Ello !
So.. obv . I've been workin on this story a tad more than I have been on my other story, Don't Speak. Don't worry. I will get back to that soon-ish. lol
Buuuut I started school.. Gay I know. No offense to gay guys. Aneeway. Apparently Junior year is the hardest. shit right? And I'm soon realizing that the rumors are fucking true. o.o
So uploading everyday... Not gonna happen.
yeee... so.... grr.
I got someage time right now,
here is thee next part.
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And of course for DEE; VonCreep666 :]
We pulled up to my house. I could sense her hesitation to get out of the car.
The way she just looked at the house, staring, told me she was nervous. When she turned her face toward me, the look, told me she was guarding herself. From me, I'm assuming. Probably scared I would freak out and hate her again.
Would I? No. I've already decided. This is what I wanted. I've spent to long fighting with myself about it. Now it was time to give in.
I turned off the car. The silence was overwhelming. Unnerving. The only noise was our soft breathing. Our breathes were in sync with each other.
"So..." I tried breaking the silence. "Do you want to come in?" I asked her hesitantly, waiting for her answer.
"What about your parents?" She asked. The question made me laugh at first. What about my parents? But after I thought about it I realized what a logical question it was. Any human would have asked.
"I live by myself." I answered simply.
"What?" She turned to me shocked. Obviously it was out of the ordinary for a person our age to live on their own. Not for me. I was so thankful when I was able to get away from my father.
"Are you coming in or what?" I asked changing the subject and opening the car door.
Without replying she opened her door eying my house the whole time as if it was haunted. Slowly she closed her door and walked behind me up to the porch.
I pulled out my key and unlocked it, stepping into the house.
She stood there not entering, just looking.
"What's wrong?" I asked. The way she was looking at my house, as if she was debating what to do. Like just this one move would change her life forever.
She looked up at me. Her eyes told me that she had forgotten what she was doing.
Pink spread over her face with embarrassment.
I put a small smile on my face, silently letting her know that it was okay. She took a deep breath. I held out my hand to her.
She looked at it for a moment or two before slowly lifting her small fragile hand to mine and grasping it.
With one step at a time, she stepped over the threshold.
When she was finally in the door she let out a breath she had been holding. I laughed a little on the inside. Why was she so afraid? She didn't know what I was. Even if she did she wouldn't have any reason to be afraid. I would never hurt her.
"I'm going to go put a t-shirt on, I'll be right back. You can make yourself comfortable." I pointed to the living room.
She nodded and headed that way as I went back to my room.
I shut my door behind me leaning against it. I took a deep breath.
After a moment of gathering my thoughts I went over to my closet and grabbed a white t-shirt from the hanger.
I lifted my shirt off of my body.
I glanced at myself in the mirror.
Almost the whole front half of my upper body was covered in death symbols. All that was left was my neck. With each breath I took each of them expanded and shrank. How long would it be until I was covered. The only place that didn't get any markings was our faces. For some reason. I'm not sure why.
My father, there was not an inch of his body that didn't have a symbol. I remember being amazed when ever I saw him with his shirt off.
Looking in the mirror now, I'm realizing that him and I aren't that different.
I watched as my face transformed into a scowl. No. My father and I are nothing alike.
"Dee?" A small voice asked. It came from behind me. I saw her in the mirrors reflection. I had been so deep in thought, I hadn't heard her come in.
I turned towards her.
She had taken her sweat shirt off and now was wearing a tight white tank top with her dark jeans. I couldn't help but stare for a moment.
I was quickly broken out of my trance when I realized her face was full of shock. My eyebrows scrunched together, wonder why she had that look on her face.
It was then that I realized I still didn't have my shirt on.
"Shit. Sorry." I made a move to put my shirt on, but a small hand grasped my forearm.
I froze.
"Wait." She said quietly, looking at my chest.
I suddenly felt self-conscious. Awkward and embarrassed that she was seeing me like this. Seeing all of these marking that made me what I am, I didn't want her to see these. She didn't understand what they meant but it didn't matter. I knew and under her gaze I felt like a monster.
If she knew, she would think I was a monster to.
Slowly and hesitantly, I lowered my arms and let her look.
I could feel her eyes scan over every one of them. All I could do was watch her. Her face full of concentration and awe.
She slowly reached her hand out but stopped as she was about to touch me. Her face pulled up from my body to my eyes.
"May I?" She asked staring into my eyes.
I looked away from her intense gaze and cleared my throat. "Yeah." I nearly whispered.
I was almost afraid to have her touch me. I had never been scared of anything in my life. I laughed to myself. What the fuck was wrong with me? I wiped those thoughts from my mind and straightened up, trying to look as if the fact that she was about to touch my bare chest that was covered in death symbols didn't bother me. I was trying to look unfazed.
My completely cool facade quickly diminished when her cool fingers lightly touched me.
My body immediately got hot and my breathing started to pick up. It was loud and rough sounding and I echoed through the room. The only sound resonating of the walls.
I tried to concentrate on something, anything else. It was impossible. It was like the only thing that mattered right now was her small fingers tracing over ech one of the markings on my skin.
I'm usually so proud of these symbols. No one in my world that is my age has as many as I do. I was the best and these proved it.
But as I stood in front of her now, her eyes appraising me and her fingers exploring, I felt ashamed.
I suddenly was in need of her approval, but I knew I would never get it if she knew what I really was.
Her fingers still worked over my chest.
I know she could tell how hard I was breathing. But I wondered if she knew how much she was affecting me right now. I wondered what was going through her head right now.
I didn't have to wonder long, "They are beautiful." She whispered. Her eyes and fingers transfixed on a crescent shaped symbol on my abdomen.
At that moment a rush of feelings overwhelmed me. I couldn't breath. I had never felt anything before. I pushed it all back. Everything.
Now it came rushing back and I couldn't take it.
I quickly reached my hand up to hers to stop it from moving any more. She looked up at me, her face slightly shocked and embarrassed.
"Stop." I whispered.
Her eyes searched mine.
"I'm so--"
I didn't hear the rest because I quickly put my shirt back on as I walked around her and out of my door. I needed to get out of that room. I needed to breath
I walked past my living room and into my kitchen. I reached into the cupboard and pulled out my tea kettle. I loved tea. I relaxed me. I needed that right now.
I heard footsteps enter the kitchen as I was filling up the kettle with water.
"Dee, I'm sorry." She said quietly. She had nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't her fault. I was whack.
Messed up in the head, or at least she probably thought so.
"Do you want some tea?" I asked her, changing the subject. Wanting to forget whatever just happened in my room.
"Sure." She sighed, giving up.
I quickly made both of us a cup of tea and lead her to the living room.
Dropping on to the couch she sat down beside me, but not close enough to touch me. I think she was scared to now. Scared that I didn't want her to.
Part of me wanted her to touch me again, but the other part of me, the angel of death part, was scared to have her come near me. I didn't want those feelings coming back to me. Not after I worked so hard my whole life to get rid of them.
"I should probably leave." She said moving her self and getting up.
"No." I said a little to quickly. She stopped. I looked down and hesitated. "I'm sorry I acted like that. This has never happened to me before." I confessed.
"What hasn't?" She asked, looking at me confused.
Without answering I picked up her hand from her lap and placed it on my chest, right over where my heart would be.
I knew she could feel it. Hell I thought it was going to pound through my heart cavity, rip through my lungs, ribs, skin and on to the floor. Before this it was so easy to forget that I even had a damn heart.
When my father told me that because of who my mother was, I had a heart, I grabbed the nearest sharpest thing I could find and began to dig it out. I didn't want it. Fuck it.
But my father pulled me back and told me to stop. To control it and to forget it. I wonder if she felt the scar I still had when she was tracing the marks.
I looked out the window. The sun was low. Sinking. Slowly becoming night time. It wasn't late. Maybe four or five.
"Well what do you want to do?" She asked removing her hand from my chest.
"Do you like movies?" I smiled trying to release some of the tension.
She took a deep breath of relief, "I love movies."
We sat there on the couch for hours watching countless movies. Sitting close, but never touching.
It wasn't until she said something that I realized how late it was.
"Holy shit, I have to get home. My mom is going to kill me." She said scrabbling to get up.
I got up after her and led her to the door. We paused.
If this were a date I would kiss her now.
"I had a good time today. Thanks." She said, looking up and smiling at me and opening the door to leave.
As she walked down the drive way to her car I watched her, standing in my door way. She stood next to her car door and took out her keys.
She looked up and smiled at me. Our eyes locking for the slightest moment. I couldn't help myself.
Within seconds I was right behind her. Watching as she shook and struggled to unlock the door because it was so cold out.
I placed my hands on her waist. She screamed.
"Fuck! Why would you do that to me?" She asked her back pressed up against the car.
"You did it." I said walking up to her so that our bodies were touching.
I placed my hands on the car on either side of her. "Did what?" She whispered looking at me, her eyes glazing over as I leaned my face down to hers.
I was a mere inch from her lips, her eyes were closed. Waiting. "Broke me." I whispered and pressed my lips to hers.
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