Later that night, Clary's decision had been made and we were all on board to carry it out.
Walking through the graveyard, I thought about whether or not I should give my opinion. Clary had made the decision to resurrect Simon as a vampire.
She also told me Luke had given her the advice to choose the option that benefitted Simon, not herself. It was clear to me, even if it wasn't to her, that she was doing this for herself.
She'd lost so much since we entered into this world. Mom, her identity, art school, she almost lost Luke and now...Simon.
I couldn't say I blamed her for choosing to keep Simon somewhat alive but somehow I just knew that Simon wouldn't feel the same.
The crisp, wet grass crunched underneath our feet as we headed for a clear spot in the ground, the only noise in the silent night. The vampire, Raphael he had told us, was ahead of the group, leading the way with a shovel in hand. Clary and I were shortly behind him and trailing at the back was Jace who had Simon is his arms.
Raphael stopped a little behind one of the tombstones, arriving at an unmarked spot. Jace lowered Simon's body carefully to the ground but pulled his seraph blade out almost instantly, catching a sound my mundane ears couldn't pick up.
Suddenly, standing before us was a woman in a red dress. Her skin was pale and her lips as red as her outfit. I didn't need to know her to realise she must be the infamous Camille. I push Clary behind my back reflexively, standing taller as Camille smirked at us.
"What do you want?" Clary spits, her anger bubbling at the surface. She wasn't as afraid as she'd been the past couple of days. The Shadow World was gradually strengthening her and where she used to fall, she now stood tall.
"I want my property back" Camille hisses
"Your property?" I snarl, "Simon is not your property you fucking skank"
"If you just hand him over, I'll be on my way" Camille sighs, "And, as a sign of good faith, I'll ignore that vicious comment."
"You heard them" Jace echoes, "You're not laying a hand on him."
"Fine" Camille huffs, "I tried to do this the nice way."
She clicks her fingers and suddenly, a huge flock of vampires flit to her side...though some of the seemed like they didn't support what was happening.
"I'm glad you brought everyone here to witness your demise" Raphael smirks, addressing his people now, "Camille killed this mundane. Now, I have all the proof. She's been breaking the Accords for too long now. He's the evidence we need to show the Clave what Camille has been doing."
"Are you trying to overthrow me?" Camille chuckles
"No" Raphael shrugs, "I already have."
The vampires behind Camille now flock around her, entrapping her within their ranks.
Go, Raphael!
"Don't listen to him" Camille hisses, "Raphael doesn't know the first thing about leading. You need me. I've given you everything you could want. All the riches. All the pleasures you could desire."
"By breaking the law" Raphael notes, "Which will only destroy us."
"We can fix this" Camille says, attempting to sway them in her favour but it was apparent that she'd already lost, "If we just get rid of the body...This mundane means nothing."
"'Means nothing'?" Clary growls, emerging from behind me and sauntering towards Camille. I keep tight behind her but let her go. She needed to do this for herself, "Over my dead body."
Her fist comes flying at Camille's voice before she has time to process it and the punch sounds through the air, a sharp crack as bone meets bone. Camille recoils and hisses, baring her teeth like an enraged animal.
Clary turns to face us, a triumphant smile on her face as the vampire behind her swarm in on their overthrown leader, growling and hissing.
"Clary..." Raphael murmurs, turning to face us. Camille was whisked away, taken by the vampires she once controlled, leaving us alone again, "It's time."
Clary nods, taking the shovel from Raphael hesitantly. I could see the battle warring on in her eyes but her decision had been made and there was no changing it now.
Clary plunges the shovel into the earth, scooping out large mounds of soil and grass, the beginnings of Simon's grave...one we were all hoping he would manage to emerge from.
Clary had made her choice.
Now all that was left was to hope it worked out.
***
The grave had been dug, Simon had been buried and now all that was left was to wait.
Clary and I were seated right beside the grave, hand in hand, just staring at the dirt, willing and praying and hoping that Simon would come out from underneath it.
"That mundane's a fighter" Jace voices, crouching beside us, "He survived the vampire at the Hotel DuMort. He survived the werewolves at Jade Wolf. He survived accounting...for whatever that's worth."
"He is a fighter, isn't he?" Clary smiles fondly, eyes glued to the grave
"Damn straight" I nod tearfully, gripping Clary's hand tighter
"Look, Jace I know you think emotions cloud judgement...and that whole Falcon story, i'll never be able to understand that but...all of that contradicts the first rule of being mundane" Clary muses
"Falcon story?" I frown
"Don't ask" Jace chuckles lightly, "What's the first rule of being mundane?"
"It's that love makes you stronger" Clary says, "It's my mother's love for Cami and I that made her steal the Cup and betray our father..."
"It's my love for Clary that this wretched curse manipulated itself to protect Clary with every fibre in my being" I add, "It's love that makes us fight harder for what we want."
The tender moment is broken suddenly when the ground beneath begins to shake and rumble. Clary, Jace and I all stand and back away from the grave slightly as the dirt and rocks of Simon's grave vibrate and then still.
"It's happening" Raphael's voice breaks through the silence
And then a hand shoots up from the grave, clutching at the air and then at the ground, using any leverage it can to pull itself up. Simon emerges from the dirt next, breathing heavily as he pulls himself up and out of his grave, panting.
"Simon" Clary whispers, taking tentative steps towards him, "Simon...it's me. It's me, Clary."
Simon's face remains blank as he stares at her unknowingly...and then he hisses at her, lunging towards her. Instincts kick in when Clary screams and I launch in front of her, pushing her back.
I feel that horrible haze of the sleeper creep up on me, begging to come forward and take control but I push it back with a great deal of effort. If I allow myself to become a sleeper now, I'll kill Simon for sure.
"Once reborn, you emerge hungry..." Raphael explains, tossing a blood bag to Simon who rips it open hungrily, feeding from the contents inside viciously.
Now the threat had gone, I feel the haze slips back, settling back into the furthest corners of my mind until I can't feel it any longer. I rise up out of the crouch I unknowingly slipped into and resolve to beside Clary instead of in front.
"Very hungry" Raphael comments as Simon rips into another blood bag with his teeth, the blood spurting all over him, the dirt, the grass, his face...he was soaked in it, "Drink up."
Eventually, Simon's feral state ebbs away and his face merges from hungry to confused and shocked.
"Clary, Cami..." Simon pants...he looked scared, "What's happening?"
"You...you died" Clary breathes, assessing Simon cautiously
"I what?" Simon stutters, his face contorting. He notices the empty, bloodstained blood bag and reaches for it, "What is this?"
When he reads the label, he gasps, dropping the bag as if it were on fire. Terrified, he scrambles backwards on his hands and knees, pointing to the bag accusingly, "That's blood!"
Knowing what this might mean, Simon feels his face, his dirt covered hands searching his teeth, where they find his incisors, now elongated and sharper than normal, "Oh my G-Oh my..."
Simon panics, spitting at the ground, trying to rid the already digested blood from his system.
"Why can't I say G-" Simon struggles, attempting to push the word 'God' from his mouth but it was useless. I cover my mouth in shock, tears flowing freely from my eyes as I watch Simon's painful struggle against his new nature.
Clary shouldn't have done this.
I shouldn't have let her.
God, why did I say anything?!
"God" Raphael finishes and Simon looks at him in shock, "It takes time to regain the ability. There's a lot you will need to learn."
"Oh my-" Simon stammers but when the word fails to escape his lips again, he slams the ground in frustration, massive clouds of dirt floating up into the air, "Damn it!"
"Am I..." Simon begins, trying to force the words out of himself, "Am I a vampire?"
"Yeah" Clary whispers, so low it's hard to catch
"Clary tell me..." Simon stutters, "Tell me this isn't real. Tell me this is not really happening!"
I gasp, backing up slightly as I watch Simon unravel. It was one thing to question it, to wonder...but once Simon knew he was, in fact, a vampire, something broke within him. You could see it in his wide, fearful eyes.
It was torturous to watch.
"I'm sorry" Clary cries, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"I'm..." Simon wails, "I'm...I'm repulsive!"
"Please, Simon, don't-don't say that!" I sob, my hand muffling the words, "I'm so sorry, I should have stopped this..."
"You're still the same Simon!" Clary pleads, "You're the same Simon I've known all my life. The same guy who-who loves sci-fi. And who can recite every line from...from every Nicholas Cage movie. The same Simon who carried me over the Brooklyn Bridge when I lost my shoes, okay?"
It was unbearable to watch Clary try to convince Simon that he was still the exact same person he'd always been.
I knew better.
He was the same Simon who did all of those things, the same Simon who'd tried to convince me not to give up painting, the same Simon who'd been the first to congratulate me on getting into university. The same Simon who cheered us on with everything we did, who supported us even when he didn't feel we were doing the right thing.
But now he has an eternal struggle, an eternal burden to outlive the ones he loves for the rest of forever, accompanied by a negating thirst for blood that would never go a way. A curse that I allowed Clary to thrust upon him.
I curse at myself. I should've known better.
I knew what it felt like to be cursed and yet I willingly allowed an emotion 18 year old to choose how Simon would have to live the rest of his life. I chose to allow her to ignore Luke's advice, to be selfish and bring him back for herself...
Because I was selfish too.
I didn't want to lose the one person who'd been with us forever. We'd already lost so much...but in our selfishness we robbed that one person of his entire life.
"No, Clary, I'm not!" Simon screams
"Yes, yes you are!" Clary sobs, "Simon, you're still my best friend!"
"I'm not" Simon shakes his head, "I'm nothing more than a monster."
"No, Simon, you-"
"Stay away!" Simon begs, scrambling to his feet and away from us, from the grave he just dug himself out of, "Please just...stay away"
And then he disappeared, moving in a blur through the graveyard and dissolving into the darkness encased by the trees.
"Simon..."
"I'll look after Simon" Raphael assures us, "You have my word."
"Thank you, Raphael" I thank him, and he nods, a sign of thanks before disappearing into the darkness in Simon's tracks
Jace pulls Clary into his embrace, cradling her as she sobs.
"What did I do?" Clary cries, clutching to Jace's chest "What did I do?"
Mere seconds pass before I find myself stumbling away, heading anywhere but here.
"Cami, where are you going?" Clary questions tearfully
"Away" I shake my head, bewildered and shocked, "Anywhere...anywhere but here"
"We can't just leave Simon!" Clary protests, "We have to go after him!"
"Go" I encourage her, "Jace will go with you. I just...I need time. I need to...to be alone. I-"
I turn on my heel, wobbling my way through the graveyard, my arms crossed over my chest.
"Cami!"
I hear the sound of Clary's footsteps and then the stilling of them as Jace stops her.
"No, Clary...let her go."
And she does.
And I couldn't be more grateful for it.