, let's feed him. (Learning from Kara I see.)
Kara: -The Foxy starts screeching- Calm the f**k down.
Alice: -Attempts to put something in its mouth but jolts back when it snaps shut-
Kara: -Is sick of Foxy's sh*t-
Alice: -Puts her nose in its mouth and it bite her nose- F**king hell!
-1 nose fatality later-
Kara: -Keeps waving hand in front of toy as it keeps trying to bite her-
Alice: -Slaps Foxy away- Ok! Let's play with another one!
-2nd toy-
Kara: Ok! -Pulls out a Tractor toy- The sh*t you be asking me to buy...its ridiculous.
Alice: The toys you be buying are ridiculous too.
Kara: SHUT YER MOUTH! -Pulls out knife- Anyways, lets take a stab at this, shall we? Huh? HUH?
Alice: You're not funny...
Kara: Your mom isn't very funny either. Wait....
-1 skip later-
Alice: -Waits so patiently, she has slowed down time-
Kara: -Is trying to pull wires off Tractor toy- Ok...the lengths the companies go through just to protect their toys is...-Struggles more- F**K!
-1 stupid truck-looking thing later-
Kara: Ok! There you have it! -Watches the say random quotes and noises-
Alice: Uh..what did it say?
Kara: It would seem that we cannot understand what the f**k it is saying because the mechanical sh*ts keep on making noise.
Alice: -Struggles to make the Tractor lift up its scooper, the scooper keeps falling down- STAY THE F**K UP!
-2 stupid truck-looking things later-
Alice: -Gets closer to hear it speak- I think it just said something about it 'loves it'. B**CH! THIS IS NOT MCDONALD'S!
Kara: -Reads box- Toby the tractor can scoop up any sh*t and eats...wait. It eats?
Alice: -Examines tractor- How do you...? -Shoves knife into its mouth, it breaks the knife-
Kara: THAT MOUTH THOUGH! (Kara, just don't -_-')
Alice: -Throws toy out the room- Ok.. next!
-3rd toy-
Kara: Here we have a uh...-reads box- Egg Surprise.
Alice: This was Luther's choice for some reason.
Kara: You better play with this thing, apparently there was a sale for this thing a Walmart and a human almost gutted me for it. I might press charges. Hmm....~ -Thinks about Connor for some reason-
Alice: -Waited so much she has become a shooting star- (She's a star child now. Lol)
Kara: -Is struggling to cut the box open- Ok, parents should be advised, that the companies don't want you to F**KING GET-
-1 cardboard homicide later-
Kara: And there you have it.
Alice: -Takes out egg and stares into it, its eyes glow- Um...I...don't think its eyes are supposed to glow as if it were possessed by Satan.
Kara: That just means it likes you.
Alice: -The egg makes some questionable noises- It sounds like its doing something inside that I should not discuss as a kid.
Kara: Uh....
Alice: But it sounds like Kara and Luther on Saturday nights. -Toy makes more noises- It agrees.
Kara: F**K YOU!
Alice: -Noises get louder- Ok this mutha f**ka is definitely doing something weird in this egg. Let's find out!
Kara: For what? Nothing I've never seen before.
Alice: I know. -Bashes egg open to reveal a toy bear-
Kara: -Listens to the toy bear coo happily-....... (It's a toy and bear. What else did you expect?)
Alice:......-Weakly speaks- tada......
Kara: -Stares into its eyes, she sees the pits of hell open up to swallow her whole-
Alice: -Swats bear away- Next!
-4th toy-
Kara: Ok...last toy. A Dancing Parrot?
Alice: You picked that one up.
Kara: Cause I was not giving you the Trump Wall set. (Why would someone sell that!?)
Alice: BUT IT WAS SO COOOL!
Kara: TOO BAD! -Starts ripping into box-
-1 cardboard massacre later-
Kara: Ok...I ending up cutting my own sh*t. -Hand in bleeding- But at least we got it open.
Alice: I heard it repeats- -Toy makes noise- SHUT YOUR B**CH ASS UP!
Parrot: SHUT YOUR B**CH ASS UP!
Kara:....
Alice:.....I love it!
Parrot: I love it!
Alice: -Gigges-
Kara: I CAN'T YO LITTLE B**CH ASS!
Parrot: I CAN'T STAND YO LITTLE B**CH ASS!
Kara: -Presses button on toy and it starts playing music and dancing-
Alice: -Starts dabbing- (-Dabs with her-)
Kara: I could get used to this.
-1 Quan hit later-
Kara: See? I told-
Parrot: See? I told...
Kara:....I told you it wouldn't be-
Parrot: I told you it wouldn't be....
Kara: See now you're pissing me off.
Parrot: Hail Satan. (0.0')
Alice:....-Stares at in confused-
Kara:....-Stares at it in surprise- Alice, could you please...?
Alice: On it. -Swats toy parrot across the room-
-5th toy-
Kara: Ok...last toy. Oh! Here's something more your level, a Real Life Babe! -Mumbles- As if I need more brats.
Alice: As if we need more of h*es. (Blame Luther for that one.)
Kara: Now, uh...-Stares at the almost unbreakable box-
Alice: -Has sat so still she has become the ultimate being-
Kara: -Grabs mini chainsaw- Cause you must make sure to have the right tools to free this little B**-
-2 cardboard massacres later-
Kara: Ok..now we have now freed Kara jr.
Alice: I thought you didn't want anymore kids?
Kara: No, this is your replacement. -Tries to put pacifier into the doll's mouth and fails-
Alice: Isn't it supposed to move?
Kara: -Checks doll to notice battery compartment- F**k...
-1 crappy trip to the store later-
Kara comes back home, soaked head to toe from the rain, Alice just laughs her ass off.
Alice: If Luther were here he would say-
Kara: NOTHING! -Throws batteries at her head-
Alice: -KO'd- (Damn Kara.)
Kara: -Puts batteries in, upset- Hey Alice, how many batteries does it take for you to leave me the f**k alone for a few hours?
Alice: -Suddenly wakes up- Hm?
Kara: Let's see...1! -Shoves batteries into toy-
-15 batteries later-
Kara: Finally! Here we have it.
Alice: -Cradles doll- We should feed her!
Kara: Now, I know we should probably give her milk or something, but f**k that. This is an android child, she gets thirium.
Alice: -Tries to make doll drink thirium, but bottle keeps falling- F**k!
-1 bad parent later-
Kara: This is not how anyone should feed a real baby. (No shite.)
Alice: -Is holding baby upside down and shaking it- YOU GONNA DRINK THAT BLOOD! IT'S A 100% LICKED AND A APPROVED!
-2 bad parents later-
Kara: -Checks diaper- Ok, changing time, it feels a little wet.
Alice: Like you Kara? -Giggles childishly-
Kara: I MEANT THE DIAPER! WHAT IS LUTHER TEACHING YOU!?
-3 bad parents later-
Kara: Alright...uh...-The pee on the diaper is blue-
Alice: Maybe from the drink? -Stares at it confused-
Kara: I'm hoping it's from the drink. Thank god we didn't use human blood.
Alice: -Gets ready to slap it away but is stopped by Kara-
Kara: I'll do it. -Slaps doll into trash- (Good idea. -_-)
-1 toy fest later-
Kara and Alice sit on the couch, staring at space, waiting for Luther to come home.Both bored and confused. They vowed never to buy any toys from Walmart again.
Alice: Hey, Kara?
Kara: Yes Alice?
Alice: Where did the Dancing Parrot go?
Kara: I'm not sure hun.
Alice: And the Egg Surprise bear is missing too. -The light suddenly go out- (Uh oh...)
Kara: Are you familiar with Five Nights At Freddy's?
THE END
There you have it folks! Feel free to comment and smash that star button! Until next time!