It's time to leave London. After a teary goodbye to Tom and Haz's family and a mediocre goodbye to mine, Tom, Haz and I clamber in.
I stare out the window of the plane and get lost in my thoughts. I am so happy right now. So what if the note changes everything? I bite the insides of my cheeks anxiously.
Tom leans over me to look at the window, "what're you thinking about, love?"
I turn to look at him and see that Haz is asleep. We've still got a couple of hours to go.
"Reading the note," I press my lips together.
He raises his eyebrows in shock, "the one from your brother?"
I nod solemnly and turn my head, but he catches the look on my face.
"Let me in your brain," he says, cupping my face in his hands, "what is making you hesitate?"
"What about it isn't making me hesitate?" I laugh it off.
He eyes my carry-on bag, "is it in there?"
I nod and pull it out, running my fingers over the creased envelope.
"You read it, I'll be right next to you the whole time, okay?" he places his hand on top of mine comfortingly.
I shut my eyes and sigh. I turn to his big brown eyes. Just looking at him is reassuring.
"What if this changes everything?" my heart rate accelerates.
He smiles soothingly, "I promise you, if it does change everything, it won't change us."
I rest my head on his shoulder, "I'll take your word for it."
He kisses the top of my head and we stay like that for a moment. Me, resting my head on his Corinna's-head-shaped shoulder and him leaning his head back on mine. Our hands are entangled. Together, we are a complete jigsaw puzzle.
"Okay," I sigh, "I'm ready."
He smiles proudly at me and I open the envelope. I take a deep, deep breath and slowly pull the letter out. I unfold it carefully and gulp.
Dear Rina, I look up at Tom who gives me a reassuring look.
Dear Rina,
I am so sorry. I am so sorry for leaving you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I am so sorry for what I have not done. I am sorry for disappointing you, for letting you down.
Rina, I don't want this to go public to our whole family. I want you to be the only one to know. You do what you wish with this information. It's the only thing I can do.
Rina. I'm sure you're familiar with the one night you were drunk as hell and your killer hangover. You vowed you would never drink more than one shot again. You said you felt like shit. There was more than just the reason you got drunk that you felt like shit.
You are aware Xavier was with us that night. I hate that guy, Rina. You can do so much better than him. I hope you don't stay with him. Please, don't. You being the smart girl you are, you'll want nothing to do with him after you finish.
You were getting super drunk. So drunk, I tried to convince Xavier to take you home now. But he didn't, not yet. He said he will. You were completely passed out. I could've stopped him, took you home myself! He definitely didn't have good intentions. But I didn't... he took you to the men's bathroom. I wondered what on earth he was doing with you. Maybe he was cleaning you up?
About ten minutes passed. Too long. I walk into the bathroom. It was locked. I knocked down the door. Rina, my baby sister. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Xavier was... he was raping you. You were out cold. I couldn't believe what I saw.
I shut the door again. Rina I shut the freaking door. I knew what he was doing to you and I let him. I don't know what went through me. I just did it. I'm such an idiot. I'm a jerk. Worst big brother.
I would've called the police, but Xavier knew some other things about me. I've... done dirty things, Rina. And considering my past, going to jail seemed to hurt more people then telling the truth. But Rina, now I see it doesn't. So I'm taking my own life. The guilt is unbearable, Rina, I'm an ass. I can't believe I did it. I'm so sorry. I let you down.
I love you.
I drop the note in shock and I begin to tremble.
"Rina?" Tom says worriedly, "what's wrong? What did it say?"
I can't speak. That pig raped me. He raped me. I bury my face into Tom's shoulder and cry. He wraps me into him, but doesn't push the subject. He knows I'm too hurt to speak.
Xavier raped me.
And my own brother protected him.