Excruciatingly Correct Behavi...

By clarady

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Don't be forward when interested
Stay properly attired at all times
Always cover your mouth when you yawn
Still wagging tongues with impeachable decorum
To avoid scandal, have a chaperone at all times
"Please" and "Thank you"
Kneel before the king
Never show your emotions
Elocution is necessary -- especially in a crowd
Better to be a mystery than an open book
One simply cannot discourse without an introduction
Heathen-like, wild behavior is improper
Duelist's challenges are acts of honor
White lies are still deceit
Lorgnettes are for use at a opera only
Be sure to always step around puddles
Never speak in an inappropriate tone
Make sure the safety is on until it isn't
"And so he said unto the world"
No utensil should ever be heaped with food
Florid speech a politician does make
Shady corners promote bad behavior
One does not wear white tie to a brunch
Interruptions bring shame to all
Much can be said with no words
Miss Mary, never Mrs.
For a basic rib knit one, purl one
The thrill is in the chase
One hand should always cover the lid of a teapot
Never give money to panhandlers
Choosers aren't beggars
Obey the law -- proven or not
Be polite to locals
Bloomers are hung on a line in the shade
The silent treatment indicates social downfall
Cakes are always handed to the eldest lady first
Smile in all wedding photos
A home is never empty
Never say "Goodbye", only "'Til next time"
You should never call after nine in the evening
Mercy is the sign of a great man

Money is never up for discussion -- it's strictly personal

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By clarady

I'd like to formally apologize to the Beatles. I love you guys, but love doesn't make the world go 'round. Money does. 

Can you imagine a world where money wasn’t involved? There goes commerce. And most kinds of trade. Nothing international would even really be possible. We’d be left with that archaic principle “exchanges”. You know, I give you ten camels and you give me your hot cousin. Win-win, right? I mean, I take that troublesome cousin off your hands and you get awesome camels. Who wouldn’t want camels? A crazy person, that’s who.

Trouble is, this doesn’t really work on Wattpad. I mean, have you guys even seen the madness that is the “Find a Critic” thread? It’s riddled with “payments” like a critique is a chore and all critics are petulant children.

Now, I have to admit that not so long ago I was a petulant child.

I thought that if I asked someone to critique my work as payment, I could get insight into whether or not my stories had artistic merit. Because I honestly wasn’t sure. I mean, we’re talking about a totally unartistic science kid writing stories. That just sounds worrisome. And it did worry me. So I did a “bilateral critique” exchange.

Result? Bad idea. Don’t do it.

Essentially, I got a whole lot of people telling me that my writing looked okay but my story was not “their thing”. And that’s it. I ended up with no idea whether or not my idea had merit, my writing needed improvement or how to improve in anyway. It was a real waste of time because I didn’t get what I needed to feel confident about my writing (honest comments that I could use to improve) and I laboured over stories which I frankly didn’t want to just because someone had left a “critique” on one of my stories.

This is why I honestly believe that critiques should be free. Payments lock the critic and the author in an unspoken contract. And it really sucks when someone doesn’t complete the “payment” after you laboured over their story and stupidly sent the critique off to them. I mean, that’s hours of work for someone without the payment that you expected. Fraud much?

By having free critiques, both the critic and the author are protected. The critic has no expectation of silly payments that don’t always help while the author can check out the critic’s stuff without feeling obligated to read something that doesn’t interest them.  Besides, a critique is a labour of love and should be pleasurable for the critic (most of the time. There are always exceptions). And because it’s free, the critic can deny requests with impunity for whatever reason.

So free them critiques! Vive la revolution!

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