"Hey, watch it!"
"Sorry!"
"Bitch."
Ignoring the insult that was just thrown at me, I continue to push my way through the crowd of people. The corners of my lips curl up into a bright smile as soon as I find myself outside. The fresh air is blowing through my long and wavy hair with a soft breeze, the sunlight so bright it is nearly blinding me.
I did it. I survived the last day of school. No more infuriating teachers and kids for the upcoming weeks. I have hated school for as long as I can remember and the stuff they try to teach us just all seems so pointless. I mean, I will not need most of it in my future.
Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I start to walk. Fortunately for me, home is not too far away from the school. I could go with the bike, but I prefer to walk. I quite enjoy walking as it helps me clear my mind. But I'm not planning on going home, not yet.
****
The waves softly hit the shore, the sunlight shining down upon my pale face and a soft, yet slightly cool breeze is blowing through my brown hair. A smile is tugging at the end of my lips as I take in and admire the view. Currently, I am sitting under a great tree at the treeline, only mere inches away from where the sand replaces the grass. The sand feels warm, soft and there is a large, beautiful lake in front of me. It is a remote lake in the wooded English countryside.
I spend most of my time in these woods and at this lake. I visit this place nearly every single day. Sometimes I even come out here when it's raining. Unlike the majority of people, I am quite fond of the rain. I love that glorious, musty aroma that lingers around after the heavens open on a hot day. Though I must admit that I, myself, prefer cooler temperatures. Also, this is a gated community, so it's really quiet out here, which I personally enjoy.
The only ones that come here aside from me is a twelve year old boy named Adam, who always seems to be collecting caterpillars out in the woods and some other kids my age. But they are loud, ill-mannered and bully and terrorize everyone on their path. Unfortunately for me, I happen to live in the same neighborhood as them, though I try my very best to avoid them as much as I possibly can.
I'm not really that social, although I try to be at times. I'm pretty shy, anxious and a little awkward, which is something that I hate about myself. Often I spend my time wishing that I had a bit more self- confidence, only to remember that I never really had any. But I try to remind myself that at least I can be alone. I don't need to constantly be surrounded by people to even be able to function.
I lean my back against the tree I am currently sitting under, running my hand through the grass. I look up at the sky, seeing a few birds fly above me. The sky is a bright blue and completely free of clouds. Sunlight is shining through the branches of the trees and the leaves, giving the forest a magical look. The sounds of the birds chirping happily reach my ears, causing me to smile to myself.
I move my gaze towards the ground and look at the little, white and purple flowers that are hidden within the field of grass all around me. This place has never failed to amaze me. It is absolutely gorgeous in every single way. I play around with a flower that I have plucked from out of the ground, savouring the silence.
My mind is starting to calm down a bit as I focus on the sounds of that of the wind rustling through the leaves and the singing of the birds. Closing my eyes, I try to block out every sound around me and for a moment it works. That is, until I hear loud voices coming from somewhere in the distance. Meaning that my moment of being alone has come to an end.
I immediately sit up straight as I recognize the voices that belong to some of the boys from the 'gang'. My palms begin to sweat a little and I gulp in fear as I see four of the boys step out onto the beach. I stand up quietly, careful not to make any noise, wanting to leave unnoticed. But it's too late. I take a quick look in their direction to see them making their way over towards me. I want to move desperately, but it is like I am glued to the spot and all I can do is watch as they come closer with every step they take.
"What the hell are you doing here, Maysa?" Brett stops in front of me, shoving me backwards, "get the fuck out of here, you little shit."
I stay silent as I stumble backwards, trying to regain my balance, feeling too afraid to speak or even look at him. Brett is considered the leader of the 'gang' and he always wants to control everything and feel dominant and superior to everyone.
"What? Are you mute now?" He turns towards his friends, who are standing a little behind him, all of them laughing loud.
"I- I-" my voice fails me as I try to speak, panic starting to rise within me upon realizing how afraid I must look to them. Not knowing how to handle the situation without making myself look like a complete fool, I whirl around in order to rush away from them and leave the beach. But before I've even fully turned around, I feel a hand grabbing onto one of my shoulders. I'm turned around roughly and come face to face with Brett. I start to rapidly blink my eyes to keep the threatening tears from falling, as he digs his fingers into my skin, nearly causing me to yelp in pain.
"You really thought you could get away from us that easy?" He has a sick grin spread across his face and I shrink.
"P- please, let go of me.." My voice once again trembles when I speak, giving away how terrified I'm actually feeling. Surprisingly, he lets go of my shoulders, "off you go then."
His words catch me off guard and I hesitantly turn around, not believing for one second that they will actually let me get away from them so easily. Despite knowing they won't let me off the hook, I start walking away fast, only to trip and fall onto the sand as Ricky lets me stumble. The sound of laughter fills the air as I pick myself off of the ground and wipe the sand off of my clothes, tears brimming in my eyes. The four boys stand around me and I rush past them in a hurry, not daring to spare any of them a glance, my face heating up in embarrassment.
Without looking behind, I rush off of the beach and disappear into the trees, my heart beating fast in fear that they might be following me. When I realize they don't, I finally convince myself to look back at the beach, which is still visible from where I am located.
I see Brett, Ricky and Cooper goofing around, as I see Harry looking in my direction. It almost looks like he is sending me an apologetic smile, before he turns his attention back to his friends. Turning my back towards them, I shrug it off, silently convincing myself that it was nothing but a fragment of my own imagination. I hurry off deeper into the forest, starting to walk back home.
I am a little further away from the beach now, but can still hear the boys laugh and shout in the distance.
Ricky is the eldest, being nineteen years old. Brett and Mark are both eighteen, Cooper is sixteen, Harry and Paige (the only female member of the group) are seventeen, as am I.
I stop walking when I spot Adam in the distance, who is sitting on the ground. He is holding a jar of glass in his hands, a caterpillar crawling around inside of it. "Stay away from the beach." I warn him, causing him to look up at me.
He simply nods his head in return, letting me know he has heard me and understands. I never really speak much to him, but I've noticed that he also is being bullied by them quite frequently.
A soft sigh escapes from between my lips as I continue to go on my way, still having to cover a lot of ground before I'll reach my home, where I live with my mother. My mother is very polite and gregarious, because unlike me, she loves spending time with other people. She is the only one I have since my father has passed away when I was only three years old. I only know him from pictures and stories my mother used to tell me about him. According to her, he was a very friendly and generous person. She would always tell me that he had a 'magic' effect that made people like him.
****
My mother's voice echoes from the kitchen before I've even closed the door behind me, "you're just in time for dinner."
A smile finds its way onto my face as I walk into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. She places a plate of lasagna in front of me, before sitting down across from me. "You're out a lot these days, didn't know this village could be that interesting?" She laughs, taking a bite.
I chuckle, "it isn't really, I'm just really starting to enjoy spending time outside." I say, not mentioning the woods or the lake, since no one is supposed to actually go there.
After I finish dinner, I go straight up to my room. I stand in front of the mirror after I have changed into my pyjamas, my smile now gone. My mother always tells me to smile and be happy. But it is starting to drain my energy. She thinks I'm a very happy person, which is a completely different story in reality. Yet, I refuse to let her know otherwise.
I don't really know why, but as I continue to stare at my reflection in the mirror, I curve my pointer fingers. I slowly put them into my mouth and force a stretched out smile on my face. I continue to stare at myself, starting to feel crazy. Sighing in defeat, I let myself fall onto the bed and cover myself with a blanket. I close my eyes and after tossing and turning for some time, I finally allow my muscles to relax. I slowly feel myself starting to drift off to sleep, only one thought crossing my mind; I'll either become stronger, or they will break me into nothing.