Listen to: Vagabond by Misterwives
Epilogue
I walked up to the loft pulling the doors open. Isaac and my dad are giving me a choice, either stay with Melissa or go with them to France.
Derek sees me and smiles. I smile back but it's a sad smile.
“You here to say goodbye?” He asks.
“No, I'm here to ask your advice.” He nods. He goes and sits on the couch. I sit next to him my back pressing against the arm of it and my legs in Derek's lap. His hand on my thigh.
“You know my dad and Isaac are going to France, right?” He nods.
“I get a choice. To stay or to go. I want you to tell me what you think I should do.”
“Don't you think my opinion is gonna be slightly bias?” He questions.
“Yeah, but I know you want to do what's best for me. So what should I do?” He lets out a breath.
“I don't want you to go. But if you need to go. I think you should.” I nod.
“If I do go. I won't make you wait. You can be with someone else. Someone stronger, someone that will make you happy. I just don't think I can enough anymore.” I look down at my hands clasped together.
“What if you're the only one that makes me happy?” I dare to look into his eyes tears threathing to fall.
“You could find someone a lot better than me. I won't make you hold on for me. I'm not really worth it.”
“Emilly I don't want you to ever say that again. I don't say I love you often and when I say it. It's not something I say or take lightly. Emily, I don't care what happens. I can wait, because I love you and I don't think I love anyone the way I love you.”
“Derek, I'm trying to break up with you.” I say tears swelling in my eyes my voice cracks.
"It's okay, becuase I know that if you go and come back it will be like we never stopped. Because high school's only one more year right?" He unclasps my hands and holds one of them in his.
“I don't want to just pick up my life and leave but how do I stay here? I have no family. It hurts everyday. Thinking about Allison and Aiden. How did you make it stop?”
“Em, there are people here who love you. Nobody wants you to leave. What do you mean make what stop?”
“After what happened to Laura, how did it stop hurting?”
“You want the truth?” I nod.
“You did. You were the only one that believed me and the only person I trusted. You helped me by just trusting me and being there. Being close to me when I pushed you away so hard, just letting me know that I wasn't as hopless as I thought. I don't want you to go. But I can respect your choice.”
“I don't think I can. I want to stay. I want to be here with you. I just don't want to think about what happened to them anymore. I lost Allison. Nothing will be okay anymore.” My voice starts cracking and tears start falling down my face. Derek brushes them away.
“Allison would want you to be happy. That's all I want. So where ever you need to be or to go. I'll be okay with it.”
I think about everything that has happened. It left me broken inside. But Derek's right. I need to be where I can be happy and have my life go back to normal. If that's even possible I think that only place is here. It's where the person I love is, it's where my friend are. I can't just leave. I move closer to Derek resting my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me lightly running his hand up and down my arm.
“Beacon Hills is my home. I can't leave it.”
I made my decision to stay so the day Isaac and my dad left, I went to say goodbye. They both had their bags. I packed some bags from my room, since I will be staying at the McCall's. I put everything in boxes. I grab the picture frames off my desk and sit on my bed. I look at them. One is of Allison and I. The other of Stiles, Scott and I with our arms around each other. Another of Derek and I. I let out a sigh. Things will never be the same. A knock on my door gets my attention. I look up.
It's Isaac. “Do you need help packing before we go?” He asks. I let out a sigh.
“No, I'm good. Thanks.” He nods.
“We're gonna go.” He said while pointing behind him to the door. “Okay.” I get up and hug him. He hugs me back. I pat him on the back and pull back. He smiles but it's a sad smile.
“Isaac, be happy okay? Just do that.” I pat his shoulder and give him a small smile.
“You too.” He walks out the door. "Hey." I call he turns back around.
"You are one hell of friend." He smiles
"You too."
I put the picture frames in a box. I hear another knock on my door. I look up expecting Dad or Isaac, But it's Derek.
“Hey, I just thought you might want some help moving to Scott's.” I nod and manage a smile. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his torso putting my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me.
“I'm glad you're here.” I mutter. I pull back. He helps me grab stuff and bring it down to the car. Derek comes back and picks up my cross bow actually the same one I aimed at him. Not a pleasant memory.
“You want me to grab this?” I open my mouth to say something but my mouth goes dry. I can't swallow. He notices my reaction.
“I'll just put it down.”
“No, it's just... I don't think I can use it anymore.”
“Why?”
“It was the weapon I shared with my sister. She's not here anymore.” He nods.
“I'm sorry. That was stupid.” He says apologetically.
“No, it's just Allison said it was gonna be okay. Aiden said the same thing. But I think they're both wrong.”
He walks over to me and he claps hands around my lower back.
“It will be okay. Maybe not now. But it will. I promise.”
“Don't make promises you can't keep.”
“Well, I plan on keeping it.” I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. He kisses me back. I pull back.
“Thank you.” I whisper. He smiles. I grab the last remaining objects in my room and walk out with Dad and Isaac. Isaac goes out but Dad stays for a minute to say bye.
I hug him tightly and he hugs me just as tightly. “I love you Dad.” I say tears already falling down my face.
“I love you too baby. Take you own advice okay. Be happy. I need you to be strong.” I let go and nod.
“Dad am I making the right choice, to stay?”
“Yes, it makes you happy. Then you should be here, with people who care about you and can make you happy. I love you. I want you to be happy.” I nod. He kisses my forehead.
“Bye Dad.” I whisper. I follow him out my bag over my shoulder.
I've been staying at the McCall's for 2 weeks and I decided to get a job so I could buy my own food. So Melissa didn't have to, but she kept telling me not to worry about it. But I did anyway and the place I was working was Deaton's with Scott. I still thought about Aiden and Allison everyday when I woke up and every night before I went to bed. I stayed in Isaac's old room.
Mr. McCall is always trying to get me and Scott to eat dinner with him. It's pretty awkward. Mr. McCall always asking me if I'm dating anyone or how I'm doing with Allison, him and Scott making small talk. He's acting like I'm his kid sometimes. Which I guess is nice, since I basically have no parent figure anymore.
But I'm happy with my substitutes. Mr. Stilinski, Ms. McCall, even Deaton tries to help, sometimes Mr. McCall. They still walk on eggs shells with me, but some days are better than others. I just try and get through it. I don't know if I will ever be happy again, but I know I can try. But some days I still feel completely alone.
I don't believe Derek when he said things will get better. But maybe they can be tolerable.
=
Scott and I organize some supplies at work when Deaton comes up. “Have either of you heard the term 'regression to the mean?'” He asks. “No.” Scott and I reply. “It's a bit of a technical way of saying things will always even out.” “Like things will always get better?” I ask. I highly doubt it. “More like things can't always be bad.” “So, no matter how bad things get...” Scott trails off. “Or how good.” Deaton adds. “They always come back to the middle.” I add. “Regression to the mean.” “I'm not so sure that applies to a town like this.” Scott says. Deaton chuckles. “Yes. You might be right."
Okay so this is the last chapter of this book. Season 4 will be having it's own book. It will start off with Em in the wake of everything that has happened. I'm not sure what I want to call the book so if anyone has any idea what the book should be called. Comment it. I will be starting the book July 24
I love writting this story and shedding the tears with you guys. I hope you enjoyed Emily's story as much as I enjoyed writting it. I love all the support you guys have been giving me. So thank you! I love you guys so much. I really need help with the tittle so any idea works :)
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