Omniscient
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'I'm scared to let go' Devante thought to himself. I think if I let her completely out of my life, she would forget me. The truth was, I just didn't want nobody else taking my place. Her heart is mine! She can't just forget me like I don't exist.. right? She won't just replace me...right? I mean we shared so many memories together. She suppose to think about me and ONLY me, I don't give a fuck if were no longer an item. My selfishness would make me second guess myself. Was I ready to risk it all and give her up for somebody else? Hell naw!
The worst feeling is I don't wanna give up on her but I know I have to. Scary part is I knew exactly how bad I was for her and yet that didn't stop me from luring her in and challenging myself to love her the right way.
If she treated me the way I treated her, I honestly would've hated her but it was the total opposite. I chased this girl for months until she finally gave in just to treat her like shit. When she caught on to what type of person I was, it's like I transferred some of that negative energy into her. We drove each other crazy, literally.
We still are.
"Naw fuck that" Devante said to himself as he sat locked up in his studio "She just as crazy as me!" He Said out loud "She wasn't all that innocent, she cursed me out, did some sneaky shit and put her hands on me too!" He snickered shaking his head "I guess we both toxic, it is what it is"
"No! You made her that way!" His subconscious corrected him.
Throwing the bottle of liquor to the ground he got up furious. Thinking about this just made him even more mad. Maybe if they ended things from jump, he wouldn't be in this situation right now. Everybody pointed fingers at him! Everyone blamed him! They all started label him as mentally ill. He was far from that though, dealing with crazy shit on his own had taken a tow on him.
He quickly wiped the tear that fell "I'll just kill myself, then nobody would have to deal with me" He said his thought out loud. Seconds later his phone went off. He knew exactly who it was before answering. He watched it ring deciding if she even answer or not.
'She cares, she really does. After all the shit we been through, she still care. I know she still wish the best for me' He thought.
She still Loves me, hopefully.
He finally answered the phone and sighed "Hello?..."